Do women only love you for what you can do for them?

countermart

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The more I come to understand women the less I like many of them.

Part of this has to do with the concept of love, if that concept even exists between a man and a woman.

In my life I have had no shortage of women tell me they love me, “I love you” over and over I hear. I’ve become cynical when I hear this now.

Months later I often get the, “I love you, but I don’t think love is enough” and usually this comes with a pretty angry breakup on their part.

Discussing this with a friend recently I asked, “Why do these women love me and then hate me?” To which he answered, “Because you do not give them everything they want” and I guess this is true, after a messy divorce I now protect my main assets, want a certain standard of behaviour, and do not want any more children, and I make this clear from the start.

This does not mean that I am not generous, I do the paying most of the time. I just believe fairness is that you get to keep what you work for, unless it is in a long term relationship where going forward from a point of marriage or binding commitment it is a 50:50 done deal.

Prove whether you want the love or the resources first, do you love me when I’m down and up, in alpha or beta mode…why…it’s…do you love me, “For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better for worse etc”…perhaps the people who thought up the marriage vows actually had some idea!”

If you do not love me in that way, do not fricken tell me you love me!!!

I have real trouble with, as one girl I was sleeping with said to me, “Poor men, they go after youth and beauty, and that never lasts, but women go after resources and that always lasts.”

Well honestly how stupid to sacrifice love for resources, what a dumb deal. But maybe women know love does not exist, at least for them.

I work in an industry where the “resources” go up and down every second and they can be wiped out in minutes. My resources went down $10K in the last seconds of trading today. So what! Does this make me just slightly less alpha, less attractive? Apparently, to a lot of women, the answer is, yes!

Resources don’t last and things get old and are thrown away.

The one thing you would hope would last is love.

A friend of mine lost his job. Was his wife sympathetic and supportive? Actually no, she called him a b*stard!

I simply can’t get over the reality that I think women only love men for what men can do for them ie. What resources they can provide? At least this has been my general observation of the current generation.

I watched while a hot girl I’d often have lunch with, but knew enough to stay away from sexually, met a short balding guy with about… $30 million.

Over lunch one day she showed me a large diamond engagement ring. She commented, “I don’t know we just clicked. I love him.” “Yes, I though as soon as you learned he had $30 million your mental cash register went ching ching. It must be love, love, love!”

I sat back and watched the action, like watching a slow motion movie of a guy getting ripped apart by a she wolf.

She moved interstate to marry him.

Where did I last see her? Yep amazingly, three years later while walking past a divorce court. Poor guy I though, as she smiled happily.

The last I heard the guy actually eventually went under, his business after the divorce failed. At some stage the guy must have actually believed she had loved him.

I find many women incredibly vengeful, manipulative and cruel. Perhaps I have just been unlucky, but I look around me and see this as pretty common in many relationships.

Women on the whole have gained a lot better PR than they deserve.

Approximately, 80% of break-ups are apparently done by women, yep certainly some guys can be very bad people in relationships, but I find it hard to believe the guy is at fault 80% of the time. It’s easier to think that women are just not overly loyal, or heaven forbid they just do not love men, unless they continue to provide the right resources.

It’s interesting to turn all this around and say would I accept this kind of behaviour from my best mate? Most of the time you find yourself thinking, no way, he’d be a b*stard and no longer my best mate. Perhaps this is the standard we should hold all women too, the same standard we hold men to.

Maybe my experience is unique and unlucky, or maybe I have some fatal problem, who knows, but my experience is my experience. I am not bitter, I just observe.

The ironic part of all this, caused most likely by the feminist “entitlement” movement or perhaps just the base nature of women, is that I keep meeting women who are deep down miserable. If feminism is so good it should be making women happy, not miserable.

Feminism has been around since the 1960s, 50 years, how much longer can women play the “we’ve been suppressed” card?

Get out of the back office, take some risks, go and fricken invent something or build something for goodness sake! Then as guys we can turn the table and go after your resources, and find out just what a stupid approach it is, but hey many of us are just not that dumb. We already know.

I would not mind betting that anyone, man or women who goes for the “things”, instead of the “true love” primarily is going to end up miserable…and so it goes…but round like a circle in a spiral, is the “true love” just a fantasy anyway…something we know as a man we can give, but something a woman cannot give, at least not without sweeteners…a kind of male love psychological projection onto the woman?

Perhaps I live a fantasy but I just can’t accept the view that love does not exist, even if it is only in the smaller percentage of women. But perhaps I am wrong.

There are things far more valuable than resources, true love and time being two, and you can’t buy them.. well assuming they exist!
 

In2theGame

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This was a fantastic post. Your not alone in this and "unlucky" because i have seen and experienced the same thing as you described. Very unfortunately, this is truth.
 

VikingKing

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Or what you could potentially do for them. I've rode that train for a while. Make them think your going to do something for them (or have the potential to) and you can get a lot out of that.

You just have to make them think this.

Sh!t if I was you man I would be working real hard to turn your money into more money. Forget about that love sh!t. You want unconditional love and loyalty? Get a dog.

I'd almost tell you get a dog for love, and woman for sex. Keep these things separate.
 

Cheeks

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Pretty much. I think it's more accurate to say they love you for how you make them feel. And since women are fickle and easily influenced, once the feeling is gone so is the love.

If you think she "loves" you because you give her rides to work or whatever, you're a chump. Women know how to keep a guy invested on her by making you feel loved, but it's mostly a smokescreen.

The important thing to take away is women only care about themselves and their own feelings. So never feel guilty for walking away, punishing her or just ignoring her entirely.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Countermart,
"Do women only love you for what you can do for them"...Ah Yes,next question!
 

Maximummax

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I saw the movie - Wolf of wall street. I guess this movie sums up what you said.. When he loses money or thinks he is going to end up in Jail...She is out of the picture.
 

Colossus

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countermart said:
Perhaps I live a fantasy but I just can’t accept the view that love does not exist, even if it is only in the smaller percentage of women. But perhaps I am wrong.

I don't think you are wrong. I agree with you that there is a very small percentage of women who are purehearted enough to "ride or die" with you. Most men, if they are lucky, will only have one in their lifetime.

Keep in mind though that there is no such thing as "unconditional" love between a man and a woman. The only place I think this exists is between a parent and child, or a dog and his master. Romantic, or partnered love, is very much conditional. Your love for your hypothetical ideal woman is contingent on her being loyal to you, supporting you, maintaining her appearance, etc. Same goes for the woman.

Even if you do find that ride or die girl, who will stay with you throughout unemployment, sickness, injury, or a mental breakdown; her love has conditions. Everyone has limits, I just think that MOST women's "limits" are superficial and entirely self-serving. They are like snakes. People think their pet snakes love them, but a snake only cuddles with you because of your body heat, not because it thinks you are such a great guy, lol.
 

zekko

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Countermart, what you're talking about, of course, is Briffault's Law. I can't disagree with any of what you've said. And I'm in the same boat as you, I went through a divorce, so now my main concern is protecting my assets. I won't be getting married again, because I won't be putting them at risk.

Do women love? Or do they just become infatuated? I'm not sure any male can answer that question.

countermart said:
The last I heard the guy actually eventually went under, his business after the divorce failed. At some stage the guy must have actually believed she had loved him.
If the guy had good "inner game", of course he believed she loved him. Why would he question it?

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
I have seen zero evidence to the contrary, my own mother admitted it. "Love is when someone can help you achieve your goals" haha she is pretty red pill.
My mother also imparted me some wisdom, she told me "all women are fickle". I've never forgotten that, and I have yet to see any evidence to the contrary.
 

latinnova

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Live and learn fellows, I have to also agree with this. Before the housing market and the economy in general fell off a cliff, I was making a very comfortable living with a great wife and kids. After we took the fall (the economic fall) she was able to endure it for a while, for around 5 years to be exact. But she could no longer live with the financial hardship any more and went and found a man who had more to offer, finance wise. I never realized that wives were entitled to so much of one's assets when they leave you for another man. So, I have learned a substantial amount from this divorce and will use that knowledge for the better, knowledge is power.
There is no reason to get married again unless you want to provide an environment to raise children in, that is all. Other then that Marriage has no purpose and most definitely will not prevent either spouse from running around your back and then taking all your assets when she finds some one else to rekindle the spark. And when the luster wears away from the new man, then off she goes again. Rinse and repeat.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Latinnova,
I really empathised with your experience...It is such a bitter blow to work your guts out for a Family,then to have the Dead Hand of Society tear it all away from you..
 

latinnova

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Scaramouche said:
Dear Latinnova,
I really empathised with your experience...It is such a bitter blow to work your guts out for a Family,then to have the Dead Hand of Society tear it all away from you..
Yes it is indeed my friend. I worked hard and provided everything needed and then some, but when the economy fell apart it hit me particularly hard in my field. At that time it got to me, I asked myself why am I being punished for doing what a man is suppose to do? I don't dwell on these types of questions anymore, life just happens and you must adapt and move forward.

The divorce was the same. She get's a lot of child support, which I would have no problem with , if she actually spent it on the child. She got half of the 401k and a vehicle. But I was luckier then most men and didn't have to pay alimony.

Also, she released the me from my bonds and now I am free to pursue who ever I like, which is why I am here to relearn my game.
 

JNil

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I hear ya man, great post. I agree with everything. Except I am bitter, and becoming angry at the fact women can just lie through there teeth to no end and have no remorse on what they do, or there actions, because they are princesses, they don't think that far. In the book of pook I he says: Women, in sex, desire to be treated as an object and relish it.

I think I might take that as my mind set for everything.
They are an object.
They are my toys.
I will succeed and have success.
I will play with my toys.
I will enjoy my life.


They are toilet paper, wipe your ass with one sheet, and move to the next one. :rockon:
 

MOTU

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Seeking security and provisioning is their biological imperative. It is coded deep in their genes, just like the desire to spread the seed around is deep in ours.

I haven't made my mind up about love.
 

hockeyfreak79

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This is part of the reality we live in these days. Endless stories of this sh*t, a co-worker of mine got divorced & moved out twice in the past 2 years. And on top of this she was f*cking an ex of hers on the side and going on vacations.

He them takes her back like nothing happened! So then of course this chump goes and buys a new house on the lake just to make this b*tch happy. It's pretty pathetic if you ask me, he'll spend hours on the phone @ work tending to his princesses needs.

MOTU said it best---LOVE = security and provisioning.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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MOTU said:
Seeking security and provisioning is their biological imperative. It is coded deep in their genes, just like the desire to spread the seed around is deep in ours.

I haven't made my mind up about love.
All of our instincts were developed for living in groups of 200-300 people.

Men seek youth, since that made the most kids, and that meant more people with the DNA of those who liked young girls. Pure math.

Women seek "alpha-ness" cause guys that are "alpha" get more resources, and that keeps those kids (with the DNA that makes the guys like young girls and girls like alpha men) alive. Again, pure math.

The gene for men liking young women happened randomly, and was passed on due to statistics.

The gene for women like alphas happened randomly, and was passed on due to statistics.

In caveman days, when a guy and a girl got together, that "feeling" of love kept them together long enough to raise a few kids.

Men have that "feeling" longer than women to keep from from ditching her and banging other girls.

Women have that "feeling" for a MUCH shorter amount of time, since nature didn't require her to have it. No self-respecting caveman would bang a single mommy.

All that crap about "for better or for worse, etc," was made up by the church, to keep guys from braining each other to death when societies got too big.

The "together for life" idea was largely cooked up by the early religions of society (ten commandments, etc).

For a long while, the idea of everlasting punishment in hell was enough to override our caveman instincts.

Not any more.

That "feeling" (which many refer to as love) will NEVER last unless you CONSCIOUSLY cultivate it.

Now why would you consciously cultivate that feeling with somebody who's getting old and saggy?

You'd better have a good reason for being together. Shared goals, life plans, political beliefs, religion (one stat says that only 10% of couples who actually pray together regularly get divorced.)

That funny feeling in your tummy ain't gonna cut it.
 

Zunder

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Yeah old news, women are evil snakes for the most part.

But see how modern society through it's mediums still cultivates the "poor women" mantra. On any day there will be a story about a woman in a muslim country who had acid thrown on her face for some indiscretion, or a story about a gang rape in India, or the women kidnapped by Boka Haram, or the usual twisting of statistics in the west that purports to show women get paid less than men for doing the same work and on and on and on.

It's all fvcking bullshyte, but there is a sucker born everyday in this world. Lotsa suckers = Stupid fvckers.
 

sodbuster

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Of course they only love you for what you can do for them... the same as we do... We love them for sex, supper, and we'd love them MORE if we could get some silence....

When you meet a woman, she always thinks you are speaking in f*cking code like THEY do. She doesn't hear "I'll NEVER remarry", she hears "you haven't convinced me to marry you"...so she tries. She doesn't hear "I'm ALLERGIC to your cat" she hears "if I f8ck you enough, I can cure your allergies" When you tell a female friend "I'd date you IF you tell me you understand your dogs NOT being in my house" she thinks "he's using that as an excuse NOT to date me"
 

mangotot

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What the OP is saying true for everyone and anyone in any situation. You get involved in some someone, something or some kind of venture only because it benefits you or satisfies your emotions in some way.
 
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