Does being quiet or shy project as having no "game"?

[El Don]

I got dissed by this girl at work. I am not trying to get with her or anything because she is ugly and she is black, which I am not normally attracted to that type and she has a kind of ghetto attitude. Anyway my friend does pretty good with girls and is funny and overall just has pretty good game. We were talking after we closed waiting to leave and he was telling me all these things about picking up girls and things he looks for. The girl was listening and she was of course disagreeing. She talked about how she knows the game and shes learned her lesson before and that I shouldnt listen to what my friend said and told me "Dont listen to anything he says because I can tell your an amateur"...ouch that hit me hard.

I am normally just a quiet laid back guy so I dont really talk alot. I never even tried to get at her so its not like I was trying to game her or anything. I honestly have no idea how girls can just tell that you are single or know you dont know much about the game, especially if I barely ever talk to her. Only thing I can come up with is because I am quiet sometimes. Either way its frustrating to hear something like that. Im not going to lie, that killed my self confidence alot and now I keep hearing that in my head over and over. I need to do somethin fast. Any advice would help. Thanks

 

[Quiksilver]

Soundz like a test.

It's beneficial to be a quiet person sometimes, but you have to prove you arent a puss. By rising to the occasion when you need to, you can still project self-confidence. In your case, you let her verbally slap you in the face. Hear me?

If you DID have high self-confidence--which i don't think you do--you'd not have taken her b.s.

In a situation like that I might have said sometin like "hey, get yo ghetto booty outta here, cant u read the sign, no prossies allowed."

If you tell them a statement about themselves that 'feels' true to them, it usually shuts them up. Get what i'm sayin? Just like her comment at you mentally shut you up.

 

[comote]

Anyone can have game, even quiet guys, even shy guys. People in general have this image of what they think "game" should be. But in reality you should never change your personality to suit your game . . .your game should be an extension of your personality and only needs to be able to attract the type of women you are interested in. Your "game", no matter how good it gets, will never attract her, because you will never care if it does.

A girl that is interested in you will always believe that you can have any girl you are attracted to, because your game is the idealization of what she is looking for.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

It's beneficial to be a quiet person sometimes,

Too few ocassions when it actually is.

Here's a places/ocassions:

1. Funeral
2. Court (if you're the one being questioned)
3. When busted by the cops and they say "anything you say and do will be used..."


Otherwise... not really. Better to be a little more talkative than not.

 

[Distant Light]

I am normally just a quiet laid back guy so I dont really talk alot.

I honestly have no idea how girls can just tell that you are single or know you dont know much about the game, especially if I barely ever talk to her.

Women can pickup on your subtle behavior, I assume you have bad eyecontact and plus adding the quiet guy role tells you don't get laid. People who are social and get laid usually are smiling, having fun, solid EC and voice tonality. Its like a friend of mind you can look and tell 100% that he is a virgin and every girl that have met my social circle can tell he is the virgin out of the bunch. He subcommunicates it in so much ways that I myself can't even tell. His bodylanguage is also very poor.

 

[Hitman10000]

Women can pickup on your subtle behavior, I assume you have bad eyecontact and plus adding the quiet guy role tells you don't get laid. People who are social and get laid usually are smiling, having fun, solid EC and voice tonality. Its like a friend of mind you can look and tell 100% that he is a virgin and every girl that have met my social circle can tell he is the virgin out of the bunch. He subcommunicates it in so much ways that I myself can't even tell. His bodylanguage is also very poor.

Spot on, When I was a virgin, I always wondered how girls or people would pick up on that. Even pretending didn't work, they could see through that sh*t real fast. I think it's because they had a lot of experience dealing with virgins through their middle school/high school.

Anyways, I am a shy/quiet but can get involved in social situations (albeit awkardly) The best thing to do is really be out there and make mistakes if you must, it's better than being all quiet to the point where no one can trust your judgement.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Ive had girls think i didnt have game cause i acted like a goof ball around them cause they were uber tools and i didnt give a fvck; for some reason they were down to get boned by me...imagine that. The quiet/shyness just makes it easier to get away with. They wont suspect that youre gettin with multiple girls.

 

[lildevil]

Don...hear her sh!t ....just laugh.....and let it go over your head...

Remember is just one persons opinion.its not goin to kill you.She is testing you and if you get in an arguement it will prove her point ,that is not the best way to deal with it.



In this situations you should :yes: !"smile"!:yes: like the toothpaste comercials it works like a charm,and whatever she says just let it go over your head just like one of my teachers taught me,because she goes home without having the pleasure of breaking you down. ....and you go home with an ear to ear smile


FYI:she doesn't know the minumum of who you are as a person and most probably she will never know because" im sure" you are not going to "as you will begin to understand only you can say who you are as person not your mom,or your dad or better yet the people that like to judge others "only you".

If your still asking yourself why did she do it...Well just remember this


" US AS HUMAN BEINGS.....WE ARE SELFISH AND WE DONT WANT OTHER INDIVIDUALS TO ACHIEVE MANY THINGS IN LIFE AND WE WILL DO ANYTHING TO STOP THEM "EVEN IF IT TAKES HURTING SOMEONE PHYSICALLY OR WORSE.... "MENTALLY"

 

[everywomanshero]

Dude, take a prozac... it sounds like she was flirting with you. Girls usually are terrified of being seen as easy unless that's part of their identity (even with party chicks it's not unusual to hear "I usually don't do this" or "I havent had sex in 2 years before tonight" LOL which is all, of course, BS).

So often a girl can't just say she likes you. Sometimes they will even approach rudely so that if you disqualify her it won't matter, she wasn't hitting on you anyway. Chicks, esp. hotter ones, sometimes approach with "Hey don't try to hit on my friend" and act mad. Then if you start chatting them up they will grab a seat with you and buy you a beer because "you're cool afterall".. Of course she knew you were or she wouldn't bother to have approached. I wasn't there, but my guess is the chick digs you but isn't taking the risk to say so directly.

Intellegent Black women do want to be respected, of course, and although "ghetto" black women are often forward, other black women may be unusually reserved. Also black women you meet may or not be American raised. I meet many from Kenya in recent years for example in my area. It can be very different depending on nation of being raised. I hope you will treat black women with the same respect you'd want a black man to treat your sister.

 

[Zebedee]

Yes being shy does come accross bad to women. Girls want confident cheeky guys who look like natural leaders. If you do not have any of these qualities fake them, have a few drinks to build up your confidence.

 

[5uave]

First of all, you letting that get to you already says something about you. You proved her point. What you shoulda did was this...(****y smirk)"haha...If you say so..." and walk away.

My advice to you now, is to not do anything. The more you try to change her view the more your gonna make yourself look bad. If you try to debate this with her, you will lose. Look at it this way... If someone comes up to you and your hot friend and he or she says, "wow you guys are a great couple." and your hot friend says "hes not my bf!" What would you say? You would probably say something like this..."Why?! Whats wrong with me? I'm not your type?" ---automatically, you are insecure and you want to be with this girl and she slapped you verbally. What you shoulda said was something that woulda "checked" her back, like this "Oh plz, you would love to be my Girlfriend!" ---can't you see that this displays confidence? So anywayz, don't do anything but live and learn.