Do you guys know what you are attracted to in a woman?

[AgonyUncle]

Older topic, but would like to add my 2 cents. She needs to be in good shape, and obviously I need to be attracted to her. But it also depends what you looking for. LTR requirements are different to FB's. Open protest to possible Mrs AgonyUncle

1) Please have a hobby woman. Shopping and dinner parties dont count. Something that is yours and yours alone. Its unhealthy for people to have zero interest outside of gossip magazines, spending money and ****ing

2) Drama queens can **** right off. This is why you need a hobby

3) Needs to at least have an interest in something else other then cosmetics and fashion. Surely you have an interest in something outside dressing up and putting make up 24/7. Surely.

4) Family orientated. If you think the idea of staying home and rasing kids is offensive to women, then be sure to pay 50% of the bill and dont expect me to call you back. Unless we already ****ing, in which case Ill hump you but wont take you to dinner that often anymore.

5) No party girls thanks. You have been ****ed and chucked so many times, the thought of me sticking my **** in you makes me want to puke. I shag *****s, I dont get invloved with them.

6) Dont bust my balls because I play a lot of sports. Exercise destresses me and keeps me in shape. Get a hobby if you are bored and need to kill time. Or join a club of some sort yourself. Its good for you. I promise.

7) Accept my friends. They are going no where. They are also never going to change their behaviour drastically. You dont need to like them, but your approval of them is not required either.

Wow, quite a shopping list. I have just realised that what I have asked for is probably so rare, Im on a crusade I cant complete. Is it so hard to find a family orientated girl with her own hobbies who wont bust my balls because I enjoy sports, likes or ignores my friends and has no desire to buy everything she sees or complain about everything in sight?

 

[Tazman]

I'd have to go with Rollo on this, it really boils down to physical attraction if I'm totally honest with myself. I believe guys don't fantasize about intangibles like "feelings" and "emotions", but we will associate these things (positively) with a woman who is physically attractive, which can serve to make her seem attainable and worthwhile.

The times I've gotten that really animalistic attraction for a woman was when I thought I had a chance at actually getting her.

 

[eyedogg]

Excellent Thread and great insight from the classic's: Joekerr31, Interceptor, Rollo, A-Unit

Thank you gentleman! Very helpful stuff.

Oh and to the Czar: I have experienced that "primal attraction" #2 thing only once and MAN! I would not trade that experience for anything.

 

[LovelyLady]

I wanted to touch on the "white pearls" thing quick. Booze, raw off the still pure booze, before it is cut/blended is clear and refered to as "white pearls" because it beads above the surface in the collection jar before breaking the miniscus. As the stream of alchohol, or "worm", trickles out, it often makes a line of what looks like a string of white pearls.

Moonshiners commonly used code, and mountain folk speak with colorful expressions. "White pearls" was code for their "good stuff". Lesser quality, fourth and fifth run moonshine didn't "hold a bead" as well as the "good" batches did.

Now, with that being said I must also explain that "doubling" is mixing half/half with water to make the pure alcohol easier to drink; less harsh.

In the passage, the wine is being fortified. However, the value of the wine isn't exactly increased as much as the straight booze's value is increased. Wine is wine, but pure booze is much to harsh to consume, or at least not nearly as pleasant.

The "pure booze", or "white pearls", that represents the woman is much to harsh by herself, and needs to be dissolved in a man in order to be tollerable.

"where we <sic: WOMEN>yearn to lose ourselves
And melt like white pearls in another's wine,

He seeks to double himself by what he loves,
And make his drink more costly by our pearls. " Browning

Wow Thank you for sharing that Vulpine. It does change the interpretation entirely, doesn't it!

So the "doubling" is then the "pearls" (highest value/concentration of moonshine) becoming palatable/consumable/completes it's purpose/process only after mixing with the water (or in Brownings case the wine).

The water is already complete and has it's purpose (consumable/ready - if you will) before the pearls are added.


The pearls/straight moonshine does serve to add the water's value (as any good woman would to her man's life)- although the water is complete in and of itself without the pearls.

Additionally, the pearls/moonshine's purpose is to add value to the water - and in fact cannot have it's value fully realized without the water.


Am I understanding this correctly, Vulpine?

 

[Thatfeel21]

i know i'm not 25, but i honestly feel i relate better to ya'll and i love how joekerr, kontroller x, RT and interceptor go into so much detail with feedback.. but as far as me, I'm attracted to calm, relaxed women who can go with the flow

 

[Vulpine]

"where we <sic: WOMEN>yearn to lose ourselves
And melt like white pearls in another's wine,

He seeks to double himself by what he loves,
And make his drink more costly by our pearls. " Browning

Wow Thank you for sharing that Vulpine. It does change the interpretation entirely, doesn't it!

So the "doubling" is then the "pearls" (highest value/concentration of moonshine) becoming palatable/consumable/completes it's purpose/process only after mixing with the water (or in Brownings case the wine).

The water is already complete and has it's purpose (consumable/ready - if you will) before the pearls are added.


The pearls/straight moonshine does serve to add the water's value (as any good woman would to her man's life)- although the water is complete in and of itself without the pearls.

Additionally, the pearls/moonshine's purpose is to add value to the water - and in fact cannot have it's value fully realized without the water.


Am I understanding this correctly, Vulpine?

Yes.

At a glance, that little blurb would seem that "The man's need of the woman, here, is greater than the woman's of the man..." But, you need to know the proceeding context that the excerpt was taken from. Without that context, the snippet is misleading. The first portion of that quote is incomplete and confuses the following portion.

"" . . The man's need of the woman, here,
Is greater than the woman's of the man,
And easier served; for where the man discerns
A sex, (ah, ah, the man can generalise,
Said he) we see but one, ideally
And really: where we <sic: WOMEN>yearn to lose ourselves
And melt like white pearls in another's wine,
He seeks to double himself by what he loves,
And make his drink more costly by our pearls.
At board, at bed, at work and holiday,
It is not good for man to be alone. [Browning, V.1073-1083] ""

Yes, lovelylady, you are catching my drift.

Wine is intoxicating; booze is more intoxicating. However, wine is enjoyable alone and straight booze is not. Booze NEEDS to (or at least SHOULD) be mixed. Men, as wine, are fine alone. Now, fortified with "pearls", the beverage is "stronger". It's not neccessarily "better", nor is it "worse", just a more intoxicating beverage: fortified wine.

Translated (according to me), the author is saying "men need women more than women need men", then goes on to contradict themself: "women seek a partner to fulfill their purpose in life whereas men seek a partner in order to add value [more costly] to their already purposeful lives." Then they summarized with "It's not good for men to be alone"? Uh....


So, "women are nearly intollerable without a man"? Sure, you can get drunk off of straight booze, but who would want to? It's tasteless and harsh. (If you have ever had moonshine, you'd know this) Booze does have purpose alone: to ƒuck you up (intoxicate). Wine has purpose alone as well: to be enjoyed, AND intoxicate when consumed in large quantities.
(And it CAN be consumed in large quantities... because it is enjoyable.)

The author clearly stepped all over themself when they used that analogy. Their arguments that "man's need for a woman is greater" and "it is not good for a man to be alone" are completely nullified by their "And really:".

Out of context, the quote is confusing. Perhaps the author was using the flowery, romantic imagery without understanding what they were actually describing? On the surface, it almost makes sense. But, quite effectively, they slammed women. There was something that the "here" was referring to that is clearly not what is referred to later. Perhaps a different analogy? Perhaps another "pro-male" one so the overall tone intended was sarcasm?

 

[LovelyLady]

It is from Elizabeth Barrett Browning's massive poem Aurora Leigh. One of the things the poem addresses the standards of marriage/male female dynamics at play in the 1850's.

Understanding the moonshine reference (which I have never run across in any studies/reading on this work that I have done) this is a contradiction!

Browning, within the context of the Victorian era, was a feminist. She was radical in suggesting that women needed to develop themselves as whole individuals. The "pearls" quote shows how she was processing this - trying to define value and purpose (curious that there should be this moonshine reference).

She had a passionate marriage with Robert Browning. I have always been fascinated with her quest for autonomy while also writing of her husband (who because she married him against her family's wishes, was ostracized by them) wrote about him:


"I admire such qualities as he has—-fortitude, integrity. I loved him for his courage in adverse circumstances which were yet felt by him more literally than I could feel them. Always he has had the greatest power over my heart, because I am of those weak women who reverence strong men."

 

[Vulpine]

I can see how she might intentionally be criticizing a woman's motivations to couple with a man to make themselves complete, then. It's almost a "shame on you" for not having more value on their lives. Very forward thinking for 1850; look around! Women still gauge their worth by whether or not they have a man in their lives.

I wonder just how many women missed that criticism? It's a shame. If more women valued their lives differently, they wouldn't be the trifling creatures they are today.

As for "moonshine", I use that expression to mean any raw booze from the distillation process. "Moonshine" is purely an American expression from the whiskey/prohibition culture. I'm sure you understood that, but I wanted to point out that "white pearls" could also refer to gin distillation, vodka, tequila, akvavit, scotch, etc. I'm not sure of Browning's cultural background, so I wanted to point out that the expression "white pearls" is a widespread one. The beads are a fairly standard measure of any alcohol's purity/strength.

It's interesting that she would refer to women as "pure alcohol" and men as a "diverse mixture of alcohol, juice, flavor, etc." She calls women "pure and simple" and men "refined and complex"; interesting indeed. It's really an excellent illustration of how a woman's motivation to couple with a man simplifies and potentially limits the scope of their life.

Tell me, lovelylady, how do people (women in particular) react to this clarification? Are their minds blown? Or, is the new viewpoint rejected?

 

[LovelyLady]

I can see how she might intentionally be criticizing a woman's motivations to couple with a man to make themselves complete, then. It's almost a "shame on you" for not having more value on their lives. ?

I think it is definitely a statement that a woman does need to value the power of her own "intoxication"/self And that there is an inherent difference in the genders.

But she is saying women have a more complete wholeness/less need of a man than men do women... yet her analogy of the pearls/and wine does not support her statement - as she has not thought it through to where the the mix comes in to play (the fulfillment of a purpose).

I will respond more later... it's FRIDAY NIGHT!!! LOL I'm going out! LOL

 

[Interceptor]

I know that I'm attracted to women whose skin radiates sensuality and sexuality...

I've only met a few women that have that skin.

It's so...primal.


It's hard to explain, I just know it when I see it.

 

[STR8UP]

What I am attracted to physically:

Dark hair (dirty blonde to auburn to dark brown), smooth, creamy, tan skin (think Jessica Alba), exotic is a plus (southeast asian, latina, middle eastern), firm C-cup breasts, J-Lo booty, a LITTLE curvy is ok (better than skinny)

The rest:

Femininity. And that's what's hard to find these days.

 

[LovelyLady]

I can see how she might intentionally be criticizing a woman's motivations to couple with a man to make themselves complete, then. It's almost a "shame on you" for not having more value on their lives. Very forward thinking for 1850; look around! Women still gauge their worth by whether or not they have a man in their lives.

I wonder just how many women missed that criticism? It's a shame. If more women valued their lives differently, they wouldn't be the trifling creatures they are today.

As for "moonshine", I use that expression to mean any raw booze from the distillation process. "Moonshine" is purely an American expression from the whiskey/prohibition culture. I'm sure you understood that, but I wanted to point out that "white pearls" could also refer to gin distillation, vodka, tequila, akvavit, scotch, etc. I'm not sure of Browning's cultural background, so I wanted to point out that the expression "white pearls" is a widespread one. The beads are a fairly standard measure of any alcohol's purity/strength.

It's interesting that she would refer to women as "pure alcohol" and men as a "diverse mixture of alcohol, juice, flavor, etc." She calls women "pure and simple" and men "refined and complex"; interesting indeed. It's really an excellent illustration of how a woman's motivation to couple with a man simplifies and potentially limits the scope of their life.

Tell me, lovelylady, how do people (women in particular) react to this clarification? Are their minds blown? Or, is the new viewpoint rejected?

The issue here is value. And I am wondering at the idea that value unrealized is only potential, in a sense.

The argument I initially got from my female friends (spoken with 5 about this specifically) is that the pearls hold their value regardless of the wine/mix. The wine only gets increased value by the pearls - therefore the wine is less value.

I, however, argued that if the pearls have no mix, the value of the pearls becomes irrelevant. An unrealized potential... like an unfertilized egg, if you will.

The implication that women can only find fulfillment through a man was met with indignation. (But Browning is not saying that this is to be the the only facet of a woman's life - but here she is addressing the romantic/relational facet)- but rather that we women ARE so highly charged/intoxicating/powerful that a man (or even male energy perhaps) is what tames us - provides the avenue for us to be of use/consumable - if you will.

I got slammed for that by my girlfriends LOL But that's okay - they threaten to kick me out of 'the club' a lot LOL

...Yet noone denied the satisfaction and sense of rest from our intensity that we have experienced when we have been partnered with a good man. And not one denied her desire - when I had her be truly honest/vulnerable to "lose herself and melt like pearls" in a good man's wine

... That there are those moments of pure bliss that come together, that we are perfectly blended, safe to be made more gentle, and longing to be "consumed".

All women agreed we are highly charged/intoxicating, and ultimately while we needed a man who could sometimes handle "drinking us straight out of the bottle" - that finding the right mix to blend with would be divine. All of them also agreed that it would be better to remain bottled up indefinitely rather than be "opened and consumed" by a lousy drunkard or bartender. LOL

 

[TheLadiesMan]

Unselfish women turn me the fvck on!

Fugly women turn me the fvck off!

Give me a phat a$$, over a set of huge titties anyday!

Give me a set of nice long legs over a set of huge titties anyday!

I love huge titties!

I love a woman who can cook!

Woman who don't know how to cook, better know how to fvck!

I don't card, and I don't discriminate against race or religion. I'm an equal opportunity fvcker.

They don't have to be smart, but they don't have to be dumb either.

She's got to have her own money.

I'm sure there's more, but that's off the top of my head.

 

[STR8UP]

Oh yea.....and I LOVE a girl who SMELLS girly.

Any of those Bath and Body products or a nice perfume really get my motor running. Sometimes when a chick spends the night I'll compliment her on her scent and get her to leave some on the sheets. Mmmmmm....

I hope that's not gay

 

[KontrollerX]

Well she has to be either hot or average in appearance not ugly and be a loyal and thoughtful person.

I know such a chick whose been a longtime friend of mine whose always expressed interest in wanting something more than that with me but I've always pushed her aside to wallow in the trash.

If she's still looking for someone and still interested in me I may finally give her a chance.