Does "No Contact" really work?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...So we start watching a movie and then she starts talking about her ex husband. Then she shows me her myspace page and she still has pictures of her ex husband on there and I swear he looks like me. Then she starts how all men are liars and cheaters.....

Here's the sign...

:nono:
​

You know the words.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Here's the sign...

:nono:
​

You know the words.

Yeah... she needs a rebound guy and it isn't going to be me.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo My Name is Nobody,


No need to continue to beat yourself up over this, man----because I see you NOW realize what the real deal IS with this girl. But the thing is, now that you KNOW, commit to NEVER again making the same mistakes with THIS girl------or any other girl in the future.

You've been given a lot of good advice here, and I'll just add to it by saying three things that if you CHOOSE to remember them, will help you protect your heart and your self-esteem in the future:

1. Women who are INTO you, don't CONFUSE you. All the "covert" or "subtle" bullshyt that passes for SOME female behavior spills over into total CLARITY when they really LIKE you. Why? Because they have NO desire to do anything that may cause them to lose you.

2. Whenever you find yourself spending up to 5 minutes trying to "figure out" what a woman is thinking-----KNOW that you've just spent 4 minutes TOO LONG. Again, women who are into you, DON'T confuse you.

And

3. Any relationship is JUST that: A relay. There's ALWAYS mutual give and take, back and forth displays of reciprocity between the two. And that giving and taking is NOT something driven by pressure, but rather inspired by DESIRE. So, a good rule of thumb to live by is:

NEVER try to keep somebody who ain't tryin' to keep YOU!

Because as has been stated by the men here earlier, ALL that can come from such a lopsided "relationship" is a situation where you have given all your power to the other person. And once that happens, you will FOREVER be at the mercy of whether or not she feels like being a kind and gentle master------or a a rough and brutal one.


Keep your head up and march on, my friend.

Because I'm SURE that more battles, and better yet------"BIGGER VICTORIES" await you...

 

[Interceptor]

Ask yourself is that "golden" pvssy really worth your self respect and dignity?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...1. Women who are INTO you, don't CONFUSE you. All the "covert" or "subtle" bullshyt that passes for SOME female behavior spills over into into total CLARITY when they really LIKE you. Why? Because they have NO desire to do anything that may cause them to lose you...

:yes: So very true.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Thanks for the post you guys are likely right. On the other hand there has to be a good reason her husband left her after just a few years. No kids.

She still has her ex husband all over her myspace and her computer. And after she was done showing me that she flipped. This all happened at 5 in the morning guys when she threw me out. I mean she was MAD and I didn't do anything to her. She slammed the door in my face knowing I was drunk and I couldn't drive. Then turned off her phone. Crazy. She was fine until that point I was sure I was about to get laid! We were kissing laughing and talking all night.

It was her ex triggering all that anger and I look just like him I swear to you.

I'm going to have to go with she's a psycho on this one guys. It was just unreal. I wouldn't be surprised if she is on some serious medication and come to think of it she did say she has depression and has seen a doctor.

Now I get to see her at work tomorrow! Oh well it will make the day more interesting. Should I just act like nothing happened?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Now I get to see her at work tomorrow! Oh well it will make the day more interesting. Should I just act like nothing happened?

And you would want to bring it up at your place of work because???

 

[My Name is Nobody]

And you would want to bring it up at your place of work because???

I try not to even talk to her at work unless it's business related. But I run into her in the hall or break room all the time so it might be a little awkward.

 

[Mr. Me]

I hate to say it but MR. ME looks right on the money.

Hey! Whadd'ya mean "hate to say it"????

she shows me her myspace page and she still has pictures of her ex husband on there. Then she points out her "male" myspace friends like I care as if she wants to make me jealous. Then she starts how all men are liars and cheaters.

Hmmm, ya think she has some anger issues toward men maybe?

And mentioning other guys that she collects in front of you, including her ex who dumped her... that's disrespect to you. She doesn't think a lot of you, but you should get that already. Then she throws you out - more anger. Given she was drunk, but she's a mean drunk... because she's got anger issues.

I try not to even talk to her at work unless it's business related. But I run into her in the hall or breakroom all the time. So when I bump into her I'll just be like "how's it going" and that's it?

That's it. Without an attitude, no ruffled feathers, keep a smile on, as if nothing happened. You never let them see they got to you, okay? But no hanging around to chit chat with her, keep moving. You're only saying "how's it going" to appear civil and smooth, not to open a convo. It's done. You don't want to have anything to do with her (but don't tell her that). So, in the event she says, "let's get together", you might say, "sure. I'll call you!" and then just never do. Can you do all that?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Ask yourself is that "golden" pvssy really worth your self respect and dignity?

To be honest I asked for this. She warned me several times about "not being ready" and by trying to cancel the date was another warning but I persisted. I'm a stubborn b@stard and I paid for it last night. I guess she has to go "rebound" with someone else and I'll go try and spin other plates and maybe she'll be back. I have a feeling this isn't the end believe it or not. I can't believe I am saying that. On second thought this REALLY needs to be the end.

I want more of this abuse it's like a beaten wife staying with her husband. I feel like my interest level has gone up. More than my interest was when we were hooking up. What the hell is wrong with me? I just want something I can't have I guess. Maybe I should speak to a shrink.

 

[Interceptor]

It's only awkward if YOU make it awkward.
Let her be the socially inept one.
You be James fvcking Bond, man..

Do your thing.

 

[Mr. Me]

She warned me several times about "not being ready" and by trying to cancel the date was another warning but I persisted.

"Not being ready", "Hurt from my last relationship", all that... that's bull. That's woman speak for "not that into you". Hey, if Brad Pitt called her today, she'd be ready for a relationship. She means she's not ready for anything... with you.

So, seeing how she's been doing nothing but being not that into you: LJBF, not accepting your invites, canceling dates, making up bogus excuses to cancel dates, flip-flopping, saying she's not ready, telling you about other guys, throwing you out... this is what Victory Unlimited was talking about. If they really like you, they don't do these things.

So, yeah, your interest gets hiked up a bit when they are difficult. Ain't psychology interesting? But realize that's what's causing it, so maybe it's that your male ego sees this as losing, and that's why you're being stubborn?

So realize how this works on you and then you have more control over it.

I have a feeling this isn't the end... maybe she'll be back. believe it or not. I can't believe I am saying this.

It ends when you want it to. I get the feeling you inwardly want this to continue.

 

[Metro3pilot]

It ends when you want it to. I get the feeling you inwardly want this to continue

I get that feeling as well, and I have been there ...save yourself the trouble

:rockon:

 

[My Name is Nobody]

"Not being ready", "Hurt from my last relationship", all that... that's bull. That's woman speak for "not that into you". Hey, if Brad Pitt called her today, she'd be ready for a relationship. She means she's not ready for anything... with you.

So, seeing how she's been doing nothing but being not that into you: LJBF, not accepting your invites, canceling dates, making up bogus excuses to cancel dates, flip-flopping, saying she's not ready, telling you about other guys, throwing you out... this is what Victory Unlimited was talking about. If they really like you, they don't do these things.

The thing that kills me is I had her interest level through the roof then I was an idiot and smoked weed in front of her. Then my ex stalked us and got in her face because I couldn't control my ex she was controlling me. After those two incidents is when everything fell apart. Now I'm trying to make up for it and it's not working. I just want it to be like it was at the beginning but it will never happen. I tried explaining this to her but the damage is done. She saw my ex and how hurt she was and I think she believes I am a jerk player who will break her heart again.. and it's probably true. But the bottom line is I never lied to her or hurt her directly so I don't feel bad about that.


The weed being the deal breaker according to her but I have since quit smoking and the ex is gone forever but I can't pick the pieces back up. If I didn't smoke that night I wonder what would be happening right now. Ofcourse some other issue would have likely come up to make her psycho.

With all that said maybe she NEEDS an AFC right now to use up and abuse.. it makes sense.

See it's complicated. Holy crap I've got some drama in my life.
It never used to be this way.

 

[Creative]

I want more of this abuse it's like a beaten wife staying with her husband. I feel like my interest level has gone up. More than my interest was when we were hooking up. What the hell is wrong with me? I just want something I can't have I guess. Maybe I should speak to a shrink.

I feel the same way sometimes.. My interest level did go up when this chick treated me like crap. I don't think nothing is wrong with you. I thought something was wrong with me too. Not exactly sure why it works. I came up with the same conclusion as you, I just want something I can't have I guess.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I try not to even talk to her at work unless it's business related. But I run into her in the hall or break room all the time so it might be a little awkward.

It will only feel awkward if you care. If you're really going to next her, NEXT her; COMPLETELY!

 

[My Name is Nobody]

It's impossible to "next her completely" before I hook up with another woman. Until that happens she could call me tomorrow and I'd pretty much see what's up. Sad but true. I left a few things at her place like movies and a beer keg I wonder if I'll get them back?

I'm going to sarge more starting tomorrow if I see any opportunities. This is going to motivate me it could be good. Because I do NOT want to be thinking about this woman any more. She is bringing my mood down big time it's not supposed to be like this. And she enjoys it she enjoys inflicting pain on me I can tell.

I am expecting an apology for her behavior it was completely unacceptable. I am going to shoot her an email and let her know it was unacceptable and I don't tolerate that type of behavior. And tell her to leave me alone unless she wants to make it up to me.

What do you think?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It's impossible to "next her completely" before I hook up with another woman. Until that happens she could call me tomorrow and I'd pretty much see what's up. Sad but true. I left a few things at her place like movies and a beer keg I wonder if I'll get them back?

:nono:

I'm going to sarge more starting tomorrow if I see any opportunities. This is going to motivate me it could be good. Because I do NOT want to be thinking about this woman any more. She is bringing my mood down big time it's not supposed to be like this.

And she enjoys it she enjoys inflicting pain on me I can tell.

I am expecting an apology for her behavior it was completely unacceptable. I am going to shoot her an email and let her know it was unacceptable and I don't tolerate that type of behavior. And tell her to leave me alone unless she wants to make it up to me.

What do you think?

This is a good example of spinning your tires in the mud.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

This is a good example of spinning your tires in the mud.

Is no woman at all better than dealing with this woman? I sent the email that's the last she will hear from me I'm just trying to push her buttons see if she replies at all.

I no longer see this woman as a possible girlfriend but if she had me over on new years eve french kissing when the ball dropped there still has to be a chance to have some sex.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Is no woman at all better than dealing with this woman? I sent the email that's the last she will hear from me I'm just trying to push her buttons see if she replies at all...

Whoa, you were right about not being able to next her.