Does she want me?

[Viper423]

Ok, so I've been trying to get over this girl for some time now. I've known her for 4 years and just this year we fooled around a few times and had sex, and I started to fall for her, but she didn't and still doesn't want a relationship with anyone. So she had post-sex regret and I told her that it was ok, that we both liked each other, then she said she doesn't know how much she liked me. I have a stronger interest level in her then she does in me. So she cut me off and said that we shoudn't do anymore physical things together because it might make me like her more and she doesn't want a realtionship with anyone at this time.
Well, after I finally thought I had got over her, after about a month of practically ignoring her, she is starting to call and talk to me more everytime I see her. Is there a possibility that she wants me again? And if not, then how can I get over her when she keeps contacting me and talking to me all the time?

 

[still the one]

It sounds promising. You say you had sex with her earlier and she said she wasn't interested in having a relationship with you - then. She has probably noticed you ignoring her and thinks she might lose you which would explain all the contacting you lately or she is an attention wh0re. I would say ask her again and if she says no she still doesn't want a relationship then next her unless you want to be some pathetic afc friend.

 

[uniassign]

Mate, this is the most destructive scenario to be in. She knows you have nothing else, and that means she is coming back WHEN she wants and ON HER TERMS. Obviously, she has all the POWER. Not good.

This scenario is commonly known as ONEITIS and it turns ugly because if it is left UNCURED, you end up handing your balls to the chick, who will control you to NO END without giving you ANY.

As put by a famous poster, don't know which one the problem with ONEITIS is that you refuse to believe that there is ONE MORE CHICK that is as good as the one you are "with". You would be better off spending some of your time trying to find ANOTHER ONE that might be more receptive to your advances. Not that you have to STOP seeing this one, just look for others at the same time. keep your options open.

The cure for ONEITIS is to go f&*k ten other women (GFTOW). I am almost 100% CERTAIN that when you have GFTOW you wouldn't care about what she is doing anymore.

If you still care about her after GFTOW, then you can call her.

 

[squirrels]

The question you should be asking is, "Do YOU want HER?"

 

[Eileen]

If you have to ask ...

 

[WaterTiger]

Viper, I'm going to have to agree with "Unassign". This girl knows you like her and it sounds to me like she's trying to play games. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Go date other women, tell this chick your calender is full & you don't have time for her.

 

[Viper423]

Ok, so should I just not answer anymore when she calls? And what do I do when she trys to start a conversation with me when I see her?

 

[xblitz44x]

Hey Viper, I'm going to go another route and say to be mature about it (imagine that). It sounds like she has a lot of issues and hang-ups and is constantly contradicting herself. It's hard enough to predict a 'normal' girl's (oxymoron?) behavior but if she is inconsistant it's really tough to peg her. First of all, I think you need to be ready to give her up if/when it comes down to it. Her hot/cold behavior isn't a 'game', IMO, but it's seriously an unconscious result of her issues coming to life.

"So she cut me off and said that we shoudn't do anymore physical things together because it might make me like her more and she doesn't want a realtionship with anyone at this time. "

Women LIKE to be into guys. You've given her no reason to fear liking you. Therefore her reason is a terrible one. And just because she would like you more, who's to say that it would have to become a relationship from there? I would confront her and tell her what is going on. Tell her that you like her, and you feel like you're being led around. Explain to her that it's not her fault. Tell her that if she likes you at all, to speak now because if not you think it's best to go seperate ways until you are ready.

Be mature about it because it isn't her fault, really. It's your inability to control your own emotions and the attachment you've developed to such an unhealthy situation. You will be fine though, it's just going to take some work.