Do women who have had multiple partners have a hard time staying in a relationship?

[MatureDJ]

I say this blurb on a private dating forum, and it seems to make sense.

 

[Paris1968]

Mine did. Still does. She was married for 15 years but had 4 extramarital relationships that I know of, including one with me. Not one-off cheating. Relationships.

I think mine was a malignant narcissist, brought on by years of the worst childhood abuse you can imagine. Now she's 100% together, the spokesperson for the local United Way, one of the kindest people you'd ever want to meet. Also the most amazing lay in North America and damned proud of it. But a skill she learned the hard way.

I think she gets bored easily and simply leaves people before they have a chance to leave her. I joked about her new BF the other day, cause she was making noises about him, I said "He doesn't love you enough yet for you to dump him."

She was furious. Hit a little too close to home, I think.

Ask yourself what is the common thread with these multiple partner women? Probably low self-esteem or abuse or both. Just a hunch.

 

[Findog]

I say this blurb on a private dating forum, and it seems to make sense.

How many is too many partners? A woman who has been with say 12 different men at the age of 40 is a lot different than a woman who has been with 12 different men by the age of 22. I saw a statistic that said a woman's ability to form a lasting relationship drops 7 percent with each man she's been with.

 

[Paris1968]

That's interesting but I can't imagine where they'd get numbers to back the claim. Especially self-reporting.

I think 12 at 40 is NOTHING. She's a saint. Mine probably had five times that number by 22 and she'd admit it. She told me that on one of our first dates. But she's an outrageous example, given her circumstances.

But I agree, you make a good point. It's two different things.

My gut tells me that sex is a normal, healthy and awesome thing. Even one-nighters. Usually. The question remains valid tho: how many is too many? I've no idea, I'd feel a bit of a hypocrite even proposing an answer.

 

[Findog]

That's interesting but I can't imagine where they'd get numbers to back the claim. Especially self-reporting.

I think 12 at 40 is NOTHING. She's a saint. Mine probably had five times that number by 22 and she'd admit it. She told me that on one of our first dates. But she's an outrageous example, given her circumstances.

But I agree, you make a good point. It's two different things.

My gut tells me that sex is a normal, healthy and awesome thing. Even one-nighters. Usually. The question remains valid tho: how many is too many? I've no idea, I'd feel a bit of a hypocrite even proposing an answer.

I've always enjoyed sex more with somebody that I have feelings for and care about, but sex when it's just sex is good too. But if all it is is sex then I eventually get bored. That happened recently with this girl that I was casually seeing and was far more into me than I was into her.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Good lord Paris -- this woman sounds like a nutcase.

Yes -- I think a high number of sexual partners for a chick can decrease her ability to be solid LTR material, partially because her lifestyle and habits are for STRs only -- she may not understand the dynamics of an LTR and she may also have a lot more emotional baggage depending.

IDK -- it is unique -- but I have found chicks with less partners have a stronger ability to 'commit' -- they are not looking to get off with as many men as possible, most of them more so looking for serious committed relationships.

Just as some men repel from serious committed relationships like oil and water, so do some women, and the number of sexual partners we all choose to take on has some effect on us.

Probably the higher the number the more disconnected a person can feel -- whereas if the number is low, sex is probably more of a "special" feeling.

But I suppose at the same time, I could be wrong.

OK -- if I was to get married -- would I see better odds of it working with a chick with a less crazy sexual past vs. a more crazy sexual past, I'd probably vote for the latter.

But I could be wrong! A buddy of mine's wife cheated on him and she had only had one or two previous partners. Her lack of sexual experience diversity could have had something to do with her wandering away. IDK. Curious to hear what people think about this.

 

[5string]

Mine did. Still does. She was married for 15 years but had 4 extramarital relationships that I know of, including one with me. Not one-off cheating. Relationships.

I think mine was a malignant narcissist, brought on by years of the worst childhood abuse you can imagine. Now she's 100% together, the spokesperson for the local United Way, one of the kindest people you'd ever want to meet. Also the most amazing lay in North America and damned proud of it. But a skill she learned the hard way.

I think she gets bored easily and simply leaves people before they have a chance to leave her. I joked about her new BF the other day, cause she was making noises about him, I said "He doesn't love you enough yet for you to dump him."

She was furious. Hit a little too close to home, I think.

Ask yourself what is the common thread with these multiple partner women? Probably low self-esteem or abuse or both. Just a hunch.

Cluster B alert bigtime.

 

[sodbuster]

My sons used to be content watching the same Barney movie over and over again,now they watch a bunch of different ones....but never the same ones twice in a night. Could be the same with sex, if you know there are different movies[women/men] out there, would you be content to watch the same one over and over again?

 

[Findog]

My sons used to be content watching the same Barney movie over and over again,now they watch a bunch of different ones....but never the same ones twice in a night. Could be the same with sex, if you know there are different movies[women/men] out there, would you be content to watch the same one over and over again?

It depends on whether you want to get married or not. There is the ideal of marriage - you get (in theory) somewhat regular access to sex and (in theory) a woman's loyalty, as opposed to having to constantly hunt it down and risk repeated rejection. There are other (in theory) benefits to marriage - tax breaks, a partner with which to raise children if it's a family that you want. A 45-50 percent divorce rate and family courts biased in favor of women would make me think long and hard about how well I've qualified a woman before marrying her.

Of course if you are not suited or desiring of monogamy then it's best to spin plates.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Be less concerned with the number of men a woman's slept with and more concerned about the permanent impact of the few Alphas she's slept with.

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/

If your new GF's previous lover left a lasting dominant Alpha impression, one previous lay is enough. If you're the first real Alpha she's banged after a string of 12 beta schlubs, you may as well be the guy who took her virginity. It's not a numbers game, it's an Alpha game.

 

[SXS]

American culture is so weird...

 

[MatureDJ]

It depends on whether you want to get married or not. There is the ideal of marriage - you get (in theory) somewhat regular access to sex and (in theory) a woman's loyalty, as opposed to having to constantly hunt it down and risk repeated rejection. There are other (in theory) benefits to marriage - tax breaks, a partner with which to raise children if it's a family that you want. A 45-50 percent divorce rate and family courts biased in favor of women would make me think long and hard about how well I've qualified a woman before marrying her.

Of course if you are not suited or desiring of monogamy then it's best to spin plates.

A very good surmising of the situation. I would say that most men don't have a problem with trying marriage once. But after that - if there have been children - they are no longer interested.