Does she want to start an affair or not?

[Chad Lowrey]

Here is a bit of a background on my situation:

• I (21m) work with this chick who is a HB 8.5 (32f - also married w/ no kids... yeah I know) on a small team in an office environment (3-4 people)
• She is sort of my superior/teacher.
• Has shown signs of attraction for several months now (Always runs hands through hair, fiddles with jewelry when I'm in her presence. Laughs extra hard at some of my comments that aren't even IMO funny and no one else is laughing except her. Calls my extension to ask questions she could easily find out herself...We go to the same gym and whenever run into her there I catch her staring at me through the mirror - (I'm pretty aesthetic slim/muscular build); One day she even sat at the juice bar there and watched me work out for about 15 minutes straight.,

So basically, one Friday she stops me as I'm walking past her office and asks me if I have any plans for the weekend. I told her I was probably just going to rest or something (was just getting over being sick). She tells me shes going fishing with her hubby, but not looking forward to it... (she pretty much avoids talking about him when we normally converse).

I took that as a sign she wanted to get together or something so as I leave the office I basically tell her to call me Saturday. (had to kind of use hand motions/ make her read my lips since I couldn't just tell her to call me - the receptionist was literally right across the hall)

She acts like she has no clue what I'm talking about (seemed like she was playing games, so I just tell her forget it and leave.)

A couple minutes after I leave I text her this.

So basically, she never ended up texting me that weekend but the Monday after she skips work, comes in Tuesday wearing a button down shirt with that "extra button undone". Later in the day she comes to look at something on my computer screen and stands right in between my legs to do it, kicking my foot in the process (I didn't dare make a move or anything since there was a coworker on a computer directly behind us)

She ends up being flirty the next couple weeks as usual.. and initiating texts, mostly work related but not always. (sometimes if its work related its something that she could easily do herself but she asks me to do anyways.... and I cant really say no since she is a superior)

I've never really initiated any texts with her that weren't work related, and lately I haven't been texting her at all even for work related issues, As of now I've walked away from this chick... (not going to chase a woman who plays games... especially when she is married)

It seems like she wants an affair but she may just be an ASW... My strategy for getting the lay is basically just hanging back like I've been/keeping it professional and waiting for her to invite me out one day now that she clearly knows I'm interested... (she has asked me to a semi-work related social event before, then the day of the event when we were at work she acted like she forgot about it and hinted that she wasn't going - even though she was the one who invited me) In hindsight, probably a good idea we didn't go to a social event together in our town seeing as how she is married. Anyhow, I figure if she asked me out once she will probably do it again if I continue to let her chase.

Sorry for the long read...
What are your thoughts on this chick? Is she interested but not willing to cheat? Any ideas on how to proceed? Please no comments about how its a bad idea banging married women...we all know this already. I like the danger aspect of it as I consider myself a thrill seeker.

 

[Tictac]

Married women are for losers with no options.

 

[Chad Lowrey]

Married women are for losers with no options.

I have options though, I think I may listen too much rap music however

 

[Huffman]

She's playing alright, but she may not have a plan.
She's not planning "I want to start an affair" or "I will f*ck him on this or that day", all that she probably thinks is "I'll make him hot and see what happens".

You decide what happens. Don't read too much into a womans' intentions, all you will find are irrational emotions.

 

[Chad Lowrey]

She's playing alright, but she may not have a plan.
She's not planning "I want to start an affair" or "I will f*ck him on this or that day", all that she probably thinks is "I'll make him hot and see what happens".

You decide what happens. Don't read too much into a womans' intentions, all you will find are irrational emotions.

I'm also hanging back to see what happens, since she has been the one initiating 80-90% of the contact... would you even bother asking her out when she initiates contact if she plays so many games? What would the master don juan recommend my next move be if my end goal is purely sex?.

 

[Tictac]

What would the master don juan recommend my next move be if my end goal is purely sex?.

Find a woman that isn't married Dangerboy.

Married women are for losers with no options.

 

[Chad Lowrey]

Find a woman that isn't married Dangerboy.

Married women are for losers with no options.

Call it Darwinism, but the risk of me getting blown away by an angry husband with a shotgun makes things so much more interesting.

 

[Tictac]

Call it Darwinism, but the risk of me getting blown away by an angry husband with a shotgun makes things so much more interesting.

Like I said, it's for losers.

 

[Chad Lowrey]

Like I said, it's for losers.

I respect your opinion, but insults aren't necessary.

 

[Tictac]

I respect your opinion, but insults aren't necessary.

It's my opinion.

 

[Bible_Belt]

At 32, her looks and market value are starting to decline. Making a much younger man attracted to her is making her feel younger herself. That's what she's after. And she's getting it. That's what sucks for you - she's using you, and you're not getting anything in return. What she's doing is already infidelity - it's emotional infidelity.

If you want to fvck her, get her away from work, and make sure things are easy for her to get away with. The good part about her being married is that she is not going to tell anyone about the affair, because it makes her look bad.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Dont.
Seriously bro, dont. Not because she's married (and I share Tictac opinion), but because she's a coworker. Do you want to lose your job?
Do you have any other options? Go for them so your d¡ck calms down, and forget about this post-wall, married, coworker woman.

 

[ZTIME]

By implying that you would consider sleeping with some guy's wife. You must also be willing to accept the ramifications of your implication.

Let's say you do it and he finds out:

1. Does he beat your a**, or try to, or have 4 other fishing buddies do it?

2. Does she stay with him to work things out and find every way she can to get you fired?

3. Does she use your texts to make him jealous which reverts back to step #1?

There are many other things that can happen. These are just a couple things you may be concerned with.

You try hard to make yourself sound like a guy with a lot of options. If true, why start texting the first female coworker who asks what you're doing this weekend? Sounds more like a polite question instead of an invitation to f*ck.

Well.... We all choose our own path. Some of us would just choose to avoid broken glass and bare feet. Others think they're Hindu swamis.

 

[Chad Lowrey]

Dont.
Seriously bro, dont. Not because she's married (and I share Tictac opinion), but because she's a coworker. Do you want to lose your job?
Do you have any other options? Go for them so your d¡ck calms down, and forget about this post-wall, married, coworker woman.

Good point, about the job thing... I'm kind of an independent contractor so I could literally switch to another office tomorrow if need be. I probably should go for some other options, its just that none of them are married... which is the appeal for me as bad as that sounds.

 

[Ratiocinative]

What's your reasoning for going after a married woman? Because you're too lazy to bother meeting a single woman? I've been in that situation before too and when I thought about why her and not a single woman, that's the honest reason.

You can be playful flirty, have fun, have her set you up with a hot single friend, but don't mess around with her. Best case scenario you have sex a few times and she feels really guilty and ends it, worst case scenario you have some jealous guy who wants to shoot you. Not saying that's likely but why risk it? Just go meet some single women, more chance for more sex and less chance of getting your head blown off by a crazy wacko. Sounds like the better choice to me.

 

[Chad Lowrey]

At 32, her looks and market value are starting to decline. Making a much younger man attracted to her is making her feel younger herself. That's what she's after. And she's getting it. That's what sucks for you - she's using you, and you're not getting anything in return. What she's doing is already infidelity - it's emotional infidelity.

If you want to fvck her, get her away from work, and make sure things are easy for her to get away with. The good part about her being married is that she is not going to tell anyone about the affair, because it makes her look bad.

As in invite her for drinks out of town or something? Sure I'm attracted to her, but I haven't really invested myself nearly as much as she has. Like I've said, she does about 80-90% of the initiating.

 

[Chad Lowrey]

By implying that you would consider sleeping with some guy's wife. You must also be willing to accept the ramifications of your implication.

Let's say you do it and he finds out:

1. Does he beat your a**, or try to, or have 4 other fishing buddies do it?

2. Does she stay with him to work things out and find every way she can to get you fired?

3. Does she use your texts to make him jealous which reverts back to step #1?

There are many other things that can happen. These are just a couple things you may be concerned with.

You try hard to make yourself sound like a guy with a lot of options. If true, why start texting the first female coworker who asks what you're doing this weekend? Sounds more like a polite question instead of an invitation to f*ck.

Well.... We all choose our own path. Some of us would just choose to avoid broken glass and bare feet. Others think they're Hindu swamis.

Well, shes the only married plate I'm spinning right now... so as far as married options go yeah I guess I don't have too many. And its not the fact that she just asked me, its the fact that she stopped me as I was walking past her office, and then proceeds to tell me she isn't looking forward to spending time with her husband.

 

[Asmodeus]

You said she was your superior at your workplace...

No, do not do it. It is not worth it as I have known this kind of stuff to wreck peoples careers. That would be a huge potential risk to take all to bang some 30+ year old pvssy who seems to be a very lowbrow woman who is obviously a liar and game player.

Come on, you can do better than this...

 

[Chad Lowrey]

You said she was your superior at your workplace...

No, do not do it. It is not worth it as I have known this kind of stuff to wreck peoples careers. That would be a huge potential risk to take all to bang some 30+ year old pvssy who seems to be a very lowbrow woman who is obviously a liar and game player.

Come on, you can do better than this...

**** man when you put it like that.... It makes sense. How would you handle her flirting/texting me from now on then? Just ignore her and if she does invite me out just say I've changed my mind? Don't want her to make my life difficult at work just because I cut out giving her attention.. all though it would be pretty hilarious if I shut her down.

 

[dustmuffin]

You are 21. Why would you mess with a married woman? Don't you have other options? If not, get some.