Does The Ex Ever Come Back?

[WC2]

Hmm... I was going over this post and a question popped into my head.

Of all of us who have used the NC rule to move on and forget about an ex. How long did it take the lady to break the silence and eek themselves back into your life? And thats if you even let them back in.

For me ive used it twice before and it took about 2 months...

What're your times?

~WA

Within 2 weeks.

Chicks respond quickly when you live in a close knit community (college town) in which they see you out with other women.

 

[Walking Anomaly]

ah yes much quicker...

it was longer for me as i did not dorm at school and hence the girls didnt see me with others often.

Also used it one time outside of college which i think takes longer because you dont have the increased possibility of them seeing you since you arent on a campus.

~WA

 

[Disco]

also last night when we talked it was so weird. she told me that she "deserves way better than this". that "her she is in love with me, but her love is not strong enough to endure the problem i have with letting people get close to me"...like i said i was highly abused as a child...i know that's my own but it did affect me with this girl b/c i really did let her get close. she also said "maybe this will inspire you so it never happens to you again". and the greatest one when i said she was detaching "i am not, you are just in denial b/c i am not talking to you like your girlfriend, i am done with you and you don't want to get it. don't call me again, it's very selfish of you". and of course this was great to hear too "you are easily replaceable". i asked her too if she wanted the last time we hung out to be her walking out the door so fast and she said "yeah, i'm fine with that".

the weird thing is that she has some of my movies, i asked if i could walk over and get them and she said "um...no...i lent that out". i know she didn't, they are there. why would she not let me come and get my stuff? and how the **** can someone detach like that so fast?

 

[WC2]

also last night when we talked it was so weird. she told me that she "deserves way better than this". that "her she is in love with me, but her love is not strong enough to endure the problem i have with letting people get close to me"...like i said i was highly abused as a child...i know that's my own but it did affect me with this girl b/c i really did let her get close. she also said "maybe this will inspire you so it never happens to you again". and the greatest one when i said she was detaching "i am not, you are just in denial b/c i am not talking to you like your girlfriend, i am done with you and you don't want to get it. don't call me again, it's very selfish of you". and of course this was great to hear too "you are easily replaceable". i asked her too if she wanted the last time we hung out to be her walking out the door so fast and she said "yeah, i'm fine with that".

the weird thing is that she has some of my movies, i asked if i could walk over and get them and she said "um...no...i lent that out". i know she didn't, they are there. why would she not let me come and get my stuff? and how the **** can someone detach like that so fast?

I think we've been over this.

Loss of attraction = Total b!tch. Always. They will try to cover it up to spare your soul, but since you're relentless, she's just telling you how it is now.

So really you didn't need us to tell you, she just told you right there.

Why are you still contacting her? You don't need her and in all honesty she's bad for you right now.

F*ck your movies, you just want to see her. You will get your movies back at a later time when you're in bed with some other chick and you need them.

No contact is the most important thing. For your sake, you've got to get this monkey off your back. It won't happen right away, but there has to be a starting point. It should be right now.

 

[Disco]

i know, it's just hard to take b/c the night before this happend my **** was in her and right before the fight my **** was in her hand. she does have a history of going black and white with me.

 

[Walking Anomaly]

Lol another question popped into my head since i have recently dealt with this situation

WC2, in your opinion, who should break the no contact rule? The dumper or the dumpee. My philosophy has been the dumper. They left you, why would you still try to reach out to them when they wont you.

All in all i think its a sick game...dont get me wrong, it works, but its a sick mental/emotional game and i dont like playing it lol.

~WA

 

[Leporello]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I've had exes come back...but that doesn't mean they've become different people. Whatever 'turned' them in the first place can come back.

 

[WC2]

Lol another question popped into my head since i have recently dealt with this situation

WC2, in your opinion, who should break the no contact rule? The dumper or the dumpee. My philosophy has been the dumper. They left you, why would you still try to reach out to them when they wont you.

All in all i think its a sick game...dont get me wrong, it works, but its a sick mental/emotional game and i dont like playing it lol.

~WA

The whole point of the no contact rule is just that; no contact.

A lot of guys think 'no contact' should be used to stray their exes back into their life, but that's not really why we use it.

We use it to get the girl out of our head and to move on.

Now naturally, if you don't contact someone who loves attention (women), they will yearn for more contact and ultimately try to make contact with you.

Don't misinterpret my post; I'm not a big fan of getting exes back. In fact, I think it's stupid. I think you should drop all your exes and move on to a new woman who could possibly offer you more.

But the OP asked if exes ever come back and yes, they do. And that's when the come back. When no contact has been made and you've been getting on with your life.

So to answer your question.. the dumpee should NEVER be contacting the ex unless it's dire straits (and I don't mean needing to get your movies back or something). And this is because men need to get on with their lives; not because they want to get their exes back.

 

[Effington]

As the line from Swingers goes, they usually come back just about the time you don't want them to anymore. They have some sixth/sick sense on that kind of stuff.

 

[Walking Anomaly]

Originally posted by WC2
Don't misinterpret my post; I'm not a big fan of getting exes back. In fact, I think it's stupid. I think you should drop all your exes and move on to a new woman who could possibly offer you more.

I understand where youre coming from here...

What i have been conflicted about as of recent is what about sometime down the line becoming friends with an ex, after youve moved on to something better and they too have done the same. In my younger days i said nah screw that and havent done such a thing.

Im fully aware that this line of thinking may be resulting of the recent NC/breakup i mentioned earlier....

But as ive gotten older, i dont know - im starting to think there's really nothing wrong with it - long as you have completely and surely moved on. Hell it could prove to be beneficial, in terms of expanding social circles, possibly career advancements if they know someone who could pull your resume in a line of work. Especially if it was a breakup where you just grew apart as mates, not because of cheating or any other reason involving lying, deceit and such.

Is there logic behind my reasoning? or am i babbling haha :crackup:

~WA