Do women go on vacation looking for sex?!

[Interceptor]

G1000:

" Hey Plate, let's talk. You and I are not exclusive, this means we are free to do whatever we want. Fact of the matter is Cancun as you know is a f*ck fest orgy with 2-3-4 somes and swingers. If your intent is to have sex, that is perfectly fine. But I have to tell you, if we choose to ever be exclusive down the road, this may be a problem for me".

Excellent.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear DJD,
I would probably be as cynical as anyone,but I really do agree with Latino Mans comments.....Cruises and holidays abroad will see her meeting lots of people but she may or may not take action...whilst she may well want to,women are wary of their reputation,even amongst new found friends...I have been on 12 Pacific Cruises...lots of fun,lots of opportunities,lots of fraternising,but precious little action..Don't agonise about it,and don't ask her to bare her soul when she returns...It's the only way..

 

[mrRuckus]

As hypocritical as this may sound, whether in an exclusive or non exclusive relationship, I do have a problem with a girl sleeping with another guy besides me.

It's not hypocritical at all. You have the option of setting whatever rules for your life and relationships that you wish. And if the women don't like it, they don't have to play in your "game."

If you don't want to play the get $50 for landing on Free Parking house rule (not in the actual monopoly rule book), then you're welcome not to play at my house.

 

[Nelford]

I mean, you might as well then worry about every woman you meet from now on...you see what I'm saying? If you're that worried, ask her if she's got anything..tell her to be honest, as your health is on the line. As long as you use a condom, you should be fine. And don't eat her out(I'm not sure if you can still catch a disease from that though). I don't know if you eat chix out or not. I know I don't, but that's because I think it's disgusting and unsanitary.

Wow!! are you serious. If you don't the next man will.

 

[DJDamage]

Update and rant

Well she came back from her vacation and guess what!? She hooked up with someone from Cancun who lives in my area. I knew something was up when she didn't kiss me as I walked through the door.

She basically said that she met someone but is going to see him casually and would like to continue seeing me casually after all she said it was my idea (which it was). It didn't sit well with me, I thought I would be cool with her own spinining plates but fvck when you discover you ARE the plate and you actually like the girl then it sucks. I tried to play it cool and congradulated her for meeting someone but then it got uncomfortably quiet so I told her I gots to go and I will see her at work in a few days. She knew that I didn't like it, I can't fake sh1t like that.

Even though I tried the lifestyle of spining plates myself, it stills deep down feels cold and calculating to me. I envy some of the guys on here who can basically fvck a chick and chuck her to the side and go after another without feeling a gawd damn thing for her. I mean chicks do it all the time so this is a part of the game and take no prisoners approach is part of the equation, which is way better then some groveling AFC who falls for every chick he meets and doesn't understand why they don't like a nice guy?! Everytime I think I get the DJ thing I am being pulled back into the abyss.

Maybe I would have handled it better if I didn't know she would be fvcking other guys but it doesn't. Yes I admit even though I like to spin plates myself on occasions, I would like my plates to fvck only me! yes it is an ego thing and yes this is like having your cake and eating it too but fvck it, those are my rules.

oh and I wasn't seeing anyone but her for the past month or so but I have a few prospects line up. I guess that is what you get when you aren't prepared.

Yes and I had a couple shots of tequilla so goodnight all.

 

[DJDamage]

Well, I lost my virginity to two Mexican chicks, on vacation. And funny enough it was in Cancun.

Hope that helps.

Thanks buddy, it didn't help but it was funny never the less.

 

[RedPill]

oh and I wasn't seeing anyone but her for the past month or so but I have a few prospects line up. I guess that is what you get when you aren't prepared.

The utility of spinning plates lies in having multiple highly interested, equal or greater value options lined up (or absolute 100% confidence that these can be procured on short notice). I think most guys will interpret plate spinning to simply mean having knowledge of other women who could potentially become options. It can't be an effective strategy without genuine high-interest or equal-value plates. One must create a scenario where they have buyer's power, or 'an abundant mindset' as guru would call it, to be in a position of true selectivity.

I believe that it's not fair and sends too much of a control freak vibe to establish a boundary by which women can't play the field but you can; that said I also believe that highly interested women are emotionally blinded most of the time and won't play the field when genuine high interest is present.

Damage, if I were you I'd drop this one altogether, or at least put her on the back burner so long as she doesn't show high interest. You've already tipped her off as to the fact you don't have equal or greater options available to you, meaning she is fully in control of the frame now. Go develop better viable options, but do it without the intent of winning this one's favor.

 

[DJDamage]

I also believe that highly interested women are emotionally blinded most of the time and won't play the field when genuine high interest is present.

Yeah I believe that as well. A woman exploring her options is a woman that does not have high interest in one man but rather is spreading her interest around. If it was the other way around where she was already seeing another guy and I came in the picture then I would probably be fine with it but since a new guy came into the picture while I was in it, it tells me that my value just dropped.

Damage, if I were you I'd drop this one altogether, or at least put her on the back burner so long as she doesn't show high interest. You've already tipped her off as to the fact you don't have equal or greater options available to you, meaning she is fully in control of the frame now. Go develop better viable options, but do it without the intent of winning this one's favor.

I agree with you once again. After she told me she met another guy on vacation, I found my interest in her drop as well. My interest in her wasn't as high to begin with but I did like her and she had a nice tight body but over the course of a month and a half I found things that I didn't like about her. I don't know maybe I am looking for faults or warning signs or even perfection but no matter what, I did find things that on individual basis can be called small nuisances but once you put them together it accumulates and finding out about her overseas hookup was the last straw that broke the camel's back.

Here are my list of peevs about her that raised some red flags:

1) Her parents had a one night stand and that's how she came into this world.

2) She doesn't get along with any of her sibilings who have their own issues.

3) She sees a therapist on a regular basis to talk things out. She told me when she was a teen she tried unsuccessfuly to kill herself but is over that and is not the same person. She has panic attacks if she sees a spider.

4) Her place was often a mess. Their are usually cloths on the floor or dirty dishes everywhere. She smokes alot (and does some weed) and being a non smoker my cloths always stank after visiting her place.

5) She likes to curse alot and have a dark sense of humor. Most of the times I found myself on the defensive end when she called me names which later she said that she was joking around.

6) Regarding hygine, I myself take a shower every day. She on the other hand will go 2 days without taking a shower. I tried going down on her once and even though she is a petite sized woman her musk was a bit overbearing and her taste was bitter (I stopped after the second lick).

7) She has a warped view of her own religion (she is a Christian). Now I am not a religious man but in the back of my head I feared that if I had an accident with the condom that she may decide to keep the baby (like mother like daughter). Although even though I was wearing a rubber she still kept swallowing birth control pills ( I think she was fvcking another guy at the time). She told me that she finds men who view porn to be pathetic and disgusting.

8) Due to her oversexual aggrassive nature and everything I mentioned above, I found it hard to fvck her. As soon as I start to fvck her, I would go limp cause I started to think the other sh1t mentioned above and also I was afraid of getting STD's from someone who is very sexual.

Now is my list unreasonable or do I have an actual beef here?

 

[guru1000]

Well she came back from her vacation and guess what!? She hooked up with someone from Cancun who lives in my area. .

She OVERTLY disclosed sleeping with someone else.

I do not care what the arrangment is or how scarce you are, NEXT!

Show a backbone fellow Don Juan, and CHOOSE self-respect.

 

[GoodboyBadboy]

I can never see myself in position where a girl I'm fking sleeps around with other guys, NEVER. How the hell can you ever tolerate being disrespected like that? YOU are having sex with her, just imagine the girl YOU are fking being banged by some other man. WTF?! That is like someone coming into your house with his dirty shoes on, going through your fridge to eat all your food, then taking a sh!t in your toilet without flushing.
I don't care if it's a "having your cake and eating it too" mentality, but if I girl I'm seeing doesn't like me so much as to not have sex with other guys, I don't want her. I can flirt/sleep around with other girls if I want to, but not her. My life, my rules. If the girl you are seeing is causing you to feel bad/sad/worried, she's not worth the effort. Have the confidence and belief in yourself that you can and will replace her if her actions don't please you.
I'm in a long term relationship right now, have been for more than a year. My girl almost worships me, and I love her a lot (probably because I had this "egoistical" attitude as some might call it when I met her, because it allowed me to let me be just me, without having to adjust to any person or princiap), so I'm loyal to her. I wasn't to other girls before her though, and most likely won't be to any other girl I meet in the future. Whatever happens though I will never change my attitude and outlook on this stuff. I don't spend one minute worrying about my girl cheating or being disrespectful, because she knows, and most importantly I know, that I can and will carry out any consequence that results from her disrespecting me. I think it was someone here who said "It's not so much about trusting others as it is about trusting yourself to make the right decisions", and I really like that line, because it's so true. Just trust yourself to make the right decisions should anything happen in the future (both when it comes to women and everything else in life), and you don't have to waste your precious time in the present on things you cannot control.

 

[drmeathead]

its a shame dude that she did. you had no right to expect otherwise. but she did. it hurts. bad timing. i was on the flipside of this issue with a cancun trip last month.

i dont kno what to say other than the stars werent aligned on this one. from what you said about her issues that sounds like you made out on the deal. you got your **** touched and have the PERFECT excuse to drop her. no not her going on the trip or her banging some other guy but rather she just got forgotten about because she was out of sight out of mind for 10 days or whatever.

i wouldnt delete her number but i wouldnt call it first ever either. you ****ed her. she bonded with you on some level. you arent out of the game. go have some fun elsewhere and it was meant to be she will come back. if not who cares you can do better than a girl that is all whacked in her head.

 

[STR8UP]

Coulda guessed this would have happened, but I'm surprised you found out about it.

Doesn't sound like much of a loss if and when you do cut her loose though.

 

[jophil28]

She OVERTLY disclosed sleeping with someone else.

I do not care what the arrangment is or how scarce you are, NEXT!

Show a backbone fellow Don Juan, and CHOOSE self-respect.

I agree completely.

I have a rule - IF a woman whom I am seeing/dating/sleeping with/ in an LTR, goes and fvkks another guy WHILE she is in my life IN ANY WAY she is GONE.
NO Exceptions.

 

[decades]

hmmm. she met a guy from the same area in Cancun? And now they are seeing each other? Of course the skeptic in me believes they went down there together, but that's just me.

 

[MacAvoy]

As soon as I start to fvck her, I would go limp cause I started to think the other sh1t mentioned above and also I was afraid of getting STD's from someone who is very sexual.

Now is my list unreasonable or do I have an actual beef here?

Why do you keep a women that you can't stay hard for ... in your life? Who cares about all the other things, if you can't fvck her, then why is she in your life as a female sexual partner?

 

[Jitterbug]

That list, especially 6,7 and 8 contains HUGE red flags. This woman is no good to keep around. You've had your fun. I think it's time to cut it.

 

[Mr. Me]

My vote goes to #4 and #5 as being the big flags. Messy house = messy woman. Live with her and your house and life will be a mess too. Cursing? No vocabulary skills and a base character. Calls you names? Why did you stick around for more abuse? Oh, because... she has a hot body! Oh! Give up your self-respect for that, sure, why not?

You have to be stronger and move quicker.

Next time, don't wait until the camel's back is broken. You see consistent flags, be strong and get out! It doesn't get better, it gets worse - as you've found out. What would've happened if you got even more involved with her in time, and/or developed deep feelings for her? Can you imagine? Then BOOM and you're hurt and realize you've wasted 1, 2, 3 or more years of your life on this person. We want the camel's back to be nice and strong so you can ride right out. Not broken!

 

[mrRuckus]

She told me that she finds men who view porn to be pathetic and disgusting.

I guess 99% of us are pathetic and disgusting.

*washes his hands*
*high fives all around*

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear DJD,
Persistent exaction has it right,she took her own Ham Sandwich to the Wedding...

 

[DJDamage]

Seems like this thread was resurrected due to another fellow DJ that is going through the same situation, although from the looks of things its a still too early to tell if she will fvck or not and whether she chooses to spill the beans about it or not.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=148160&page=3

As for what's happening now with me and this chick. I stopped hanging around her and she seemed to have gotten the idea that I didn't condone her behaviour. I still see her at work and all and she also lives near by my place. The funny part is that after 3-4 weeks of virtual non communication due to my part she has come back to earth and is chasing me around.

I no longer believe she is seeing this new guy, I believe that it might have been a short sting after Cancun and when you take away all the elements of a dream vacation such as the ocean, the beach, the alcohol, the parties and the high you get from being on vacation then its back to reality. Now she started to be really nice to me, asking me and text messages me almost every day (sometimes I don't even bother to answer), asking me to come over that she would cook for me, dressing really nice around me with a low cut top that is quite revealing. She is basically trying to lure me back in but I pretend to be aloof. I drove her nuts when I stopped by her place so she can make me a nice dinner with wine/beer and I didn't even touch her. Its funny but I feel as if I dare to go back and fvck her that I would lose all this power I now posses and things would go downhill rather quickly.