its been a while since I posted here-been busy with life and all that stuff...I hope everyone has been having a great summer! Anyway to the questtion at hand: Here's a question I would like you guy's opinion on: "Do you believe in friendship before relationship?"--or better yet..Do you think its possibe to be a woman's friend first and then become her lover?
Do you believe in friendship before relationship?"
- Thread starter Freeman
- Start date
It depends on what you're looking for, but in my own case it is usually a resounding "no". I'm sure, or at least I hope, if you've been here for a little while you have come accross the topic of "friendship zone". What are your thoughts on it?
Well, the way i see it, women have 2 different zones of thought about you. One as a friend, one as a lover... if she just hasn't done any thinking about you as a "lover", meaning she hasn't thought to herself "This guy cannot be a potential lover", then you can probably be friends with her... and one day she'll think about you as a "lover" and if her brain (or "heart" or whatever they call that b.s.) tells her "yes" then you're in.
Basically it comes down to whether or not she has previously thought about you as a lover and said no to herself (which isn't good), or yes, or she hasn't thought about it (means you still got a chance).
Anyways, the thought of being "just a friend" with a woman i'm interested in scared the sh^t out of me! I got chills just reading your message.
Basically it comes down to whether or not she has previously thought about you as a lover and said no to herself (which isn't good), or yes, or she hasn't thought about it (means you still got a chance).
Anyways, the thought of being "just a friend" with a woman i'm interested in scared the sh^t out of me! I got chills just reading your message.
Funny
Guy, let me clarify- When I say friend I don't mean what a "friend" entails-- I believe that you can start with being "cool" with the chick-when I say "cool" I mean that your'e status with her isn't at the friend level-BUT-you two still talk...in other words you keep in loose contact with her-you don't go talkin on the phone with her for like 2 hours-you might drop her an email from time to time catch a movie,go to a concert--thats being "cool" with her--being a friend is being an emotional tampon
Guy, let me clarify- When I say friend I don't mean what a "friend" entails-- I believe that you can start with being "cool" with the chick-when I say "cool" I mean that your'e status with her isn't at the friend level-BUT-you two still talk...in other words you keep in loose contact with her-you don't go talkin on the phone with her for like 2 hours-you might drop her an email from time to time catch a movie,go to a concert--thats being "cool" with her--being a friend is being an emotional tampon
I sincerely don't believe in friends before relationship. You want her to percieve you as a sex machine not just a ''friend.'' Go for the kill early, if it fails then it's just one girl...you're not out anything.
you have a lot to learn..ur right seduction does come first...where did I say that what I do doesn't involve seduction? what do you think I would do if I was out with her? being "cool" is all apart of the seduction---while you're showing her that there's more to you than trying to get some as*-you are also flirting with her-- "push-pull" technique-flirt then pull back-....
OneArmDeeJay
Senior Don Juan
There’s nothing wrong becoming friends first lovers later. Just depends what kind of friend you are. I believe there are four kinds of friendship
1. The Girl-Friend
If she talks about all of her drama and boy problems to you, use u as an emotional tampon, and sees you as a sexual dud, then you are her Girl-Friend
2. The Brother like Friend
If she looks up to you for wisdom and guidance then you are like a Brother friend towards her.
3. “Just a Friend”
This friendship is where you put yourself in. You met the girl; you developed Oneitis, showed lots of AFC tendencies like constantly calling for a date or wanting to hangout or what not. Not really trying to be her friend but went from an angle like being her Girl-Friend and Brother like Friend . And for what other reasons you get her to the point where she says “Lets Just be Friends” You are now in a realm what we all know as the “Friend Zone”. And eventually will be her emotional tampon and her Girl-friend (See number 1). Also she will not be there for you and will flake on you but only will act like she is and talks to you when she needs you for something like an ego boost or help her with her homework.
4. A True Friend
If you do fun things together on a continually basis like you do with your other friends, her calling you to hang out, can sit in the car for along period of time without saying anything and not feeling awkward or compelled to do say something, you two are truly Friends.
If her car breaks down in the middle of the night when its pouring cats and dogs and calls you up, then yeah you are her Friend .
If she knows you well in personality, way of thinking, mood, and can read you like a book and communicate with you with out words you are truly friends.
For example you two came to a party together, its late, you’re tired and you want to go and she’s your ride. Your talking to some people and you see she’s across the room talking as well. You make I contact and you don’t mouth anything, you two just stare at each other for a few seconds and kind of give head nods and little facial expressions as if you were talking to each other with words. Then the next second you see her gets up and get her belongings and says, “All right I’m ready to go.” That is a close friend who knows you well.
This kind of friendship is the kind that can go into a relationship.
Remember, Relationships come and go.
But Friendship last forever.
1. The Girl-Friend
If she talks about all of her drama and boy problems to you, use u as an emotional tampon, and sees you as a sexual dud, then you are her Girl-Friend
2. The Brother like Friend
If she looks up to you for wisdom and guidance then you are like a Brother friend towards her.
3. “Just a Friend”
This friendship is where you put yourself in. You met the girl; you developed Oneitis, showed lots of AFC tendencies like constantly calling for a date or wanting to hangout or what not. Not really trying to be her friend but went from an angle like being her Girl-Friend and Brother like Friend . And for what other reasons you get her to the point where she says “Lets Just be Friends” You are now in a realm what we all know as the “Friend Zone”. And eventually will be her emotional tampon and her Girl-friend (See number 1). Also she will not be there for you and will flake on you but only will act like she is and talks to you when she needs you for something like an ego boost or help her with her homework.
4. A True Friend
If you do fun things together on a continually basis like you do with your other friends, her calling you to hang out, can sit in the car for along period of time without saying anything and not feeling awkward or compelled to do say something, you two are truly Friends.
If her car breaks down in the middle of the night when its pouring cats and dogs and calls you up, then yeah you are her Friend .
If she knows you well in personality, way of thinking, mood, and can read you like a book and communicate with you with out words you are truly friends.
For example you two came to a party together, its late, you’re tired and you want to go and she’s your ride. Your talking to some people and you see she’s across the room talking as well. You make I contact and you don’t mouth anything, you two just stare at each other for a few seconds and kind of give head nods and little facial expressions as if you were talking to each other with words. Then the next second you see her gets up and get her belongings and says, “All right I’m ready to go.” That is a close friend who knows you well.
This kind of friendship is the kind that can go into a relationship.
Remember, Relationships come and go.
But Friendship last forever.
Yes, a friendship can lead to a relationship...but ONLY if both people are already physically attracted to each other in the first place. If the guy wants more with the woman but she isn't attracted to him then a friendship won't lead to a relationship. The "friendzone" has nothing at all to do with friendship and everything to do with attraction and a lack thereof.
Tboner
Don Juan
Do you think its possibe to be a woman's friend first and then become her lover?
I'm sure it's possible, but very unlikely. I've never run across it personally, though I've tried to lay friends.
Women categorize men in the first few seconds and put them in rank as lover, friend or loser. Anytime you get ranked lower, there's almost no chance of being upgraded. They will continually test you for these ranks, until the point of penetration, then they will back rationalize why they slept with you.
I've found that the more time I spend with a women before I make the move on her, the less chance I have of laying her. On the other hand, I've made some very good friends from ONS's.
freeman,
I gather from your second and third posts that your'e really not talking about being friends first (in women's terms). You seem to be talking about seducing a chick over a long time span with only minimal contact. This can be easily done and can lead to tremendous sexual tension and anticipation on her part.
I laid a HB7 like this three weeks ago. We met in person, through friends, spent 20 minutes together, exchanged phone numbers. I kept putting her off for 2-1/2 months because of a vacation. I only talked to her 4 or 5 times with less than one hour total contact time. When we finally met again, she came into my house and jumped me immediately. Now we are friends and FB's.
I'm sure it's possible, but very unlikely. I've never run across it personally, though I've tried to lay friends.
Women categorize men in the first few seconds and put them in rank as lover, friend or loser. Anytime you get ranked lower, there's almost no chance of being upgraded. They will continually test you for these ranks, until the point of penetration, then they will back rationalize why they slept with you.
I've found that the more time I spend with a women before I make the move on her, the less chance I have of laying her. On the other hand, I've made some very good friends from ONS's.
freeman,
I gather from your second and third posts that your'e really not talking about being friends first (in women's terms). You seem to be talking about seducing a chick over a long time span with only minimal contact. This can be easily done and can lead to tremendous sexual tension and anticipation on her part.
I laid a HB7 like this three weeks ago. We met in person, through friends, spent 20 minutes together, exchanged phone numbers. I kept putting her off for 2-1/2 months because of a vacation. I only talked to her 4 or 5 times with less than one hour total contact time. When we finally met again, she came into my house and jumped me immediately. Now we are friends and FB's.
There must definitely be physical attraction from the beginning in order for a friendship to evolve into a relationship. I usually don't classify it as such, though--I usually classify that as a gradually developing relationship.
If you move slowly with someone because of limited free time or clashing schedules, it's still different from "she used to tell me about her ex-boyfriends, but now she finds me irresistably hot." THAT doesn't happen.
Actually, that might lead to a realtionship of convenience and mutual AFFECTION, but not a chemistry-based, attraction-based relationship.
Emotional Tampon/Buddy-Buddy----> Lustful Relationship? No.
Occasional Dates/Phone Convos, Gradual Rapport----> Lustful Relationship? Yes.
So--while you don't necessarily have to have sex with each other in the first month to make it a realtionship, you definitely have to WANT to.
If you move slowly with someone because of limited free time or clashing schedules, it's still different from "she used to tell me about her ex-boyfriends, but now she finds me irresistably hot." THAT doesn't happen.
Actually, that might lead to a realtionship of convenience and mutual AFFECTION, but not a chemistry-based, attraction-based relationship.
Emotional Tampon/Buddy-Buddy----> Lustful Relationship? No.
Occasional Dates/Phone Convos, Gradual Rapport----> Lustful Relationship? Yes.
So--while you don't necessarily have to have sex with each other in the first month to make it a realtionship, you definitely have to WANT to.
Usually being friends first is a recipe for disaster. Usualy one-itis develops and the guy never gets the girl and just gets burned. Let's face it if you're befriending a girl that you have a romantic and sexual interest in, then it's her that's pacing the relationship at a snail's pace. Like T-boner said girls generally decide if they're attracted to you as a lover or not pretty early on. the way I see it someone's string the other person along. The only way it'd work is if she's interested and you're string her along. Just seems like usually with slow-seduction the guy develops stronger feelings while the girl develops LJBF feelings.
Re: Re: Do you believe in friendship before relationship?"
I couldn't agree with you more-Common Sense dictates that you only go for whats bitin-if the person you're into isn't feeling you in that type of way you must let it go-thats what i want you guys to understand about my position on the question:when I first meet a girl I make it very clear what my intentions are early-thats an teenage mistake-not making what you want clear- you're going one way and she, going the other-so feelings won't get hurt establish yourself early.
I couldn't agree with you more-Common Sense dictates that you only go for whats bitin-if the person you're into isn't feeling you in that type of way you must let it go-thats what i want you guys to understand about my position on the question:when I first meet a girl I make it very clear what my intentions are early-thats an teenage mistake-not making what you want clear- you're going one way and she, going the other-so feelings won't get hurt establish yourself early.