I don't post much anymore and even spend very little time lurking. However, showing up and seeing an Anti-Dump post on the main page of the site is frustrating nonetheless. I realize that you guys who post on the forum don't decide what articles go on the main page of the site, Allen does. Also, I don't read what is posted here enough to know how much Anti-Dump's ideas influence this place anymore.
To reiterate my main disagreements with Anti-Dump there are two main ones. First is that his whole approach appears to be aimed entirely at finding the "most interested woman" you can possibly find. I believe guys should definitely want to find a woman who is interested in them but her interest in you is just part of it. What about YOUR interest in HER. Since Anti-Dump was mostly focused on finding a woman to marry this is really important. I definitely think that most of us have certain qualities we look for in a woman besides just how interested she is.
What we learn in this community (in my interpretation) has always been about making ourselves more interesting to women in general. Assuming we come to be successful at this, there will actually be MANY women who are interested in us. Due to this increased general female interest in us, we will be in a position to see which of these women WE are most interested in. In short, that the woman's interest in us, which is nonetheless important, should be some sort of prime directive seems silly.
Second, because Anti-Dump's approach is all about finding this postulated "most interested woman" his methods for interacting with women seem to involve a lot of tests to see how interested she is in you. There is nothing wrong with testing a woman's interest but there is the issue of CREATING the supposed interest that is being tested of which Anti-Dump's approach seems destitute. He seems to believe that a woman's interest in you comes from seeing you for the first time and nothing else. Based on my experiences, I don't consider this an accurate description of the facts of life. Maybe if you are a boxer brief model it is closer to the truth but for the rest of us a woman's interest in us depends largely on our communication, and by improving our skills in that respect we are able to interest more women.
Having said all that, the article which now sits on the front page of sosuave.com is as flawed as any of Anti-Dump's ideas, if not more so. The idea that a woman will be think you are "in demand" as Anti-Dump puts it because you carry a paper and pencil is off base. Just because you are prepared to get phone numbers says nothing in the world about whether or not you are getting laid. I have done A HELL of a lot of PU and the times in my life when I was getting the most phone numbers were not when I was getting laid the most, not by a longshot. If your conversation skills suck and you don't create solid rapport and attraction she is not going to be suddenly attracted to you because you whip out a pencil and paper to get her phone number. On the other hand, if you have an awesome conversation with you that fascinates her and draws her deeply into you she isn't going to be totally appalled when you finally ask for her number and say, "gee, I don't have a pen, let me get one."
Anti-Dump also says in this article that there are two kinds of women who will not like you for carrying a pencil and paper for numbers and one of them is one with emotional problems who "can't stand the thought of competing with others." First of all, the idea that she is going to believe she is competing for you based on your having a pencil and paper has no basis in reality, even in a woman's mind. Most women have seen many guys who carry such things and many of them aren't getting laid and women are able to tell that is the case. Second, most women have emotional problems, it is more a questions of which ones you can deal with and which ones you can't than it is finding a woman with none whatsoever. If you know which emotional problems you simply can't deal with there better ways of finding if she has THOSE problems. That topic is beyond the scope of this post but those tools exist. The notion that carrying writing utensils is some sort of screening mechanism for emotional health is laughable.
None of this is to say that carrying a pencil and paper to write down numbers is a bad idea. Only that Anti-Dump reads way too much into the message it sends to women and how they will react to it. At best, to say you should carry a pencil and paper is a nuts-and-bolts tip. It is convenient to do so, and it goes no deeper than that.
This is another example of how he focused on the wrong things. The quality of your interactions with women are where you want to focus your energy. That is where attraction is created and you learn about her, whether you are even interest in her and if you are, what you have to do to make it happen (whatever "it" is).
-PDX
