I hadn't gamed from last summer to this summer and right now it's been a month. In my 40s, gaming longer than 2-3 hours leaves me feeling very horribly in the face and mind. I just get itchy. It wasn't the case in my teens, early 20s, and mid-to-late 30s. The only time when gaming was "fun" was when I was dominant, so that would be my late teens/early 20s (tons of time wasted but I was poor at $6 - $8/hr back then - could barely afford gas and had to pay tuition 4-year degree, I also played a Lot of basketball after class (not studying one iota all through university but I passed with 3.0 in Finance? - multiple choice Scantron tests are a joke - no wonder women are "degreed" up to their eyeballs today - if I'd put any semblance of effort into my studies I would have been Suma or Magna *** laude, today in life I read what I want so of course it's better than University, but still I devote a lot of my free time to "study" I love it cause money doesn't buy you happiness it just helps you realize what you don't want really what you thought you wanted when you didn't have any) with some AT&T guys on their lunch break and a Janitor(s) in a Baptist church).
So, the ONLY game I've dabbled in since 2017 (after my dad died I bought the game the next month) is Rainbow Six Siege. My dad had introduced me to a free-to-play shooter (never played those in my teens/20s just the strategy game Age of Empires The Conquerors) by Ubisoft in 2013. That game sucked a ton of my time from 2013 - 2016 but it was "fun" cause I became and was a/the top dog. People feared my screen name, hacking accusations, etc. no I just had a kick-as5 PC first time I ever built one + having map knowledge to the hilt and damn good reflexes/eyes/will to destroy. That all made gaming "fun."
From about mid 2005 - 2012 I didn't game at all focusing entirely on revamping/improving my life through extremely hard work and sacrifice, um, tunnel-vision one-track-mind focus on gaining a stable life and future. I kept my 30s mind pure and healthy, going to church weekly - a better attendance than even elders of the church. I attended Everything, even to the point of being out-of-place - no one my age there. I didn't care about embarrassment, and helped with everything needed being done except womanly cooking and stuff. I hit the bars/clubs EVERY weekend too, so perfect attendance there too, and sometimes ran into a "false" church member (thin gal with tat on her neck hidden by hair, another out dancing which is a no-no in the church, but the church looked the other way cause, well, they're decent-looking thin FEMALES so they get a pass, right?) out there too.
I left the church around 2011.
So, Rainbow Six Siege, I'm very mediocre but can do damage in spurts if I ever get settled in playing but because I hardly ever play, it's not "fun," cause I'm not dominant and in order to be "dominant" you've gotta pour in all the hours that all these younger fully-intact-senses guys have, and I know I'll feel like sh!t if I pour in a ton of hours so gaming, for me, is almost history, in my life. I'd play cards with a group in-person.
Gaming is only fun if you are a Feared screen name. I had that feeling IRL of the opposing team being in awe when in baseball as a pitcher growing up. It was a feeling almost mythical or fantasy-world being on top (80 to 85-mph fastball in summer leagues at 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 years old with decent change-ups/curves - some people are just born with an arm or knockout power). I could really throw the pill until I got hurt tearing my right ankle up one cold morning trying to beat out a throw to 1st base.
