Does making your intentions with a girl you have been in communication with "needy" behavior

[dude99]

I got a newsletter from SoSuave and it talks about Confident Persistence. I am meeting new girls here and there (so I am not focusing on this one) yet I also want this one to reach out to me sometime soon without me doing anything--and I worry she might get another guy. What makes things pretty damn interesting about this situation is that we met before she joined a sorority (at that time I was already affiliated with a fraternity on my campus) and now the organization that she is in works very close with mine therefore I have a higher chance of seeing her whenever we do joint events--we are asking her sorority to homecoming. Thus, I naturally know who she knows because I am pretty close with those girls, only thing is since she is significantly older than the girls (24) she isn't really involved with her organization since she gets pretty busy with school, work and family (I don't know if this bit of information helps but the more information the better in my opinion) she also seems a bit depressed when the talk of relationships come about because she tells me that "she isn't very lucky with guys in her past" she has been either played or cheated on this makes me feel like she is an emotional wreck and needs time to heal (hence why I sent you an article about Confident Persistence and why I worry that she won't hit me up FIRST because she simply fears that I might be like those other dudes)

Here is the article on Confident Persistence
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/persistence.htm

Yes the article is a good article and confident persistence is good if the girl is interested.

Lets look at her actions.

1. She doesn't want to have sex with you. She weeded you out with her whopper of a lie " i don't want to see guys who only want to use me for s3x." Translation. " i won't have sex with you. Not now. Not ever."

2. Whopper number 2. " i don't want you to get attached/feelings/get hurt. I don't have time for a relationship." Translation. " i won't date you. Not now. Not ever."

I could go on but why?

Confident persistance is good when you get results. Confident persistance works when your girl has interest.

Now take a step back and look at your situation. Would confident persistence work on a girl who has already made it clear she won't date or have sex with you?

Withdraw all attention.

 

[ArmyStrong90]

Yes the article is a good article and confident persistence is good if the girl is interested.

Lets look at her actions.

1. She doesn't want to have sex with you. She weeded you out with her whopper of a lie " i don't want to see guys who only want to use me for s3x." Translation. " i won't have sex with you. Not now. Not ever."

2. Whopper number 2. " i don't want you to get attached/feelings/get hurt. I don't have time for a relationship." Translation. " i won't date you. Not now. Not ever."

I could go on but why?

Confident persistance is good when you get results. Confident persistance works when your girl has interest.

Now take a step back and look at your situation. Would confident persistence work on a girl who has already made it clear she won't date or have sex with you?

Withdraw all attention.

My point of withdrawing all attention is to get her curious as to why I am no longer talking to her (bait her into trying to hit me up again) do you think that will do anything

 

[dude99]

My point of withdrawing all attention is to get her curious as to why I am no longer talking to her (bait her into trying to hit me up again) do you think that will do anything

as i have stated over and over.....if she cares yes. If she doesn't then no.

But warning..... she will hit you up. Sucker you back in and the remind you, you are in the friend zone.

I ignore her hitting you up and go date other women.

Please answer one question for me. Why waste so much time on a complete waste of time.

 

[Igetit!]

"YOU should be flirting with her
YOU should be showing interest
YOU should be telling her how good she looks in an outfit

QUESTION: Have you EVER shown any sexual interest in her? I said SEXUAL.....said nothing about relationships,commitment,or exclusivity. Do you turn her on? Does she get dreamy or bedroom eyes when she looks at you at times?"



I did all of that though, I have complimented her on **** other than looks (personality etc) we have gone out only thing is I HAVE NEVER GOT ANY SEXUAL SIGNS FROM HER

OK. So you did all the above,but never got any sexual signs from her. Well if you showed interest,but she didn't show interest back,here's a suggestion....

MOVE ON. GO DATE SOMEBODY ELSE.

(at one point after I haven't seen her in awhile, I contact her mid October and she was very receptive via text message and body language but at that time there was another man in the picture I did not know about)

So in mid-October she "seemed" receptive,but there was another guy in the picture. Huh.

So she had two guys on hand.....one who she was getting her "freak on" with,and the other guy,you. So she was having sex (most likely) with the one guy,while you were waiting,being patient,and giving her "time to recover" from her past hurt and guys using her for sex.

I occasionally see her now only because I don't want to constantly hit her up because she is going to see me as desperate.

Well it's too late for that. You failed the desperate test when you asked for exclusivity. You don't ask to be exclusive with a chick you're not dating or having sex with. In fact,as the man,you shouldn't even be asking for it AT ALL....that's the girl's job.

Yours is just to get after that azz.

Also, I NEVER bring up past relationships with her she does and continues to go on a rant.

It DOESN'T MATTER. Doesn't matter who brought it up...if you participated in it,you're just as guilty. You should acknowledge it,then CHANGE THE SUBJECT.....direct the convo to the two of YOU.

All you're displaying is a WEAK frame if she dominates the conversations and you only discuss what SHE wants.

What kills me about this whole predicament is how I was WAYYY to caught up in the moment with her that I was not being "tactful" I have hooked up with girls and dated a few and what sucks even more is how I KNEW that what I was doing at the moment with her was wrong and I STILL DID IT.

Well......I think we've all been guilty of this from time to time,I know I have.

This is why I am trying to correct my wrong and find any means to re-ignite that attraction I know it will be hard but at the same time I don't want to put my OWN dignity on the line for her.

Well.......you can try no contact. Don't see how it's applicable here if you two constantly call or text each other,though. I mean you can't just turn your phone off and start ignoring her,that won't work...that'd likely hurt more than help.


The info in my signature.......I generally advise it in reguards to flaking,not this type of mess you've gotten into. It MIGHT work....but the problem is,YOU have to be different. See,even if you were to do no contact,when contact is re-established,you have to be somewhat different than you were before the NC started. You'd have to be more sexual (not vulgar) to generate a spark in her.

Your problem is,you have all that back baggage,a history of mistakes. It's not like going no contact will make your exclusivity request just fade out of her mind. Plus,it'd take time.


I think you should just learn what you did wrong here so you won't make the same mistake with the next girl,then move on.

 

[ArmyStrong90]

as i have stated over and over.....if she cares yes. If she doesn't then no.

But warning..... she will hit you up. Sucker you back in and the remind you, you are in the friend zone.

I ignore her hitting you up and go date other women.

Please answer one question for me. Why waste so much time on a complete waste of time.

I want her man and I started grow interest in her plain and simple. I hate to lose and its really my ego that is keeping me go at it. Now the hardest part is when her sorority and mine do an event together she will be there and instead of making things awkward, do you think I should at least acknowledge her and continue to move on?

 

[dude99]

I want her man and I started grow interest in her plain and simple. I hate to lose and its really my ego that is keeping me go at it. Now the hardest part is when her sorority and mine do an event together she will be there and instead of making things awkward, do you think I should at least acknowledge her and continue to move on?

Dude. Your ego i doing nothing except humiliating you. Check that ego of yours. Reality is telling you go to spin plates. This chick is giving you nothing.

Who cares if her group and your group are side by side for the next 6 months. Go spin plates.

This chick is not interested. That means zero return on investment. Leave her alone. Next her. Date other women. No contact. Move on. Do not contact. Do not call. Do not text. Do not email. Do not send carrier pigeons.

NEXT.

 

[ArmyStrong90]

OK. So you did all the above,but never got any sexual signs from her. Well if you showed interest,but she didn't show interest back,here's a suggestion....

MOVE ON. GO DATE SOMEBODY ELSE.





So in mid-October she "seemed" receptive,but there was another guy in the picture. Huh.

So she had two guys on hand.....one who she was getting her "freak on" with,and the other guy,you. So she was having sex (most likely) with the one guy,while you were waiting,being patient,and giving her "time to recover" from her past hurt and guys using her for sex.

Well it's too late for that. You failed the desperate test when you asked for exclusivity. You don't ask to be exclusive with a chick you're not dating or having sex with. In fact,as the man,you shouldn't even be asking for it AT ALL....that's the girl's job.

Yours is just to get after that azz.




It DOESN'T MATTER. Doesn't matter who brought it up...if you participated in it,you're just as guilty. You should acknowledge it,then CHANGE THE SUBJECT.....direct the convo to the two of YOU.

All you're displaying is a WEAK frame if she dominates the conversations and you only discuss what SHE wants.




Well......I think we've all been guilty of this from time to time,I know I have.





Well.......you can try no contact. Don't see how it's applicable here if you two constantly call or text each other,though. I mean you can't just turn your phone off and start ignoring her,that won't work...that'd likely hurt more than help.


The info in my signature.......I generally advise it in reguards to flaking,not this type of mess you've gotten into. It MIGHT work....but the problem is,YOU have to be different. See,even if you were to do no contact,when contact is re-established,you have to be somewhat different than you were before the NC started. You'd have to be more sexual (not vulgar) to generate a spark in her.

Your problem is,you have all that back baggage,a history of mistakes. It's not like going no contact will make your exclusivity request just fade out of her mind. Plus,it'd take time.


I think you should just learn what you did wrong here so you won't make the same mistake with the next girl,then move on.

That's for damn sure, again though, I never VERBALLY stated that I wanted exclusivity. I assumed that that is what she wanted since I made this INTERNAL judgement that because she is 24 she is tired of games etc. and would want something serious and get her life rolling she actually WANTS a relationship

 

[MrWood]

go NC
if she texts, dont reply
if she calls, dont answer
if you see her, and asks why you dont reply...

"do you want to fvck, or b1tch about your puzzy?... cuz Im a man and I fvck puzzy, not listen to it"