Does she has low IL if she asks you.....

[ds28]

....if you have any "guy" friends?

Girl I know, friend of friend. We've been hanging out a bit. I give her the C&F and tease her. She finds it funny, we get on well etc. She calls me every now and again, when she doesn't really have to eg. when I email her asking for the address of some place but she phones me in reply and tries to get me invovled in some general friendly convo. She invites me to her parties, birthdays etc and is either naturally very friendly or is being a little flirty flirty - she tries to feed something into my mouth with a spoon. I give it whole independant cool / desireless attitude because I don't really fancy her physically (she's probably a 5) although we get on well in terms of personality etc.

Been thinking about whether she was interested (simply out of curiosity at this stage) but I'm not entirely sure whether I've read this right. Either she's ultra friendly or she's showing some IL.

But then after a couple of months of me not making a move, during a telephone convo she says, "do you have any guy friends you could introduce me to?"

Seems like she's not interested?

Any views?

 

[die4me]

If she asked you if you had any guy friends to introduce her too, then she most likely isn't interested to well in you and views you as a friend. Don't worry though, you said she was only a 5. Use her for practice for the real thing

Maybe you didn't kino a lot. Even the most subtle touches in the right spots and the right moment get them thinking of you in a different way.

 

[ds28]

There have been a couple of occasions, when I droped her off at her place after an evening out with us a group of friends and I just dropped her off, and gave her a peck on the cheek and just left. I was in between GF's at the time, and it never even entered my mind that to try something on with this girl. She knew about my the 1st GF, and maybe (or maybe not) about the 2nd GF.

Hower during the last month or so, I've moved cities (to about 1 hour away) so I haven't been seeing her at all and been thinking that I kinda miss her company because we get on pretty well. She hasn't contacted me one since I've been away (didn't even respond to one of my emails). Seems strange that before I left, she would go out of her way to phone me, invite me out to things, if she's just being friendly (or am I wrong here) but hear absolutely nothing from her since I moved away.

Was curious to see if I've read this situation right.

 

[Starman]

make take is ..she probably is interested in you..and EVERY friend that you have..she sounds like a slvt

you should have said.."Yea I sure do, Do you have some hotties you can introduce me to?"

 

[ds28]

She's definitely not a slut. In terms of attitude, she's pretty good. Classy chick, just not particularly good looking. And yeah, I've met a few of her friends

 

[TesuqueRed]

If she was interested she has decided you're a sexual dud or not interested in her for not having made a move (regardless of her 5.0-ness, you know.) This reflects badly on her powers of attraction (well, not necessarily, but you know what I mean..)--the unhealthy ones will take it as an insult (about 20%+ of them will, in my estimation...), the healthy ones will not take it as an insult, but will never give you another chance--they figure you don't have balls enough for them.

You've been LJBF'd and now are geographically undesirable even for that.

 

[anakin]

She's not interested.

Most likely you fell into the friends zone.

Originally posted by ds28
But then after a couple of months of me not making a move...

Voila...that was your problem.

 

[ds28]

Okay, so we're agreed that she's definitely not interested NOW. That's pretty much my view.

Does anyone think she was interested initially? (Need to fine tune my IL radar )

 

[TesuqueRed]

Most definitely PROBABLY.

But you never made a move to test it and find out.

You and us will never know for sure since she will NEVER be candid whether she was or not. It's a pride thing (and is quite healthy and natural)--it makes her look like an undesirable loser. She'll stick to the "we were just the best of friends, how could anyone think..? line.

 

[ds28]

Much appreciated Tesque Red for your input. Useful and interesting. Thanks also to everyone that replied.

 

[die4me]

Originally posted by TesuqueRed
Most definitely PROBABLY.

But you never made a move to test it and find out.

You and us will never know for sure since she will NEVER be candid whether she was or not. It's a pride thing (and is quite healthy and natural)--it makes her look like an undesirable loser. She'll stick to the "we were just the best of friends, how could anyone think..? line.

Yup. I agree, especially since you mentioned that she went out of her way to invite you places, and phone you a lot. At least you still got her friends as potentials

 

[white_hype]

just think about it and you should realise the answer..

ok you didnt..

obviously she likes you or she wouldnt be calling/flirting with you, but after a while (2 months is a long ass time, shes a 5 and thats why she probably waited so long casue she has no other options) of you not asking her out or trying to get romantic/physical she has moved on and wants to meet other dudes buy is so ugly she cant get any herself so shes like hey why not, we are friends and he doesnt like me like that, "do you have any guy frineds"

and bingo

i would keep her around to get/bang all her hot friends and go to her parties, nothing more

 

[WaterTiger]

Okay! Here's a female point of view.

I did the same thing to a guy at work. We went out as "friends" to the movies & after-work drinks. I flirted and he seemed to enjoy the attention, but never did anything about it. I LIKED the guy and was sending clear signals. I was frustrated & a little ticked off. The next time he mentioned a friend of his, I asked if his friend was seeing anyone... and could he pass my number along? I was looking for some one to date, because he obviously wasn't interested. He was totally shocked. It put a new spin on the "friendship".

The moral of the story?

Don't hesitate! Test those waters! She might have been totally hot for you and just got frustrated by your lack of attenion! A girl will SAY she just wants to be friends if she thinks you'll reject her. Friends means no pressure. But she may want to me MORE than friends. Never know unless you ask. She didn't refuse those friendly pecks on the cheek...

 

[Quick]

I don't agree that she's definitely not interested. Males aren't the only ones that go into the friend zone in hopes that they can someday get more. All those behaviors you described were of high interest. But because you didn't act on her signals, she decided to settle for being friends, because it seemed you weren't interested.

It's very possible that she was asking about your guy friends to test your reaction. I highly doubt that you were the only person she would think of if she wanted to get hooked up. I also doubt she asked everyone. So why did she ask you out of nowhere? She could be trying to see if you have any interest in her at all. Could have been hoping to lead to a conversation talking about the two of you. If it was a test, it was a desperation move. A last try before she gave up on you.

I'm coming from the perspective of being in a similar situation. A girl who i'm not attracted to physically, but who is a great match personality wise has feelings for me which she never came right out and said, probably because she knows i've been rejecting her by not responding to her signals. Invited me to her dad's birthday party and all that. Her pride prevents her from coming right out and saying something, but she gives me these little tests now and then to see my reaction. I wouldn't be surprised if she asked me a similar question in a month or two.

Edit: I just saw watertiger's response. That's exactly what i'm talking about. It's a last ditch attempt to move things from friendship to relationship.

 

[becker]

Pretty interesting, but what type of signals should a guy be looking for to determine whether a girl is interested or not in this type of situation?

I think all girls tend to manifest the interest in different ways, which makes it difficult for us guys to read.

 

[Quick]

If she already showed obvious interest, then you can bet that her talking about other guys is trying to draw a reaction out of you.

This is only in a unique case where you have a girl who's interested and a guy who isn't responding to her signals. In the cases that ds28, watertiger, and I describe; there had been semi-dates, some flirting, and then hanging out as friends because the guy never initiated.

Asking about a hookup with your friends in a different context might mean something totally different.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I totally agree with WaterTiger, and Quick,

If you've seen some of the signs of interest, then she is DEFINITELY testing to see where she stands. She is trying to get a reaction; she might say things like "you and I would be perfect together, but Im afraid it would ruin it." Not to be confused by the "friend speech" guys; the friend speech comes after a guy who's been long LJBF-ended tries to put the moves and there is no interest.

When there is some interest, SHE will bring things up on her own, out of nowhere, not as a reaction to a guy who's trying to take it to another level. She is interested, but since you are not going along with her signals, she's trying to get a reaction. If you keep hanging out with her, she will confess her having the HOTS for you; so I don't know if that's what you really want. Just be prepared.

 

[ds28]

Good stuff guys (and gals). Much appreciated.

 

[Cremasta]

But then after a couple of months of me not making a move, during a telephone convo she says, "do you have any guy friends you could introduce me to?"

"No, I'd like to keep them as friends..."