Does a girl's past sex life bother you? To what degree?

[5string]

Obviously, the "number" means more to one person as to another. I suppose we are all different. I have never asked my wife, never will. She has volunteered enough info for me to know that she has been around quite a bit over the years (she was divorced for 23 yrs). Keep in mind though that she is in her early 50's and not in her 20's. Knowing this, does it bother me? Somewhat to be honest. But I do know this, I'm confident in myself and as a man. So, the number of her partners really does not concern me. What I do know is that she has been faithful and does not cheat. That means more to me than anything else. We take care of each other behind closed doors and it's wonderful. Many people get too hung up on this number thing. Those of you who have been sitting on the couch of celibacy for years, pining for your one true love, feel free to cast the first stone.

 

[Robert28]

the only thing that bothers me about a girls past sex life is when i learn who she's been with, not the number. for instance if i find out they slept with someone i consider a loser, or trash, or i think to myself "how in the h*ll did she sleep with him?!" that turns me off and i lose interest FAST. that might sound concieted to think i'm better then some of those guys, but in reality i know i am. i know i look better then them, i have a good job, i own my own house, etc. they might look at them as a "bad boy" but i know if i was ever in a tussle with some of them i would stomp their @$$es.

 

[starplayer]

Excellent clarification, this is actually more what I was looking for. So lets assume its an LTR or a wife.... what number of past partners would bother you?

The number itself is hard to define because it really depends on other factors, such as her age and who the partners were.

For example, how can you compare
- a 30 year old woman who has had 7 sexual partners, all of which were short-term and long-term relationships.
- a 20 year old woman who has had 7 sexual partners, all of which were ONS/FB and booty calls.

So it really depends on the individual woman, how old she is, and whether she'd had a lot of casual hook ups or mostly relationships.

 

[comic_relief]

no, why should it bother me. My girlfriend was more upset about my past behavior because i have had quite a number of relationships prior to her in between my ex-gf.

- comic_relief

 

[Reyaj]

Bump

 

[Audiophile]

Right now, I'm at the age where the number is pretty low, usually under 3 or so. However, even now I have a "Don't ask, don't tell", policy. As long as they are clean and are not damaged, seems fine to me.

Men want to fvck pornstars and marry virgins, 'nuff said.

 

[JdelaSilviera]

It bothers me a lot....that´s why marriage doesn´t even cross my mind at the moment... since the society we live in is too obsessed with sex ... and I don´t want to risk marrying a girl that fvcked a lot of guys before.

If you marry a virgin (wich is almost impossible these days), teaching her shouldn´t be a problem, assuming you married a smart girl...after the first lay she is no longer a virgin.

Now a girl that has fvcked a lot of guys, is probably no good deal:
She might have lots of failed relationships behind (not good) or she might have lots of one night stands behind (not good). More over what makes you believe that a girl that was completly incapable of living a somewhat monogomous life during their teens and early twenties, will be a monogomous wife. In my experience people, usually don´t change that way, a cheater will always be a cheater, a slut will always be a slut.... Not to mention that these kind of experienced girls will always live for male atention.. So yeah the future of marriage, doesn´t seem very promising...

 

[betheman]

the only thing that bothers me about a girls past sex life is when i learn who she's been with, not the number. for instance if i find out they slept with someone i consider a loser, or trash, or i think to myself "how in the h*ll did she sleep with him?!" that turns me off and i lose interest FAST. that might sound concieted to think i'm better then some of those guys, but in reality i know i am. i know i look better then them, i have a good job, i own my own house, etc. they might look at them as a "bad boy" but i know if i was ever in a tussle with some of them i would stomp their @$$es.

this is important in my opinion, sex for the sake of sex is one thing, getting involved with low lifes is another, ugly bloke? that happens, however, criminals, druggies, freeloaders...that stinks.

I see a lot of posters putting up replies about STD'S Im not sure what relevance this is, if thye had them and had treatment, whats the big deal?

 

[perseverance]

However, even now I have a "Don't ask, don't tell", policy. As long as they are clean and are not damaged, seems fine to me.

Men want to fvck pornstars and marry virgins, 'nuff said.

I agree and that's what policy I adhere too.

 

[BigJimbo]

If you were not her first you won't be her last. Good luck in the Anglo world (America, Canada, UK). You guys are screwed. Virgins are easy in Eastern Europe and very possible in Western Europe. Reason? Because they are not feminized puritanical wastelands where you must date women your own age. When you decide to settle down you can always date a virgin if your intentions are right. Families respect that. Girls want a more mature man. The Anglo world is perfect if you like fat older women or gay men.

 

[RSanders219]

Doesn't bother me whatsoever, as long as they don't have any STD's. If they're a huge skank and are going to sleep around behind my back, that's a whole different topic though! haha

 

[Reyaj]

If you were not her first you won't be her last. Good luck in the Anglo world (America, Canada, UK). You guys are screwed. Virgins are easy in Eastern Europe and very possible in Western Europe. Reason? Because they are not feminized puritanical wastelands where you must date women your own age. When you decide to settle down you can always date a virgin if your intentions are right. Families respect that. Girls want a more mature man. The Anglo world is perfect if you like fat older women or gay men.

Tell me more Jimbo...... How can an american find such a girl?

 

[EA Gold]

Are you a virgin?

girl: no

Goodbye, next...

lol, just kidding.

This might be a tough decision for most. For me it depends on the situation and what you are looking for. Are you looking for a friend, a girlfriend a wife? Your standards are going to be different for each. If the girl has had a very promiscuous past but was willing to let it all go to be with me.

I'm willing to overlook it, but it is definitely easier and safer to be with someone who hasn't had any sexual encounters.

I look at it as a girl like unto a pond, at first its clear, clean, and pure. If one day a factory opened up and dumped impurities into the pond, no matter how much you clean the water the stench will always be their.

The only way for it to be pure again is for the water to be completely changed out and for the factory to leave. For me that's one of my criteria for marriage. A change of heart on the girls part and to leave the past behind.

Or you can just always screen for virgins and be upfront about marriage and there you go, live happily ever after. This is actually normal in india for marriages to be arranged, a Indian man would work until he is successful having a house and the ability to care for a family.

Then he would would call his parents to find him a wife for him. The parents after their search sends the son several letters with a picture and description of several ladies. Once he has chosen, the lady and son are arranged to meet then marriage ceremonies would begin after that.

 

[runner83]

What kind of girl would actually volunteer that kind of information without being asked?

And if she does tell you, would you believer her? I SURE AS HELL wouldn't!

I never bother to ask, since then the question will be turned around on you.

And hopefully all of you know about this:

Iron Rule of Tomassi # 2

NEVER, under pain of death, honestly or dishonsetly reveal the number of women you've slept with or explain any detail of your sexual experiences with them to a current lover.

The single most disastrous AFC move a man can make is to OVERTLY describe past sexual experiences and/or give a number (accurate or not) to how many women he's been with prior to the one he's with. This simple act, whether you offered the information or she dragged it out of you, ALWAYS comes off as pretensiousness and is often the catalyst for an avalanche of emotional resentment, if not outright emotional blackmail from an insecure woman. This is a rookie mistake that will only take you once to learn.

If a woman puts you on the spot by directly asking you for this information always sidestep this COVERTLY. C&F works wonders in this situation and still keeps the air of mystery and challenge about you.

Her: "So how many girls have you been with?"
You: "You're my first actually"
Her: "Really, how many girls have you been with?"
You:" You mean tonight?"
Her: "C'mon, how many girls have you been with?"
You: "You know, I really lost count after 50" (or something outrageous).

When a woman asks you this question she is seeking confirmation of what she already suspects - NEVER give her this satisfaction. When a woman resorts to OVERT communication (COVERT being her native language) she's generally exhausted her patience to be COVERT and this is a desperation tactic for an insecure woman.

 

[Packers2010]

a little. but i know my girl is clean. thats all that matters

 

[runner83]

a little. but i know my girl is clean. thats all that matters

:crackup:

You really think so?

Did you personally deflower her last night, or escort her down to a clinic for an STD's check?

And did you do these within the last week? Those are the only ways you can say that.

Women will cheat. ANY woman, given the right situation, will cheat. Just like for guys.

And you may never even know...

 

[handle]

The number doesn't bother me at all. I was all about getting laid left and right for a time, how can I blame her for trying the same?

 

[DonJuan11]

Look I basically grew up looking at sex real conservatively. There literally was a time where I'd see a girl who lost their virginity before marriage as garbage.

I've since obviously grown up.... and I see the realistic world of females fornicating before marriage as I have certainly done the same

All that being said, when a girl mentions how many guys she has been with.. is there a specific amount that would bother you? Would you not care....

Does any certain number disqualify them from LTR material and automatically makes them a pump n dump.. even if they seem like a great person you click with?

You are 31 years old and want us to give you a number that disqualifies women for relationship material? Does that sound logical to you? You can't have us give you a "number" to make your conscience feel good about sticking with a slutty women because she's hot or you get along with her.

That you are even asking this question makes you want us to tell you it doesn't matter what the number is, as long as you have chemistry with them.

 

[EA Gold]

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/why-sluts-make-bad-wives/

By the way, thanks for posting this.


Very insightful but I have to add that with God all things are possible, Even with sl#ts.

 

[Masculinity]

I feel the exact same way regarding a girl being a virgin; however, there are all these sexy ass, fine girls that aren't virgins that just make me wanna drool (but I control myself) haha. I had a hard time getting accustomed to my current gf having been with one guy before. I made the exception cause she's a good girl, but I'd rather have virgins all day.

By the way, watch one of the greatest pick-ups in history:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njWpwobbKLc