BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 4,719
- Reaction score
- 6,696
- Age
- 55
I go out alone all the time and have done for years because I have a career that requires ridiculous travel. When I was married obviously I didn't use that time to meet other men for personal purposes but I was always networking and keeping sharp socially. I meet great people all the time effortlessly. Just this past week met someone cool on the rental car bus, someone else on a flight, someone else having dinner at an upscale bar/restaurant, and someone else at coffee. Sometimes contact info is exchanged, other times not. It's great practice. I have women friends who I met randomly somewhere along the way, business prospects, dating prospects, people who I might be able to introduce to someone else I know for mutual benefit. . .there are lots of advantages to going alone.
I first started going out alone in my twenties because my friends sometimes wanted to go different places and do different things than I did. So I'd start off meeting up with them somewhere and enjoying their company for a while, then I'd split off to go do my own thing.
I've golfed alone, gone to MLB games alone, to art events, out for a drink, lots of things.
At first you'll find that perhaps you feel a little self conscious going out alone. That will pass.
If you become a somewhat regular patron a few places you'll get to know the servers, the managers or owners and the folks who work there. As others have said it's cool social proof when you arrive and the bartender asks if you are having a Balvenie 14 year Caribbean (or whatever your usual libation is) by name. When they say hello to you by name. When they are chatty with you and continue some previous topic of conversation because of familiarity. You'll also get to know other regular patrons. Musicians who play there. This is all great social proof. People never think you are an alcoholic with no life just because you are out on your own. Rather they imagine that you are cool and self-sufficient because most people are scared to be social by themselves.
Few things make a person appear cool and self assured the way the ability to step into a new social setting with aplomb does.
I first started going out alone in my twenties because my friends sometimes wanted to go different places and do different things than I did. So I'd start off meeting up with them somewhere and enjoying their company for a while, then I'd split off to go do my own thing.
I've golfed alone, gone to MLB games alone, to art events, out for a drink, lots of things.
At first you'll find that perhaps you feel a little self conscious going out alone. That will pass.
If you become a somewhat regular patron a few places you'll get to know the servers, the managers or owners and the folks who work there. As others have said it's cool social proof when you arrive and the bartender asks if you are having a Balvenie 14 year Caribbean (or whatever your usual libation is) by name. When they say hello to you by name. When they are chatty with you and continue some previous topic of conversation because of familiarity. You'll also get to know other regular patrons. Musicians who play there. This is all great social proof. People never think you are an alcoholic with no life just because you are out on your own. Rather they imagine that you are cool and self-sufficient because most people are scared to be social by themselves.
Few things make a person appear cool and self assured the way the ability to step into a new social setting with aplomb does.
