Do you think marriage disproportionally benefits men because 70% of divorces are initiated by women?

[MatureDJ]

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While even bad marriages seem to benefit men, women’s health suffers a bigger impact than men’s if the marriage is bad.

To top it all off, nearly 70% of all divorces in the US are initiated by women.

my opinion: So let me get this straight - MEN are to blame for women wanting to divorce?

We are living in a clown world.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

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my opinion: So let me get this straight - MEN are to blame for women wanting to divorce?

We are living in a clown world.

View attachment 5223

What in the eff? Men go bald in bad relationships... Strokes. Heart attacks. Loss of everything he built. Even his life.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Nothing like citing flawed studies that married men are happier, right? No, married men say they are happy.

Married men are healthier. Yes, because he has a family depending on him. So, he takes better care of himself. Marriage is unnecessary for this effect.

Married men earn more. Sure, because they need to in order to support their family. Single men have more disposable income.

 

[MatureDJ]

Nothing like citing flawed studies that married men are happier, right? No, married men say they are happy.

Married men are healthier. Yes, because he has a family depending on him. So, he takes better care of himself. Marriage is unnecessary for this effect.

Married men earn more. Sure, because they need to in order to support their family. Single men have more disposable income.

Yes, I think the Anthropic Principle is at play here. Married men are healthier & wealthier because sickly & poor men are not found desirable as a marriage partner.

 

[darksprezzatura]

I don't see any benefit to a man from marriage apart from a reputation rise in corporate/social environments.

Folks "trust" a family man more.

 

[flowtheory]

Nothing like citing flawed studies that married men are happier, right? No, married men say they are happy.

Married men are healthier. Yes, because he has a family depending on him. So, he takes better care of himself. Marriage is unnecessary for this effect.

Married men earn more. Sure, because they need to in order to support their family. Single men have more disposable income.

Some good points.

I think both single and married men have equal levels of happiness/unhappiness. Of course this isn’t taking in to account the outliers on both sides of the spectrum

 

[death_wish. .]

Nothing like citing flawed studies that married men are happier, right? No, married men say they are happy.

Married men are healthier. Yes, because he has a family depending on him. So, he takes better care of himself. Marriage is unnecessary for this effect.

Married men earn more. Sure, because they need to in order to support their family. Single men have more disposable income.

LMAO...

Yes, I think the Anthropic Principle is at play here. Married men are healthier & wealthier because sickly & poor men are not found desirable as a marriage partner.

LMFAO
unless they are very financially fit, for all the guys wondering why they see these hot women with ugly dudes

I don't see any benefit to a man from marriage apart from a reputation rise in corporate/social environments.

Folks "trust" a family man more.

this is so sad, that i hope it is not true.

 

[christie]

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my opinion: So let me get this straight - MEN are to blame for women wanting to divorce?

We are living in a clown world.

View attachment 5223

I had to click through a few pages to get to that study.
It was done over the years of 2009-2015. 2, 262 people aged 19-94. Of these, 371 people broke up or divorced. Of those that divorced(it doesn't state who just broke up and who just divorced)69%(not "nearly" 70%; it was interesting that percentage wasn't exactly quoted) was initiated by women.



I'm not sure its accurate to state 70% of all divorce in the U.S. is initiated by women when all divorces weren't looked at in this study. It looks like a smaller percentage of those 2, 262 people 'broke up' and of the breakups, what percentage are divorce breakups versus nonmarital relationship breakups?

What are the real divorce numbers in the U.S. and what is technically the most reliable source of these numbers(courthouses, right?)

How easy is it to accurately state which gender initiated? What is initiating? The one who has the court office receipt for filing a divorce first? Are genders or title of "wife" or "husband" itemized on those receipts?


Sorry to be so picky about these 'statistical' numbers and 'studies' but this is an emotional topic that is alarming and just want to doublecheck the numbers.

 

[dude99]

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my opinion: So let me get this straight - MEN are to blame for women wanting to divorce?

We are living in a clown world.

View attachment 5223

The article was written by a feminist for feminists.

My take, is they want to precondition women into hating marriage, which may not be a bad thing. If they hate the idea of cohabitating and getting married it will be much harder to use men as a winning lottery ticket in the taking of the men's assets.

Women's magazines and women writers used to push for marriage and wrote articles that taught the feminists how to separate good men from the assets they worked for.

Let them have a change of heart.

 

[Hal9000]

I think being married to the "right" woman is indeed healthy for men. However many men are not married to this mythical creature and are, instead, married to someone who seems hellbent on sending them to an early grave. In this instance the man is much better off being single.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Nothing like citing flawed studies that married men are happier, right? No, married men say they are happy.

Married men are healthier. Yes, because he has a family depending on him. So, he takes better care of himself. Marriage is unnecessary for this effect.

Married men earn more. Sure, because they need to in order to support their family. Single men have more disposable income.

Far more married men let themselves go than take care of themself.

 

[RangerMIke]

I know this is obvious. But Jesus. I have so many freaking stories of awesome dudes turning into miserable slobs after getting married, then getting divorced, turning back into awesome dudes.


Let me tell you about my 10-year marriage. First two years were great, really it was awesome. Year three she started getting lazy, putting on weight, not keeping the house clean, dinners turned into boxed cr@p of bvll****... I called her out on all that... it was a daily sh1t show. She eventually straightened out and everything was back to normal. Year four was good, not great, but I would have been fine staying married if we kept having year 4. Year 5.... well that's when the passive aggressive bvllsh1t started.... this resulted in a once a week argument about her inability to control my behavior.... but again, I dug in my heels, and she self-corrected. Year 6... we were back to year 4... normal... fine... Year 7 was more sh1t show... again I refused to change to accommodate her insecurities, wasted money in marriage counseling. Year 8, she started seeing shrinks... spending sh1t loads on money on that bullsh1t. Year 9, the kids are born... she descended into massive depression. Every effort on my part to get her to be a decent wife and mom, resulted in me being categorized as selfish and heartless. I actually had one of her shrinks tell me in a counseling session that I was being 'selfish' for not hiring a live in nanny to take care of the girls... Man... I'm not a guy that loses his temper easy, but fvck. I told this jack@ss is it fair that I have a wife that is mentally ill? That she has two infants she can't deal with? Or that I don't have $85,000 a year for a live-in nanny sitting around as disposable income. Later that year I get another call from one of her shrinks that my ex was having thoughts of drowning one of the girls in the tub. That is when I had her committed for a couple of months that cost me over $100k. During this time, my mom came in to take care of the kids while I worked... When the ex was released, mom stayed with us, because I got called back on active duty and sent to Afghanistan for 6 months. Year 10... mom, who didn't want to say anything while I was deployed (she is a smart women) when I got back told me she was going out with male 'friends' on a semi-regular basis. When I confronted the ex, she fessed up... and of course it was all my fault (it's always the man's fault). Any way she was fvcking a couple of dudes she met when she had been committed. Talk about feeling like a fool… paying $100,000 so your wife can get some side d1ck. I filed for divorce... Which was expensive as fvck, because I fought for custody. Meanwhile, she had all her legal expenses paid for by some foundation and group formed to support abused women, and when they didn't pay... the courts required me to pay for her lawyers. Anyway... that process is a long story, which I will skip... and when it was obvious that I was going to prevail they came back and negotiated a deal... we went back and forth, but eventually settling on everything I was asking for plus spousal support, which would be fixed at $1,800 a month, and not tied to my income level, until the girls were out of HS (1.5 more years) and she would not have to pay child support. Now we get along fine really, we do, I consider my ex a friend, we don't argue or fight and can co-parent without any problems.

Now why did I share this? Simple... I can completely understand why any man would just surrender to their wife's machinations. And just turn into a weak piece of sh1t. It is incredibly hard to stand your ground and fight for what you want, because at the end of the day... government has given her A LOT of power... she will be able to surround herself with friends and family and no matter what you do, most of the people in your life will call you a selfish pr1ck. It is emotionally exhausting, and until you are in that situation you have no idea what most married men have to go through. You start off compromising, it starts with little things... then there are more little things... then the little things become big... then the next thing you know is you are the frog in boiling water. I totally see how this can happen. You can be like me... I did not compromise ANYTHING unless I got something in return... when she started trying to control me, I pushed back. I did everything "Red Pill" says you have to do when you are in a LTR, and guess what... it still didn't work with me because I did not have a sane chick I was married to. "Red Pill" philosophy ONLY works with chicks that are not crazy... the problem is most women today are crazy. So, if you are a guy that wants to get married.... well you better learn how to screen out crazy @ss b1tchs and only try to make things work with chicks that REALLY love you. It can be done, but it takes a lot of hard work.

Anyway, sorry for the long tirade.... but every time I see some BS article about some over generalized statement that marriage is good for men I just can not allow that to stand unchallenged. Marriage can be great, but it takes a lot of work... and you have to be ready to raise your wife like she was a teenager that you can not punish.... because she will push your buttons. The only way a marriage is REALLY beneficial to a man is if he is married to a SANE woman that loves you.. never settle for anything less.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Now we get along fine really, we do, I consider my ex a friend, we don't argue or fight and can co-parent without any problems.

Wow, that makes my previous marriage to a crazy woman with BPD seem trivial. I have no idea how you manage to get along with her after all that - but I mean that as a compliment to you.

 

[NSX-R]

Never marry a woman that wants to desperately be married to someone just to get the title. Whenever you see a red flag take it serious .

 

[bcude]

I know this is obvious. But Jesus. I have so many freaking stories of awesome dudes turning into miserable slobs after getting married, then getting divorced, turning back into awesome dudes.


Let me tell you about my 10-year marriage. First two years were great, really it was awesome. Year three she started getting lazy, putting on weight, not keeping the house clean, dinners turned into boxed cr@p of bvll****... I called her out on all that... it was a daily sh1t show. She eventually straightened out and everything was back to normal. Year four was good, not great, but I would have been fine staying married if we kept having year 4. Year 5.... well that's when the passive aggressive bvllsh1t started.... this resulted in a once a week argument about her inability to control my behavior.... but again, I dug in my heels, and she self-corrected. Year 6... we were back to year 4... normal... fine... Year 7 was more sh1t show... again I refused to change to accommodate her insecurities, wasted money in marriage counseling. Year 8, she started seeing shrinks... spending sh1t loads on money on that bullsh1t. Year 9, the kids are born... she descended into massive depression. Every effort on my part to get her to be a decent wife and mom, resulted in me being categorized as selfish and heartless. I actually had one of her shrinks tell me in a counseling session that I was being 'selfish' for not hiring a live in nanny to take care of the girls... Man... I'm not a guy that loses his temper easy, but fvck. I told this jack@ss is it fair that I have a wife that is mentally ill? That she has two infants she can't deal with? Or that I don't have $85,000 a year for a live-in nanny sitting around as disposable income. Later that year I get another call from one of her shrinks that my ex was having thoughts of drowning one of the girls in the tub. That is when I had her committed for a couple of months that cost me over $100k. During this time, my mom came in to take care of the kids while I worked... When the ex was released, mom stayed with us, because I got called back on active duty and sent to Afghanistan for 6 months. Year 10... mom, who didn't want to say anything while I was deployed (she is a smart women) when I got back told me she was going out with male 'friends' on a semi-regular basis. When I confronted the ex, she fessed up... and of course it was all my fault (it's always the man's fault). Any way she was fvcking a couple of dudes she met when she had been committed. Talk about feeling like a fool… paying $100,000 so your wife can get some side d1ck. I filed for divorce... Which was expensive as fvck, because I fought for custody. Meanwhile, she had all her legal expenses paid for by some foundation and group formed to support abused women, and when they didn't pay... the courts required me to pay for her lawyers. Anyway... that process is a long story, which I will skip... and when it was obvious that I was going to prevail they came back and negotiated a deal... we went back and forth, but eventually settling on everything I was asking for plus spousal support, which would be fixed at $1,800 a month, and not tied to my income level, until the girls were out of HS (1.5 more years) and she would not have to pay child support. Now we get along fine really, we do, I consider my ex a friend, we don't argue or fight and can co-parent without any problems.

Now why did I share this? Simple... I can completely understand why any man would just surrender to their wife's machinations. And just turn into a weak piece of sh1t. It is incredibly hard to stand your ground and fight for what you want, because at the end of the day... government has given her A LOT of power... she will be able to surround herself with friends and family and no matter what you do, most of the people in your life will call you a selfish pr1ck. It is emotionally exhausting, and until you are in that situation you have no idea what most married men have to go through. You start off compromising, it starts with little things... then there are more little things... then the little things become big... then the next thing you know is you are the frog in boiling water. I totally see how this can happen. You can be like me... I did not compromise ANYTHING unless I got something in return... when she started trying to control me, I pushed back. I did everything "Red Pill" says you have to do when you are in a LTR, and guess what... it still didn't work with me because I did not have a sane chick I was married to. "Red Pill" philosophy ONLY works with chicks that are not crazy... the problem is most women today are crazy. So, if you are a guy that wants to get married.... well you better learn how to screen out crazy @ss b1tchs and only try to make things work with chicks that REALLY love you. It can be done, but it takes a lot of hard work.

Anyway, sorry for the long tirade.... but every time I see some BS article about some over generalized statement that marriage is good for men I just can not allow that to stand unchallenged. Marriage can be great, but it takes a lot of work... and you have to be ready to raise your wife like she was a teenager that you can not punish.... because she will push your buttons. The only way a marriage is REALLY beneficial to a man is if he is married to a SANE woman that loves you.. never settle for anything less.

Thank you for sharing, good read. How come you still decided to have children with her year 9? I'm curious because you seemed red pilled at that time. Was it your wish or was it an 'accident'?

 

[RangerMIke]

Thank you for sharing, good read. How come you still decided to have children with her year 9? I'm curious because you seemed red pilled at that time. Was it your wish or was it an 'accident'?

The twins being borne was a complete surprise. We had tried early on by the doctors were telling us she had physical limitations that made it almost impossible to have kids... The universe had other ideas.

 

[RangerMIke]

That's scary shyt.

My question for you. You said you did everything "red pill." Was there any way to screen for her behavior before putting a ring on it? Curious if you saw red flags of any kind or if she pulled a 180.

At the time no, but in hindsight yes. I was/am really good at reading women, and have been my whole life. I can tell within a few minutes if I have a shot at a chick if I do everything right. My ex was nuts about me, did everything for me, as far as her personal behavior at the time she was checking all the boxes. Her personal behavior was perfect, like I said the 1st 3 years were great. I was getting green lights across the board.

Until I got married all I worried about was filtering chicks I had a shot at, nothing was ever geared to find anything that lasted more than a few months... what I never learned, because it didn't occur to me, was if she was sane. You can discover through her behavior if she nuts, but this is all surface stuff, and she didn't have any of those traits. However, she did have deep down issues that only came up when she was under stress. To find out about this, you have to look at her past... her family... and who she picks as friends.

So here is some advise for dudes that thinks she's perfect, and she might be based on her personal behavior, you have to evaluate the following:

(1) Does she come from a functional family? She might be perfectly normal, but if she was raised in a sh1t show, you can be certain when stress happens, all the BS will float to the surface. My ex come from a family that was so freaking weird I can not begin to describe. I convinced myself she was different... she wasn't.

(2) Does she have friends that are just toxic as fvck? The fact that she can not find normal friends for an extended period of time tells you everything you need to know about her ability to maintain long term relationships. Pay close attention to her oldest friends or if she doesn't have any friends she's know for more than 5 years. She will also find reasons to dislike any new friends she meets that are normal well adjusted people.

(3) Does she have a lot of male 'friends' and very few female friends?... this is NOT normal for a chick. Now there is a caveat here... if she grew up in a family with all boys with a good father figure, this is probably nothing more than she is comfortable with males. You have to see what her relationship is like with her dad and brothers... if it's solid then this isn't a problem.

(4) Does she have ANY chronic medical issues? This isn't necessarily a problem with the relationship itself, but it is something that will cause additional stress when things are stressful. The bottom-line here is that all things being equal, it is better to be in a relationship with someone that isn't dealing with chronic medical problems.

My ex had all the red flags... and these were MONSTER HUGE flags like a May Day parade in the old Soviet Union. I only realized these were a problem after the fact.

 

[Glassguy]

@RangerMIke

are you sure we werent married to the same woman? lol.

Outside of the shrinks and apparent mental institution, they seem like the same.

I can handle and manage a lot. Its not hard. But the passive aggressiveness.......let me tell you something men.......

When the passive aggressiveness starts, get out. It will never get better. Its a woman's way to say she has already checked out and is creating a way to blame it on the man.

 

[Glassguy]

(Some) Women love to play the passive aggressive game. Why do you ask?

So they can take their cheating @ss and turn themselves into the victim. They create fights with you until you lose your cool. You throw something in the house. All of a sudden she is scared to be around you. You might raise your voice. All of a sudden you are a bully and verbally attacked her.

Why do they do this? Its so they can be the victim and get ATTENTION from other men who they can in turn trick into thinking they are something they are not. Last I checked, most women dont tell their dates "I was a wh0re and started fvcking different guys and my husband divorced me". Oh no. Its always "My husband abused me" or "He was a narcissist". Hell I would be a narcissist too with a cheating wife. She offers me no more benefit anymore and she is garbage. I take the garbage out instead of eating from it.

I often think of my ex wife's new husband. They are on about year 5. What a miserable fvck that guy must be about right now.

Passive aggressive behavior.........we could have a great thread on it alone.

 

[In2theGame]

I know this is obvious. But Jesus. I have so many freaking stories of awesome dudes turning into miserable slobs after getting married, then getting divorced, turning back into awesome dudes.


Let me tell you about my 10-year marriage. First two years were great, really it was awesome. Year three she started getting lazy, putting on weight, not keeping the house clean, dinners turned into boxed cr@p of bvll****... I called her out on all that... it was a daily sh1t show. She eventually straightened out and everything was back to normal. Year four was good, not great, but I would have been fine staying married if we kept having year 4. Year 5.... well that's when the passive aggressive bvllsh1t started.... this resulted in a once a week argument about her inability to control my behavior.... but again, I dug in my heels, and she self-corrected. Year 6... we were back to year 4... normal... fine... Year 7 was more sh1t show... again I refused to change to accommodate her insecurities, wasted money in marriage counseling. Year 8, she started seeing shrinks... spending sh1t loads on money on that bullsh1t. Year 9, the kids are born... she descended into massive depression. Every effort on my part to get her to be a decent wife and mom, resulted in me being categorized as selfish and heartless. I actually had one of her shrinks tell me in a counseling session that I was being 'selfish' for not hiring a live in nanny to take care of the girls... Man... I'm not a guy that loses his temper easy, but fvck. I told this jack@ss is it fair that I have a wife that is mentally ill? That she has two infants she can't deal with? Or that I don't have $85,000 a year for a live-in nanny sitting around as disposable income. Later that year I get another call from one of her shrinks that my ex was having thoughts of drowning one of the girls in the tub. That is when I had her committed for a couple of months that cost me over $100k. During this time, my mom came in to take care of the kids while I worked... When the ex was released, mom stayed with us, because I got called back on active duty and sent to Afghanistan for 6 months. Year 10... mom, who didn't want to say anything while I was deployed (she is a smart women) when I got back told me she was going out with male 'friends' on a semi-regular basis. When I confronted the ex, she fessed up... and of course it was all my fault (it's always the man's fault). Any way she was fvcking a couple of dudes she met when she had been committed. Talk about feeling like a fool… paying $100,000 so your wife can get some side d1ck. I filed for divorce... Which was expensive as fvck, because I fought for custody. Meanwhile, she had all her legal expenses paid for by some foundation and group formed to support abused women, and when they didn't pay... the courts required me to pay for her lawyers. Anyway... that process is a long story, which I will skip... and when it was obvious that I was going to prevail they came back and negotiated a deal... we went back and forth, but eventually settling on everything I was asking for plus spousal support, which would be fixed at $1,800 a month, and not tied to my income level, until the girls were out of HS (1.5 more years) and she would not have to pay child support. Now we get along fine really, we do, I consider my ex a friend, we don't argue or fight and can co-parent without any problems.

Now why did I share this? Simple... I can completely understand why any man would just surrender to their wife's machinations. And just turn into a weak piece of sh1t. It is incredibly hard to stand your ground and fight for what you want, because at the end of the day... government has given her A LOT of power... she will be able to surround herself with friends and family and no matter what you do, most of the people in your life will call you a selfish pr1ck. It is emotionally exhausting, and until you are in that situation you have no idea what most married men have to go through. You start off compromising, it starts with little things... then there are more little things... then the little things become big... then the next thing you know is you are the frog in boiling water. I totally see how this can happen. You can be like me... I did not compromise ANYTHING unless I got something in return... when she started trying to control me, I pushed back. I did everything "Red Pill" says you have to do when you are in a LTR, and guess what... it still didn't work with me because I did not have a sane chick I was married to. "Red Pill" philosophy ONLY works with chicks that are not crazy... the problem is most women today are crazy. So, if you are a guy that wants to get married.... well you better learn how to screen out crazy @ss b1tchs and only try to make things work with chicks that REALLY love you. It can be done, but it takes a lot of hard work.

Anyway, sorry for the long tirade.... but every time I see some BS article about some over generalized statement that marriage is good for men I just can not allow that to stand unchallenged. Marriage can be great, but it takes a lot of work... and you have to be ready to raise your wife like she was a teenager that you can not punish.... because she will push your buttons. The only way a marriage is REALLY beneficial to a man is if he is married to a SANE woman that loves you.. never settle for anything less.

This is a horror story. This worries me to a high degree to "settle down". My GF right now is great however there is no crystal ball to show what she can turn into years ahead.