Does anyone here actually like "talking" to women?

[englishman]

I know a lot of Japanese and Korean women, and I when I think about it I like talking to them a lot more. A lot of the homegrown women I don't seem to have much to talk to them about. Come to think of it a lot of them get on my nerves, so thank the lord for AZN babes.

 

[3agle 3yes]

If you're trying to have "intellectual" conversations with women you find attractive, you're doing it wrong.

You can have those conversations with friends, not with people you're getting to know for the first time.

One of the most important aspects of talking to a woman is making her laugh.

I try to see everything from the lense of humour, for example if I'm in a club with a girl and there are a couple arguing beside us, I'll provide a running commentary.

Or if I'm about to get a drink from a bar and start a random conversation with a woman behind me, I won't talk about what I find interesting or ask her questions. I would look for the humour angle.

"Hey, can you do me a favour? I'll let you go in front of me if you order my drink for me. All the bartenders are dudes, and they'll give you more attention than they'll give me. I don't usually use women just for their bodies this early on in the relationship, but in this case I'm going to make an exception".

It also helps to have an interesting life or have had a lot of worldly experience, that way you can talk about all the things you've done and even show them pictures (as social proof).

Most women (or people for that matter) don't have interesting lives, so talking about yourself in this instance is an exception.

 

[Urbanyst]

If you're trying to have "intellectual" conversations with women you find attractive, you're doing it wrong.

You can have those conversations with friends, not with people you're getting to know for the first time.

One of the most important aspects of talking to a woman is making her laugh.

I try to see everything from the lense of humour, for example if I'm in a club with a girl and there are a couple arguing beside us, I'll provide a running commentary.

Or if I'm about to get a drink from a bar and start a random conversation with a woman behind me, I won't talk about what I find interesting or ask her questions. I would look for the humour angle.

"Hey, can you do me a favour? I'll let you go in front of me if you order my drink for me. All the bartenders are dudes, and they'll give you more attention than they'll give me. I don't usually use women just for their bodies this early on in the relationship, but in this case I'm going to make an exception".

It also helps to have an interesting life or have had a lot of worldly experience, that way you can talk about all the things you've done and even show them pictures (as social proof).

Most women (or people for that matter) don't have interesting lives, so talking about yourself in this instance is an exception.

Trying to make a woman laugh is just another way of putting on a desperate clown show. If she wants to laugh, that is what stand up comedy is for.

Sometimes I make women laugh, but not because that was my goal. With new women my main focus is compatibility and natural attraction on both sides. Is she someone I can spend time with and feel relaxed? If not, I would just try to keep it casual just for sex. If she is not up for that, there is nothing left to do.

I think guys need to realize it is not their job to put on a clown show. What guys should be doing is screening and trying to enjoy her company and trying to get her into bed.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

This is so true.

Its really desperate to chase people who don't naturally like you.

Yes, I only go out to the bar once a month or so these days. But when I do, I know within 5 minutes who I am going to bother talking to... and then only if the right conditions arise. You can see it in the the contact and body language. Last time I went out, a cutie gives me a large smile as I walk in.... and I just naturally talk to her for twenty minutes. Another time, I'm leaving, and earlyish, and a real cutie strikes up a conversation with me on the way out. Now I am shortish, greying and pushing 50. I think it seems effortless at times simply because I do not put any effort in. I'm relaxed, comfortable, out with a couple of mates, with a slight grin on my face.

I mention it because only a few years back I was hopeless with women.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

The reason why you need to go after women who are giving you the green light and not yellow or red is because of genetic demographics. Every guy has a demographic of women that are naturally attracted to him. Even big guys. Look at amateur porn and see how many skinny feminine Asian women like to have sex with borderline overweight guys. The beauty of attraction is that the masculine and feminine are polar opposites.

The mistake is that guys self project their own desires on to women. Guys like women who are feminine and pretty, so they turn themselves into feminine prettyboys, thinking this is what women like. I've had so many women tell me they are disgusted by metrosexual males. But guess what though? There are masculine women that love prettyboys!

Do you see where I am getting at? No matter what type of guy you are, you have an entire demographic of women that have been programmed by nature to be naturally attracted to your physical type.

This is why green light game works and is effortless. This is why guys always report back and say "My best relationships started when the woman was already into me. I didn't have to do anything other than be me."

This is why the entire sosuave website preaches pursuing women who have high interest. Nature didn't create accidents. It is not an accident for a woman to be attracted to you. It's in her genetics.

If you didn't have the right genetics to even deserve a demographic of women, you wouldn't even be here. Your lineage would have already been wiped out.

Generally, I think this is right. But there is the odd occasion, where you find yourself cold approach [without the green light] in a kind of automatic mode, where you just respond to a woman you find very attractive. There is no game involved here as it is a natural process.... or perhaps you have sublimated the skills you learnt in game into your wider personality. This kind of 'cold approach' is usually very successful.

 

[Urbanyst]

Yes, I only go out to the bar once a month or so these days. But when I do, I know within 5 minutes who I am going to bother talking to... and then only if the right conditions arise. You can see it in the the contact and body language. Last time I went out, a cutie gives me a large smile as I walk in.... and I just naturally talk to her for twenty minutes. Another time, I'm leaving, and earlyish, and a real cutie strikes up a conversation with me on the way out. Now I am shortish, greying and pushing 50. I think it seems effortless at times simply because I do not put any effort in. I'm relaxed, comfortable, out with a couple of mates, with a slight grin on my face.

I mention it because only a few years back I was hopeless with women.

That's the advantage I think of being older. Women just assume you are higher status, more mature and less desperate than a younger guy. It makes it much easier.

Even in my 30's I'm starting to see a small difference. I still look like I'm in my 20's so a lot of women don't realize I'm older right away. But when they find out its usually a turn on.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

Trying to make a woman laugh is just another way of putting on a desperate clown show. If she wants to laugh, that is what stand up comedy is for.

Sometimes I make women laugh, but not because that was my goal. With new women my main focus is compatibility and natural attraction on both sides. Is she someone I can spend time with and feel relaxed? If not, I would just try to keep it casual just for sex. If she is not up for that, there is nothing left to do.

I think guys need to realize it is not their job to put on a clown show. What guys should be doing is screening and trying to enjoy her company and trying to get her into bed.

I love when woman giggles. From some woman I get a lof of giggles and I play with them to get those giggles becuase I like it not because I am trying hard. They giggle I am having fun and to be frank a bit of validation. I do it for entertainment of both of us not only for her.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

That's the advantage I think of being older. Women just assume you are higher status, more mature and less desperate than a younger guy. It makes it much easier.

Even in my 30's I'm starting to see a small difference. I still look like I'm in my 20's so a lot of women don't realize I'm older right away. But when they find out its usually a turn on.

Can you please elaborate on this more. We are almost same age and age is my number one insecurity. It is always in back of my head and spoiled some of my approaches.

I have created separate thread for this http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/age-insecurity.238863/

 

[devilkingx2]

Not in the least. What in my history of writing here on SS would lead anyone to think I believe in love at first sight?

it was a joke about the part where you said that men should go after women who are receptive from the beginning, you know, like love at first sight from all those crappy chick flicks

 

[3agle 3yes]

Trying to make a woman laugh is just another way of putting on a desperate clown show. If she wants to laugh, that is what stand up comedy is for...I think guys need to realize it is not their job to put on a clown show...

Clearly you misunderstood what I was saying.

The fact that you mention comedy and being a clown is a sign to me that maybe you don't quite understand what's happening at a deeper level when this happens between us and women.

Making a woman laugh in this instance is different to a comedy act. In this instance she is laughing because she's attempting to break the tension between the two of you...not because you're acting goofy.

Think "c0cky comedy", you're being a challenge because you're provocative. You should have the attitude that you control the situation, not her.

No where did I say TRY to make a girl laugh, in fact trying to make a girl is the antithesis to what I'm saying. Because it implies you're trying to make them like you, which in turn is approval seeking.

However, whether a woman is laughing a lot when you're talking with her is a good indicator of her attraction.

 

[Urbanyst]

Clearly you misunderstood what I was saying.

The fact that you mention comedy and being a clown is a sign to me that maybe you don't quite understand what's happening at a deeper level when this happens between us and women.

Making a woman laugh in this instance is different to a comedy act. In this instance she is laughing because she's attempting to break the tension between the two of you...not because you're acting goofy.

Think "c0cky comedy", you're being a challenge because you're provocative. You should have the attitude that you control the situation, not her.

No where did I say TRY to make a girl laugh, in fact trying to make a girl is the antithesis to what I'm saying. Because it implies you're trying to make them like you, which in turn is approval seeking.

However, whether a woman is laughing a lot when you're talking with her is a good indicator of her attraction.

I think you're confusing flirtatious giggling with real laughing.

Definitely make women giggle all the time. I don't give two sh*ts if I make them laugh. Laughing has nothing to do with attraction. Laughing just means something is funny.

 

[Urbanyst]

Can you please elaborate on this more. We are almost same age and age is my number one insecurity. It is always in back of my head and spoiled some of my approaches.

I have created separate thread for this http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/age-insecurity.238863/

Why are you insecure about being in your early 30's?

 

[EmotionalGeek]

Why are you insecure about being in your early 30's?

I feel old and I feel that something is wrong if I hit on 10 years younger girl even if I did not know about her age. I do not want to feel like some kind of creep or sleazy old man.

 

[Urbanyst]

I feel old and I feel that something is wrong if I hit on 10 years younger girl even if I did not know about her age. I do not want to feel like some kind of creep or sleazy old man.

Bro, I know a guy in his 40's with a 24 year old girlfriend.

While you are worried about your image, other people are out there enjoying their lives and getting what they want.

When you're on your death bed, will you be saying to yourself how happy you are that you never came across creepy to anyone? Will you be happy that you never approached that hot 22 year old because you might look sleazy?

Life is too short for your type of thinking.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I think you're confusing flirtatious giggling with real laughing.

Definitely make women giggle all the time. I don't give two sh*ts if I make them laugh. Laughing has nothing to do with attraction. Laughing just means something is funny.

Not true. Feelings are everything to a woman, and making her laugh is getting her emotionally vulnerable towards you.

Bro, I know a guy in his 40's with a 24 year old girlfriend.

While you are worried about your image, other people are out there enjoying their lives and getting what they want.

When you're on your death bed, will you be saying to yourself how happy you are that you never came across creepy to anyone? Will you be happy that you never approached that hot 22 year old because you might look sleazy?

Life is too short for your type of thinking.

I find this an oxymoron. You are basically saying he isn't too young then tell him life is short hahaha

 

[Urbanyst]

Not true. Feelings are everything to a woman, and making her laugh is getting her emotionally vulnerable towards you.

You sound naive and inexperienced.

It would take too long to explain why what you said is horse sh*t. Laughing means something is funny. Has nothing to do with attraction.

I have slept with a lot of women who never laughed at me once. I have also made many women laugh who had no sexual interest in me. Women are a diverse group. Men with experience will understand. You are talking about 1990's PUA bullsh*t 101. You have a lot of catching up to do and a lot of sex to have.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You sound naive and inexperienced.

It would take too long to explain why what you said is horse sh*t. Laughing means something is funny. Has nothing to do with attraction.

I have slept with a lot of women who never laughed at me once. I have also made many women laugh who had no sexual interest in me. Women are a diverse group. Men with experience will understand. You are talking about 1990's PUA bullsh*t 101. You have a lot of catching up to do and a lot of sex to have.

"It would take too long to explain why what you said is horse sh*t" that's an excuse for you not to explain because you don't know why. Don't patronize me. You don't HAVE to make a woman laugh, but it gets them to open up to you. Making any PERSON laugh is a good way to actually get them to talk to you. It's not the only way though, I never said it was. Think outside the box and try to understand what others are saying. You could learn a thing or two.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

"It would take too long to explain why what you said is horse sh*t" that's an excuse for you not to explain because you don't know why. Don't patronize me. You don't HAVE to make a woman laugh, but it gets them to open up to you. Making any PERSON laugh is a good way to actually get them to talk to you. It's not the only way though, I never said it was. Think outside the box and try to understand what others are saying. You could learn a thing or two.

Getting them to open up is CRUCIAL. Very good point about making them laugh.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You sound naive and inexperienced.

It would take too long to explain why what you said is horse sh*t. Laughing means something is funny. Has nothing to do with attraction.

I have slept with a lot of women who never laughed at me once. I have also made many women laugh who had no sexual interest in me. Women are a diverse group. Men with experience will understand. You are talking about 1990's PUA bullsh*t 101. You have a lot of catching up to do and a lot of sex to have.

Making them laugh does open them up. Sometimes opening them up is HUGE. But then theres another type of female who will OPEN UP MORE with her friends and guys she won't screw. And be screwing the other guy whose about his business and not wasting a bunch of time "entertaining" her. That's what her friends are for, and she opens up so much because she doesn't worry about having to screw them.

Still when a babe is stonewalling you, finding ways of getting her to open up are important. So it shouldn't be overlooked. You can get someone to open up by simply let them talk about their problems....

These are all tools and I wouldn't say PUA 101 garbage, just a little tool to have in the toolbox.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Getting them to open up is CRUCIAL. Very good point about making them laugh.

Exactly my point. You can't just fvck a woman without establishing at least some kind of rapport unless you are raping her or she's a hooker.