Do you talk to yourself? (Out loud or in your head?)

[Maxtro]

I'm currently reading the eBook "The Popular Life" and I just to to the section where the author talks about self-talk.

Since I don't know how to copy text from a PDF I turned the page into an image and linked it here.

He goes into further detail about how talking to yourself actually slows down your impulses.

Frankly I talk to myself all the time. When I'm alone or don't have anybody around me I'm always stating my thoughts. One of my roommates actually commented on it. Then I realized that I never hear any of them talk to themselves. They probably think I'm some kind of weirdo. I don't talk to myself when I know people can hear me, I'm not that crazy.

Most of the time I'm basically Kevin (Fred Savage) from The Wonder Years always with a voice in my head, no the voice isn't older and talking in past tense.

From now on I'm going to try and completely eliminate talking to myself out loud. Getting rid of my voice in my head will be harder. It's funny that I'm my own best friend and worse enemy. Talking to myself in my head is also a big factor when I'm trying to fall asleep. Self-talk and denying my impulses may also be why I didn't try to make out with a hot girl when we were both drunk and sitting on my couch...

 

[(JJ)]

You definitely should not be striving to eliminate that inner voice. It depends a lot on what KIND of self talk you're doing. Positive self talk is definitely okay. There are studies all over the place that are in place to study the amazing power of the human mind and how thinking positively (by telling yourself positive things or whatever else) can influence your health and well being tremendously.

However, you mentioned that your inner voice talked you out of a makeout session. That type is destructive rather than constructive, and that kind should be eliminated as best as possible. Negative thinking has been shown (in those same studies) to be as effective, or ineffective, as positive thinking. It can ruin your mindset if you're always telling yourself bad things.

Personally, I started talking to myself in 3rd grade when my dad told me to. It wasn't about getting girls, it was about pitching in baseball. He told me that no matter what the situation, to always be telling yourself to focus on the pitch you were about to throw, and how there was no way some dumbas$ like the guy coming to the plate could hit it. This confident mindset of self talk has translated itself into me talking to myself positively (in my head) several times a day at least. I'd say it's effective, and as long as you can cancel out the negative speeches, you'll be alright.

 

[slaog]

People who think too much tend not to be good conversationalists. Theres too much thinking going on to let the conversation flow.


As JJ said positive self talk is good. Its not so good when it turns into a debate with yourself. It takes your focus off whats going on and you will seem to be day dreaming to other people.

 

[penkitten]

as long as you know that the voice in your head is just your own running monalog and not some "other" personality... its all good

 

[Mars]

Yeah I think it is normal to think things over in your head especially when you're just sitting in class or ridding on the bus with nothing else to do.

 

[Waking Up]

i can't shut it off. =(

 

[Kevin Feng]

I think positive affirmations are a positive thing used in the appropriate amount. I think what can be harmful is believing TOO MUCH that self affirmations alone will fix your issue.

Here's the bottom line, you can self talk all you want, but unless you're getting out and taking concrete steps to improve your life or fix your problem, then you're simply not being productive.

I just don't believe in all that new age stuff where they all say "Oh, just tell yourself" to be confident and then magically you're supposed to feel confident. I just believe fundamentally, your "reality" is just a reflection of what you have, and you can only change your reality by implementing hard work.

 

[MisterMcGee]

You gotta be able to talk things through, whether with yourself or others, in order to make sense of whats going on inside your head. It reduces stress, anxiety (in life, not just 'approach anxiety' which is all anyone here thinks about when one mentions anxiety), and so forth. It pulls your life together and lets to see it from a clearer perspective.

 

[Maxtro]

I know that negative self-talk is bad and it's also very hard to control. I'm really trying to stop it as soon as I know it's happening.

Debating with myself is also something that I do and I can tell that it's hampering my progress. I just need to find a way to turn off the opposing view. With it on I end up taking very little risks and missing opportunities.

I wonder if it has affected my conversations. I'll have to see if there is any affect next time I talk to somebody.

Yeah positive affirmations by themselves are just hallow. Once something happens that goes against what you think you are, a break down is likely to fallow. That's why I've never really bothered to get into false affirmations. That's why it's so hard to believe that I am the prize and I'm the prince etc.

I don't know if talking things over in my head reduces anxiety. I actually think it increases anxiety because when I think things over I always come up with the worst case scenario. I also over analyze what's happened in the past and I harbor regrets. I'm still kicking my ass over the fact that I didn't try to kiss that girl and I know that I'll never have another opportunity with her again.