Does a woman "stop going for jerks" when her desirability wanes?

MtnMan

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I would say absolutely yes, this is precisely why they stop falling for jerks. Start desiring a beta provider for provisioning.
 

JaegerPilot217

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Doesn't surprise me if it was really true, probably starts happening once women reach 30 or 35
 

Warrior74

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Oh yes. I know plenty of women who have "rode the **** carousel" (props to who ever invented that term), who told me I was going to make a great husband one day and then when they slammed face first into the wall came calling. By then I had wised up and learned the game. There was nothing I could do for them...I mean except for pump and dump, frankly Scarlett i don't give a damn and yippie ki yaaed up outta there.
 

SgtSplacker

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Maybe 20 years ago I worked with this hot little thing I was crazy over. I hit it while she was dating some dude. Maybe two years later after she has a kid she tried to come around again and I rejected her hard, I forgot what she did but she got pretty pissed off about how I rejected her. Kinda funny... It's true to a point.
 

backbreaker

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I was a pretty good basketball player growing up. For about a 5-7 year period, from the time I was 9 until the time I was about 17 or so, basketball was life. I woke up in the morning and I'd dribble to the bus station . I'd play ball before school. Id play ball at lunch. I'd play ball after school. I had ball practice. I had ball games.

I even got good enough to where i played with traveling (AAU) teams. I wore ball clothes all the time, I watched basketball all the time, I went to the gym in my free time. this is what I did. And I was pretty good.

I dont say all of this to brag. Quite the opposite actually lol. I have an older cousin, mike jones is his name, my dad's sister's son, who played for a rival school. He was good enough to play high level D 1 basketball. I had played pickup games with some really good players, joe johnson, scotty Thurman, corliss williamson, but i had never actually played in a real live game with someone that was good enough to play high level D1 basketball before.

Mike is a foot taller than I am so we don't play the same positions, and we played aorund alot and played pickup games and stuff and but this is different.

So this was kinda a big deal in our family lol. so the entire famly comes out. ARkansas scouts happen to be there (Where he ended up playing basketball at), the stadium was packed because both our teams were pretty good.

Long story short I didn't play bad, I think I had 9 points, a few steals, a few rebounds, like 4-5 assists. I was playing against a pretty good point guard for them as well. Mike went for 35 points, like 15 rebounds and like 8 assists. Think he was perfect from 3 point land and he's 6'9. We could not do anything with him and he really wasn't even trying. He was just asserting himself. My best riend played the same position as mike so mike guarded him all game and my best friend did not have one point that was not a free throw the entire game. and my best friend was good. better than me.


My point in all that is to say, I knew as soon as that game was over, that i could never take basketball seriously again. He made my ass quit lol. I knew at that point that there was absoutly nohting I could ever do to be that good. And i Mean, mike was good but he wasnt a mcdonalds all american or anything. he had teams looking at him from across the country, georgia tech, Michigan, but i mean he wasn't like a 5 star athlete or anything. and i Mean, i wasn't even close to his skill level or had his athletic ability.

So I played that year out, my junior year, and the next year, I didn't even go out for basketball, and i was starting as a junior. I gave up on basketball becuase I did not see the point anymore. I wasn't going to play college ball. I wasn't ever going to be that good.

IT was this time that I started to focus on tech stuff, computers, and the rest is history.


Backbreaker, why are you so ucking long winded what's the point in all that? Beucase it's really the same thing. I don't miss basketball honestly. I don't long to play int he NBA. I'm quite happy with what I do for a living I love it. I grew up, my interests changed. Yes I realized that I could not be the alpha NBA playing male and yes there is nothing I can ever do to be that good but that doesn't mean I secretly long for it and that my interests did not genuinely change over the years. I grew up so to speak.


My point is, if i can grow up why can't women? OP says that women's interests change when their looks fall off the cliff, I say that women just grow up. My wife probably would not have dated me at 20 (her not me), because i would have been too serious and not adventurous enough for her at that time in her life. But that does not mean now at 36 she has not genuinely changed


to say otherwise is to suggest that all 35 year olds secretly wish they could still go out and go clubbing 5 nights a week. Im a guy and I got tired of that **** in my early 20's why cant' women?


I'm not saying that some women don't sette. But some women do in fact just grow up.

IF you dont allow for a woman to grow up you are going to be single for quite a while because you have unrealistic expectations.


let me clarify: every woman that is older and now goes for a different type of man than she did 10 years ago has not changed. the woman in the OP i believe has not changed. she has settled. but i know alot of women who just grew up. some women, really do find god. some women just grow out of that phase where they are young and stupid. they have the world by the balls and they realize that just because you can do something doesn't means its' in your best interest.


I mean, if i put you in the exact situation as most 22 year old HB8 females are in would you really be any better if you had that type of embarrassment of options? not really no. I wouldn't. Id have fun, i would not take guys seriously and then when I got older i'd probably want something different.

just beucase you are that different thing does not make you a chump. what makes you a chump is not realizing if a woman is settling for you or if she loves you.

I like the person I am. If by definition a tech geek nerd guy, if im not alpha, I dont want to be alpha. I like the person I am. I like reading. I like working on computers and websites. I love horse racing. this is what I do, this is me and I like it. i could see how younger women would not take me as seriously as someone who is 28-38 would. Im not that type of fun. **** em lol.
 

SgtSplacker

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You settled with your own life, a woman settles with you. It's unfair because you spend your life with a woman thinking you are something she just settled with.

You are happy with yourself now, she secretly wishes she could do better. The quality of your relationship is going to suck because she is going to consider you low value.

Similar things but not quite the same bud...
 

zekko

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I'm convinced that women who continually go for jerks are emotionally damaged, and not the type of girl you want. These girls mistake being undependable for being interesting. It's not even remotely the same thing.

My point is, if i can grow up why can't women? OP says that women's interests change when their looks fall off the cliff, I say that women just grow up. My wife probably would not have dated me at 20 (her not me), because i would have been too serious and not adventurous enough for her at that time in her life. But that does not mean now at 36 she has not genuinely changed

to say otherwise is to suggest that all 35 year olds secretly wish they could still go out and go clubbing 5 nights a week. Im a guy and I got tired of that **** in my early 20's why cant' women?
The hardliners will always say that women cannot grow or mature, but I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt. Sh!t, I was doing things at 16 that were so stupid when I look back at them now, why wouldn't women be the same way? I do believe that people can grow, even women.

I think that the women who are attracted to me find it refreshing that I'm not caught up in the kind of superficial crap that a lot of guys are. In other words, they appreciate my maturity. That's my view. I guess the SoSuave view would be that they hit the wall, gave up, and settled for me lol.
 

Warrior74

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zekko said:
I'm convinced that women who continually go for jerks are emotionally damaged, and not the type of girl you want. These girls mistake being undependable for being interesting. It's not even remotely the same thing.


The hardliners will always say that women cannot grow or mature, but I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt. Sh!t, I was doing things at 16 that were so stupid when I look back at them now, why wouldn't women be the same way? I do believe that people can grow, even women.

I think that the women who are attracted to me find it refreshing that I'm not caught up in the kind of superficial crap that a lot of guys are. In other words, they appreciate my maturity. That's my view. I guess the SoSuave view would be that they hit the wall, gave up, and settled for me lol.
It's not about your view or SS's view. It's about what is true. Now if you believe truth to be subjective then there ya go. Case closed. But if you believe in an objective truth then you need to know if it was for love or lack of options or both.

When you hear a girl tell you with a far away look in her eyes about the guys she used to bang and how exciting and awesome it was but then she wants you to jump through hoops...you need to be objective in your assessment no?

Hitting the wall is growing up for a lot of women. The same way a lot of men only quit partying and drinking when they realize that they are the old creepy guy in the club or that hangovers last 3 days. Some people only grow up when they have to. It's not noble, or pathetic...its objective truth.
 

backbreaker

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This site projects love to be almost teenage adolescent like.

I did not fall in love with computers the first time I looked at one. I got my first PC when I was 9 or so. I knew my way around it but I wasn't a tech or anything. I then started learning the different parts and how they worked. I then learned how to take one apart and put it together. Then I learned how to customize them. Then I learned how to troubleshoot them. Then came web development stuff, etc.


The more I emerged myself into the world the more I started to identify myself with it and the more it became part of my identity. The more of my identity it became the more I didn't want to trade it for anything.

Basketball to me was my first "lust". It was fun it was exciting. The first time I went and saw a real basketball game live I was hooked. Plus my dad was a pretty well known ball player from around here and it was pushed on me. **** it still is fun and exciting, but I don't miss it, I don't wish I was secretly a point guard for the Houston rockets or something


IMHO there are people on this site that for the most part have one of 2 problems. 1. they suck lol. or 2. they don't know what to look for in a woman.

for the number 2 people they describe what dating should be like, like they are 19 year old girls. she should be instantly attracted to me. there should be sparks. they should be fireworks coming out of my ass lol. we should have awesome anal PIITB sex within 30 mins of seeing each other that's the only way to show that she really loves me for me.

then when you get that woman, you wonder why she is such a cold blooded **** lol and why all women are evil and manipulative.

i wasn't head over heels in love with my wife the first day I saw her. on our first date we kissed bout i thought she was kinda air headed and a prude. I was going through the motions really until about our 3rd date. that's the first time i said humm.. i like this chick. I didn't like the fact that she acted like she was doing me a favor by going out with me at first. she wasn't head over heels in love with me the first time i saw her. she thought i was short, arrogant, close minded and a player. it wasn't until our 2nd date when I let my guard down a little that she really started to kinda dig me. it took her about 3 months to really REALLY all for me.


When you hear a girl tell you with a far away look in her eyes about the guys she used to bang and how exciting and awesome it was but then she wants you to jump through hoops..
that is a red flag if a woman is 15, 25, 35 or 45. age has nothing to do with it. her being 30 has nothing to do with it. why would i date a 21 year old who talks about her ex boyfriend like he walks on water?

Some people only grow up when they have to.
1. you said it yourself

2. even if i agreed with you and i do, is there any less diginity in doing something becuase you have to or because you want to?

The woman that grows up because she has to does not scare me. In fact thats.. responsible. Thats what responsible people do. realize what they should and should not do after trail and error and do that. what scares me and what is a red flag to me is the woman that actually, really hasn't grown up and sting longs to be that 25 year old chick that has guys over her, but can't.
 

Warrior74

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backbreaker said:
This site projects love to be almost teenage adolescent like.

I did not fall in love with computers the first time I looked at one. I got my first PC when I was 9 or so. I knew my way around it but I wasn't a tech or anything. I then started learning the different parts and how they worked. I then learned how to take one apart and put it together. Then I learned how to customize them. Then I learned how to troubleshoot them. Then came web development stuff, etc.


The more I emerged myself into the world the more I started to identify myself with it and the more it became part of my identity. The more of my identity it became the more I didn't want to trade it for anything.

Basketball to me was my first "lust". It was fun it was exciting. The first time I went and saw a real basketball game live I was hooked. Plus my dad was a pretty well known ball player from around here and it was pushed on me. **** it still is fun and exciting, but I don't miss it, I don't wish I was secretly a point guard for the Houston rockets or something


IMHO there are people on this site that for the most part have one of 2 problems. 1. they suck lol. or 2. they don't know what to look for in a woman.

for the number 2 people they describe what dating should be like, like they are 19 year old girls. she should be instantly attracted to me. there should be sparks. they should be fireworks coming out of my ass lol. we should have awesome anal PIITB sex within 30 mins of seeing each other that's the only way to show that she really loves me for me.

then when you get that woman, you wonder why she is such a cold blooded **** lol and why all women are evil and manipulative.

i wasn't head over heels in love with my wife the first day I saw her. on our first date we kissed bout i thought she was kinda air headed and a prude. I was going through the motions really until about our 3rd date. that's the first time i said humm.. i like this chick. I didn't like the fact that she acted like she was doing me a favor by going out with me at first. she wasn't head over heels in love with me the first time i saw her. she thought i was short, arrogant, close minded and a player. it wasn't until our 2nd date when I let my guard down a little that she really started to kinda dig me. it took her about 3 months to really REALLY all for me.


that is a red flag if a woman is 15, 25, 35 or 45. age has nothing to do with it. her being 30 has nothing to do with it. why would i date a 21 year old who talks about her ex boyfriend like he walks on water?



1. you said it yourself

2. even if i agreed with you and i do, is there any less diginity in doing something becuase you have to or because you want to?

The woman that grows up because she has to does not scare me. In fact thats.. responsible. Thats what responsible people do. realize what they should and should not do after trail and error and do that. what scares me and what is a red flag to me is the woman that actually, really hasn't grown up and sting longs to be that 25 year old chick that has guys over her, but can't.

I'm glad you wrote all of that to say you agree with me. :crackup:

I rarely trust advice from married men unless I really know them. Most come off as ***** whipped beta faggots who thinks that the rules don't apply to their women because of LUUUUV. I'm watching a lot of those guys get divorced right now as they hit late 30s, early 40s. You're one of the few I'll let bend my ear.

I know I'm a pessimist at heart and honestly I wish I wasn't. But i'm so often right its hard not to be. Imagine not betting on a winning horse. Makes no sense.

As for a Love, it totally is teenage and adolescent in nature. When life expectancy was 30 when was love? Oh wait, teenage years and adolescence. When people had families and were adults at 13-14,when was love? Yaaah. Science bytches! When was Mary knocked up by God? About 13 years old. Yah. Religion bytches! Romeo and Juliet were how old? Teens you say? Shakespeare bytches! Romantic love is juvenile. It doesn't mean it's not fun...but it is. To deny that is to deny humanity. It doesn't mean you can't be older and be in love, but you never love like you did when you were young. And people do want that. The other kind of love...the deep bonded kind...the kind that is like family...that takes time. And you rarely get to that one without the other.
 

Mike32ct

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Women might stop DATING jerks at a certain age, I doubt that their attraction (ie lust) for them ever completely dies.

She might be married to a responsible successful mature man. But are you telling me she wouldn't fantasize and/or do a double-take when a young hot douchbag walks by?

It's the same with men. He may be married to a mature normal wife. But if he's driving somewhere and he passes some hot club girls lined up he will probably look despite being middle aged and "passed that point."
 

zekko

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Lol, this site is such a riot sometimes. The emphasis is always put on the worst case scenario. It's never two people who get together because they are attracted to each other, is it? That could never happen. It's always "Oh, she settled for you", lol.

Warrior74 said:
When you hear a girl tell you with a far away look in her eyes about the guys she used to bang and how exciting and awesome it was but then she wants you to jump through hoops...you need to be objective in your assessment no?
Seriously, who the heck would even go out with such a girl, let alone LTR her or marry her? I swear guys around here need to learn how to screen.

Now it is true that some girls like jerks. But if you are going to say that every girl wants a jerk, or if girls are only turned on by jerks, then I'm calling bullsh!t on that one. I know too many real life examples of decent men and the women who are attracted to them.

Warrior74 said:
Some people only grow up when they have to. It's not noble, or pathetic...its objective truth.
True, some people only grow up when they have to. And hopefully, some will grow up earlier. In any case, the point is that they grow up. I admittedly grew up later than I should have. But I did grow up, and I'm glad I did. I haven't spent one day regretting it or pining for the old days when I was an immature idiot.

Warrior74 said:
As for a Love, it totally is teenage and adolescent in nature.
I'm not going to sit here and talk about LUUUUVVVV as you put it. But I'm assuming you're talking about the mutual release of chemicals when two people are deeply attracted to each other. And I can assure you this can happen to people throughout their lifespan, not just when they're adolescent. Now I suppose the more you bathe yourself in the manosphere and the constant reminders of how silly it is, and what a risk it is, it probably does make it less likely to happen. But normal people, out in the real world, yes it does happen to them. Now I'm not saying that it should, or that it's smart, but it does happen.
 

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Western women have been emotionally and mentally damaged (in other words, brainwashed) by the media to such a large scale that it defies most men's imaginations.

This is because women are extremely prone to emotional manipulation. The powers behind the media realized this in the 60s and began their plan to get them into the workforce so they would be paying taxes, and to dismantle the family. They knew they could not get to the male via direct attack, but what better way to neuter and neutralize men than through the woman?

The woman is slave to chick crack (emotion), and the man is slave to the pvssy. Since emotion is so easily manipulated, a complete neutralization of male power was found to be possible via manipulation of the fragile female mind.

The job is essentially done and needs only be fed and maintained, with women being globally bat sh!t crazy (even the better ones show symptoms) and men being reduced to helpless worker drones.

Unfortunately today women mature faster during a few teen years but then men vastly outgrow them later in life (mid-twenties and on). Women tend to become completely arrested in their emotional makeup and are capable of very little change until their hormones change later in life.

Mike32ct nailed it. Post #14. Women stop dating jerks all too late in life, but they will always remain attracted to them on a gut level.

That's why I always say that we men need to behave in ways that are evocative of the "bad boy" spirit, while offsetting that with what I call "great guy" qualities. Built into that is automatic push/pull, mystery, and spontaneity. More chick crack.
 

zekko

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Atom Smasher said:
Women stop dating jerks all too late in life, but they will always remain attracted to them on a gut level.
I don't have to look too far to see a very attractive young girl I know, who at 22 married a friend of mine, who is a very decent fellow. I remember how happy she was to have found him. They've been married about five years now. She certainly wasn't dating jerks late in life, was she?

All these generalities are just that, generalities. All that really needs to be debated is just how prevalant they are, and I have yet to see anyone take a stab at guessing the numbers. What percentage of women do you suppose date nothing but jerks up until they're 30, then marry a beta chump? I bet most guys here would guess a far higher percentage than it really is.
 

Atom Smasher

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Most women who I know within my sphere have done just that. The actual percentages don't interest me, but I have sense that it's the vast majority, well over 80% if I were to throw a number out. The decent ones might marry early, leaving the majority of confused ones out there in the field.
 

zekko

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Atom Smasher said:
Most women who I know within my sphere have done just that. The actual percentages don't interest me, but I have sense that it's the vast majority, well over 80% if I were to throw a number out. The decent ones might marry early, leaving the majority of confused ones out there in the field.
I find that extraordinary. You can look up your own statistics if you want, but the average age of marriage for women is 27, and most women are married by the time they reach 30. So for well over 80% of the women you know to be riding the c0ck carousel until they're 30 is a huge number. It makes me wonder what kind of circles you are running in, since my observations are nothing of the sort.

I do know, however, that you live in the northeast, whereas I live in the midwest, which is far more conservative, so that could no doubt explain some of it. I also agree that it may be that many of the decent ones may get snapped up early. My niece, for instance, married at 15, and is still married over 30 years later, an impressive feat in this day and age. I have to respect these girls who keep their family together.
 

Atom Smasher

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zekko said:
I find that extraordinary. You can look up your own statistics if you want, but the average age of marriage for women is 27, and most women are married by the time they reach 30. So for well over 80% of the women you know to be riding the c0ck carousel until they're 30 is a huge number. It makes me wonder what kind of circles you are running in, since my observations are nothing of the sort.

I do know, however, that you live in the northeast, whereas I live in the midwest, which is far more conservative, so that could no doubt explain some of it. I also agree that it may be that many of the decent ones may get snapped up early. My niece, for instance, married at 15, and is still married over 30 years later, an impressive feat in this day and age. I have to respect these girls who keep their family together.
Yes, before I finished reading your post I was going to respond that geography no doubt comes into play, then I saw you addressed it.

Here in the Northeast women are destroyed character-wise. I've spent a lot of time out in the Midwest (business meetings a week or two at a time) and the difference is like night & day. Out there the women are vastly better than the ones here. If it weren't for the lack of an ocean I would definitely move out there. In fact, as soon as you move out of the tri-state area you can see a vast difference in the social climate.

Man, I'm beginning to wonder why I stay here. Is an ocean really worth it? ;) From my observations I'm pretty sure it's worse here than any other part of the country. However I can only assume that the wave of degeneration sweeps like an ever-flowing current from east to west. The western ones just get it later, that's all.

I firmly believe that the good ones do get snatched up early. I'm a bit tired of wading through the dregs.
 
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