Do you think men pursue single mommies because they want to be a savior, or that they settle for such because they can't attain childless chicks?

[MatureDJ]

I was watching this video, and it got me interested:

 

[Money & Muscle]

I think single men marry single moms because they are living in a scarcity mindset.

I think single moms are far more aggressive in their mate retention tactics (BJs, respectful attitude, etc.) during the dating process as well, so these men believe these women are better catches than they really are.
*I think this behavior lasts up until they pressure the man into marrying them.

I'm sure plenty of men want to be Captain Save A H0e too - which is easy when these h0es literally need saving.

 

[SW15]

For the most part, I think men settle for single moms because they can't attain childless chicks.

Most men in their 30s/40s are pussie beggars for similarly aged women. Around 35-40, men start to notice a lot of single moms in the market.

Scarcity mindset becomes real for men who use apps. On the swipe apps, men outnumber women badly. The combination of aging and bad swipe app ratios create a situation where a man ends up settling for a single mom.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I don't care whether the women I have sex with have children or not, they're not going to make a husband/stepfather out of me anyway.

You're all thinking too much. Just use contraceptives when you have intercourse with women, so they won't be able to leverage a pregnancy to bind you to them.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

After a certain age, the biggest red flag a woman can have is no kids. What most men don't seem to get.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

After a certain age, the biggest red flag a woman can have is no kids. What most men don't seem to get.

That certain age is 25-35. Up till 35 is the optimal time for a woman to bear children.
Younger than 25 and the single mom is likely to be irresponsible and the child an 'accident', unless she's from a conservative culture where women marry young.
Still, a single 24 year old woman with a child shows that she's not relationship material, or she would be together with the baby daddy. So, probably not someone who is good enough to have an LTR with.
Single women over 35 without children but who wish to start a family have put other priorities first. It depends on the priorities whether they can be problematic or not.

 

[Redwood]

For the most part, I think men settle for single moms because they can't attain childless chicks.

Most men in their 30s/40s are pussie beggars for similarly aged women. Around 35-40, men start to notice a lot of single moms in the market.

Scarcity mindset becomes real for men who use apps. On the swipe apps, men outnumber women badly. The combination of aging and bad swipe app ratios create a situation where a man ends up settling for a single mom.

Really? I started seeing this in my mid to late 20s tbh.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

For the most part, I think men settle for single moms because they can't attain childless chicks.

Most men in their 30s/40s are pussie beggars for similarly aged women. Around 35-40, men start to notice a lot of single moms in the market.

Scarcity mindset becomes real for men who use apps. On the swipe apps, men outnumber women badly. The combination of aging and bad swipe app ratios create a situation where a man ends up settling for a single mom.

Depends...I've always felt more relatable to a woman that has kids since I have kids also. Until you actually do there are a lot of things you have no idea about in terms of how things work and why certain things happen.

People think they do, but they actually don't.

And that creates a mismatch of expectations and understanding of certain situations, which innately puts strain on relationships, in most cases.

Most men have issues dating single Moms because they "need" to be first. They never will be. Not should they be. The fact they think this is going to change is either delusional or coming from a place of weakness and need inside them.

I prefer dating single Moms with kids. It just makes things easier for me...lots of things don't need to be explained or justified or questioned on either side.

That being said, I am currently dating a childless 26 year old and that's been going quite well. She hasn't met my kids yet at this point tho, and I don't have any imminent plans for that to happen and have explained my position on that, and she is OK with it, at least for now.

So making the assumption that guys would only date a single Mom because they are "desperate" is patently wrong, because most guys have kids by their mid to late 30s and would be in the same boat as me.

The ones who don't are the outliers, not the ones who do.

 

[SW15]

Depends...I've always felt more relatable to a woman that has kids since I have kids also. Until you actually do there are a lot of things you have no idea about in terms of how things work and why certain things happen.

So making the assumption that guys would only date a single Mom because they are "desperate" is patently wrong, because most guys have kids by their mid to late 30s and would be in the same boat as me.

I think it is a fair assessment for a childless man. I've never concerned myself about men with children dating women with children. I think single men with children dating single women with children is acceptable. There are times when childless men will settle for single moms out of scarcity.

Both childless men and men with children tend to be pussie beggars when they are single in their 30s/40s.

Really? I started seeing this in my mid to late 20s tbh.

Men can start to encounter single moms regularly earlier than 35 and it seems like you did.

For me, I didn't really start encountering them much until around 35. Around 35 is when they became somewhat more noticeable on apps, but I ditched apps in the 2nd half of my 30s.

I've been doing solely real life approaching and I tend to do my real life approaching in venues where there are more childless women.

That certain age is 25-35. Up till 35 is the optimal time for a woman to bear children.

Agree with you on the general timeline. In my "Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere" thread about my primary social circle, most of those pregnancies are "Last Call" type first pregnancies at 32-35. There was one 1st pregnancy at 37-38 in that thread.

Younger than 25 and the single mom is likely to be irresponsible and the child an 'accident', unless she's from a conservative culture where women marry young.
Still, a single 24 year old woman with a child shows that she's not relationship material, or she would be together with the baby daddy. So, probably not someone who is good enough to have an LTR with.

In the United States and Western Europe, rates of pregnancy under 25 have been falling since the 1990s-2000s.

I'm more familiar with the United States. Women in the United States who complete a bachelor's degree and aren't deeply religious/conservative don't tend to get pregnant before 30. That's why my "Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere" is first pregnancies in mid-30s. This is a bougie/yuppie social circle not strongly influenced by a hardcore religion practice.

I rarely ever encountered women who were single moms prior to 25. I have seen women become moms before 25 but their relationships with the baby daddy didn't fail under after they turned 25.

Single women over 35 without children but who wish to start a family have put other priorities first. It depends on the priorities whether they can be problematic or not.

I have seen cases of single women turning 36 and they are childless. None of their relationships worked out for a variety of reasons. Some were penis carousel riders. Some were feminist/careerist. Those last two groups can overlap too.

 

[SW15]

After a certain age, the biggest red flag a woman can have is no kids. What most men don't seem to get.

The childless 35+ man generally doesn't tend to view the childless 35+ woman as having a big red flag on account of being childless.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The childless 35+ man generally doesn't tend to view the childless 35+ woman as having a big red flag on account of being childless.

That's the problem tho...because it IS a big red flag whether they want to believe it or not and the cause of why so many of these relationships go badly. Because they are dating someone that is likely fvcked up mentally, emotionally or a psycho.

 

[SW15]

That's the problem tho...because it IS a big red flag whether they want to believe it or not and the cause of why so many of these relationships go badly. Because they are dating someone that is likely fvcked up mentally, emotionally or a psycho.

It seems like the childless man who can't get a big enough age gap to get a younger childless woman has a solution. The main solution for that man in dating childless women close to his own age would be not to get too close. The idea would be not to marry them and not to cohabit with them. Additionally, they should still follow Iron Rule of Tomassi #5 and use protection so that they don't get pregnant if these women are still pre-menopausal (typical 35-45 year old women).

How would you envision that path working out for a more mature, childless man?

 

[CornbreadFed]

Because they don’t care or they are above the age of 35. Be realistic, a girl that is hot and still single in her 30s to 40s is more than likely nuts.

 

[SW15]

Be realistic, a girl that is hot and still single in her 30s to 40s is more than likely nuts.

She could be nuts as both a single mom or as a childless woman.

 

[Gamisch]

The combination of a bluepilled man with an alpha widowed woman is a BAD one.

And that's all because of expectations. If you're just plowing around, then occasionally you'll find a single mother. Again, if you never planned to stick for long it's no problem.

But when a (bluepilled) man thinks he's gonna "reset her heart" and make the baby daddy disappear, then he'll be in for a few surprises.

 

[Redwood]

Men can start to encounter single moms regularly earlier than 35 and it seems like you did.

For me, I didn't really start encountering them much until around 35. Around 35 is when they became somewhat more noticeable on apps, but I ditched apps in the 2nd half of my 30s.

Yeah, I live in Houston, so it's very easy to see a single mother or a woman with at least one kid.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I can work with a chick who has A child, from either a youthful indiscretion or a marriage which didn't pan out. Broads with 5+ kids by a s-itload of guys is where I draw the line

 

[MatureDJ]

I can work with a chick who has A child, from either a youthful indiscretion or a marriage which didn't pan out. Broads with 5+ kids by a s-itload of guys is where I draw the line

So you're OK with a single mommy of 4 kids?

 

[BaronOfHair]

So you're OK with a single mommy of 4 kids?

If she's the chick in the opening scene of The First Omen, who's been bred several times by Satan... Hanging out with her and her brood could be kinda cool

 

[The Duke]

I'd never live with a girl that had kids as I don't want to take all that on, but don't mind dating them if they don't have more than 2.

I've dated all sorts of women and always thought the ones with kids were a little more nurturing and caring. The ones that never had kids were more selfish and career oriented. Certainly there are exceptions.

As far as the original question, every one is different. I don't think it makes you desperate if you pursue single moms or even take on their kids.