Do you like making girls feel special?

[n00bPimp]

If the answer is yes, you're on the right path and success will come fast. If you had to think about the answer then read this.
>> Making people, specially girls, feel special is the best way of "giving value". So next time you're out, have the intent in mind of making girls feel special. And dont do it because you want something from them, they will see right thru it. Instead do it because you WANT to make them feel special. This is what a truly ego-less person does. And they are the ones that get laid. <<

 

[Acq]

mnn, I like making girls feel less confident and special about themselves, and making them feel special about "me". So according to your logic I will masturbate til death.

 

[n00bPimp]

Trying to make them feel special about you is taking value. In other words you're doing somethign to get something from them. It works, but it requires a whole set of gimmiks to show them they should feel 'special about you'. It also comes from the ego, which is unsustainable because its always looking for more and gets badly hurt when it doesnt get more or when it looses.
On the other hand, when a woman believes that you're making her feel special because its who you are and its what you like to do, and that that you're not doing it because you want something from her, thats the sweet spot.

 

[zekko]

Trying to make them feel special about you is taking value

That's a good point. It's seeking validation, which is supposedly unnattractive and uncomfortable for the girl, because you're wanting something from her.

On the other hand, when a woman believes that you're making her feel special because its who you are and its what you like to do, and that that you're not doing it because you want something from her, thats the sweet spot.

If you're a guy who goes around making women feel special and she knows it, doesn't that make her feel less special? I mean, if this is the case then she isn't REALLY special at all, is she? You could interchange her with any other attractive woman and you'd still be trying to make her feel special.

This is just like an AW flirting with you and flattering with you. She does this with every other guy so does it make you feel special?

It's interesting that you want to make the girl feel special but your signature is about indifference.

 

[n00bPimp]

That's a good point. It's seeking validation, which is supposedly unnattractive and uncomfortable for the girl, because you're wanting something from her.


If you're a guy who goes around making women feel special and she knows it, doesn't that make her feel less special? I mean, if this is the case then she isn't REALLY special at all, is she? You could interchange her with any other attractive woman and you'd still be trying to make her feel special.

This is just like an AW flirting with you and flattering with you. She does this with every other guy so does it make you feel special?

It's interesting that you want to make the girl feel special but your signature is about indifference.

You make a perfectly logical argument, but that in itself is the flaw. The fact that you're using logic to understand social interactions.

So here's an example. Lets say you have behaved in a way that made a woman feel special and wanted, and you have made your intentions clear with her right off
the bat. She's feeling special and wanted. Since you make everyone feel special
because that is who you are, she can feel that you're sincere and dont need anything from her. Then lets say she hears or sees you being the same way with another woman. Will she be turned off because she found out she wasn't that special after all? Or will she start working for your attention because she can see you have abundance?

Yes, a man might be turned off after he finds out a girl gets down with everyone
and not just him, but a man is also able to pee standing up.


Men and and women are not the same. And the differences go beyond physical
qualities.

 

[pipe007]

I agree, If you are man of high value and high self regard, you go around in life sharing your value in general with everybody

its not that you like to make people feel better on purpose, but you do it automatically by your energy, your passion and the way you interact with them

you have such a postive "vibe" "energy" "optimism" that is so contagious that people just light up by your charisma.

so 100% right, when a girl is next to you, she should be feeling your value, you are sharing your positive character and she likes it,, IT MAKES HER FEEL GOOD!!!

she doesnt have to give you anything, because you DONT need it, you feel good enough as you are, you love yourself more than she could ever do.

ITS who you are, its having solid rock identity which reels people in.
no need to take energy or value from others because that comes from a place of lack and neediness wich repells people away.

we should have a whole discussion about this topic because people could benefit a lot from this...
nonreactiveness, value giving, not value seeking.

 

[zekko]

Yes, a man might be turned off after he finds out a girl gets down with everyone
and not just him, but a man is also able to pee standing up.

So you're saying that the woman is unable to see through the deception, or if she does she is unable to seperate what she sees logically with what she feels emotionally.

she doesnt have to give you anything, because you DONT need it, you feel good enough as you are, you love yourself more than she could ever do

Here's my problem with this whole "feel good within yourself, you don't need anyone else's approval, love yourself and that's all you need" philosophy.
This is just my personal struggle:

When I get too deeply into this frame of mind, I take it too literally. I will tend to not seek out interactions, because hey I'm happy within myself, I don't need anybody else. I don't need to talk to that hot chick to feel good about myself. Because the truth is I don't. I'll just get wrapped up in whatever current project or interest I have and forget about her.

So if you don't need to take anything from the girl, if you really don't need the girl, where's the motivation to talk to her?

I understand the concept that you want to give value instead of take it, but I think the truth is that when you interact with people (inclluding girls), you are actually giving AND receiving value. That sounds healthy to me.
The whole "give value only" idea sounds a bit half thought out.
It's not like you only talk to people as if it were a charitable act on your part.

 

[perseverance]

I only believe in one type of special, and that's special needs.

No woman is special, no one is special. When I hear a man say a woman is 'special' I automatically think of Radiohead's Creep song.

 

[Reyaj]

If the answer is yes, you're on the right path and success will come fast. If you had to think about the answer then read this.
>> Making people, specially girls, feel special is the best way of "giving value". So next time you're out, have the intent in mind of making girls feel special. And dont do it because you want something from them, they will see right thru it. Instead do it because you WANT to make them feel special. This is what a truly ego-less person does. And they are the ones that get laid. <<

AFC Crap....

Even if you make a girl feel special that just makes her feel happy, warm, cuddley, NOT HORNEY!

So if you want lots of hugs and weak kisses then by all means follow that. But if you are looking to score this is AFC advice

 

[zekko]

AFC Crap....

Even if you make a girl feel special that just makes her feel happy, warm, cuddley, NOT HORNEY!

So if you want lots of hugs and weak kisses then by all means follow that. But if you are looking to score this is AFC advice

I completely disagree with this. This sounds like someone who has been reading too much PUA material. A girl can feel happy, warm, cuddly, AND horny. In fact, all those feelings go together very well, and very naturally. There's nothing AFC about any of it.

There's more than one way to skin a cat. PUA gurus would have you believe women only get horny when you are being a hard ass. Pure BS.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Right, there is a very fine line between success and failure in this area.

To answer your question bluntly, yes, I think it's essential.

However, where many people, myself included, go wrong, or in my case have gone wrong, is confusing making a girl feel special with just being overly "nice."

For example, if a girl you're with mentions that she really likes the look of a dress or something, not asking for it but just mentioning it, then say a few months later it's her birthday, if you remember that exact item and buy it, then it shows you listen, you care about her etc, you're not like every other idiot that ignores everything she says and buys her chocolate and flowers etc. That is good. As is rewarding her for stuff, say she got a job promotion, cooking her her favourite meal (and more to the point knowing what her favourite meal is) is never ever a bad thing.

But people over do it. Women should feel special when it's deserved. If she's been a ***** lately then she should be treated as such, not showered with attention etc to try and bring her out of it. Unless you have done something seriously bad to provoke said *****iness, which is usually not the case, then you should do nothing to bring her out of it. Doing so will make her realise you're scared of losing her, etc etc, which then destroys the whole "challenge" aspect of a woman's mind, which then often spells game over. There are a few mistakes I made with my ex along such lines, I can see them for what they are now.

Basically, you make a girl feel special by showing her she's lucky to have such a brilliant boyfriend. You make her special by showing you listen, actually treat her as a human being not an object and actually see a difference between her and every other girl. That is not being AFC, that is being above and beyond what most men are capable of. But if she doesn't deserve that kind of treatment then she should not get it. The problem most people make is deciding when that treatment is or isn't deserved, because most girls will expect it 24/7, even though if you give it to them 24/7 you end up on the wrong end of a "we need to talk" style text message.

 

[teacha]

this place got so many fvcking theorists.

 

[perseverance]

this place got so many fvcking theorists.

It's good to read different perspectives, but my main problem with this site is the fact it treats all women as the same, devoid of any individuality, emotions or differences from one another.

I think if most men on here (myself included) focused more on getting out there and trying different things rather than debating about which methods are right and which are wrong, we probably wouldn't need this site.

I mean most of my friends are doing well with women and I doubt they've needed SoSuave for assistance.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

I think if most men on here (myself included) focused more on getting out there and trying different things rather than debating about which methods are right and which are wrong, we probably wouldn't need this site.

I mean most of my friends are doing well with women and I doubt they've needed SoSuave for assistance.

The majority of us have were drawn to this site either due to problems getting girls, or as a result of being dumped etc. I actually came for both reasons (at different times.)

You're right that society ticks along and most people never read this stuff, but there's nothing wrong with giving yourself an edge.

Personally, I do not believe in a blanket theory that will work on every woman, it's rubbish. I have no doubt that there are women that exist which you could smother with attention etc, act totally AFC, and you'd still never get dumped. But the point is that the advice on here will work on the majority of girls, and to be honest most of the stuff I've put to use on here has rang true to an extent.

It will never be an exact science, but there are theories and ideas to give you a head start. My success with women has improved since reading this site, so I tend to think it's a good thing.

The problem lies when people are looking for definate answers for stuff, which is ridiculous- how on earth could any of us tell someone what is going through a girl's head that we've never met? People can, however, give advice based on the details that the OP posts.

 

[Ease]

Huge amount of bull**** right here.

I believe the way forward is treating them like they are not special 70% and special 30% of the time.

I too must have to masturbate till i die

 

[n00bPimp]

So if you don't need to take anything from the girl, if you really don't need the girl, where's the motivation to talk to her?

The thing about feeling inner happiness is that it motivates you to make others feel good. Just for the sake of sharing this energy. I know it might not make a lot of sense but take it for face value.

See the thing about the ego is that it always wants something in return. If there's no motivation it won't take action. The wonderful thing about inner happiness is that it legitimately inspires you to give to others without expecting anything in return, and it brings more into your life than when you act thru the ego expecting something in return.

 

[PapiChulo]

The thing about feeling inner happiness is that it motivates you to make others feel good. Just for the sake of sharing this energy. I know it might not make a lot of sense but take it for face value.

See the thing about the ego is that it always wants something in return. If there's no motivation it won't take action. The wonderful thing about inner happiness is that it legitimately inspires you to give to others without expecting anything in return, and it brings more into your life than when you act thru the ego expecting something in return.

Keep giving than and get nothing in return.

I am interested into people giving me something back for a change simply because I have such a good heart. It's all for the wrong reasons. Majority of people are simply blind that you are doing certain things for yourself and they feed off it like kids in a candy store, including building their egos up.

I am more with Luis on that. He seems to be dwelling on the middle ground between the two extremes.

 

[n00bPimp]

Huge amount of bull**** right here.

I believe the way forward is treating them like they are not special 70% and special 30% of the time.

I too must have to masturbate till i die

This is why I've separated myself from 'the community'. It attempts to summarize human relationships with a few simple formulas and concepts.
In reality, it is only when you stop trying to apply rules that you really start to understand. It is when you let go of the need to understand women that you start to attract them.

 

[ebracer05]

we should have a whole discussion about this topic because people could benefit a lot from this...
nonreactiveness, value giving, not value seeking.

I agree... great topic

 

[PapiChulo]

This is why I've separated myself from 'the community'. It attempts to summarize human relationships with a few simple formulas and concepts.
In reality, it is only when you stop trying to apply rules that you really start to understand. It is when you let go of the need to understand women that you start to attract them.

It sounds like this theory is missing something.

We invent rules, but that doenst mean that we dont also get to break them from time to time. he he Thats where mastery comes into play!

There is quite a bit of knowledge based on philosophy and psychological analysis, it's not like the rules have no grounds.