Does this break bro-code

[gravityeyelids]

Okay so the girl in question, we'll call her Allie. I've known her since high school, and we were attracted to each other in high school, i took her to a dance, but nothing happened past that in high school or college. Fast forward 6 years. We inevitably hangout with similar people in our home town when we come back so we run into each other. During college i completely remade myself, built the body i wanted, upped my game and body language.

Basically a new person. She comes out with us, newly single and i know it's game time from the get-go. At the club, we're dancing all night and making out like crazy. she keeps saying **** like "where the hell were you in high school? you're so different". (this happened a few months back). Here's the dilemma. The guy she broke up with is my best friend's roommate, we'll call him Alex. Whenever i go out in my city, i crash at my friend's house because he lives downtown. I've probably crashed on their couch dozens of times, partied with Alex and i would def consider him a friend.

Allie keeps giving me blatant signals whenever i see her. Is it right for me to go after her when i'm still basically crashing on her ex's couch on an almost semi-weekly basis? I'd feel weird sleeping with/seeing his ex and still crashing at his place. He's a super cool guy and has been nothing but welcoming to me.

Part of me says this: "You knew her in high school, you guys were attracted to each other and were cool long before Alex came along. He's not with her any more, so it's fair game. Just explain it to him and he'll understand. This is the animal kingdom and you take what you want."

The other side of me says: "It's totally not cool to be going after a girl Alex dated for a long time (and was probably in love with) while you're crashing in his living room. Alex is a good guy and a friend and worth more than a girl that may be in and out of your life in the course of a few months."

Thoughts?

 

[GS750]

Depends on how good of a friend he is. If he's a close friend of several years I'd never date his ex. If he's more of a friend of a friend...I'd make it known to him but do what I want either way. If he's a reasonable guy he shoudn't stand in the way. It's his ex.

 

[Slickster]

Been in this situation too many times....

It is breaking bro code. Some dudes will shrug it off easily. Others can hold deep grudges. You never know.

Best thing to do is let her go or at least wait until Alex has found himself another girlfriend before you go down that road with his ex.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Ask him. Be casual. Eg how long have they been apart, does he still harbour feelings for her, does he have a new plate/gf.

And do you want to screw this girl or date her?

Overall in my mind, it definitely breaks a guy code. We call it sea gulling - feeding off an associates ex files.

 

[amazingswayze]

Don't let thoughts like that get in the way. You wanted her since high school. Get her.

Realize that once it happens it's not such a big deal and the kid won't even care as much as you think he will. He'll just have to accept it.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Depends on how good of a friend he is. If he's a close friend of several years I'd never date his ex. If he's more of a friend of a friend...I'd make it known to him but do what I want either way. If he's a reasonable guy he shoudn't stand in the way. It's his ex.

He is more of a friend of a friend that became a friend. He's been my best friend's roommate for probably 3 years and I didn't start to become really cool with him until like a year in. But we have similar interests and always talk about movies whenever we see each other. Which most of the time is when we're partying, but still...in your mid 20's mostly friends you run into when drunk.

 

[jzdoo]

Okay so the girl in question, we'll call her Allie. I've known her since high school, and we were attracted to each other in high school, i took her to a dance, but nothing happened past that in high school or college. Fast forward 6 years. We inevitably hangout with similar people in our home town when we come back so we run into each other. During college i completely remade myself, built the body i wanted, upped my game and body language.

Basically a new person. She comes out with us, newly single and i know it's game time from the get-go. At the club, we're dancing all night and making out like crazy. she keeps saying **** like "where the hell were you in high school? you're so different". (this happened a few months back). Here's the dilemma. The guy she broke up with is my best friend's roommate, we'll call him Alex. Whenever i go out in my city, i crash at my friend's house because he lives downtown. I've probably crashed on their couch dozens of times, partied with Alex and i would def consider him a friend.

Allie keeps giving me blatant signals whenever i see her. Is it right for me to go after her when i'm still basically crashing on her ex's couch on an almost semi-weekly basis? I'd feel weird sleeping with/seeing his ex and still crashing at his place. He's a super cool guy and has been nothing but welcoming to me.

Part of me says this: "You knew her in high school, you guys were attracted to each other and were cool long before Alex came along. He's not with her any more, so it's fair game. Just explain it to him and he'll understand. This is the animal kingdom and you take what you want."

The other side of me says: "It's totally not cool to be going after a girl Alex dated for a long time (and was probably in love with) while you're crashing in his living room. Alex is a good guy and a friend and worth more than a girl that may be in and out of your life in the course of a few months."

Thoughts?

There's no such thing as bro code, stupid.

 

[loco]

This is a rookie mistake, stay away from your boy's(alex) ex-girl. While you may not be the best of friends,you certainly are with the guy in the guy in the middle. They were together before but that doesn't mean it wouldn't bother him mentally even if you get his blessing verbally. Plus a dj doesn't get with easy game,he hunts it. Dating a friends ex shows no class and disrespect, it's a form of incest and nobody wants a homie hopper.

 

[Bingo-Player]

The EX sounds like a complete beta fag and at the moment so do you


Just get on with it and screw this chick youll soon find out if the ex has a problem or not ,but i think he will just cower into the shadows and let u get on with it

 

[jzdoo]

The EX sounds like a complete beta fag and at the moment so do you


Just get on with it and screw this chick youll soon find out if the ex has a problem or not ,but i think he will just cower into the shadows and let u get on with it

If anyone's a beta fag it's you.

 

[Yewki]

If it bothers him but you don't talk to him first... then it's really going to bother him. So just talk to him about it.

Explain the situation to him and ask if he's cool with it. Put the ball in his court, he'll likely say yes even if it bothers him to avoid being a c0ck block.

 

[Lozboss]

There IS a bro code.

Find someone else OP. Stop it with the scarcity mindset- you should be able to pull other women.

It will bother him, just as it would bother you if he f*cked your Ex.

Don't be another scumbag man*****- be a DJ with principles.