Does anyone have good examples of being a mystery?

[izza]

Hi Everyone,

I'm looking for examples of how being a mystery succeeded in the field.

More specifically, how did you DJs out there respond to questions like:

"Where are you from?
What do you study?
What did you do this weekend?
What are you doing this summer?"

Is it good when people get offended by vagueness? Haha, is one supposed to make vague jokes to cover up the truth?

Any other examples of how to be a mystery would be really helpful. Thank you in advance for any helpful thoughts!

To hone in on my problem just a bit more, I'm having a hard time finding my gut reaction to when too much or too little is being said. For example, saying too little can just be offensive: one girl, just to experiment, I didn't even tell her my name hahahaha. She got really mad! Another, when she asked where I was from, I just pointed towards Chicago and told her "that way." I refused to say another word. I've refused to reveal my age, I've told people "I declare my age to be 20," even though it's 21 (I make it clear that I'm lying). Again, thank you so much for any words of wisdom.

Izza

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

izza, delete messages in your mailbox - it is full!

Be mysterioius? Wear a mask!

 

[catch]

being a mystery ,

it sounds like a mission, ha ha,

its actually very simple, now its so simple that you will actually doubt its effectiveness until you have actually tried it out...

dont let them know too much about you, ha ha

how?????? learn magic...

i like to answer questions with short answers that dont actually give any kind of effective answer,
and then, subtlely turn the tables by asking interesting questions....
when you do this the person who is trying to find out who you are will feel even more intrigued to know who you are..

example-
hb- "so where do you come from"????

me- "some where you probably would never heard of, anyway how do get your hair to do that curly thing at the front???"

hb-" i do loads of stuff with my hair, its always changing, pretty cool huh,
so what do you study anyway"

me-" me, i study loads of cool things, do you like magic????"

hb-" oh yeah i love it, why, are you a magician????"

me-"yeah....( dove appears from a cloud of red smoke )

hb- " wooow, how did you do that????

its really easy to to get people curious about you, you just dont let them know what they want by evading there questions...

two tips...

learn a few magic tricks and get good at answering questions with questions.... easy.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

well.......and this is a joke....one man asked was being a mystery to women like her playing the role of Scooby Doo...and have to solve the mystery of my personality?

Haha....I can understand your concern, I had the same concern when I first came here.

But actually, being a challenge and a mystery all play the same role together.

Your girl usually wants to find out as much info about you as quick as possible, so in a joking way, you just act all none-sa-lont(I know I spelled that wrong, haha) and act as if you dont know..when you really do.

It is just a little game you play with her that makes things more fun......

Hey...but congratualtions on having the desire to understand the dating game better, soon you will be living the life you want with the girl or girls...haha, you want.

 

[Interpol]

Refusing to divulge personal information is only going to fly for so long. If you've been on 3 dates and she still doesn't know where you live or what your job is, she'll think you have something to hide.

Being mysterious in the long run means not letting her know what you're thinking and staying unpredictable.

 

[izza]

one clarification

Wow, that's great advice, thank you PE and catch. To summarize: learn how to give nonchalant answers, and learn how to ask interesting questions after giving non-helpful answers. My problem is that I will often give a non-helpful answer but then have no questions to back it up with, so the girl just gets annoyed and starts quizzing me lol. Also, learning a magic trick or something is a really good idea!

Thanks Interpol, so you're saying that, for you, being a mystery is only a good idea for the first couple of encounters. Basically, she has to earn information by being interested, the more she earns the more she learns. Would that describe your philosophy?

One clarification: so you say nothing about yourself besides your name? (I know, I should use my gut on this one, but as a general rule you say nothing but your name, at least at first?)

Thank you for the thoughts and the encouragement.

Izza

P.S. I'm starting to understand what you mean. I was out with this girl yesterday, and for every one of her questions I would give some evasive response, pretend I didn't know, or just invent something funny.

Her: What are you doing this summer?
Me: I'm gonna be the king of the universe for a little while, nothing too special. Isn't that church cool? (passing a building)

Izza

 

[HuuBinh]

-> izza

There is a much BETTER WAY to create MYSTERY than the ones replied.

Giving VAGUE answers, and intentionally CONCEAL information about yourself is UNNATURAL and relatively INEFFECTIVE in conveying MYSTERY.

The idea is this, and I will give you an example in a second.

You want to answer any questions she may have, but at the same time, you generate a range of OTHER UNANSWERED QUESTIONS that PIQUE her INTERESTS in wanting to KNOW more about YOU.

Example:

HER: What do you study?

YOU: I study economics. You won’t believe this, but when I was in high school, I met this AMAZING PERSON and we had a discussion about economics. During our conversation, he told something VERY INTERESTING ABOUT MYSELF that I never knew or thought of before. After that, I came to realize that economics was the right subject for me to study.

Unanswered question:
1. Who was that AMAZING PERSON?
2. What was it about you that was so INTERESTING?

These questions will generate a lot of MYSTERY and make her want to further know you. For every question you answer her, generate 2-4 other UNKNOWNS.

THAT IS HOW YOU SUPPOSE TO COMMUNICATE MYSTERY.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

Hey that reply was awesome.....great advice...

 

[izza]

YES!

HuuBinh,

Your post makes a ton of sense. Thank you so much!

I wrote this post about mysteries attempting to explain an incident about a year ago. I had met a gorgeous HB9, a hilarious, fascinating girl and had gotten her phone number. She wasn't that into me when I met her, but by the end of our first phone conversation she was all over me! These were the days before I knew about sosuave, and I had no notions of being a mystery or anything, yet I had multiplied her interest by at least ten in one phone conversation. It was insane.

Ever since I had been trying to figure out what on earth happened. I remember the conversation FELT great, but I had no idea why. Afterwards, I dated that girl for some of the best 11 months of my life: first kiss, first everything, great times. I was completely in love with her when she left me for someone else, the event that lead me to sosuave. This site had taught me a lot about mistakes I had made and so forth, but I never quite solved what happened in that phone conversation until now. But reading your post, I remember very distinctly that I naturally and unthinkingly did exactly what you said. Each answer led to a thousand more questions, covering many fascinating parts of my life until, half hour later, she absolutely had to know everything about me. If you want to hear a chumpish mistake, for our first two dates we did dinner and coffee and talked for a total of 17 hours (I ended them). The third date I spent the night at her place.... In fact, I was such an adorable chump, I didn't kiss her until the morning after fourth date, when she spent the night at my place ahahahaha. That was high school styles, and I was 20.

It wasn't until a few months later that she began to lose interest. Such a chumpishly long date won't happen again, but the creation of mystery and interest using this method will be field tested in the very near future. I am really excited to try!

In any case, thank you for solving that mystery, and for giving me a key to unlock many a chastity belt ;- )

Take care my friend, and thank you again for the enlightening post.

Izza

 

[izza]

bump

 

[ARK]

I went out for dinner with the girl Im seeing and she literally said, "From now on, each time we go out to dinner you have to tell me something new about yourself. Because I know your not boring." I ended up telling her about my friends and how close we are. I told her the best time in my life in which I started the conversation by asking what hers was and in the car I talked about going to church. Over a month ago I remembered her saying how this guy she dated didnt believe in going to church, etc. and how she felt like she couldnt grow spiritually with this guy. So I said that I would like to go back to church again so that I could grow spiritually. Having her already said that a month ago, I think I reached her on a personal level. "Ah, he wants to grow just like I do." So then she took the conversation over and talked about the circumstances she went through with her bf. She always took my conversations and finished them with her experiences. It seemed to work well.

 

[bud_2005]

I think if a girl asks you those questions, you should answer them. It means she is interested and the conversation will fall flat if you just answer with short answers.

 

[izza]

I agree. If you say nothing about yourself, you appear really suspicious and people you've just met get angry and don't want to talk to you anymore hahaha. I've had that happen to me on several occasions.

Izza

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

being a mystery is not about going around the question of "where are you from". Being a mystery is about not letting a woman know your feelings, what is on your mind, and following the golden rules of communication

JOE THE HOMOPHOBE'S GOLDEN RULES OF COMMUNICATION
1. In a relationship, the female does the 70% of the talking, you do the rest.
2. Avoid revealing your true feelings/thoughts as much as you can.
3. Don't give your opinion on things unless asked: For example don't be like stupid high schoolers in an average class. The teachers talks about a subject and then you have a dozen know it alls wanting to give their silly opinions or feelings on the subject. Don't be the smart guy in your class always giving his opinion like they are going to make the world a better place or if it matters what he thinks. Be the guy sitting at the back of the class, the mysteryous guy that kept his thoughts to himself. Remember those 2 guys and who was more popular with the ladies? yeah you know who it was

Don't be the guy that everyday he gets together with his girlfriend he starts yapping about the bad food his mom made for dinner (random example), or how he hates this/hates that/likes this/likes that etc etc. I know many guys actually want this emotional escape and use their girlfriend to let their emotions and feelings out. The problem is that this is the woman's role, not yours! you keep letting your thoughts and feelings out and next thing you know, she gets bored with you since she knows too much about your inner soul. You are nolonger a mystery.

I remember back when I didn't know better and in one of my first dates, I made the horrible mistake of "letting my thoughts and feelings out," I revealed too much about myself. I told the girl how I wanted to do this and that, I always wanted to travel etc, I always dreamnt of this and that etc etc. Of course If I had known of the golden rule, she should have been the one talking about what she wanted to do, where she dreamed of traveling, what her dreams were while I was doing the questions!

First things first, FOLLOW THE GOLDEN RULE! Allow yourself be number 2 in the relationship when it comes to talking. Let your girl do the talking while you listen. It fulfills women to talk and talk and have someone listen. All you have to do is keep asking her questions and keep her talking while at the same time you talk less and you reveal little about yourself.

Like the saying says, "women don't want a lovesick puppy, they want men that are a little rough, they want men with an edge"

 

[Fatality]

Originally posted by Joe The Homophobe

3. Don't give your opinion on things unless asked: For example don't be like stupid high schoolers in an average class. The teachers talks about a subject and then you have a dozen know it alls wanting to give their silly opinions or feelings on the subject. Don't be the smart guy in your class always giving his opinion like they are going to make the world a better place or if it matters what he thinks. Be the guy sitting at the back of the class, the mysteryous guy that kept his thoughts to himself. Remember those 2 guys and who was more popular with the ladies? yeah you know who it was

[/B]

I don't agree with this. You brought up high school, well the most popular guy at my high school was always giving his opinion in classes. He was about as average looking as it gets too. Being the "mysterious" guy in the back of the class only works for a girl if she really likes your looks. If she isn't that impressed with the way you look she will label you as being shy, stupid, no personality, or she won't even notice you at all.