does she really have a boyfriend?

[hitchcock1]

you guys might remember me as the guy who was seeing a girl who was really busy with her life. anyway although we had great dates, it seemed her interest faded and then she dumped me. no big deal, i moved on and started seeing other girls, but i was also going to try one last time with her a month later. i texted her saying that maybe we should talk about what happened and she said to call her. she had said before that she started seeing her old boyfriend and that left me out of the picture.

how do i find out if she really has a boyfriend? i don't really see her day to day and i don't know any of her friends.

i'm going to try to build up her interest again and i'll let you all know how it goes!

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

If a girl is attracted to you and has a boyfriend she usually DOES NOT tell you that she has one,on the other hand if she's single and not attracted to you she will say she has.Its not 100%,it may be an "try harder" test.

 

[playboy_supreme]

why are you wasting time with this girl. she has dropped you on your ass once and you want to try and raise her interest level again? why?

 

[speedo_meme]

you guys might remember me as the guy who was seeing a girl who was really busy with her life. anyway although we had great dates, it seemed her interest faded and then she dumped me.

Spot on. You were an AFC.

no big deal, i moved on and started seeing other girls, but i was also going to try one last time with her a month later.

Bullsh1t. You were thinking about her the whole time. I'd bet my house you didn't so much as talk to another girl. I know, I've been there.

i texted her saying that maybe we should talk about what happened and she said to call her. she had said before that she started seeing her old boyfriend and that left me out of the picture.

It doesn't matter. I used to think it did too. If you find out she was lying, then you call her out. But why? To make yourself look even more needy and insecure and just plain stupid?

how do i find out if she really has a boyfriend? i don't really see her day to day and i don't know any of her friends. i'm going to try to build up her interest again and i'll let you all know how it goes!

Why are you so hung up on a girl that didn't even like you enough to introduce you to her friends? I bet you didn't even have sex with this girl. Dude let it go. Work on being a DJ, then go after NEW girls that actually like you.

 

[hitchcock1]

all of the advice on this bboard seems directed to trying once and if you fail, give up and move on. sometimes good things come to those who try a little harder and persevere. sure, you may be in for a repeat let down, but at least you gave it a try.

the real problem, i agree, is if you get fixated for the whole time and you're always thinking about the girl, etc.... i was not like that, i definitely didn't think of her when i was seeing other girls and when i was out with people.

sure she said she started seeing her old boyfriend, but there are a million reasons she may say that...she may have thought we were moving too forward in our relationship, she may have thought she had limited time for a relationship. not every girl says "i think you're ugly" or "i'm really not that interested in you".

 

[speedo_meme]

Then why do you care? You're in denial, and you want somebody to up and say,"Go for it, go get her back, tell her how you feel!!!!" like the movies or something, and you won't listen to any advice unless it's what you want to hear. Right now, you're hopeless, and until you change your mindset and open up a little, you will remain hopeless and AFC.

 

[Tomatoes]

Either way is a dead end mate.

She either has a boyfriend....dead end for you.

She lied to you because shes not intrested.

Leave it be and get over the oneitis.

 

[Tomatoes]

all of the advice on this bboard seems directed to trying once and if you fail, give up and move on. sometimes good things come to those who try a little harder and persevere. sure, you may be in for a repeat let down, but at least you gave it a try.

the real problem, i agree, is if you get fixated for the whole time and you're always thinking about the girl, etc.... i was not like that, i definitely didn't think of her when i was seeing other girls and when i was out with people.

sure she said she started seeing her old boyfriend, but there are a million reasons she may say that...she may have thought we were moving too forward in our relationship, she may have thought she had limited time for a relationship. not every girl says "i think you're ugly" or "i'm really not that interested in you".

I agree......This board thinks that "next" is always the answer. Its not. I wont say to next a girl unless i think its neccessary. But you never spent a huge amount of time with her so in this case i dont think continuation is the option.

 

[Latinoman]

you guys might remember me as the guy who was seeing a girl who was really busy with her life. anyway although we had great dates, it seemed her interest faded and then she dumped me. no big deal, i moved on and started seeing other girls, but i was also going to try one last time with her a month later. i texted her saying that maybe we should talk about what happened and she said to call her. she had said before that she started seeing her old boyfriend and that left me out of the picture.

how do i find out if she really has a boyfriend? i don't really see her day to day and i don't know any of her friends.

i'm going to try to build up her interest again and i'll let you all know how it goes!

1- What is this thing with 'text' messages? She asked you to call her...why? Because that was the mature thing to do (talk instead of text). You lost points there.

2- Does it really matter if she had a boyfriend? She was obviously available if she was going out with you.

3- What truly matters is that she stopped going on dates with you. She lost attraction (assuming she had one). Or maybe they were not dates for her...maybe for her was more of hanging out with a buddy.


4- Just move on. Find a new girl and stop wasting your time for one that literally didn't find you good enough for her to begin with.

 

[Latinoman]

Kids...the ONLY time we should re-consider NOT "nexting" a woman is when that woman is either a

1- wife
2- LTR girlfriend
3- fiance

And still, we should next them if they do something we consider "deal breaker" (have any of you identify your "deal breakers"?) or if we fall out of love.

If the woman does NOT have one of the three titles above...then they should be nexted.

Being NEEDY is nothing to feel proud about. And even if the woman takes...it only gives her full control of the relationship. Only a she-man would want something like that. Are you guys she-men?

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

I agree with the guys who say to NEXT her. And this is coming from a guy who has made posts in the past about not NEXTing all the time!

What stood out for me is when someone mentioned she didn't even introduce you to her friends. My girlfriend, although we've been together only a relativley short time, has been trying to set up meets with me and her friends to introduce me to them and I have already met her best friend. I didn't think much of it as far as being an indicator of interest until this post, but none the less it looks like its missing from your brief fling with this girl.

The second thing is you have not mentioned weather or not you had sex with this girl or what physical moves in general were used. If you guys had a few nice "dates" that ended with you getting a kiss on the cheek - if even that - it probably means she didn't like you that much and had little to no sexual interest in you.

That is a key piece of info. If she was all over you and you did have sex or close to it, that's different. She may have had some reasons to leave you behind but maybe things can work out - even then its iffy but at least there might be a chance. Otherwise, forget about it. If not much physical action happened, you're not going to get anywhere with her again.

Finally, the FALLACY you are committing is the whole "I don't care that much, I just want to see how it goes with her again as an experiment". You are lying to yourself and to us, because you are OBVIOUSLY very attracted to this girl and you like her a lot. You aren't doing it to experiement for sh1ts and giggles, you are doing it because you are hoping it goes somewhere (you are outcome dependent).

So be honest with yourself, if you like this girl, go for it because you like her and want to be with her -- though we all strongly advise you against it because we've all seen this scenario play out a million times, none of which resulted in the outcome you would like. But go ahead, do it and find out for yourself, just know what you're in for.

If you are TRULEY wanting to just experiment, don't bother, again we have seen this play out enough times in the real world that we don't need a test subject to prove what we already know. Don't waste your time on it and get some action from girls who like you in the mean time. Then once you succeed at that you will have a much better story to talk about and discuss with us on the forums than your experiment with some chick who dumped you and got a bf.

 

[hitchcock1]

first of all, i don't care for anyone's votes of approval because i'm confident enough to do what i want to do. i just want people's opinions on HOW TO approach this, if you agree with my decision. if you don't agree, move on.

second of all, she wasn't my girlfriend, we had been out on dates 5 times, always had great times, even that last one, which was why i was suprised that it ended. although i never met her friends, she was mentioning me to them even about what i do. even on the phone call she answered she was telling them about me.

and our dates did end with hooking up, never sex though. all of a sudden, though, she called it off.

last thing, i texted her after a long time off, and she asked me to call her to talk. this is where it currently is at.

anyway that's the story.

 

[flexion_]

Well to answer your question... If you want to find out if she has a BF then you need to stalk her. Like you said, you don't want our advice just HOW TO.

So there you go.