Listen, I think you are asking a question out loud with a different question underneath the vail.
"Why am I still so insecure with myself on the inside when I am in very good shape on the outside" is the question I see.
Its an answer that will come from within though, not on a forum.
It is an answer that will come with time. An answer that will continue to change once you find it. An answer that is worth its pursuit.
OK. A little less philosophical now.
You are on the right track to finding yourself and growing stronger inside and out. You will get your dates, woman and fun I promise you. I guarranty it. You have a lot going for you but your lack of patience and envy of others is creating insecurities you probably should have less of.
Have patience and continue to pursue being your own man. And… HAVE PATIENCE! It awaits you in every future moment. Make the best of each one. Even if “she” (them!) does not show up in the next moment, continue doing what you are doing in preparation for when it happens. Also, just a cautionary word about that word patience.
“Patience is POWER.
Patience is not an absence of ACTION;
rather it is "timing"
it waits on the right time to ACT,
in the right principles
and in the right way.”
― Fulton J. Sheen
As you wait, seize each opportunity as well. Forget about the hot girls at work for right now. Talk to EVERY girl you have even 10% interest in. On line at the store…Communicate with the HB behind you and ask her out. At the gym… ask the HB what she is listening too, and build a rapport to ask her out. Etc etc. As you wait, create. Create moments and each rejection and success(not just with a girl) is another brick in the foundation of being the right MAN for each girl that comes along.
A word about the gym and your fitness level.
Forget about the outward looks and benefits of looking fit. Without your fitness regimen you would be 200% worse off. You would be horribly sulkier than you ever imagined you could feel now. Your testosterone level would be lower and there are volumes written on why this is bad for a guy. Your other brain chemicals (serotonin and dopamine) and hormones that regulate happiness to metabolism would be imbalanced. Your sleep would be restless. Your skin, nails, hair, all less healthy looking. Of course we could go on and on.
You can never create a “FRAME” inside of a frameless structure. A frame of mind, spirit and MANliness would never be sturdy in a weak body.
KEEP GOING!!!!
You work out for YOU!
All that aside. An answer directly to your question:
The muscles ABSOLUTLY matter! Everyone notices. Only girls you don’t want are going to date you for the muscles alone, sure. Yet, every girl with even slight interest is going to be MORE interested because you are fit. From the first 5 min you speak to her, till the time you have sex with her. Your physique will matter. Could even be the difference as to whether or not she orgasms with you are not. People don’t like to admit that but lying underneath you her body will tremble all that much more because of your value of health and physique. Its actually less superficial than people think. It is wired in a womans physiology for her body to be more accepting of…you get the picture.
Those woman that date those successful trolls definitely don’t masturbate to stacks of cash. I mean of course that has value too. Sexual value included. I am not debating that. That’s a different topic though. All I am saying is that trust me, those girls wish their BF and husbands looked more like you do.
Muscles matter! Yet, the whole package of where those muscles grew out of matters. Commitment, health, stamina, balance, all matter. Muscles speak to that fact. It is noticed and appreciated both consciously and unconsciously.
KEEP going and be encouraged!
Be patient and encourage others.
Report back when that girl shows up for you and screams and scratches underneath those triceps of yours.::yes:
Again, one of my favorite lines I picked up around here:
“There is victory in knowing she went home with him but was thinking about you”
