Do you plan on ever getting married?

[lookyoung]

There are very few quality woman out there now a days. Is is just me or is anyone else on this forum having the same problems. I date quite a bit and it seems that all these woman have flaws. Sometimes I feel that I am looking for the perfect woman that will never be there.

For every 25 girls I date I find one that I could actually make my GF. Fvck the way these brauds are its not even worth it to get married anymore. And if it wasn't for having kids(I love kids) I would be content on never getting married.

Is it just me or anyone here have the same problem? To my fellow don juans who are 30 and still single do you guys plan on ever getting married?

 

[reset]

I'll get married if I meet someone I want to stay with and is right for me, otherwise I wouldn't marry her, lol.

I just hope to god that when that day comes it's for the right reasons and with the right girl and not just to "get married".

 

[Bible_Belt]

I was married seven years. Marriages come and go; it's not really a forever thing any more. Having kids together is a different story - that is a bigger commitment than marriage.

 

[aliasguy]

I am sorry to say that I can find NO reason to get married ever again in this social climate. As BB wrote, it's no longer a true "forever" thing. It's a CONTRACT. A sh*tty contract. One that can be BROKEN by either party, for real or whimsical reasons. And when it is BROKEN, the courts get to decide what happens to you, your kids, your stuff, and your money. Notably, marriage puts the more responsible, harder-working, faithful, stable party at significantly HIGHER risk. That one is the one "punished." The f*cked-up partner "wins." (This goes both ways--- man OR woman)

Marriage in this country (USA) today is, at best, a thin shadow of what it SHOULD be; and at worst, it's a mockery, a joke, and a punitive arrangement designed to redistribute wealth.

I've done it. I'm sorry I did. I'd advise all men to not marry. Really. It's a black hole. There are NO true benefits.

I'm all for going down to some church and making some promises before God about your love and devotion to a woman with whom you wish to have a family. But the system is BROKEN. The state being involved is the problem.

Don't do it. EVER.

You can have kids, live together, etc., in today's society without social scorn. Why marry? Because SHE wants it? So what? It's a bad deal. What does it do FOR a man? Nothing.

 

[KontrollerX]

No.

With the way its set up to screw you over severely when and if things go wrong its just insanity to engage in it.

I think it was aliasguy who said that when he was getting divorced he frustrated his lawyer with his attitude and the lawyer looked at him and said you are expecting fairness and justice but you will get neither.

If you connect with a chick just live with her and keep it going for as long as you both want to and can, there's no real reason to go after the state sponsored contract other than to play out a bullsh!t societal constructed mass romantic fantasy of eternal love.

Plus there's the b.s social stigma that if you get divorced there is something wrong with you which makes getting back into the dating game hard when it ends.

So yeah keep the fantasies to the Hollywood movies and focus on protecting yourself the best in the real world.

 

[grinder]

We’ve had some massive threads on marriage and the majority came down against it.

For those like me, who are older and had a FEW marriages it’s an easy call. FVVVVVKKKK NOOOOO!!

But if you are just 30 and never been married the social pressure to get married can be intense. Then you get the insinuations that somehow there is something wrong with you since you are not married.

If I had it to do over again I do not think I would get married. I might have a kid or two, but no marriage. The law should have no place in people’s personal lives.

Now, let me scare you with my reality. My second marriage was good for at least 15 years. BUT, my x changed, became addicted to drugs, went crazy, basically, and literally became a criminal.

This “till death do us part” sh*t was developed when the average life span was in the upper 20’s. It no longer fits, people simply change too much and live too long.

 

[romangod]

Is it just me or anyone here have the same problem? To my fellow don juans who are 30 and still single do you guys plan on ever getting married?

I just turned 49 and have never been married. I was engaged one time(didn't work out) and was close a second time (3 yr. LTR). My gut feeling was always against it. It was correct. I had too much "growing" to do and I'm sure I would have ended up broke and in divorce court. Instead, I'm retired at 47(long story) and am financially and emotionally independant with a great group of friends and great family and am free to explore life's mysteries while growing as a human being. Meanwhile, many of my married friends suffer in silence as they try and manoeuvre the legal and emotional minefield of modern marriage. I have compassion for them.

Having said that, I'm not closed to the idea of getting married. I spend summers in Eastern Europe with family I first met 7 years ago. If I marry it will be with a woman from there who still knows what it is to be a good wife. I refuse to settle for anything less than a traditional marriage.


.

 

[Latinoman]

There are very few quality woman out there now a days. Is is just me or is anyone else on this forum having the same problems. I date quite a bit and it seems that all these woman have flaws. Sometimes I feel that I am looking for the perfect woman that will never be there.

For every 25 girls I date I find one that I could actually make my GF. Fvck the way these brauds are its not even worth it to get married anymore. And if it wasn't for having kids(I love kids) I would be content on never getting married.

Is it just me or anyone here have the same problem? To my fellow don juans who are 30 and still single do you guys plan on ever getting married?

Women definition of what is a Quality Man is different to our definition of what is a Quality Woman.

I would say that when viewing both definitions...there are many more "quality women" out there than there are men.

And that says a lot.

So...who would get the "quality women"? They outnumber the "quality men"...so, I'm assuming the quality men will get them. It is a matter of looking at the right places.

Another thing (this is for Last Man Standing)...virginity does not equal "quality" in my book.

 

[aliasguy]

Women definition of what is a Quality Man is different to our definition of what is a Quality Woman.

I would say that when viewing both definitions...there are many more "quality women" out there than there are men.

And that says a lot.

So...who would get the "quality women"? They outnumber the "quality men"...so, I'm assuming the quality men will get them. It is a matter of looking at the right places.

Another thing (this is for Last Man Standing)...virginity does not equal "quality" in my book.

Who cares what the relative ratio of "quality" women is to "quality" men? The bottom-line question of the OP is "DO YOU EVER GET MARRIED?" (Answer = "no." No matter how much "quality" the woman HAS.)

Meet and keep a "quality" woman? Yeah, good. I agree. But DON'T get married.

Virginity has NOTHING to do with all this. I agree.

 

[Latinoman]

By the way...in today's legal environment...the man has more to lose if he choses the wrong woman for marriage.

 

[Latinoman]

Who cares what the relative ratio of "quality" women is to "quality" men? The bottom-line question of the OP is "DO YOU EVER GET MARRIED?" (Answer = "no." No matter how much "quality" the woman HAS.)

.

"There are very few quality woman out there now a days. " That was his first statement...and I was replying to that statement.

I am divorced and have couple kids...I have not a strong desire to be married at this particular moment.

 

[aliasguy]

A man has more to lose if he chooses ANY woman to marry.

 

[aliasguy]

"There are very few quality woman out there now a days. " That was his first statement...and I was replying to that statement.

I am divorced and have couple kids...I have not a strong desire to be married at this particular moment.

I understand now. Sorry.

 

[Deep Dish]

Do you plan on ever getting married?

I'm curious, why must this question always take the form of this question? The question is always want to get married rather than will. See, for me, the two issues are completely separate. Yes, all be told, I want to get married, but I don't think I ever will, fate be told, for several reasons beyond the scope of this inquiry.

 

[Latinoman]

I understand now. Sorry.

That's cool.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I think I was born in the wrong place and wrong century otherwise I would likely have already been married. Maybe if I go to a backwards third world country where women know their place and duty to please a man, then, maybe in that case it may be easier to find a servile wife, or but think this may be very difficult in NA society where women do not know their place.

 

[aliasguy]

I'm curious, why must this question always take the form of this question? The question is always want to get married rather than will. See, for me, the two issues are completely separate. Yes, all be told, I want to get married, but I don't think I ever will, fate be told, for several reasons beyond the scope of this inquiry.

When I first read this, I thought: HOW STUPID!!


But I was wrong. I understand the sentiment. I went through this EXACT thing. I wanted a marriage, a family. I thought had gotten it. It went to sh*t. My fault/her fault, whatever.

I was being Ward freakin' Cleaver!! (there's both good and bad in that!!!) I WANTED that marriage to work. I wanted a happy family, and happy, well-developed kids. Not to be.

It would be GREAT if marriage worked. I could do it. Many/most men here could, too. I was working hard, and when I wasn't, I was home with the wife and kids. I was doing my best, and doing it RIGHT. I WANTED that life. But it was all B.S. in the end.

I WANTED a good marriage, but it's damn near impossible to pull it off in today's world.

"Would" I get married again --- if things were different, YES. But they AREN'T.

"Will" I get married again? NO.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

"Do you plan on ever getting married?"

My first answer to this question is NO.

Because I do not have "marriage" as a goal in my life. Neither do I have an "exclusive relationship" as a goal in my life either.

However, I remain OPEN to the concept of marriage if and/or whenever the right woman for me comes along.

So far, I have found that my core-nature, and the core-nature of ANY woman that I encounter is the most revealing factor in determining exactly what kind of relationship we can have-----AND also, how deep and how fulfilling a BOND we can or should forge together.

But if I find a woman that meets my criteria, then my answer would be YES. I would be open to the idea of "wifing her up".

 

[joekerr31]

people have the desire to get married because they want their life to 'mean' something. they see their 'heroes' - whether some football star, ceo, politician, etc. making some speech and thanking their wives and they think 'wow, despite all his acheivements the thing he values the most is his wife. marriage must be the best thing ever.'

but the reality is that its all PR. half the time these marriages are a total mess behind the scenes - but these guys always thank their wives because its the politically correct thing to do. meanwhile they give no thought to the brainwashing their are doing to men who look up to them.

as for the greater question. yes, i would love to get married and have kids, but ONLY with a woman that was right for me. not just right for now, but a woman with the maturity wherein i could see myself sharing my life with her as the years went on.

despite seeing first hand many marriages turn in to an utter disaster, i still believe that marriage can be a highly positive thing. but marriages unfortunately seem to either be hit or miss - either they really work or they really don't work.

and i believe it comes down to the maturity and compatibility of the two parties involved.

but like VU, i don't 'plan' on getting married, but im very open to it with the right woman.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm curious, why must this question always take the form of this question? The question is always want to get married rather than will. See, for me, the two issues are completely separate. Yes, all be told, I want to get married, but I don't think I ever will, fate be told, for several reasons beyond the scope of this inquiry.

It's because the majority of men see marriage as a goal, something on their list of "to do's." It's is as if the act of getting married is more important than meeting a woman of quality and then realizing she's worth marrying. The norm is to put the cart in front of the cow; er, horse.