Do women go for intellectual confidence?

[Dirtheart]

I would consider myself a very intelligent person and have a lot of accolades to support it. However, when I meet women I tend to play it down quite a lot to avoid giving them the idea I'm a nerd or an intellectual snob. I'm also a little concerned that they may think I'm too deep, rather than a fun person.

I'm not entirely sure if that's the right thing to do though. Any pointers?

 

[ToP DoN]

keep it light and at the same time dont pretend to be someone your not...look at the situation and pick your battles

 

[Yotsuya-san]

Our society sends mixed messages. On one end you have "ghetto is cool" and on the other you have "geek is chic!". The secret is coming off as intelligent without it seeming like you just memorized a lot of esoteric, arcane matter. Sometimes, life experience makes for the best conversation.

 

[Skel]

Ghetto is cool....kids listen to JayZ and all these other rappers who glorify the street. I can tell you first hand its not fun being Ghetto or poor. It sux period.

 

[DankNuggs]

Originally posted by Yotsuya-san
The secret is coming off as intelligent without it seeming like you just memorized a lot of esoteric, arcane matter.

Overusing vague SAT words to compensate for lack of intelligence is worse than spouting esoteric, arcane matter....


Being seen as intelligent is being able to connect with people in a wide variety of ways. Using vocabulary to distinguish yourself contradicts that goal.....

 

[JohnJones]

This question is more of a "big words/big topics" debate than about speaking with good grammar and elocution and such?

So long as the conversation isn't so random that it's out of place or artificial (such as discussing wave activity on Jupiter's moons while the NCAA tournament is on or trying to talk courtly love while watching Dumb and Dumber), it'll only be an issue if the girl is substantially less well educated than you are.

 

[Yotsuya-san]

Originally posted by DankNuggs
Overusing vague SAT words to compensate for lack of intelligence is worse than spouting esoteric, arcane matter....


Being seen as intelligent is being able to connect with people in a wide variety of ways. Using vocabulary to distinguish yourself contradicts that goal.....

Underusing vocabulary also shows lack of communication skills. If it comes natural to you, then just do it. If you have the kind of profession where good oral and written communication is paramount, then it becomes part of your personality. You want to know what's painful? Seeing one brotha come down on another brotha for "talkin' too proper cause it don' get da girls." For some of us, words like esoteric and arcane are out of character, that's fair comment. But for some of the rest of us, it comes more natural than intentionally mispelling our words to simulate ghettospeak.

 

[playasupreme]

I agree with Yotsuya-san on doing what comes natural. But on the other hand you have to cater your converation to whom you speak. If you use big words all the time it will threaten people who have a more limited vocabulary, and they will assume you think you are better than them. This is not the reaction you want at all. Balance is also a key so start working out and get some muscle going, there's nothing wrong with being the total package.

 

[iqqi]

Re: Do women go for intellectual confidence?

the intellectual ones do.

but are you humorous? that is more imortant.

 

[Spike_the_cowboy]

In the film 'The Tao of Steve' actor Donal Logue gives a perfect example of how to be light hearted and intellectual at the same time.

Watch the movie, but ignore the last 30 minutes of it.

 

[ScrewIt]

Re: Re: Do women go for intellectual confidence?

Originally posted by iqqi
Re: Do women go for intellectual confidence?

the intellectual ones do.

but are you humorous? that is more imortant.

definitely humor is more important than intellectual smartness

my female friend's bf is definitely not what you would call intellectual.
but he's always a fun guy to be around, he's always positive, and laughs just about every 5 mins or he has a smile on almost everytime. he's always a humorous guy and i think that's why she's really into him. plus i do think they make a great couple together.

but i believe every girl has their own different taste in what they want in a man.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

If a woman doesn't like 'intellectuals', then what does that tell you about her? How could intelligence do a man or a woman harm? It is only positive! Do you want a woman with a warped mindset who sees intelligence as a negative? Intelligent men are better providers and have their house and important matters in order!

What women don't like is arrogance or a humorless boring character that may accompany the intellectual mind. Women also fear that intellectuals have greater pursuits and interests besides the lesser goal of keeping the company of a woman, and thus the woman won't receive the man's undivided intention - they will be correct in this assessment!

Only hors don't like an 'intellectual' as a mate, they want guys that are 'fun', until it is time to 'settle' down then they look for a man that will be the best provider for them in their old age - read 'chump'!!!

 

[ScrewIt]

Re: Re: Re: Do women go for intellectual confidence?

Originally posted by ScrewIt
definitely humor is more important than intellectual smartness

my female friend's bf is definitely not what you would call intellectual.
but he's always a fun guy to be around, he's always positive, and laughs just about every 5 mins or he has a smile on almost everytime. he's always a humorous guy and i think that's why she's really into him. plus i do think they make a great couple together.

but i believe every girl has their own different taste in what they want in a man.

oh btw, i think my friend is wearing the pants in the relationship, she's brighter than her bf in the intellectual dept, so many times she'll decide stuff for him.

 

[JB101]

I consider myself very much an intellectual. The key is finding the right women to go out with. There's some sophisticated, worldy and attractive women out there, but the problem is, most people never see it, because these women don't fit the stereotypes on TV and in the mass media.

I remember going out with this overweight and trashy white woman once. She was the polar opposite of everything that I've ever wanted in a woman. It actually got me kind of depressed thinking that everyone was like this (one of the first times I'd gone out with a woman). You don't have to change yourself though; find people you fit with. Go to museums or exhibits or seminars or where ever else you'll think you'll find your ideal woman.

Whatever you do, don't settle for anything less than what you want.

 

[SuperMan_Wuss]

I don't know if this will help or relate to anything but my friend is extremly inteligent and he is a master with the chicks. I have watched him and I cant figure out how he does it but when he is with a chick (or anyone else for that matter) he never turns down his intelect but he helps to make the other person feel like they are just as smart as him. People are drawn to him cause they feel smarter and better about themselfs. So I guess the trick is to get the lady to feel like SHE is the genious when she is with you. something like that.

 

[HollywoodVid]

Okay, I'm a girl (sorry to invade guys) and normally don't post, but this one I had to.

If you have to play down your intellectual side for a girl, then maybe you should take a good long look at the girls you are trying to talk to and figure out if that's the kinda of girl you wanna be with. Eventually she will realize that you have a brain, and if that's a side she's never seen before, she might decide you aren't the guy she wants to be with.

I myself an a college graduate, as is my boyfriend, and i love to go out and have fun as much as anyone else, but if I can't even have a real discussion with a guy then he's out. I need someone I can have a conversation with, without feeling like I'm talking to a person with an IQ equivalent to a 3rd grader. And it does help to have a sense of humor as well.

If all your'e looking for is a piece of a**, then by all means act as stupid as you want.

But, if your'e as smart as you think you are, then we both know what kind of woman you want to be in a relationship with, and if you would quit hiding your intelligence, you might just find her. Believe me, we exist. I blow off idiots on a daily basis, but I've never once refused to talk to or dismissed a guy who actually had something to talk to me about, in fact that's how i met my boyfriend. Good luck.

 

[HollywoodVid]

Okay, I'm a girl (sorry to invade guys) and normally don't post, but this one I had to.

If you have to play down your intellectual side for a girl, then maybe you should take a good long look at the girls you are trying to talk to and figure out if that's the kinda of girl you wanna be with. Eventually she will realize that you have a brain, and if that's a side she's never seen before, she might decide you aren't the guy she wants to be with.

I myself an a college graduate, as is my boyfriend, and i love to go out and have fun as much as anyone else, but if I can't even have a real discussion with a guy then he's out. I need someone I can have a conversation with, without feeling like I'm talking to a person with an IQ equivalent to a 3rd grader. And it does help to have a sense of humor as well.

If all your'e looking for is a piece of a**, then by all means act as stupid as you want.

But, if your'e as smart as you think you are, then we both know what kind of woman you want to be in a relationship with, and if you would quit hiding your intelligence, you might just find her. Believe me, we exist. I blow off idiots on a daily basis, but I've never once refused to talk to or dismissed a guy who actually had something to talk to me about, in fact that's how i met my boyfriend. Good luck.

(A quick tip) Don't be ****y or arrogant about your intelligence, chances are if a girl is attracted to you (Brain and all) she won't be attracted to an inflated ego and you'll just come across as a jerk to her.

 

[Amog]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
If a woman doesn't like 'intellectuals', then what does that tell you about her? How could intelligence do a man or a woman harm? It is only positive! Do you want a woman with a warped mindset who sees intelligence as a negative? Intelligent men are better providers and have their house and important matters in order!

What women don't like is arrogance or a humorless boring character that may accompany the intellectual mind. Women also fear that intellectuals have greater pursuits and interests besides the lesser goal of keeping the company of a woman, and thus the woman won't receive the man's undivided intention - they will be correct in this assessment!

Only hors don't like an 'intellectual' as a mate, they want guys that are 'fun', until it is time to 'settle' down then they look for a man that will be the best provider for them in their old age - read 'chump'!!!

Apparently PRL beleives that all women hold the same values as him. That kinda reminds me of a man who's ghey... hmm...I dunno...

 

[PlayerSupreme]

Women will base their opinion of you by how you carry yourself and your actions and words.

If you act deep then you will get percieved as deep

If you want to be percieved as fun...then act like it. Take on the energy of being fun so that everything you do and say will reflect this nature.

 

[TheRisingSon]

Apparently...

Apparently PRL beleives that all women hold the same values as him. That kinda reminds me of a man who's ghey... hmm...I dunno...

Apparently Amog doesn't know what an AFC is... It is changing yourself to fit what a woman, or anyone for that matter, wants.