Do you think persuing older women helps reduce chance of winding up with a fat wife?

[MatureDJ]

I was looking at this, and it got me thinking:

http://cavemancircus.com/2011/03/03...i-noticed-when-girls-get-married-28-pictures/

While the article purports that it was marriage that caused these formerly (relatively) attractive women to become fat pigs, I am wondering if was really just that women who do get fat do so at a certain age, and it just so happened that this age corresponded with the age at which they had married. Of course, there probably is the "adverse selection" effect (i.e., the effect that causes folks who know they have a medical condition that will need expensive treatment to suddenly go from not wanting health insurance to wanting it), such that these women realized that it was getting harder & harder to keep their weight down, and that they needed to step off of the hypergamous c0ck carousel and land with a good beta who would be able to accept their impending obesity. (I should say that for most of the women at that webpage, there were some hints that they did not have a very good figure - i.e., that a lot of them, even as slender women, had a type of figure that just looked like it was destined to turn to seed.)

Irregardless, this got me thinking as it seems that limiting oneself to women who are at least a certain age could very well weed-out those women who are destined to become fat (which, admittedly are most women), in that a woman who has reached that age and remained slender is a woman whose body has survived the aging process. Sure, these women at a younger age are also destined to remain (relatively) slender, but the problem is that it cannot be determined at that young age who is who (although sure, having a non-obese mother is a good predictive data point.)

Now of course, pregnancy is an event that could have major, long-term effects, and it could very well be that even more mature women who are slender could be destined to go to seed after pregnancy. However, I just have to think that a man can reduce his odds of having a latent wife-whale by avoiding too young of women.

 

[BeExcellent]

My 2 cents for what its worth from a woman's point of view. Self discipline and healthy habits cannot be overstated. I'm a 46 y/o woman with 3 kids, 7, 12 & 14. I can still wear dresses from 20 years ago and remain a size 2-4 dress. Weigh 126 lbs with some flux. Former athlete. I am still pretty and sexy and have better than a "brick house" figure. I am conscious of how my habits affect my appearance and energy levels on a daily basis. My sister in law is 5'10" and 118lbs former model also 46 who has had 2 children similar in age to my older ones. My build is slender/athletic hers is thin.

Genetics play a big role. Hormonal weight gain and flux are a factor, working out is a factor (I work out some but not fanatically), diet for me is the largest factor. Metabolism slows down as one ages and gratuitous consumption of alcohol, sweets, and unnecessary calories in general will create weight gain. My mom is way too heavy (but eats poorly, is sedementary and drinks cola drinks to excess) while my paternal grandmother was always active, quite slim and ate modestly and mostly vegetables as she got older.

Healthy habits on a consistent basis today are the best indicator of future health. Also, weigh daily. Excess weight does not leap onto you but rather it creeps on over time. If you see a increase by a lb. or two or 5, you can modify behavior to offset the trend. As a woman you can also see how the menstral cycle affects weight and mood. Again - self discipline and paying attention.

I used to run about 40 miles a week pre-kids and eat as I pleased, consistently weighing 116 on a 5'6" frame (so I am 10 lbs heavier than I was 20 years ago to be fair.) Now I work out less vigorously but also eat far less and with far more thought put into what to eat and how much. I do not keep sweets in the house as a rule, do not buy sodas, do not consume milk, ice cream or yogurt and try not to eat emotionally or too late in the evening. I almost never eat fast food nor do I eat while watching TV. I occasionally fast for a day or so, and prefer unsweet hot tea to sugary drinks. Lots of plain water.

As for child-bearing, moderation and healthy eating while pregnant is best (no one needs to gain 50+ lbs to have a baby) and moderate exercise is also worthwhile. As little junk as possible. Breastfeeding can do amazing things for a woman. A woman who is exclusively breastfeeding will deliver 500+ per day calories to her baby. The baby literally consumes the excess weight if there is a negative caloric flow (more used than consumed in a day.) I breastfeed all three for at least a year and I lost all the pregnancy weight quickly by breastfeeding and remaining disciplined in my own diet. My cup size also went from a C to an E and stayed there without augmentation after having weaned. This is not true for every woman of course, again this is genetically predisposed...and those are things you can't know in advance. Some women actually LOSE cup size after breastfeeding, others come back to baseline. I guess there is always surgery for those who need it, but that is not without risks and side effects either.

The issue for a man trying to pick a woman based on these types of criteria is that these are things that it takes time to observe and whether your woman is committed to healthy living long term can be a toss up. Genetics also a toss up since you may or may not get an absolute picture based on her family. Many folks would look at how I do things and say "Well I'm not willing to do that". To those people I would say that all decisions have consequences (up to and including the spouse feeling rejected/disgusted and seeking physical intimacy elsewhere - or divorcing over it.) For me it was very important priority that I keep myself fit and healthy not only for myself but for my husband. I am consistently shocked that so many women (and men as well to be fair) quit working to maintain the physical attributes that attracted their spouse. To me being married is that much MORE reason to keep fit and healthy.

People who are disciplined and have good habits over time are rare relative to the general population.

It is true that some body types are going to be more prone to gain weight. But habits, discipline & awareness can offset this to a great degree. Too many women give up and do not make their physical maintenance a priority unfortunately and too many fail to see what their man needs physically as well for that matter. Physiologically testosterone levels in women play a role and are generally genetically determined. Higher testosterone in a female will typically mean a leaner body (greater muscle mass or meso-morph type body) and a higher libido. But the T level does not get tattooed behind one's ear to be observed!

The only thing pursuing older women will do (and this will depend on what you consider "older") is let you see what you are getting physically at that point in time, but you may have some other tradeoffs you may be less crazy about such as:

Someone that everyone else wants (so more competition)
Someone else's children to contend with to some degree or other (maybe just planning around time - maybe more involved)
Someone else's ideas about lifestyle choices that you may not agree with
Someone who may be too set in their thinking patterns or too independent to respect your views and/or defer to them
Someone who can no longer have your children
Someone who may be over anxious to have your children immediately (kids really stress a relationship - are you ready to go there right away)

That's all assuming you want to find a woman to marry and have babies. For anything less than that much of the above isn't nearly as applicable.

 

[BeExcellent]

I meant to say at the outset that the premise in that article is patently false. An abdication of responsibility for oneself that is reprehensible.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Relationships tend to make people fat. Gay male couples seem to be affected the least. Men understand fat is gross. Most lesbians I have met use their relationship as an excuse to completely let their appearance go. That's part of the appeal of being a dyke, a woman doesn't have to put any more effort into making herself attractive to men.

Everyone wears weight differently. If you like big boobs, some of those girls in the after pics don't look too bad. Some women have bodies that put most of their fat into their t!ts and ass. It's easier for them to gain weight and look good.

There's a girl I grew up with who recently finally got married in her late 30's. She was always skinny as a rail, freckled redhead, used to get teased for looking like Ronald McDonald. She married some fat, dorky guy about two years ago, and I have seen her pics scroll by on facebook as she gets fatter and fatter. Her skinny frame wears weight horribly. She swells up in her midsection, like you inflated her with an air hose. It's amazing how some women can get fat and still have no t!ts.

 

[evan12]

Women in general get fat when they stop looking for men , that is why when they get married most of them get fat.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

If I'm with a woman and she starts to chubb, I assist her in any way to get her back on track. If she doesn't engage, or doesn't change, I'll emotionally detach.