Do You -dump her completely or be friends?

[Kodiac]

Ok, just a question. If you love a girl, but she leaves you or you have to brake up with her for whatever reason, would you..

a. Dump Her
-delete her number, try and get her out of your life for good.

b. Stay Friends
- maybe you hope to get back with her later on ?

What do you see if the best path to take? I guess it depends on the circumstances. And i know, im a d1ck for falling in love and not having a backup

Heres my very long story;
This chick came onto me, i had always thought she was one FINE chick, 8 out of 10 face, 10 out of 10 body -BEST BODY..tight as!

Well, we had been going out for two months (and a damn GREAT 2 months!)..we were both at a club, a group of friends asked me to come over to the club they were at (5 min walk) - she didnt want to come with me (but i was going to go anyway, as i always play a CHALLENGE with the ladies). I told her id be back soon but when i tried to leave i couldnt get out of the club with my beer, so i went back in 2 finish it and caught her hugging (close hugging!) some guy.

I stood next to them and then tapped her on the shoulder "I think we need to talk". She happily came with me, we sat and started talking...she was saying how i had been ignoring her and i never touch her enough or visit her enough anymore - well, this was part of my 'challenge' look, maybe i overdid it a little, but...it kept her on her toes - but, maybe i did overdo it -lesson learnt.

Anyways, she told me the dude she was hugging was 'nobody', but i found out later he is actually one of her ex's who apparently wants her back. Speaking of him, when we were talking he came over, stood next to me and went off, we had an argument, he continued and even threatened to kill me... (he's in the army)blah blah... I was laughing, "Whats wrong, you insecure buddy?" and "Ohh, please don't im so scared!"... (I was a little drunk)
At this time my GF ran off, he chased her and i found them near the entrance to the club, having a chat.

When i tried to talk to her.. (when they were talking) and asked her to come back inside she would be like "soon"...Im like, oh well, have fun with "Pretty Boy" (which i regret, it was one of those male things!) We almost had a huge fight (me and him)..i was so ready to whack him, but one of the bouncers chucked him out (i know the bouncer, we go to the same gym) but my GF just ran off out of the club, i went after her.. but she jumped in the car and sped off.

You should also note, she wasn't too open about a lot of things, she seem shy in expressing her feelings, but she did say how much she loved me and wanted to be with me etc.. quite a bit

This whole incident (even though she was great before this!) told me i should leave her, i deserve better - im not one to be ***** whipped or screwed around. 2 days later i tried to have a talk to her, she was pretty rude, i dumped her then and there.

I have taken the "Delete her number, move on..path" But i do tell ya, it is hard, i miss her. Great body, great looks, intelligent, but.. still a woman -not knowing that she wants!

But, now im single, so look out ladies

Thanks for listening guys!

 

[Industry]

Don't delete her #..... but don't be friends with her. I am going through this as we speak with a girl I dated for 2 1/2 years (almost 3).

DON'T CALL
DON'T DO HER ANY FAVORS
DON'T ANSWER WHEN SHE CALLS
DON'T DO ANYTHING CONCERNING HER.

It will take you awhile to get over everything (unless you're a cold bastard and can shrug it off like a scratch).

There is no such thing as staying friends. You will always have that urge for more than you are able to get from her. There will always be that side that wants to kiss her and bone her like the good old days.... but you will soon learn that it won't happen. The emotions are too great and are best saved for a better cause (new girl, etc.)

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Seems like you are the one who overreacted to her huging that one guy, and you let your insecure side come out in front of both her and him. If you really had something worthwhile with this one, maybe its worth a try, because guess what? Thing will cool off from now on. The longer time goes by, the less the chance of getting anything started again. If you don't care, then just leave it as it is.

If you really care for her, or want to be with her, do something, otherwise you will regret it and just spend months posting and acting like a frustrated chump, to get pitty from the rest here. I say it, since it seems you enjoy the drama. She told you she cares for you, etc. and you continue with your game; games are for women man; You started the drama in the situation described above, now you're making too much out of this one.

Sometimes it takes more of a man to admit his mistakes and go apologize. Trust me, you will feel better and will get the weight off your shoulders, even if you don't get back at her. Plus it will make her think about how it took a lot of class for you to be the better man. Just my advice.

 

[trajhenkhet]

Cutting off contact is your last ditch effort to raise IL. You have to move on at that point and put her on the back burner. Let her come back to you on her own.

 

[Kodiac]

Industry - Thanks for the advice, really appreciated! Ill keep it up

Gangster - Im not posting like a frustrated chump or to get pitty, i was posting to get advice - take is as you will. And no, i don't enjoy the drama as you seem to think.

1. As for games - we all play games, or we get no where. eg Being a challenge is a game. If your not a challenge, ur not going anywhere ; unless she wants a husband or someone she can control as she see's fit in which case she has won! If ur as predictible as a dead cat, you wont get anywhere.

2. Now, I don't see why i need to appologise, she LIED to me. He was the one trying to start a fight, she was the one who ran off like a little school girl.

3. She admitted she cared about me, but that was about a month back, recently (over the previous week) she has being a little wierd thus why i said "we need to talk" added also by the fact she was getting a little close to that dude.
If she chose to talk to him and ignore me, that was her CHOICE.

Thanks for the input though, really appreciated. No personal attacks though

 

[Clint Eastwood]

Kodiak, I think you're a pretty ballsy, awesome dude for a guy who's only 22. You can be my wingman anytime. You did the right thing.

As far as cutting her off and deleting her #, that's exactly what I'd do. You're too young to waste time on this one girl. She's not the only 10 you're ever going to have.

Industry is right on! I went through the same thing with my GF. It was super hard for the first few months. We had been together for awhile, and we had a lot of fun together. It was really tough, but I cut all contact with her. She e-mailed me a couple times, but I never e-mailed her back. She passed me in her car and waved. I didn't wave back.

Now, before people start jumping me and saying I'm an immature pr*ck, you have to realize that she pulled some major sh*t and was really disrespectful at the end of our relationship. I absolutely will not tolerate this kind of treatment from anyone. In my opinion, such people are trash and scum, and I won't associate with them. If she had been a guy, I would have kicked her a$$.

Your girl had no right hugging her ex and blowing you off to talk to him in the way she did. I don't think you were being insecure, I think your anger was justified. I had an ex who regularly hugged her ex, but I knew that there was nothing going on between them so I didn't care. This situation sounds like it could be different. But, I wasn't there, so I may be jumping to conclusions.

I think it's hilarious how you called this chump's punk card. Way to go!

Hang in there. It will be hard, but the sooner you get out there and get another girl the better.

If after a few weeks or so, you still have strong feelings for this girl and she proves herself as well as apologizing... It might be o.k. to take her back. But, I don't really recommend it. She should have listened when you told her you needed to talk. The fact that she didn't seem to take it seriously means she wasn't much of a good girlfriend to begin with.

 

[STR8UP]

Unless you are worried about her KILLING you or something, never burn your bridges.

 

[spanky]

I agree with Clint, Industry, and str8up and how you plan to handle the situation, Kodiac.

I wouldn't talk to her immediately because of reasons industry has already pointed out.

I would wait a while before I talking with her on somewhat of a regular basis since I would want to make sure I was fully over her.

But I wouldn't burn the bridges. It's a smalll world, man, so you never know how this female can potentially F**** you over in the future or help you. Afterall, it isn't like she totally screwed you over but she did disrespect you enough to cause you to move on, in my opinion. That much is clear.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

I think you did the right thing kodiac. When it comes to women and their ex's things get really really flakey. Women always run back to their ex's, i swear there is at least one girl i know at all times hooking back up with an ex. In 2 months, she is your domain, and she should have known it. She totally disrespected you by hugging him, defending him (she didn't defend you), and running off. What a drama queen. I bet she thinks about it all the time. I'd love to take out the person who created talk shows, and soap operas. Talk about creating a fantasy world for women.

Don't feel bad at all about what happend. You'll feel regret because of the fact that, had she done the right thing, you'd still be having good times with her. Women are so freaking blind when it comes to relationships. They never know how good they have it with guys like us. DJ's are supposed to just walk this shiat off, but we are only human too. I say burn your bridge. If she comes around again be very cautious. Sometimes people learn from their mistakes, but when have you had a women admit (not under penalty of death) that she made a mistake. And when they do it wasn't their fault.

Move on to bigger and better things.