Do you bring it up if a girl starts cooling down on you?

[lifemisspent]

If after three months of dating all of a sudden Im hearing less and less from this chick. We used to have frequent emails and phone conversations , now the number has been reduced greatly. I went 5 days without hearing from her at all.

My buddy says I should tell her that if she has lost interest just to let me know and she will never hear another peep out of me ever again as to not waste anymore of anyone's time.

I once did confront an ex g/f with this a few years ago and her response was that my imagination was running wild, I felt like a fool and was not sure what to believe.


Pls help.

 

[horaholic]

Actually, that is your que to eject from the relationship. Dump her before she dumps you. She's not interested, its obvious. Maybe she's cheating, maybe not, but you will be FAR better off initiating the breakup. Dont talk to her about it, just break it off. If she is still interested, she needs to show it. If she comes crawling back after you dump her, she MIGHT still have interest. Show her that you aren't afraid to walk away.

And, above all, do it COOL. dont sap out, and dont lash out, and get angry. Just tell her its obvious to you that she has lost her interest and the relationship has run its natural course, and its time for both of you to move on. Be dignified about it.

I once did confront an ex g/f with this a few years ago and her response was that my imagination was running wild, I felt like a fool and was not sure what to believe.

How did that one work out afterwards? No, dont believe their words. Believe their actions, or lack thereof. Your imagination was NOT running wild.

 

[scribblec]

Actually, that is your que to eject from the relationship. Dump her before she dumps you. She's not interested, its obvious. Maybe she's cheating, maybe not, but you will be FAR better off initiating the breakup.

serious ;\

 

[LinkinParkROX]

This is why spinning plates is important. Like I say in most of my posts, one should never put their happiness in the hands of other people. A true DJ is independent, and can be content with nothing but his own existence. Looks to me like yours depends on this girl. Dude - she's not everything to you, and losing her is not that much of a big deal. Man up and show her you don't really need her to be complete and she'll suddenly heat up like a kettle. Your fear of losing her is holding you back. Get rid of it. Imagine you already lost her, and behave like you did. Maybe even escalate kino to keep interest levels up in the future. Good luck!

 

[Raikojo17]

No need to overreact seriously

things like this happen in a relationship. it won't always be the same it was. but like other said you shouldn't rely on this chick so much to make you happy. Maybe she's just used to the relationship now and doesn't feel like she has to call as much

me and my gf don't talk nearly as much either. something it's best to have a little space

If you're up each other's butts all day then eventually you will get tired of each other

5 days is a little much. but don't confront her on it. if you must then bring up the good times you used to share, but don't accuse her of lacking interest. it won't do you any good

good luck

 

[Raikojo17]

double post

 

[Raikojo17]

triple post

 

[speakeasy]

one should never put their happiness in the hands of other people.

^^^This line is ingenious in its simplicity.




As to the original poster. My feeling is this, never put more into someone than they are putting into you. If she only calls you once a week, then don't call her more than once a week. Sounds like you already lost her to me. Once the momentum dries up, it rarely reverses. Only thing that might bring her back around at this point is jealousy, which is probably the most powerful emotion there is. Say like her knowing you are now dating other women, especially if those women are hotter than she is.

I wouldn't even go bringing anything up to her. Seems needy to me. If I were in your shoes, I'd just stop contacting her cold turkey. Like David DeAngelo says, "give her the gift of missing you". If she still has any feelings for you, she'll start to miss you and then re-engage contact. If she does, be amicable, but start calling her less than she calls you. Make her fear losing you. Right now, if you are doing all the contact, she has no fear in losing you and that's probably what drove her away. And if she doesn't try to contact you anymore, well then you've done yourself a favor and confirmed what you already suspect...that it's over.

 

[lifemisspent]

I agree with Speakeasy

I agree with you the most, but good feedback from all , thanks.

If I call her on it, it makes me look insecure and needy.........If I don't react and just follow her lead this might envoke some powerful feelings.

While this sorts itself out I will start dating other women.

Thx

^^^This line is ingenious in its simplicity.




As to the original poster. My feeling is this, never put more into someone than they are putting into you. If she only calls you once a week, then don't call her more than once a week. Sounds like you already lost her to me. Once the momentum dries up, it rarely reverses. Only thing that might bring her back around at this point is jealousy, which is probably the most powerful emotion there is. Say like her knowing you are now dating other women, especially if those women are hotter than she is.

I wouldn't even go bringing anything up to her. Seems needy to me. If I were in your shoes, I'd just stop contacting her cold turkey. Like David DeAngelo says, "give her the gift of missing you". If she still has any feelings for you, she'll start to miss you and then re-engage contact. If she does, be amicable, but start calling her less than she calls you. Make her fear losing you. Right now, if you are doing all the contact, she has no fear in losing you and that's probably what drove her away. And if she doesn't try to contact you anymore, well then you've done yourself a favor and confirmed what you already suspect...that it's over.

 

[Igetit!]

Do you bring it up if a girl starts cooling down on you?


NO.


Her "cooling off" is emotional,therefore,you sitting her down and having a "logical talk" about why her interest seem to have cooled off is futile.

You'll just waste your time.

The good new is that this is fixable.

Click on the word "THIS!" in my signature,and scroll down to reply number 14.

The info there should help you to get back on the right track with this girl.

 

[Ganondorf]

Hell naw you don't bring that **** up. not like that

You could try just being you and if she calls great, but if not then no need to worry.

 

[Alle_Gory]

If after three months of dating all of a sudden Im hearing less and less from this chick. We used to have frequent emails and phone conversations , now the number has been reduced greatly. I went 5 days without hearing from her at all.

All right. Just what the hell happened?

My buddy says I should tell her that if she has lost interest just to let me know and she will never hear another peep out of me ever again as to not waste anymore of anyone's time.

Your buddy's an idiot and you will be an even bigger idiot by listening to him. What good does bringing up the fact that she's cooling off do? What do you think the response will be. Put yourself in her shoes with someone coming up to you and telling you this.

If she's cooling off, then warm her up (and no, that doesn't mean contacting her listen to speakeasy). Stop worrying about it, just do it. A football player doesn't analyzes the angle of the ball as its being thrown towards him, and then analyzes his hands moving to catch it. No, he knows to catch the ball and play the damn game.

Play the game.

I once did confront an ex g/f with this a few years ago and her response was that my imagination was running wild, I felt like a fool and was not sure what to believe.

So you are wanting to have a repeat performance. Looks like you didn't learn the first time.

Pls help.

Pay attention and learn. That's the only way you can be helped.

 

[nismo-4]

In English: No!

In Spanish: No!

In French: Non!

In Russian: Nyet!

In German: Nein!

In Ebonics: Hell Naw!

In my words: F**k no!

This is a case of someone putting all his eggs into one damn basket!

Seriously, haven't you realized that you need to keep the girl's interest level up the whole time in a relationship? You failed to do that here and things are going downhill for you buddy. Break it off and don't be afraid. You f**ked up. Now you need to just dump her and move on before she does.

And that logical talk that you're trying to have is useless. Women think with their feelings, not their brains. You should have known better.

Case closed.

 

[Soprano]

I wouldn't even go bringing anything up to her. Seems needy to me. If I were in your shoes, I'd just stop contacting her cold turkey. Like David DeAngelo says, "give her the gift of missing you". If she still has any feelings for you, she'll start to miss you and then re-engage contact. If she does, be amicable, but start calling her less than she calls you. Make her fear losing you. Right now, if you are doing all the contact, she has no fear in losing you and that's probably what drove her away. And if she doesn't try to contact you anymore, well then you've done yourself a favor and confirmed what you already suspect...that it's over.

^ real talk right there