Does game produce difficulties?
- Thread starter Plateonics
- Start date
Aaron: this is really difficult to argue against, because I know what you mean. It all ties into the nature of attraction, and it not making any logical sense whatsoever. People love what they hate, and cant have - because, the more it bothers them - the more it intrigues them. Its just the way it is.
So, while a girl is SAYING that she hates x and y, she's responding favorably to it. At the same time.
I guess part of having game IS being a jerk, but not in terms of motivation and intention, or how he treats the other person. The jerk is selfish, manipulative, abusive, and simply doesn't care. That's why he acts this way. He never gives or comes around. He also emotionally unstable. But the guy with game is attracting her with good intentions. Basically, having jerk-like traits. He has to do it, and become somewhat of a jerk in the process. There's no real way around it. I wouldn't consider him an actual jerk, though.
So, while a girl is SAYING that she hates x and y, she's responding favorably to it. At the same time.
I guess part of having game IS being a jerk, but not in terms of motivation and intention, or how he treats the other person. The jerk is selfish, manipulative, abusive, and simply doesn't care. That's why he acts this way. He never gives or comes around. He also emotionally unstable. But the guy with game is attracting her with good intentions. Basically, having jerk-like traits. He has to do it, and become somewhat of a jerk in the process. There's no real way around it. I wouldn't consider him an actual jerk, though.
floyd: exactly
by being a strong leader and not giving in to social pressure to be the proto-typical nice guy who lets her run the show, i sometimes engage in behaviors that some people consider consistent with someone who is considered a jerk
for example, my wife treated me disrespectfully in front of our friends. i communicated to her very sternly, directly, and passionately that this behavior will not be tolerated, that i'm the boss, that its been that way with us from day one and its not going to change now, and that if she wants something different she is free to go find some other guy and i'll be bossing some other chick around instead of her. it works for me because she knows from experience that i'm not bluffing and she doesn't want to lose me. and since i'm a strong-willed person who would prefer to stay with her, i'll move on when the relationship ends (and in fact i expect that it will one day end because i am a realist not an idealist). many people consider that behavior over-the-top, abusive, and me being a jerk. screw those people, i don't live my life for them
but when you weigh all of my interactions and behaviors and positive attributes and what i bring to the relationship the only conclusion you can reach is that i am not a jerk
people try to oversimplify and put everything into a neat little box, but real life simply doesn't work that way
i'd say most of this comes back to our internal beliefs and social conditioning that women are weak, pathetic, childlike creatures who are so fragile that they have to be coddled at all times or they will break
that's nonsense of course. its not my job to protect her from herself (and its arrogant, insulting, and demeaning for me to assume that i'm either capable of it or that she needs me to do it for her). when she indicates that she prefers being treated harshly to being treated nicely, i accept it without allowing my idealism to get involved. my opinion of what she responds to simply isn't relevant. i want regular sex and the pleasure of her company with a minimum of hassle and silliness so i do what's necessary as the leader to achieve my goals. nothing more nothing less.
by being a strong leader and not giving in to social pressure to be the proto-typical nice guy who lets her run the show, i sometimes engage in behaviors that some people consider consistent with someone who is considered a jerk
for example, my wife treated me disrespectfully in front of our friends. i communicated to her very sternly, directly, and passionately that this behavior will not be tolerated, that i'm the boss, that its been that way with us from day one and its not going to change now, and that if she wants something different she is free to go find some other guy and i'll be bossing some other chick around instead of her. it works for me because she knows from experience that i'm not bluffing and she doesn't want to lose me. and since i'm a strong-willed person who would prefer to stay with her, i'll move on when the relationship ends (and in fact i expect that it will one day end because i am a realist not an idealist). many people consider that behavior over-the-top, abusive, and me being a jerk. screw those people, i don't live my life for them
but when you weigh all of my interactions and behaviors and positive attributes and what i bring to the relationship the only conclusion you can reach is that i am not a jerk
people try to oversimplify and put everything into a neat little box, but real life simply doesn't work that way
i'd say most of this comes back to our internal beliefs and social conditioning that women are weak, pathetic, childlike creatures who are so fragile that they have to be coddled at all times or they will break
that's nonsense of course. its not my job to protect her from herself (and its arrogant, insulting, and demeaning for me to assume that i'm either capable of it or that she needs me to do it for her). when she indicates that she prefers being treated harshly to being treated nicely, i accept it without allowing my idealism to get involved. my opinion of what she responds to simply isn't relevant. i want regular sex and the pleasure of her company with a minimum of hassle and silliness so i do what's necessary as the leader to achieve my goals. nothing more nothing less.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,086
- Reaction score
- 8,944
Actually, it sounds like we have a very similar view.Danger said:
I don't like lying myself, to me it just sounds like a drain of energy.
I know people who are habitual liars, and it must be exhausting living their lives that way - trying to keep their stories straight, and telling more lies to cover other ones.
But when it comes to DHV stories, the point is to make yourself look good, it isn't really considered important whether the stories are true or not. That's up to the individual. Or so it is viewed by the mainstream community.
The "Did you see those two girls fighting outside?" question is a Mystery Method opener. It is a deliberate lie to get the girl's attention because there wasn't really any girl fight going on. So there are aspects of game that involve lying, although I definitely don't think you are required to lie. But like I said, I definitely know guys who have had (short term) success with lying.