Does she has a low interest in you if she tells you about her guy friend

[IQ]

Hi,

What do you guys think if the girl you are attracted to and talked to, ever mention her guy friend and her eagerness to see him or go out with him.
Is it a sign of disinterest if she mentions
her guy friend to you. (Actually say that he is my friend and going to see him on the vacation and probably have some fun).

IQ.

 

[Poet]

It is a sign of dis-interest but more so if you sit & listen to it you are tellin her you don't really care & you are a wimp. Tell her you are not interested in hearing about it period. Now this weekend I hooked up with this chick & she is tellin me about her on again off again BF in Florida & I responded..."well, he's in Florida (We are in Nevada) so he don't count". End of BF story, she didn't talk about him anymore. Poet

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Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.

 

[IQ]

Well,

Its ok you change the topic and dont talk about her friend. But isn't it normal to have guy friends and go out with. Like I have female friends to go out with and I can mention about them to the girl I am attracted to ( They are my friends).

Also, what do you think if the girl you are interested in ever tries to flirt with other guy in front of you (maybe to make you jealous or so) Is it also a sign of dis-interest or it could be a way to create jealousy. Well, you never know about this for sure, until you ask her out on a date.

What should we say, if we want to ask a girl on a real date. Should we say, lets get together sometimes, how about we make it our date and then the time and activity.

Whats your input.

IQ

 

[Poet]

OK 1st explore this site...get some info. I can tell you're young & kids think differently than adults (30 & 40 yr.-olds). Of course guys talk to girls & vica versa about their BF / GF....or the one they are interested in. The advantage you have is that you are aquiring more knowledge & you will have better skills than most of your friends who are probably clueless but ya know what? Most of the chicks your age are also clueless so it seems to work out by process of elimination as to who gets who....kinda haphazard way of getting together with the one you like eh? Therefor read / study & learn.

Jealousy is a sucky emotion. If someone tries to make you jealous just blow it & her off....when you respond in a jealous manner guess who's in control & guess who just pushed your buttons? The chick did & you just gave her all the power. You keep the power & show her if she wants to act that way you got better things to do or tell her straight out...do that again & you are on your own cause I don't tolerate that kind of behavior..period.

In a relatioship there is usually one with the emotional power or a majority of it...sure, in a perfect relationship they are partners but usually the holder of the emotional strings gets what he / she wants, that should be you, give up that control & depend on someone else to give it to you & you have become dependent on that person for your happiness...that's what women are supposed to do not men. As a younger guy I know a lot of this seems harsh to you & I only speak now from adult relationships. So take it with a grain of salt & adjust as needed.

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Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.

 

[FGarcia1]

I personally think girls do NOT try to get a guy jealous of them in this manner, unless they thought the guy was "slipping" away from them.

My rule: an interested girl doesn't try to risk the chances that her guy'll walk away by mentioning other guys. Guys might try to talk about girls in front of their target if they thought the girl they were after is starting to lose interest; I think it works both ways.

So, this girl probably isn't interested... unless she thought you were but are starting to let it fade.

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"Only a life lived for others is worth living." --Albert Einstein

"When nothing makes sense, I'll fight believing only in myself."--Heero Yuy, Gundam Wing

 

[Pook]

I used to think a girl talking about her boyfriend was disinterested. Due to some experiences, not anymore.

In a one on one situation, she starts talking about dating or boyfriend, she wants you to steal her.

REMEMBER the theme her mind is on. (For example, if she asks, "Are you gay?" her mind is on SEX! And most of the time she is wanting to shag you.) When she brings up dating and boyfriend, she is thinking 'relationship' and is hoping that you steal her, that by mentioning boyfriend that you are FIRED UP to hurry and steal her NOW before it is too late!

Many 'nice guys' think they are progressing when the chick tells them about their loser boyfriends or about guys in general. In actuality...

These guys have become Emotional Tampons!

The girls will vomit their emotions on you, and the nice guy emotional tampon becomes 'spoiled' and DUMPED to Nice Guy Graveyard!

The only way I can tell the 'uninterest' boyfriend talk from the 'interest' boyfriend talk is that the 'uninterest' boyfriend talk is all about how the chick feels (how Mr. Jerk did this and that to her, how she hates/loves him, etc.) while the 'interest' boyfriend talk is about what the THINGS (not feelings) the boyfriend did.

Women drop hints. Sometimes they'll drop a hint of their boyfriend and dating by showing to you that they are in high demand. Girls are stupid. They think if you know guys are after her that you will go after her too (because women will go after guys who have fan clubs. She is trying to give you social proof!).

Recently, I've had TWO encounters with this. First, a woman who liked me, sat close to me, and then blabbed about what her boyfriend was doing for her. Second, and more recently, a woman who was INFATUATED with me started talking about how all these guys were giving her flowers and how high demand she was.

My advice is to IGNORE the boyfriend/dating talk altogether. When you make the judgement for high interest or low interest, never rely on a single sign. Look for others, look at the whole picture. They will give you a better idea since it is difficult to tell when a woman is using you as an emotional tampon or trying to give you social proof.

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Pook
"As you think, you shall become."

 

[Futurologist]

BUMP

Pook's reply might help, if you're looking to "take" a girl away from her boyfriend.

 

[BLuE eLf]

If a girl mentions about his boyfriend this doesn't mean that she feels "disinterest" .
Reasons to talk about his boyfriend :

---They want to convince themselves that they have a great life
---They put a price on themselves because she tells you that "his boyfriend is so great and he deserves her" - they tell you that because they want to feel important, people oftent do that to feel important.
---Because she is irresistible atracted to you she feels vulnerable - the only way that she can avoid this is to reject you, or to talk about his boyfriend.... .
Many girls say"I am not irrestible atracted to you, i have a boyfriend... and he is the only guy i like !" , because they want to fight against the atraction you exercit upon them .


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Live your life

[This message has been edited by BLuE eLf (edited 02-07-2002).]

 

[Paradox]

Love Pook's take on this.

Bump

 

[krd]

This girl I know has recently been doing this to me. Every time she's with me, she talks about the stuff she and her boyfriend did. One time she told me he was being an a-hole, but I don't remember inquiring about it any further (you're not supposed to let her think she can dump all her relationship problems on you).

One time, she told me how she likes to sleep with her boyfriend in his bed. Jokingly I replied "Shame on you" and she was quick to point out that there was no sex and thar she's saving herself for marriage. Now why the heck would she be telling me this, especially if I never asked? She really isn't a knockout (although she's really cute), and she's relatively shy, so I really do suspect it's because she's trying to raise interest in other guys to make her feel good about herself.

Although I still talk to her from time to time, I stopped making her a priority once I found out about her boyfriend. Therer's this other kid who's always hanging around her. She said he's not her type, but who's gonna tell him that? I'm aware that I'd be foolish to go out of my way to talk to her, because it's possible that she acts this way with every guy, but maybe I shouldn't be so quick to eliminate her as a possibility, either. What do you guys think?

Sometimes I wish Pook would still post in this forum, since his advice always seemed to be so helpful. Wherever you are, Pook, we miss you!

 

[crowes22]

Hey guys one more thing about girls w/ BF's that want to be stolen. I could be wrong and surely it doesn't apply to all girls but they will refer to him as "boyfriend" when she is around you. Suppose her BF's name is Rex. you will hardly hear her mention him by his name, instead she'll say "my boyfriend" I think this has to happen consistently though. I know I've experienced this, hope it helps.

 

[JJMcLure]

Pook's advice here is pure gold - I'd back what he says 100%. It's on the money.

 

[JJMcLure]

Pook's advice here is pure gold - I'd back what he says 100%. It's on the money.

 

[Survivor]

Boyfriend or no boyfriend, wouldn't it solve alot of problems to simply request the home phone number?

Reading her behavior is warranted but don't overdo it. Stop trying to overanalyze things and go for the digits.

 

[disciple]

Pook's answer was on the money.

 

[Hawke]

I've always wondered what it means when a girl doesn't mention a guy that she is into, or even dating. I'm talking here about situations where she is with a friend, and yet doesn't mention details about the guy. Almost acting as if he doesn't exist.

I've only ever seen this happen once with a couple of my friends, both were close, and yet she never said to him about the guy she was seeing. Always seemed weird.