Do you have any friends who keep the frame and command respect from their gf?

[Trader]

All of my friends who have gfs, you can clearly tell that the girl is in control, and owns the frame, since I hang around them a lot.

I've seen signs of disrespect from the gf to the guy, such as dismissive looks, interrupting him, and being very stern with him in front of everyone.

What's funny is that I usually have to be the one that sternly puts the girl in her place: i.e. 'Let him talk, it's not your turn.' 'Give him credit, don't blame him for everything.' That shuts her up for awhile.

Do you guys see the same thing around you?

Seems very few relationships exist where the guy is leading. Do you attribute that more to failure on the guy's part to lead, or the girl simply being failing at being submissive.

 

[wjh]

American women suck.

 

[Iceberg]

A lot of my friends are sissies, so yeah. They just bend over and take it.

The thing about me is, a relationship with me won't work if the girl is disrespecting me. I don't have the ability to sugarcoat it. I can't just tell myself, "Oh, she's just strong-willed."

So the girls who stick with me, basically, are the ones who don't act like d-bags. And I'm not looking to dominate a woman. If I have to "put a woman in her place," it probably means that she's not mentally/emotionally wired the way I need a girlfriend to be. I'm not looking to tell a grown woman how to act like one. She gets out of line, then she can go find a man who takes that kinda crap.

I'm an awesome guy. I shouldn't have to command her respect, I've earned it by not being like most of these AFC clowns in the world. My last chick tried playing those games with me....it lasted about 2.5 months. I walked out on her in a party, and haven't spoke to her since. Boom.

 

[squirrels]

A lot of my friends are sissies, so yeah. They just bend over and take it.

The thing about me is, a relationship with me won't work if the girl is disrespecting me. I don't have the ability to sugarcoat it. I can't just tell myself, "Oh, she's just strong-willed."

So the girls who stick with me, basically, are the ones who don't act like d-bags. And I'm not looking to dominate a woman. If I have to "put a woman in her place," it probably means that she's not mentally/emotionally wired the way I need a girlfriend to be. I'm not looking to tell a grown woman how to act like one. She gets out of line, then she can go find a man who takes that kinda crap.

I'm an awesome guy. I shouldn't have to command her respect, I've earned it by not being like most of these AFC clowns in the world. My last chick tried playing those games with me....it lasted about 2.5 months. I walked out on her in a party, and haven't spoke to her since. Boom.

I like it.

 

[zekko]

All of my friends who have gfs, you can clearly tell that the girl is in control

I agree most of the guys I know, the females seem to control them just through sheer b!tchiness. Bear in mind, I'm older so in a lot of these cases I'm talking about their wives. In some cases the guy is just too immature to make the decisions, or can't be trusted with the finances so the girl has to do it.

I have the frame in my relationship. I don't feel like I "command" so much as she trusts my judgement and relies on me to do the right thing by us (we cohabitate). I'd like to say this is because I'm so alpha, but it's just the dynamic of the relationship. The biggest factor in this is that I chose the right girl (and she chose the right guy of course).

That said, even though we are very stable I know anything can happen and it could be over tomorrow. That's the frame of mind I have every day.

 

[speed dawg]

I agree most of the guys I know, the females seem to control them just through sheer b!tchiness.

Probably the reason that the women are b1tches to begin with. Wussy husbands.

 

[zekko]

Probably the reason that the women are b1tches to begin with. Wussy husbands.

Possibly. Women tend toward b!tchiness though. For a long time I thought they were all that way and there was no getting around it.

And again, in a lot of cases the man simply cannot be trusted to be in charge (because he's all id or something like that), so the woman has to take control. I guess you could call that a wussy husband, but it's really more a case of incompetence.

 

[Colossus]

A lot of my friends are sissies, so yeah. They just bend over and take it.

The thing about me is, a relationship with me won't work if the girl is disrespecting me. I don't have the ability to sugarcoat it. I can't just tell myself, "Oh, she's just strong-willed."

So the girls who stick with me, basically, are the ones who don't act like d-bags. And I'm not looking to dominate a woman. If I have to "put a woman in her place," it probably means that she's not mentally/emotionally wired the way I need a girlfriend to be. I'm not looking to tell a grown woman how to act like one. She gets out of line, then she can go find a man who takes that kinda crap.

I'm an awesome guy. I shouldn't have to command her respect, I've earned it by not being like most of these AFC clowns in the world. My last chick tried playing those games with me....it lasted about 2.5 months. I walked out on her in a party, and haven't spoke to her since. Boom.

WIN, and x2.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to be putting a girl in her place all day long. Once you have had sufficient horrible experiences to harden your balls into stone, AND once you have been with a woman who does treat you with respect, you wont tolerate bratty bullsh1t behavior.

The caveat is that ANY woman is going to need to feel your stern hand from time to time. Once you get into a relationship they just learn how to push your buttons and will start testing you. And when you put your foot down they will get upset. Too bad, they need it. If you cave when they get upset and say you're sorry, you're fvcked. This is a 'pick your battles' thing though...it takes experience to decide when to be stern and when you just have a spoiled brat that cant be taught.

 

[boomerick]

A --- f*ckin" --- men !!!!

 

[Kailex]

Maybe it's because my culture is somewhat different, but I'd say that 75% of my friends command respect and have the complete frame from their girlfriends.

But it could be part of the genetic and cultural makeup of being a hispanic where machismo reigns supreme.

I've only seen a few men that were dominated by their wives, but these women were VERY stubborn and headstrong... and pretty much, were women who strung up their men via early pregnancies.

And to be honest, I'd like to think that I control the frame in my own budding relationship. Our first night out, she somewhat seemed to disrespect my manner of dressing. I hit her back with neg-hits and then pretty much cut the first date short. She pretty much got the picture and now all we have are playful putdowns, but I don't put up with crap like that on a constant basis, specially when you know it's on a personal level.

I don't want to say it's an American thing because I am an American and all of my friends are as well, so maybe it's a cultural thing?

I've seen many relationships amongst people I know as well where the woman SEEMS to think she is the head of the household but you could tell very easily that it was whatever HE said that was law.

 

[Trader]

Possibly. Women tend toward b!tchiness though. For a long time I thought they were all that way and there was no getting around it.

And again, in a lot of cases the man simply cannot be trusted to be in charge (because he's all id or something like that), so the woman has to take control. I guess you could call that a wussy husband, but it's really more a case of incompetence.

I think you are onto something. Even if a man is willing to take charge, if he is just not competent and screws up, the girl will look down on him too.

I know one personal example of this.

I stand by the assertion that as a man, you must always be *smarter* than a girl. No girl can respect a man who is less competent than her.

 

[jophil28]

A lot of my friends are sissies, so yeah. They just bend over and take it.

The thing about me is, a relationship with me won't work if the girl is disrespecting me. I don't have the ability to sugarcoat it. I can't just tell myself, "Oh, she's just strong-willed."

So the girls who stick with me, basically, are the ones who don't act like d-bags. And I'm not looking to dominate a woman. If I have to "put a woman in her place," it probably means that she's not mentally/emotionally wired the way I need a girlfriend to be. I'm not looking to tell a grown woman how to act like one. She gets out of line, then she can go find a man who takes that kinda crap.

I'm an awesome guy. I shouldn't have to command her respect, I've earned it by not being like most of these AFC clowns in the world. My last chick tried playing those games with me....it lasted about 2.5 months. I walked out on her in a party, and haven't spoke to her since. Boom.

Nice mindset.
A Relationship is not meant to be an endless training exercise.
However, it is unrealistic to believe that a western women will always act in ways that fit your prescription given the social shifts in power in the past 40 years.

Knowing exactly what you want and being willing to walk away if and when she does not respond to "encouragement" is key.

 

[Warrior74]

What's funny is that I usually have to be the one that sternly puts the girl in her place: i.e. 'Let him talk, it's not your turn.' 'Give him credit, don't blame him for everything.' That shuts her up for awhile.

This is the way to make another guys wife's gina tingle. I know from experience. It sets you up as dominate over him AND her. I've had friend's wives say that they wish he would grow a backbone or be more like me in these situations...but they honestly don't mean it because it would mean relinquishing power. I've called a few of them on it and a few have admitted it.

 

[jophil28]

I stand by the assertion that as a man, you must always be *smarter* than a girl. No girl can respect a man who is less competent than her.

Indeed, however most LTRs and marriages that I have seen in friends and colleagues have not had "respect" as a primary ingredient, nor has the man regarded himself as desiring or worthy of respect from her, let alone subjection by her.

Most of the guys I know drifted into, or were pulled into, marriage for a variety of (unconscious ) reasons. Most are grateful to have a supply of pvssy, some just married because "she wanted it ", and many seem to merely want a substitute mommy to take care of him. IT often appears to me that she chose him BECAUSE of his willingness to kowtow to her.

All of these marriages appeared to me to be a slow tortuous death of his spirit.
In all these cases that I can think of, he has handed her the reigns and the keys to everything and is willing to act, and be treated like the oldest, biggest child in the family.

I know only two men who would pass the SS tests. One is a professional soldier and the most standup moral guy I ever met, and the other is a fellow Elec Eng who is also a natural leader of men.
Both of these men command respect from other men and MOST women, not because of some chest beating "alpha " huffing and puffing, but rather because of their willingness to take charge and make the hard decisions . Both are regarded as men of INTELLECT and action - men who consider their options and choose the best available.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I know only two men who would pass the SS tests.

One is a professional soldier and the most standup moral guy I ever met, and the other is a fellow Elec Eng who is also a natural leader of men.

Both of these men command respect from other men and MOST women, not because of some chest beating "alpha " huffing and puffing, but rather because of their willingness to take charge and make the hard decisions. Both are regarded as men of INTELLECT and action - men who consider their options and choose the best available.

Why Electrical Engineer??? About soldiers I´ve seen the opposite. They are tough with other men, but mushy with girls.

It´s strange I tend to be firm (an ass sometimes) with girls while with men I tend to be a people pleaser. Maybe beacuse I was never friends with my dad. Masculine contact is important so you´re not emasculated.

 

[Jitterbug]

Just one, although he just broke up with his GF and will be my wingman again. Finally I'm gonna have a decent wing!

Most of them just suck. One at the other end of the spectrum needs permission from his GF to touch her arse.

The attached girls I know usually talk about their BFs as if they're pets.

 

[Rescue Mission]

WARNING NEWSLASH WARNING NEWSFLASH!!!

despite the illusion that the media and society in this country try to present to everyone, guys in relationships are NOT happy......they will lie through their teeth to everyone (friends, family, ect.) telling them how happy they are to have a committed girlfriend.......but they are only "happy" because they feel that they are "doing the right thing" by committing to some random controlling cvnt of a female - this is otherwise known to all of us as THE MATRIX.

yea yea bla bla bla we have all heard this matrix talk before.........bottom line is, ALL OF US have these friends who are with girlfriends who do not fully respect them and who run the show..........it's up to us to learn from our friends' mistakes and not fall for the same trap

 

[jophil28]

WARNING NEWSLASH WARNING NEWSFLASH!!!

despite the illusion that the media and society in this country try to present to everyone, guys in relationships are NOT happy......they will lie through their teeth to everyone (friends, family, ect.) telling them how happy they are to have a committed girlfriend.......but they are only "happy" because they feel that they are "doing the right thing" by committing to some random controlling cvnt of a female - this is otherwise known to all of us as THE MATRIX.

yea yea bla bla bla we have all heard this matrix talk before.........bottom line is, ALL OF US have these friends who are with girlfriends who do not fully respect them and who run the show..........it's up to us to learn from our friends' mistakes and not fall for the same trap

More details in the late news at 11 ..? Ha ha..

I disagree that that media and society do not try to create an illusion that men are happy in relationships - they could fukking care less. Women's feeling count, men's feelings are irrelevant .
When was the last time you watched a TV show in which mens' marital happiness was being examined, or their unhappiness was being lamented ?
Why is this issue ignored as a social concern? I am not really sure , but it is our fault as individuals if we ignore it in our personal lives.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=kEjVnkk9ezM

You'll laugh your ass off, but pay attention at about 1:05.

 

[Trader]

but they are only "happy" because they feel that they are "doing the right thing" by committing to some random controlling cvnt of a female - this is otherwise known to all of us as THE MATRIX.

The question is, *why* do guys let their gfs walk over them? I agree part of it is due to being programmed by the Matrix: they think this is how relationships should work.

But sexuality is natural. You have what it takes to be a man naturally. Why is that sexuality (i.e. dominance, taking charge) is not finding a way to be naturally expressed in the relationship?

Someone insightful said that since men are basically neutered in their relationships, the only way they can *get off* is thru porn and watching sports. Those are the rare moments where they can feel like a man.