Does NOT pursuing women ever work?

[SeeThruIt]

Anyone get into Brent Smith's stuff? Seen a few YouTube videos and he talks extensively about never pursuing.

Says to give your number and have women do all the chasing and to never ever reach out first.

He claims it's the best way to never feel rejected and stand out from the crowd, but wouldn't never reaching out mean you'll never have a date? I find women are conditioned to be sought after not vice versa.

 

[HenryFromNH]

I don't know about the whole NOT CHASING the woman thing. I pursued my current love and overcame several rejections of offering to take her out before she caved. We LOL about it to this day.

Also, women are not all cut from the same cloth, neither are men, for someone to write a so called "manual" is silly in my eyes. Some want to peruse, others prefer to pursue.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Getting rejected is just part of life. Its not limited to women. It extends to friends, jobs, careers, and all areas of life. Trying to go through life without getting rejected is for weak faggots.

The more you risk rejection the stronger you become.

Rather than trying to avoid rejection.. a man should instead try to avoid barking up the wrong tree --> AKA chasing women with LOW INTEREST.

The best way to avoid chasing women with low interest is by only doing things on YOUR terms. If you have to submit to a woman you have no leverage.

The best way to get leverage is to spin plates. When you have no plates and you want women to chase you.. its best to be BOLD to get her attention.. then ignore her a little. For instance.. flirt and touch a girl a lot. Tell her how fun and awesome he is. Then ignore her for a week while you game another women. When you return her ego will be weakened and she will be more submissive.. even if her interest wasn't that high. This is especially true for younger women.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Yeah dude. I can see where that guy, Brent Smith whoever he is, may be going with it. It's kind of a pseudo NC, soft version. But like SamSpade mentioned, unless she's got an immediate strong attraction to you, then usually you're going to have to put in some work...at the beginning at least. Most of the time you'll have to take the lead, and build on the initial attraction. I can see this theory working once you get her hooked, and you have a few (plates). Then you can just sit back and let them come to you.

Otherwise, if she's really into you right off the bat, and she's the aggressive type, then yeah it works.

agressive type<-----but, is this what you want?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I would doubt it since the vast majority of women are passive around even men they are attracted to

 

[switch]

dude, wtf? is this a troll?

this is like sitting on your ass all day eating burritos and then expecting to be picked for the Superbowl. thats not fvcking happening.

 

[SeeThruIt]

Here's one of his videos, he had a lot more but has seemed to take them down, this video is one from many of the series he called "How to avoid being a creepy pursuer of women" but he deleted most of them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mMCJBtZdYA

 

[Bokanovsky]

Ive never had a woman call me after I gave her my #.

In what context was your phone number given to those girls? Did you ask them for theirs and they said no, give me yours instead? If that's the case, then yeah, it's not happening. Her asking for your number is just a way of blowing you off. But if a girl actually hits on you first and asks for a phone number, chances are she will call. Had that happen a number of times.

 

[Jitterbug]

I've given my number out to many girls telling them I'll be doing X or at Y venue (after selling them the idea that it'll be heaps of fun), here's my number, contact me if you want to join.

100% success rate with foreign girls from Europe or Asia. They always contact me, and most of them show up first time, the rest can't make it then but will meet up next time.

0% success rate with local Aussie girls or North American girls. Most would contact me but then flake, and flake, and go radio silence.

The European and Asian girls tend to be more feminine and somewhat traditional, the Aussie and American girls are the hipster or strong-independent-intelligent gender equality or Churchian save-the-world feminist type (i.e every type of urban girls you'll ever meet in a SWPL city).

Make of that what you will. I haven't figured that out yet.

To be fair, the latter also flake on me way more if I ask for their numbers. The flake rate is only manageable if they actively give me their numbers without me asking or hinting, and ask me to call. With the foreign girls, they very rarely flake completely regardless of whether I ask for their numbers or give them mine, BUT they never just give me their numbers without me asking.

Edit: this is not about fear of rejection or lack of. I just want to be able to go to my fun activities and enjoy them, and not waste too much time chasing up chicks via TXT or phone calls prior to that.

 

[synergy1]

Not pursing women here is a way to ensure you will never get laid again. You have to put some level of effort into it or women here will follow the next shiny thing. Its a different game elsewhere for sure where there are plentiful options to be had and women actually have to work to get a good guy. While it probably works for this guy ( who does do initial approaches and builds value), one has to do SOMETHING to get a women.

This guys approach is to genuinely not need anything from said women. In fact his life is to enhance peoples value and not require conditions of his interactions with people and that includes women. At least this is what I saw when I watched some videos.

 

[Tictac]

I don't pursue. Yes I have a profile on two date sites and I look at profiles. And yes, I am 6'4" tall and look decent.

But I let women come to me. Many, want nothing to do with and so ignore or block. But the numbers of women That initiate with me is great. And. I go out a lot, get laid a lot, have women in a queue after we go out and on and on.

Is it problem free? No. But it is very good.

If a woman indicates interest and I am interested, you start a conversation. If the conversation goes well, I put my number in one of my messages.

From there, women can pretend all they like that 'it just happened'. I've never yet met a woman that wasn't into that.

 

[Colossus]

Not pursing women here is a way to ensure you will never get laid again.

That's a fact.

I didn't watch the videos and I don't need to to tell you that relying on the strategy of NOT pursuing will only work if you have unusually high sexual market value.

And I'm speaking as a guy who has been asked out by a fair number of women---if I relied on that, I would rarely get laid and it wouldn't be with the ones I really wanted. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've been asked out by a true 8. There are LOTS of girls who will never approach you no matter how attracted to you they are.

It goes back to my dating tenet of accurately appraising your own SMV and not shooting too high or too low. Low hanging fruit is easy to get but not satisfying. The highest value girls (relative to you) are not always a good choice either, because of the amount of investment involved on your part and her high flight risk.

All that said, my current girlfriend "approached" me. I just wouldn't rely on it. You have to take risks, or you'll just be an underachieving pvssy.

 

[webplanet12345]

Hmmm lovely share...

 

[Brosy]

Well the logic stands up for me, giving her your number (which IS reaching out first) is an un-mistakable sign of intent. If she bites, what else do you really need to do after that point apart from avoid trying too hard and f!*king it up?

 

[switch]

:crackup: A lot of dudes in this thread are in straight denial. Women stay choosing these days.

Brent got it right, women who want you will contact you. Ain't no way around it. You think if Joe Dimaggo, George Clooney, Edris Elba etc gave out they number to a woman she just going sit there hoping he calls her instead, **** NO! Basically think of women as a company you work for. Women who want you will reach out to you just like an company will if your the right one for the job.

I kinda feel sorry for all you men constantly chasing after women putting on a show just to get a number then setting up these phony dates you don't even want to attend in the first place trying to sale yourself to some beyotch who's keeping her eyes wide open for the next bigger and better thing. Is it really worth it?

Fact, majority of men who feel burned in an relationship or marriage actually pursued the woman.

i hereby elect you as the ultimate KJ. may virginity light your path , celibacy shine upon you ,and may jesus keep your right hand healthy
( cuz you gona need it for a VERY long time)

by the way use hand moisturizer, since calluses will damage your foreskin. :cheer:

 

[origin138]

Speaking from personal experience, I tend to not pursue cold very often. I'll usually ask a woman out in the first conversation if we connected. Otherwise I just leave it alone simply because I've got a busy agenda. I know my strengths, and cold approaching is very unnatural to me.

I have been involved with several women who approached me, and most ended badly.

A woman drawn to a man who is playing hard to get probably grew up with emotionally unavailable parents. What does this mean? Your unavailability/aloofness will light her attraction triggers and she'll pursue, but the second you move in and she senses she has you, she'll back off and the push-pull crap starts. It's basic psychology.

Healthy connections involve some pursuing on a quid-pro-quo basis. Can you increase your number of lays by pursuing constantly? You bet. But if you want something for more than a lay, 1 for 1 when it comes to pursuing is the best bet IMHO.

Risking turning this into a Loveshack post, I'll stop here.

 

[VladPatton]

Don't chase as much but show interest.