Does she like me? (2 Questions)

[BackInTheGame78]

Too late, you already bombed.

She wasn't interest in your plans, she was wondering if you were an active outgoing person who might be fun. By answering 'no', you're closing the door, not opening it. As evident by her dull response: "No, just working."

You could've turned her 'no' around, but only right at that moment with the proper presence of mind.
Now it's too late for that, better luck next time.

It always amazes me when people try to turn basic polite small talk conversations into a "you missed your shot!!" interactions.

There was absolutely nothing about this that said she was interested in any way. She was making small talk, like is normal for situations like this. It's something she would ask an 80 year old lady too.

There was nothing he "missed", it was never any sort of indicator or test, just a normal conversation.

Is it to the point people can't even tell what are normal social conventions anymore? Have we become that socially out of touch?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Easy. As OP pointed out, he was sexually interested in the bank teller, so his aim was not basic polite small talk. Maybe it was just polite small talk from the bank teller perspective, but not for OP.


From OP's perspective, that of a Don Juan, he could've turned her 'polite small talk' into an approach / seduction. He tried that, but he failed to turn the conversation into a successful approach.

I'm not knocking your argument, but this was only a polite interaction from the bank teller's perspective, not from OP's perspective. For OP, this is a failed cold approach and he's asking if he can still 'save' it or 'turn it around', but I don't think he can, because he lacks the skills to do so. And maybe the talent as well, but IDGAF.

I'm talking about the overall interaction. Sure, you can always turn any conversation into an attempt for seduction but it's been shown that guys way way overestimate the woman's interest in the vast majority of cases.

There was nothing to indicate this was anything other than small talk. OP can take it whatever way he wants but his chances of turning it into anything more than small talk in this situations is exceedingly small.

It's called reading the room.

 

[Scaramouche]

She is probably in her mid 30s and I am 62.

Hi Davidson,
She probably has potentially warm feelings towards you as you remind her of her Dad....Not my thoughts but those of my 34 year old who worked her way through Uni as a Barmaid....The only occasions on which I have seen age disparities like this work is where the Guy is very Wealthy or has great Status in the Community...You needn't be Hugh Hefner,maybe just a very competent Dancer who can make her look good on the floor,to vaying degrees they are all Show Ponies....But all is not lost,you can get a taste of that in the Philippines.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Is is just me that finds that kind of question weird, in that particular context? After all, it's a bank, not a bar.
I would've just given her a bemused look and asked: what do you mean?

This is not ‘weird’. In fact, this kind if chit-chat is not uncommon in situations like these.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I can see where you might think that... I'm really not being clear.

The only advice I can give men is to really not care where he might stand with any woman he happens to meet. Trying to figure out what is going on in another person's head is at best an educated guess.

If a man is the type of guy that likes to hit on clerks and waitresses... well the dude has to be who he is.

Me... well... I just avoid any personal relationships with people I have to work with or provides a service for me or my family. Heck, I have 8 people who work directly for me, heck three have been with me for 18 years.... I have no idea how many kids or grandkids they have... don't know how old they are or their birthdays. The only time I know anything about what is going on in their lives is when they ask for leave to take care of grandkids, or to bury a relative. If they end up in a hospital, I'll go visits and check up on them. Work is work... not awesome social hour. If I'm paying for something: if I'm being paid for a service.... then that is the extent of the relationship. Now this works for ME, and it is not advice I would give to everyone.

I know owners that run their business like everyone that works for them is family... and they are very successful. It works for them so great!

I know men that only date women they meet as clerks, waitresses, and bar tenders. It works for them so great!

I can't say that I disagree with anything you said here.

My only thing is; telling a guy that just because a woman is friendly to him while she in the capacity of her job, that this doesn't mean she is feeling him.

As if she can't be friendly at work while feeling him at the same time.

To remove all doubt and the bullshiit guessing games and overthinking, it is simple..

Approach all (or most) women you find attractive, regardless of whether she is giving you IOI's or not.

If guys adopt that mentality and remove the middleman (IOI's) shiit, it becomes easier.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

When a woman asks you "if you have any plans today" yes she is interested if there is:

1. Eye Contact (strong indicator)
2. Hair flicking
3. Body Language that indicate interested.

It isn't as black & white as that, though.

What if she asks you that, without giving those three cartoonish ass signals?

Does that mean she ain't interested?

No, it doesn't.

It means that every woman isn't going to give you all (if any) that. And that is the gray area.

If she is attractive to you, approach her regardless.

 

[Learning Curve]

It isn't as black & white as that, though.

What if she asks you that, without giving those three cartoonish ass signals?

Does that mean she ain't interested?

No, it doesn't.

It means that every woman isn't going to give you all (if any) that. And that is the gray area.

If she is attractive to you, approach her regardless.

Risky, considering it's a work environment she works at, you never know.

It's a risk or take, in such situations you need clear signals or at-least one of them.

By the way, those "three cartoonish signals" you mentioned especially the first one is how women give you choosing signals.

 

[BaronOfHair]

It isn't as black & white as that, though.

What if she asks you that, without giving those three cartoonish ass signals?

Does that mean she ain't interested?

No, it doesn't.

It means that every woman isn't going to give you all (if any) that. And that is the gray area.

If she is attractive to you, approach her regardless.

And "Does she dig me?" is itself a far from binary question. She may like you enough to joke around and be flirty for a few minutes, but not be enthralled enough to join you for coffee. She might be game for coffee, but not especially enthusiastic about accompanying you to the pool later that week. Even if she's down to go to the pool with you later that week, she may have no desire to come home with you, and take off that bikini

The list could go on

 

[BaronOfHair]

Is it to the point people can't even tell what are normal social conventions anymore? Have we become that socially out of touch?

It sure as hell is. In fact, our civilization has been heading down this road since The mid-late 80s, when 24 hour cable TV and video game consoles became almost ubiquitous throughout America, and we started concocting excuses to remain indoors, escaping into fantasy worlds. Over the ensuing decades, the advent of The World Wide Web, streaming services, and social media have just exacerbated this particular social ill

Not saying this is to be critical of anyone. I've been guilty of it myself, more times than I care to remember

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Risky, considering it's a work environment she works at, you never know.

Man, you guys use that "work" shiit as an excuse...in fact, you use every excuse in the world to not make a move.

"I was gonna ask for her number, but the grocery store ran out of Fruit Loops, so I didn't".

It isn't as if you are trying to fuk her while she is on her job.

Ask for her fuking number and stop being damn pansy.

It's a risk or take, in such situations you need clear signals or at-least one of them.

Assuming she is going to give you any of those signals, even if she likes you.

By the way, those "three cartoonish signals" you mentioned especially the first one is how women give you choosing signals.

You are preaching to the choir, brethren.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

And "Does she dig me?" is itself a far from binary question. She may like you enough to joke around and be flirty for a few minutes, but not be enthralled enough to join you for coffee. She might be game for coffee, but not especially enthusiastic about accompanying you to the pool later that week. Even if she's down to go to the pool with you later that week, she may have no desire to come home with you, and take off that bikini

The list could go on

Exactly.

Well, Mode One (X) will allow you to cut through the bullshiit.

I hate mixed signals.

 

[member162951]

You can say something like:
"Well I was planning to dominate the world today, but it's [insert time] and I'm a little too late for that.
I'll have to settle for Mongolia instead.

LOL, c0cky/funny. I would have laughed at that!
(I'm female).

It's gotta come naturally though like with @Tilex . But it's something to strive for!