Does a challenge create attraction? I don't think so

[WildThang]

Challenge isn't a big mystery. It means two things:

1. An attitude that says 'I do what I want to please myself, and I don't let men or women fvck with me.'

2. Actions that back up that attitude.

If you can get that attitude across with body language, words, whatever it takes, that is *100% certain* to spark attraction. Because that kind of attitude is a big part of perceived male value.

But what a lot of guys don't get is that it's the attitude that really counts. Recovering AFCs try to fake it by doing the actions without having the attitude.

This works some, but it's not even close to the whole story. As long as a guy believes that a woman is doing him a favor by even talking to them, the vibe will be wrong, the attitude won't there and the smarter and more clued in women will see this. (The dumb ones won't totally get it, but instinctively they'll be kind of turned off by it.)

So being a challenge isn't what you do. It's who you are. If a woman sees you have that attitude, that'll be a big turn on for her because it shows that you have serious high-status potential.

When you add more practical kinds of value to that (rich, famous, good at whatever) the two are irresistible.

So it's not that challenge doesn't create attraction. Challenge *actions* won't create attraction if the true challenge vibe isn't there. And even if you show value, a non-challenge attitude will deflate it.

But if you have a self-possessed take no shyt attitude, and can live it, that'll cause attraction.

Add value to that, and you have something you can't go wrong with.

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Ahhh......looks like someone has discussed about this.

You see, challenge only WORKS if there is an ATTRACTION going on for another person. For example, guys make be interested in a girl because of her beauty because she may look like a greekgod. That is why she doesn't need to do anything cause she knows that her beauty will attract men like crazy.

Unfortunately for men, men need to create attraction for women. The process is still the same. Once attraction occurs, then being a challenge will work.

But the main question now is "How do we create attraction first?" . That is the most important thing. Once that is accomplished, the rest of it will fall into place such as being mysterious, unpredictable,playing hard to get and etc.

I hope someone will see to this for me cause I need something to spark a woman's attraction before the rest of the process continues.

 

[De La Soul]

Originally posted by IntermediateDonJuaner:
Ahhh......looks like someone has discussed about this.

You see, challenge only WORKS if there is an ATTRACTION going on for another person. For example, guys make be interested in a girl because of her beauty because she may look like a greekgod. That is why she doesn't need to do anything cause she knows that her beauty will attract men like crazy.

Unfortunately for men, men need to create attraction for women. The process is still the same. Once attraction occurs, then being a challenge will work.

But the main question now is "How do we create attraction first?" . That is the most important thing. Once that is accomplished, the rest of it will fall into place such as being mysterious, unpredictable,playing hard to get and etc.

I hope someone will see to this for me cause I need something to spark a woman's attraction before the rest of the process continues.

Here ya go...
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001888.html

 

[Flyguy3663]

It has very little to do with Challenge. Okay guys LISTEN to what I am going to say. This isn't a rant this is just reality.

If a woman is attracted you physically and likes your personality she will make whatever tweaks to make sure she gets you. If she wants you she isn't gonna magnify your AFC characteristics. Also if she is into you you don't have to be a challenge. I mean it's good to keep her on her toes and let her know you could get another girl at any time but at the same time you don't have to play hard to get and be mean. I think that attitude weeds out the nice girls and leaves a lot of you dealing with BYTCHES. Then you guys post and wonder why these bytches are playing mind games with MOST of you.

Challenge is necessary in some form but if you meet someone and you just click your not thinking about being a challenge.

 

[JADT]

I agree with flyguy3663,because that just do make sense.However if it wasn't too work,just find someone else that you click with,without playing games.Women really are easy too get.Always remember,as you continue too grow older,learn and continue to try and make yourself a great person in all aspects.Even if you aren't great,just try and then if you do this,don juaning will come naturally.Part of this means too take care of yourself with eating right,exercising and good hygene!

 

[Intruder]

Very good topic and replies.

 

[cyclonus]

Welcome aboard. Cosmo huh? What are they saying about us over there.

Uncertainty is the tool to MAINTAIN adrenaline (attraction); the first 6 points I made all refer to how you CREATE adrenaline-sorry if that was unclear (I know, my posts are VERY long, LOL). I added the part about keeping attraction since others had speculated on it, and it fit easily with the other points.

Exactly. That was the whole point of this thread, to differentiate between what CREATES attraction and what ESCALATES or SUSTAINS it. The problem is, there is little emphasis on demonstrating value here and so much on using certain indirect techniques. All too often we see a poster making a post about how he "dissed a girl" (total misapplication of another technique) without conveying anything attractive at all, thinking he's won the game and that stirring those emotions within her will all of sudden make her jump into his arms. We are trying to deter that kind of thought.

A lot of the methodology remains at using indirect behaviors to allow the girls to sort of "flock to you", instead of making a direct pursuit. The fact is that there must have been something attractive about you initially for these behaviors to take effect. Understanding things from that framework and controlling that ability to demonstrate attractiveness is oft-ignored and would help raise the success of a lot here.

There is another self-defeating attitude that is sometimes prevalant here. The tautology of: If it works, it works, if it doesn't work, then she should be nexted (code name for move on) and it's good that it didn't work. Where is the room for improvement with that kind of thinking?

I would like now for posters to list "attractive traits", and the female posters to list what they find attractive in a man. Remember now, what's attractive is not what they DO, but what they ARE. What they do is but a reflection of what they are.

 

[Princess-Spock]

Originally posted by cyclonus:
Welcome aboard.

Thanks!!

Cosmo huh? What are they saying about us over there.

The board I saw was about where to meet men; the endless search for the mythical "good man," which probably doesn't exist by the definitions some women use.

I would like now for posters to list "attractive traits", and the female posters to list what they find attractive in a man

There are certain physical things I find attractive in a man, but physical beauty won't get me to approach a man or welcome an approach from him. What WILL get me into him, from across the room, are indications that he would be INTERESTING.

What do I mean by that? I mean that he isn't in the same outfit from the Gap, or the same boring suit, as the other guys. Maybe he has a unique t-shirt, or cool boots, or a tie with cartoon characters on it, something that shows he has some STYLE; I figure that a guy like that will have a mind of his own, and will be worth talking to and getting to know. There are VERY few guys like that in most places, and often none at all, so I'll make a beeline for that sort of man when I see one.

If the man DOES turn out to have interesting things to talk about, is enthusiastic about something (other than video games or sports), can make me laugh and laughs at MY jokes, and seems nice, open-minded and respectful of women, I'll continue to be attracted to him.

I hope that was the kind of thing you wanted!!

[This message has been edited by Princess-Spock (edited 07-22-2002).]

 

[Princess-Spock]

Here's another double-post; could one of the forum leaders please delete it? Thanks!!

[This message has been edited by Princess-Spock (edited 07-22-2002).]

 

[SoSuave.com]

To The Archive.

 

[R19]

Would like to see this discussion continued... There is a lot of talk about sh1t tests that women throw out; active, passive, all degrees of obviousness and difficulty.

I would like to see more talk of focusing on conveying one's own value, being a challenge, and what specific types of sh1t tests guys throw at chicks. I think that a lot of problems an AFC creates are because there is no challenge or sh1t testing going on and the woman does not have to prove or pass anything to stay in the game. They realize this from 1,000 yards away and they close out any attraction they might have started to build.

What specific sh1t tests have you find to work well without discouraging them too much? It seems most attractive women would not be used to this at all because it rarely happens.

 

[Evan]

I think "being a challenge" has more to do with your own values than anything you actually do. It's who you are that matters.

If a women has to do more than just look good and you are willing to walk away from a women who doesn't meet those values then you are a challenge.

If you value your own opinion of yourself more than her opinion of you then you are a challenge.

If you meet and **** other women while she is attracted to you then you are a challenge.

If you own who you are scars and no scars you are a challenge.

If you arnt afraid to state your intentions with her or escalate the vibe to a sexual one you are a challenge.

And the op describes it perfectly that simply being a challenge isn't enough. She needs to be attracted to you to begin with. Attraction happens very quickly and it's up to you from there what happens with it. It's a challenge for her to move away from society says to keep it in her pants when she is attracted to you and you are making her panties wet. That alone makes her even more wet.

 

[Evan]

Wisdom.

I personally think that being a challenge can include who I am AND what I do. Balancing both aspects is optimal for me. Building confidence wasn't enough for me; I had to learn how to effectively employ the DJ "tools."

I can be a pretty persistent and aggressive guy when it comes to making money and keeping myself in shape, but when it comes to attracting women, I've learned it's MUCH more effective to adopt the DJ mindset of minimizing attention and being a bit aloof and mysterious in the early phases of courtship.

Yes it's very much who you are. The feminine imperative is to get you exclusive to her. If you can make this reality a challenge on her part then you are adopting the DJ mindset very well. Of course she has to see you as a challenge deemed worthy as genuine desire is not negotiable. You do have control over making what's already who you are a challenge deemed necessary but beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I think it's wise to give this worthy challenge to those who are willing to walk the walk.

 

[juandirection]

Good read,man. Thanks!