Do women ever really "learn"?

[Deep Dish]

If there is one thing I have repeatedly heard over the years is that young girls go through a bad boy stage but then "realize" and "learn" they actually like nice guys. After dumping the twelfth asswhole, they decide to give niceness a chance and as the story goes they enter upon this whole new wonderful experience. Of course, we guys learned in kindergarten we like being treated with respect—it takes the ladies the better part of two decades to catch up?

I'm a nice guy. I'm not a nice guy in the pathetic sense as defined on this website, but in the conventional sense I am fairly pleasant and nice. For the past five years I have heard how things get better for nice guys starting around the ages of 26 or 27. I am a fresh 27 and do see my buying power increasing.

But I have never bought into the explanation. I don't think women learn, I don't think they mature. Women are great at convincing themselves that they learn insights; they spend a great deal of time sitting with their girlfriends and copiously dissecting life and people, but then weeks later end up right back where they started. They spend years with those girlfriend pow-wows, trying to figure out why they keep making the same mistakes and coming up with all sorts of "strategies" or whatever. I then spend five minutes listening to them and say "You were abused as a kid and that's why you need chaos in your life," and they respond "You just told me my whole life story." Women are smart but our lives are driven by primitive instincts.

It certainly feels good on the soul to think all these women mature and get in touch with what "women really want", but I think it's a delusion of pride. Nice guys have too much pride. They want female adoration and so of course they happily latch onto the idea women mature. Rather, my guess is there are two breeds of women: women who like nice guys and women who think they like nice guys. The former has a long history of nice boyfriends and have been ever since they were in diapers. But for the latter, their thinking they like nice guys is far more manipulative. They want to settle down, raise a family, and the man is only but a pawn. Inevitably they grow sick of the hubby and probably start screwing around, probably divorce, and then "rediscover her sexuality" and be the limelight of society. These "cougars" play up their garbage baggage as gold as it's only women who turn the negative into a positive—it's "experience". Women who actually like nice guys usually are undesirable and so I refrain from giving them a thumbs up.

I know all that I just said is nothing groundbreaking but the question of sovereignty is a growing issue for me. I know I'm going to be, if not already, getting targeted for marriage. I've realized all women on this planet are crazy and so it's a matter of how much extra craziness a woman has and if it's worth the hassles, but when ulterior motives are added that then just further complicates life.

 

[Drum&Bass]

There is no such thing as NICE GUY or BAD BOY..
that phrase is meant to keep men dizzy and in a state of confusion about what behaviors women are attracted to.

I'm a nice guy. I'm not a nice guy in the pathetic sense as defined on this website, but in the conventional sense I am fairly pleasant and nice. For the past five years I have heard how things get better for nice guys starting around the ages of 26 or 27. I am a fresh 27 and do see my buying power increasing.

see, look at the confusion that is happening with you now !!

I have repeatedly heard over the years is that young girls go through a bad boy stage but then "realize" and "learn" they actually like nice guys

Some girls wise up find an interest and realize that theres more to life than using men for emotional, financial,security resources.

MOST girls become aware of the fact that they are becoming old/fat/ugly so they use their remaining good years (when they don't have to do as much maintenance to be attractive) to look for a sucker.

A sucker is a guy that will act romantic (like what he learned from the media) and will usually have no interests in life other than working and EXISTING without a sense of purpose. OR !! will be a man that does have a sense of purpose and has an interest (other than women and a family) but is not strong enough to maintain and pursue those interests. aka the guy that used to play football used to play piano, use to be a painter...got lazy/fat became a shoe salesman and hates his life, so he looks for a woman to provide his happiness...only to realize that OTHER PEOPLE DON'T PROVIDE HAPPINESS - ONLY HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS HAPPINESS !

The majority of women never really grow up but feel they are only valuable by having kids and a husband who provides for her (like they see happening with there equally selfish friends).

FIND A WOMAN WITH INTERESTS/PURPOSE IN LIFE THAT REQUIRES DISCIPLINE (other than pooping out babies and starting a family) and your chances for finding a quality mate will INCREASE !!!!!!!!

 

[Last Man Standing]

Hors use their vagina as a weapon - this is all they have! The hor could "hor" for so long then they realize that their looks fade and thus will become powerless and this is when they stray from the "bad boy" pimps and look for a "nice guy" chump to embrace her hor-rid condition and marry her for a lifetime of security!

Say "NO" to hos!!

 

[joekerr31]

women are attracted to confidence. the fact that they are idiots and often interpret 'bad boys' as confident is on them. most of them wise up as they get older and realize that the 'bad boys' are actually just f*cked in the head, have low self esteem, are angry and self destructive.

but my point is that a woman will be attracted to all kinds of men provided he is confident in his own skin and who he is. its easy to see why they mistake the 'rebel' bad boy as this when they are young - because he does HIS thing and doesn't care about anyone else.

if you think about it men are the same way. when you see a ***** who is VERY self confident with her *****ness, her sexuality, you want to bang the crap out of her even thoguh you know she is low quality material. now as you get older you start thinking about what you need in a woman to go the distance through life and be happy.

men are just as guilty of falling over low quality women who appear confident.

now whats the solution to all this? there isn't one. the reality is that it takes until your about 30 to develop real, deep self confidence (in my opinion). prior to that folks are either building confidence or faking it (a lot of people are pretty good fakers). there are a few exceptions of folks raised by exceptional parents who were confident and clear at a very young age - but most of us have to go through life trials and tribulations and find our inner strenght and confidence.

lots of people never find it and are always faking it. but usually around 30 you start to really see a serious difference between those who have found inner peace and self confidence and those that still have no clue what it is.

being a nice guy is great. im a nice guy and women want to get in my pants all the time. MY problem is that being a nice guy AND being a confident guy is like tossing a slab of bloody steak into a pack of starving wolves - hehe. A man who is confident, good in bed AND a nice guy is like the winning lottery ticket to most women.

keep working on your self and your life and your confidence will continue to grow and pretty soon you'll realize that YOU really are the prize. you'll laugh at the bad boys and all their drama and "gimmicks" for portraying themselves as confident.

 

[STR8UP]

now whats the solution to all this? there isn't one. the reality is that it takes until your about 30 to develop real, deep self confidence (in my opinion). prior to that folks are either building confidence or faking it (a lot of people are pretty good fakers). there are a few exceptions of folks raised by exceptional parents who were confident and clear at a very young age - but most of us have to go through life trials and tribulations and find our inner strenght and confidence.

lots of people never find it and are always faking it. but usually around 30 you start to really see a serious difference between those who have found inner peace and self confidence and those that still have no clue what it is.

I don't even think that being born with exceptional parents can instill the kind of confidence that comes with age.

And it's been my personal experience that it more like early mid 30's before you really hit your groove.

Of course this all depends upon how you have lived your life. If you're involved in a sh!tty marriage and haven't managed to make anything of yourself it might not even happen for you, as you mention.

being a nice guy is great. im a nice guy and women want to get in my pants all the time. MY problem is that being a nice guy AND being a confident guy is like tossing a slab of bloody steak into a pack of starving wolves - hehe. A man who is confident, good in bed AND a nice guy is like the winning lottery ticket to most women.

And to think for years I've been wondering why they all want to marry me...lol

Seriously though, you're dead on.

Unless a woman is really fukked in the head she would be crazy not to want a guy like this.

keep working on your self and your life and your confidence will continue to grow and pretty soon you'll realize that YOU really are the prize.

The confidence thing can sneak up on you. Before you know it things fall into place and women seem to be attracted to you at every turn.

you'll laugh at the bad boys and all their drama and "gimmicks" for portraying themselves as confident.

I laugh at the wanna be thugs that come into my store. They act like they're gonna snap any second and go apesh!t on you, and you see their girlfriend behind them rolling her eyes like she's seen the same thing a thousand times.

 

[joekerr31]

word up str8up.

btw, i want to apologize for ripping on you a while back in some posts.

not sure why i did. either way it was uncalled for.

i agree with the mid 30s thing too by the way.

for me i really felt i found a groove around 28. but surprise surprise, at 32 im realizing that the groove goes farther than i though it did. hehe.

my goal is to be the best damn 40 the world has ever seen. a man who is totally at peace with himself, fit and healthy and making the world a better place.

 

[STR8UP]

word up str8up.

btw, i want to apologize for ripping on you a while back in some posts.

not sure why i did. either way it was uncalled for.

You did? Must not have pissed me off too badly!

i agree with the mid 30s thing too by the way.

for me i really felt i found a groove around 28. but surprise surprise, at 32 im realizing that the groove goes farther than i though it did. hehe.

my goal is to be the best damn 40 the world has ever seen. a man who is totally at peace with himself, fit and healthy and making the world a better place.

I think I started to hit it around 29ish now that I think about it. Thats when I started to get educated about women, started working out, started getting some respect from people who could see that I was making something of myself. Things really got rolling at about 33-34, but it wasn't an overnight thing. Hopefully things will only get better!

How glad are you that you aren't a 32 yr old woman? lol

 

[Beginner1]

Some well said stuff on this topic. I found my inner self at about 27 and I believe that I might have found it a little younger than some people. My reasoning for that is that I always the nice guy and I never switched over to the other side which from my perspective seemed like they were having more fun. I stood my ground and new deep within myself that what they were really doing was fooling themselves and the longer they continue to go down the wrong path, will only delay the time that they begin to realize the big picture and everything in the world begins to make total sense. My uncle is 48 and I am still not sure if he has found an inner peace and he just still does not get it. Man that is a lot of years wasted. The choice is each and everyones own decision. Should you do the right thing and be confident that at the right time all the pieces of the puzzle will just fall into place or, will you give in to what is quick and easy but leaves you feeling empty inside?

 

[resilient]

Great post Deep Dish.

It's encouraging to know that you start to receive more attention as you get older.

I'm hesitant to jump into an LTR with a woman who's been through lots of guys though because they usually come with a lot of baggage, but I'm learning that if the girl isn't happy with her life, parents, job, friends, etc. she won't be happy in a LTR and that will lead to her integrity failing by going for anything that promises the grass to be greener. Or once she has something good, she'll drop it and leave it for a relationship that gave her the "feelings" she had before.

Some of them are basket cases and love the abuse because they love drama and were raised in a broken home. It's the nice guy who unfortunately gets to try to sort out her mess without sometimes even knowing it.

I'll be leaving my AW g/f soon because I can see where the train leads. You guys have taught me a lot.

To DJinTraining, I'd say to be wary of your girl because if she's confused about her life situation, her relationship with you, and seeks for attention from past flings, than you got to weigh your options because the woman isn't playing up on her integrity.

 

[Drum&Bass]

I am a fresh 27 and do see my buying power increasing.

i mis-read what you typed but I still stand by what I say...No such thing as "nice guy" or "bad boy" just suckers or guys who don't put up with bullshiit

 

[Slickster]

Do women ever really learn?

NO!!

Women operate solely for the purpose of male attention.

They will do whatever works for them at the time. If it means being a slVt then she'll be a slvt. If she can get attention from the nice guys then she'll go that route.

Doesn't matter if they're 8 or 80. Attention, attention, attention.

So many guys say they don't understand women. They let women rule their world's. Its so simple. Men possess what women desire.

Your attention is their currency. Spend it wisely.

 

[comote]

women are attracted to confidence. the fact that they are idiots and often interpret 'bad boys' as confident is on them. most of them wise up as they get older and realize that the 'bad boys' are actually just f*cked in the head, have low self esteem, are angry and self destructive.

but my point is that a woman will be attracted to all kinds of men provided he is confident in his own skin and who he is. its easy to see why they mistake the 'rebel' bad boy as this when they are young - because he does HIS thing and doesn't care about anyone else.

if you think about it men are the same way. when you see a ***** who is VERY self confident with her *****ness, her sexuality, you want to bang the crap out of her even thoguh you know she is low quality material. now as you get older you start thinking about what you need in a woman to go the distance through life and be happy.

men are just as guilty of falling over low quality women who appear confident.

now whats the solution to all this? there isn't one. the reality is that it takes until your about 30 to develop real, deep self confidence (in my opinion). prior to that folks are either building confidence or faking it (a lot of people are pretty good fakers). there are a few exceptions of folks raised by exceptional parents who were confident and clear at a very young age - but most of us have to go through life trials and tribulations and find our inner strenght and confidence.

lots of people never find it and are always faking it. but usually around 30 you start to really see a serious difference between those who have found inner peace and self confidence and those that still have no clue what it is.

being a nice guy is great. im a nice guy and women want to get in my pants all the time. MY problem is that being a nice guy AND being a confident guy is like tossing a slab of bloody steak into a pack of starving wolves - hehe. A man who is confident, good in bed AND a nice guy is like the winning lottery ticket to most women.

keep working on your self and your life and your confidence will continue to grow and pretty soon you'll realize that YOU really are the prize. you'll laugh at the bad boys and all their drama and "gimmicks" for portraying themselves as confident.

I agree 100%. I think that most of our problems with women would be solved if we simply learned to look more closely at the women we choose to let into our lives.

I learned many things because of the girl I dated that indirectly brought me to this web site. Most important of those lessons . . . don't get involved with someone who is going to make your life miserable, I'ld rather be alone. It's amazing how many guys I overlook this fact for a vagina and some breasts to play with.

 

[FM 3321]

I don't think women ever "learn" and I think the simple fact is that they don't ever need to "learn." Women aren't ever going to change so it's up to us men to change. We can sit around and wonder if women will ever "learn" or start teaching ourselves how to become more successful with the women we want.

So the only people that ever "learn" is men. That's why we run the world because we learn. When a woman has a nice rack, perfect ass, beautiful face and awesome legs she never needs to "learn."

 

[Drum&Bass]

start teaching ourselves how to become more successful with the women

call me lazy, but I just don't feel like it anymore, from 14 - 25 I was all about hooking up with women...but now the pay off isn't worth the effort...I keep my body in MORE THAN IDEAL shape, I'm an honest, loyal guy, with a lot of interests, motivation, ideas and love to offer the right woman, thats all I need...I aint learning shiit to impress no body but my self these days.

 

[STR8UP]

call me lazy, but I just don't feel like it anymore, from 14 - 25 I was all about hooking up with women...but now the pay off isn't worth the effort...I keep my body in MORE THAN IDEAL shape, I'm an honest, loyal guy, with a lot of interests, motivation, ideas and love to offer the right woman, thats all I need...I aint learning shiit to impress no body but my self these days.

Ok, you're LAZY.

But I'm the exact same way. It really just hit me over the last few years, and it might have a little to do with the increase in the number of opportunities presented to me, but I really can't be bothered with actively pursuing women nowadays. It's a hell of a lot of work even when it's not and I have better things to do with my time.