Do Women WANT us to have Oneitis?

[bigneil]

So today this 22 year old girl I had lunch with (as friends) told me that a 21 year old girl who I've been dating would be sure to break my heart. Although the two girls never met, she essentially bragged about having broken a 41 year old man's heart recently.

So I joked with the 21 year old later about what this girl said. She and I have dated for about 3 months now and although it's been romantic I couldn't imagine being hurt, because I expect nothing in return.

But the odd part was, she seemed to be disappointed to think that I couldn't be hurt by her. She said "So you are saying you couldn't fall in love with me?" My feeling is that the only way a man my age can date a girl her age is to give her complete freedom and to be somewhat detached.

She didn't like that idea.

Do girls insist of being able to hurt their man?

 

[zinc4]

It's her ego...as soon as you cave and fulfil her ego u lose to thus one...your current detachment is key to having your way with her....

 

[No.Danny]

They do. They want you to turn into an AFC who they marry, have kids. Get money from and get gang banged while he's away on a business trip.

 

[Eph]

They do. They want you to turn into an AFC who they marry, have kids. Get money from and get gang banged while he's away on a business trip.

I think that's the wrong attitude to have about it. Don't get me wrong, I mean every woman wants to feel special and like the only woman in the world to a high-value man. But women don't want, nor want to turn men into, AFCs/Betas. If they did, none of us would be here on SoSuave, nor would SoSuave exist.

As for the marriage thing, of course. It's still seen as (whether people want to admit it or not) a way of securing a partner. Locking them down, and being able to claim them as your own.

To answer the OP's question, I believe women don't necessarily want us to have oneitis. A high-value man, sure. But, every guy she comes into contact with? Not a chance.

 

[Sino Zane]

Well, they want desirable men to get oneitus for them.

Rendering a desirable - or high-value - man lovestruck from oneitus is one of the reasons most women breathe. They want the high-value man to only have eyes for them DESPITE all of the other women who want him. This is what gives them the most satisfaction. So when the high-value man who they want does not want them back, it hurts their ego.

 

[El Payaso]

Most definitely. One of their main goals in life is to seek out a desirable, high value man like a heat seeking missile and over time, turn them into nothing but a shriveled husk devoid of life. Subconsciously, they want a strong man but their tests are designed to test you till the very last.

They don't want to turn you into an AFC necessarily but they merely test you everyday to see if you are one. I suppose the question now is ARE YOU AN AFC?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Most definitely. One of their main goals in life is to seek out a desirable, high value man like a heat seeking missile and over time, turn them into nothing but a shriveled husk devoid of life. Subconsciously, they want a strong man but their tests are designed to test you till the very last.

They don't want to turn you into an AFC necessarily but they merely test you everyday to see if you are one. I suppose the question now is ARE YOU AN AFC?

Yup what they want is more important than what we want or nothing happens

 

[MOTU]

Well, they want desirable men to get oneitus for them.

Rendering a desirable - or high-value - man lovestruck from oneitus is one of the reasons most women breathe. They want the high-value man to only have eyes for them DESPITE all of the other women who want him. This is what gives them the most satisfaction. So when the high-value man who they want does not want them back, it hurts their ego.

^^^This. Repped.^^^

 

[devilkingx2]

But the odd part was, she seemed to be disappointed to think that I couldn't be hurt by her. She said "So you are saying you couldn't fall in love with me?" My feeling is that the only way a man my age can date a girl her age is to give her complete freedom and to be somewhat detached.

She didn't like that idea.

Do girls insist of being able to hurt their man?

a better question is if it bothers you that your gf sounds like a really, really bad person.

I don't think normal, reasonable human beings pride themselves on their ability to cause pain and suffering to others.

 

[Genos]

I think this article by Shark kind of succinctly consolidates all of the ideas in this thread: http://www.solvemygirlproblems.com/...why-your-girlfriend-wants-you-to-be-insecure/

It really blew my mind how true his words rang with me...it's actually almost a little depressing to think that, as Shark says, women can be self destructive in relationships: bf is Alpha -> she wants more attention - bf gives it, becomes AFC -> gf loses attraction. In the romantic princess world that I grew up on, I believed you could (and should) unconditionally give everything to, and dote on your woman...introduction to game, and personal experience have indeed taught me otherwise >___>

Self-development and inner game are key. Anyway, the article's an interesting read, whether it's actually what happens all the time or not. Definitely worth some discussion (this is a great thread, btw)

 

[VladPatton]

There are just a lot of b!tches out there that get off on destroying guys, and when you don't play along they get their wires fried. It's a tough ride for the AFC.

 

[Poop1337]

You're rattling her cage by saying things like you'll never fall in love. Girls do want guys to have oneitus in one way or another but they also find it very unattractive. You can't explain this to them or you rattle their cages.

 

[bigneil]

Good points everyone. The Shark link is a great read, especially this:

"Here’s the catch 22 of the paradox. They want to make their boyfriends desperate and needy in order to get more attention from them, HOWEVER, THAT ALSO DECREASES THEIR OWN ATTRACTION."

I can confirm that the opposite is true in this case.

I think this is the natural tension (potential difference) that exists between positive and negative terminals. If either side pulls the other side too close, it shorts out - or worse - blows up. The moon falls around the Earth, it never collides.

 

[The_411]

It's about control. A woman's biological imperative is based on finding a mate with the best genes AND a mate who will protect her offspring.

I say AND because the first part is absolutely and the second often isn't because the woman feels that her selection is best suited to protect her offspring, but the reality as we all know is that the guy often isn't the best choice for any number of reasons.

 

[Huffman]

I had to think of this:

http://funnyasduck.net/wp-content/u...ve-cut-hair-bear-youve-changed-comic-pics.jpg

 

[JaegerPilot217]

It's about control. A woman's biological imperative is based on finding a mate with the best genes AND a mate who will protect her offspring.

I say AND because the first part is absolutely and the second often isn't because the woman feels that her selection is best suited to protect her offspring, but the reality as we all know is that the guy often isn't the best choice for any number of reasons.

That sounds accurate