Do you really become the creepy older guy

[Colossus]

I think it depends on the context. Life's not all about bars and clubs. You get over it. If you don't get over it, you are the creepy old man and you should get a life.

And the celebrity examples like Sean Connery and George Clooney are total outliers---they are indeed pimps--but no one is a movie star here.

I do think there is some truth to the creepy old man thing, but again, it's about context. A 45 year old in a nightclub grinding up on college babes?? Creepy. A 45 year old who is outside of that realm in his own scene? Different story. In any case though, your options change with age. Just the way it is guys, cant be banging up on 23 year old tarts forever.

 

[backbreaker]

well hell, what about the 25 year old that is out of his element.

this forum was founded becuase of "creepy" guys.

you don't have to be old to be creepy. being old does not make you creepy. being creepy makes you creepy.


my dad goes to clubs usually about 2 or so times a month still. not night grinder clubs or anything but he goes out.. usually 30 and up type clubs less dancing more drinking.

 

[Amazing]

In todays day and age everything goes. trust me in 30 years when most here are 50-60 things will change even a LOT more, why worry now?

BB, everyone's goal is to find amazing woman and settle down.. there is a problem that we only want that for A FEW YEARS usually. what then?! find another one and do it again?

I suspect double or triple marriages will be a standard in 50 years. come find this post when it happens.

 

[grinder]

This is the “Lonely Old Man” myth. Don’t buy it. It’s an invention to shame men into conforming to what this feminized society expects of you.

I have pulled younger women but the social friction is tremendous. Being seen in public together I get the “is this your daughter” thing often. And they get grief from their girlfriends who rag on them for being losers hanging out with an older man. I can pull a ONS out of town with a much younger woman but it goes no further.

And the number of women who are closer to my age and downright hungry for a man is massive. I certainly would prefer to be bangin 20 yo’s and it is a fact that there are a number of them that would go for a well put together 50yo….but, again, that social friction impedes it.

Younger dudes, do not fear, the number of available women increases with age. If you have your sh*t together you will NEVER EVER EVER NEVER be lonely!! On this I swear a solemn oath!

 

[Lexington]

If you're getting married simply to avoid being lonely later on in life, chances are you're setting yourself up for an absolute disaster.

There are creepy old men, but there are also creepy young men. Regardless of age, your attractiveness depends on value. If you're 22, fat, broke and poorly groomed, you're going to be a hell of a lot more creepy than that well-dressed 52 year old who drives a Porsche and lives in a mansion.

At the age of 50, you might not be as young or as good looking as you once were, but you've probably got a wealth of life experiences and you (hopefully) have a LOT more money and power than when you were 25.

Also, it's not like most guys who are 50+ and married have great sex lives anyway. Chances are, they've been banging the same woman for decades and she's now well past her prime. Hell, after banging her 200+ times, ANY woman will start to get boring.

 

[zekko]

Oops, I forgot Iqqi is a female. Oh well.

I agree with some of the posters here that a lot of whatever "creepiness" there is to guys hitting on younger girls comes from the nightclub environment, which is very youth oriented. I also agree you tend to grow out of going to clubs. At my age I would no more care to walk into a nightclub than go back to high school. I guess some guys thrive on it though, like Backbreaker's dad.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Good advice in this thread so far.

No matter WHAT age you are, you are going to come off as creepy quite often, simply because you are cold approaching. That's a fact; but we do it anyway, because it's not always about preserving the comfort levels of others. You have to take risks sometimes.

That said, the older you are, the more filters you are going to have to pass through at a nightclub--particularly if you don't come in with any youngins. Sure, if you're rich you'll pull some because of that, or if you have really solid game you'll get a few now and again, but really, it's not the optimal setting. You should be drawing women INTO your life (actually, you should be doing this at 25, but you can get away with more now; it gets crucial as you get older).

That means becoming a force to be reckoned with, socially. Get involved in clubs, civic organizations, etc. as mentioned before, and also get involved in fields where girls are more open minded--the arts are where it's at! Music, theatre, photography--the creative ones are going to be the ones that dig older men the most. Plus, there is way less competition. Take some classes... expand your mind and your dating pool! I know guys over 40 that are exclusively dating girls in their twenties--they don't meet em at bars, they meet em at yoga classes, art exhibits, open mics...really, you just have to be willing to to cultivate some non-traditionally male interests. You won't meet em at a beer pong tourney or a football game.

What NOT to do: Deny your age and start dressing and acting like a frat boy. You will NEVER beat them at their own game. The good news is--you CAN beat them at yours by becoming a cultured, confident older man that knows how to reach a girl emotionally.

 

[jophil28]

What NOT to do: Deny your age and start dressing and acting like a frat boy. You will NEVER beat them at their own game. The good news is--you CAN beat them at yours by becoming a cultured, confident older man that knows how to reach a girl emotionally.

One of the most potent weapons to instantly piece a younger woman's shield is a sharp and sophisticated sense of humor.

Clever wit sits well on the older guy, more so than on the younger man .

 

[Joe Stud]

Jophil is right, they actually lower their guard for us older, but still in good shape guys. Keep yourself neat, dress well, look good, smell good, and when in doubt... speak seldomly. Be authoritive, and yet able to laugh at oneself. A guy our age should have no trouble nailing 38-45 yr old HB 8's all day long.

 

[Jordie]

At age 40-50 I would sure as hell hope all of us have grown out of the club scene.

There comes a time when a man has to grow up and act his age.

What we should all remember is that all girls have an inner need to be daddy's girl regardless if their a 20-something college student or a 40-something housewife. This is where age can be an advantage.

No doubt a man has to have his life under control by 30-40 to be the father figure that all women lust after. This means being financially secure, confident, witty and respectful.

Personally speaking, I'm age 27 and girls under 25 really don't do much for me because we have nothing in common.

Hopefully when I hit 40 and if I'm still single, I'll be financially comfortable. In that case, if I wanted a 20-something hottie I'd just go get a prostitute and be done with it. It'd be silly for me to romance a girl that I wouldn't have anything in common with anyways.

 

[5string]

This is from experience. I just turner 54. Although married, I get hit on by the 20-30 yr old chicks. I have a great job, nice home and am a confident guy. Good sense of humor and I'd like to think I'm pretty smart. Bottom line, I don't try to be anything other than I am. The gals like that. Improve your status in life. Be confident. Don't worry about what others think. If you try to be something other than you are, you will fail.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Pandora,
I have just returned from Tango,a real life example....Lets call him Harry...Anglo Type,58 years old slim maybe 5 foot 8 inches tall...good job,presentable but an unfriendly guy,not much conversation,but a Bluddy good dancer...about six months ago he started knocking onto,lets call her Gita,a beautiful German girl,late twenties,blonde,blue eyes,tall,lovely body very pleasant personality...very well educated,finishing her PHd...at first she showed by her body language that she was definitely uninterested in the advances Harry makes to her...because she is still learning though,he presents a dilemma,on one hand she learns Tango,on the other she has to put up with him,so they dance quite often....gradually her attitude softens,she seems to quite enjoy social interaction with him,a month ago they start to leave early,they go to Harries house Gita doesn't leave till two in the morning...An hour ago,I watched them both leave,dancing shoes under their arms,hands joined and big smile all round.....I ask you,is Harry a creepy old Man?

 

[zekko]

At age 40-50 I would sure as hell hope all of us have grown out of the club scene.

There comes a time when a man has to grow up and act his age.

I totally agree with this. Unless clubbing becomes part of your personality like is probably the case with Backbreaker's dad. If you enjoy going, then do it. For me though, no thanks.

The vast majority of pickup material is written for picking up in clubs though. And I've come to realize that the vast majority of pickup material is written for the young man who hasn't come into his own yet and doesn't know how to be social.

I have pulled younger women but the social friction is tremendous. Being seen in public together I get the “is this your daughter” thing often. And they get grief from their girlfriends who rag on them for being losers hanging out with an older man.

When I met my current girlfriend she was 27 and I was 43. Neither one of us have ever experienced any sort of this social friction at all. You're probably talking about girls in their younger 20s though.

 

[Julian]

I will be dead before ever becoming old let alone creepy

 

[jophil28]

I will be dead before ever becoming old let alone creepy

Nah, being older is great fun .

 

[Zarky]

Guys who are old and creepy were almost always young and creepy too. Keep yourself in shape and keep up with the culture (eg., music, tv, fashion, technology, etc) and you'll be banging new chicks into your 80s.