Do You Think There Is Too Much Negativity On This Site? [Merged Threads]

[thegenerousjew]

I know it's easy to say but honestly don't worry so much about rejections.

Women reject guys for so many reasons that you have no control over. [Insecurity,bad timing, sadism, personal prejudices, etc.]

A lot of guys hate rejection because subconsciously they realize they're not going to "bang the chick" which gets them frustrated. A True DJ attracts women and hence almost never has to deal with rejection.

True DJing helps you to attract the kind of women you truly deserve. [Focus on the last part of the sentence]

 

[MT3]

Concern troll spitting out plain and obvious advice to garner attention.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...True DJing helps you to attract the kind of women you truly deserve. [Focus on the last part of the sentence]

Bravo!

 

[Wyldfire]

Definitely, maybe that's why so many people on here are so insecure. I sound like a broken record banging on about Carpe PM but the vibe is FAR more positive there. SoSuave is like this castle with a big black cloud hanging over, with the occassional burst of sunshine.

But we can change to attitude and vibe if enough people say enough is enough and counter the negative with something better.

 

[Falcon]

No one can use the excuse that I am a woman on this thread. The Original Post is an article that was written by a man. I agree with everything he says and have been trying to point out the same thing for a very long time. How are the men here supposed to improve their lives and be happy with the level of negativity on this site? Sadly...it's spreading...and it is hurting the men who are coming here to get help. Everyone needs to do their part to stop the negativity epidemic that has struck sosuave.com, because negativity renders the site useless. I have seen this for a long time and that is why I am fighting tooth and nail all the time...I've been here 6 years...and care about this site...it's kinda like my baby. I WANT the guys here to be happy and successful more than anything. I also know that in order for them to accomplish that there needs to be some major changes in attitude around here.

I don't worry about this site. I've seen far worse on the internet that would make sosuave look tame. Unlike 6 years ago, this site can hold its own, because it is standing on the shoulders of giants (pook and all the greats before us). There is no negativity epidemic. Wyldfire, I am not trying to attack or insult you, but if you treat this site like it's your baby, that could be a sign that you're investing a little too much of your time and emotion. After all, you said it in another post... focus on yourself right?

 

[Wyldfire]

I wish the threads had not been merged. This is such an important discussion that it really needs to reach as many people as possible. Not as many people visit Anything Else. The original article should be stickied to the top of every forum, in my opinion.

 

[djSlvt]

NO


because I don't read DJ forums. I might give advice once in a blue moon on there. I mostly read AE and fitness.

 

[Wyldfire]

People who are unhappy with their life and circumstances need to focus on themselves. I've always been very happy with myself the entire time I've been a member here. If you are familiar with Erik Erikson's 8 Stages of Psycho-Emotional Development and have mastered each stage at my age you want to give back and provide wisdom and guidance to the people who are still struggling to make their way through the paths you have already travelled. That is Generativity. I began posting here at the beginning of that Generativity Stage. I'm exactly where I should be and have mastered all the previous stages of my life. Now it's my time to share, help and guide others. That's the reason I am here...it's what healthy people my age begin to do when they are emotionally healthy.

 

[Desdinova]

I wish the threads had not been merged. This is such an important discussion that it really needs to reach as many people as possible. Not as many people visit Anything Else. The original article should be stickied to the top of every forum, in my opinion.

Congratulations Wyld, I hereby declare you a back seat moderator! :flowers:

 

[Wyldfire]

Congratulations Wyld, I hereby declare you a back seat moderator! :flowers:

Do you remember when you first joined this site? Whenever someone would post something that was negative and full of self-pity, blaming and excuses the guys would give that guy a much needed swift kick in the ass and tell him he had to take responsibility. Back then they guys who came here turned their lives around and really became better men for it. We don't see that anymore. Maybe it's easier for me to see because I'm here for a different reason than most people. I am trying to help get things back to the way they should be...with this site offering real positive help for the people who come here. I can say one thing...I would be a great moderator. If I can get over 1000 radical feminists and radical masculinists who hate each other to discuss very controversial topics like adults without ever having to ban a single person or lock threads I could do wonders for this site.

 

[Falcon]

People who are unhappy with their life and circumstances need to focus on themselves. I've always been very happy with myself the entire time I've been a member here. If you are familiar with Erik Erikson's 8 Stages of Psycho-Emotional Development and have mastered each stage at my age you want to give back and provide wisdom and guidance to the people who are still struggling to make their way through the paths you have already travelled. That is Generativity. I began posting here at the beginning of that Generativity Stage. I'm exactly where I should be and have mastered all the previous stages of my life. Now it's my time to share, help and guide others. That's the reason I am here...it's what healthy people my age begin to do when they are emotionally healthy.

hmmmm, so once again you are the exception to the rule. That's alright. My reason here is not to judge you. I've come to warn you that in this post, you are expecting a lot of people to do something they are not ready for. You cannot go about changing someone's attitude by telling them to 'just change'. They will change on their own when they are ready. Trying to force that change usually backfires and ends up making it worse. Just trying to tell you that because I don't want you to get to disappointed or flustered if you don't see any changes. After all, this is an internet forum (and a rather large one) so I wouldn't keep my expectations so high.

 

[Desdinova]

Whenever someone would post something that was negative and full of self-pity, blaming and excuses the guys would give that guy a much needed swift kick in the ass and tell him he had to take responsibility. Back then they guys who came here turned their lives around and really became better men for it.

Yes, I remember that very well. But how come when someone gives you a swift kick in the ass, you call it a"personal attack"?

 

[Wyldfire]

hmmmm, so once again you are the exception to the rule. That's alright. My reason here is not to judge you. I've come to warn you that in this post, you are expecting a lot of people to do something they are not ready for. You cannot go about changing someone's attitude by telling them to 'just change'. They will change on their own when they are ready. Trying to force that change usually backfires and ends up making it worse. Just trying to tell you that because I don't want you to get to disappointed or flustered if you don't see any changes. After all, this is an internet forum (and a rather large one) so I wouldn't keep my expectations so high.

Of course I am an exception...I am a woman on a man's site. I'm not frustrated or angry because of romantic disappointment. I've had not one, but two great loves in my life. I don't blame all men for the bad behavior of a few. I know there are lots of bad women, too. Because of these things I am able to really view the posts here objectively. Of course guys can't tackle self change until they are ready...but in the current negative atmosphere on the site they will never be ready. The tone has to change. When negativity takes over it eliminates hope. Without hope there is no motivation. Without motivation there is no growth and change. Right now there is nothing but a black hole of self-defeatism...and it needs to change if the site is ever to be truly effective again...and it DID used to be extremely effective.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I miss Skip...

 

[Wyldfire]

Yes, I remember that very well. But how come when someone gives you a swift kick in the ass, you call it a"personal attack"?

A swift kick in the ass is something you give to a person who is asking for advice on a situation and they are currently making a mistake that they don't see and have not thought out.

A personal attack is when someone insults you, calls your loved ones nasty names and flames you when you are not asking for advice or input and are just posting to help other people.

A swift kick in the ass is something you give to a person who refuses to take responsibility for their mistakes and choices in life when their choices have left them unhappy.

A personal attack is when someone harps, insults and flames a person who actually HAS taken responsibility for their mistakes in life and are relentlessly insulted and criticized for the choices they made that provided them with happiness.

 

[Desdinova]

A swift kick in the ass is something you give to a person who refuses to take responsibility for their mistakes and choices in life when their choices have left them unhappy.

Maybe it's time we tried something different. Here, have some more flowers:

:flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

 

[belividere]

http://www.netaddiction.com/resources/internet_addiction_test.htm

 

[Desdinova]

http://www.netaddiction.com/resources/internet_addiction_test.htm

Does that count as a kick in the ass, or a personal attack?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Does that count as a kick in the ass, or a personal attack?

I say it was a veiled neg-hit...

 

[Wyldfire]

Maybe it's time we tried something different. Here, have some more flowers:

:flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

I don't want flowers...I just want you to enforce the rules objectively and consistently. I don't think that's too much to ask or unreasonable to expect. In fact...I still think the best solution would be for Allen to give me the ability to delete posts. Then I would not ever respond to the attacks or flamebait...I would just delete it. No one else would have to deal with it, no threads would get locked and people would be discouraged from disrupting threads. The only people who would be mad would be the ones who keep breaking the TOS agreement.