Do women ever change?

[Click Here]

When you date someone for a long time and through the course you notice certain aspects of their character that you would not want a future wife to possess... and everyone on the forum would say "Red Flag" or "Next" is it possible for them to change?

I think about how much my views have changed in the past year or two and through that relationship and realize I have become better, so do they?

Are most of you under the impression that once a women exhibits some display of "red flag" behavior she must be nexted?...

Or can she change?

 

[Ser_i]

imo.. if she is worth all the trouble to get her down and "have her" I say yes a woman can be changed but it will take time and a lot of concentrated work to get her in to a form you like.. however I doubt any major changes can be accomplished.

I don't skip red flags right away. I try to get into a few conv. with them and use it for the next "red flag type of girl" so I can get a bit further and so on.

 

[Click Here]

Lol, ser_i I just read your post on final stage of one-itis no wonder your saying the can be changed your in a similar situation.

I think the stage you are at is critical... In that stage you can make or break getting over her so choose wisely you may be bringing heart-ache on yourself and damage the progress youve made.

 

[NewMan]

If you have to change someone she's not for you.

Why change someone. Let them be themselves.

You either except them for who they are or not.

 

[Click Here]

Originally posted by NewMan
If you have to change someone she's not for you.

Why change someone. Let them be themselves.

You either except them for who they are or not.

Notice how I didn't entitle it "Can YOU change a woman?"

I don't want to have to change them, I want honest opinions on whether or not they will change themselves.

 

[Survivor]

Click, you are asking questions that none of us on this forum can answer with any certainty.

There are no absolutes when it comes to any person or situation. All I can advise is to trust your gut instinct when dealing with your own emotions and with other people.

The "rules" are only there as "training wheels" to make sure you don't disrespect yourself in the process.

Rules are good to have in the beginning but don't necessarily swear by them in all of your dealings. The key to commanding respect is this: Never, at any point of a relationship, doubt your ability to attract multiple women.

Hope that helps,

Survivor

 

[NewMan]

What in particular are you talking about? Major character flaws? or some minor things?

Yes, people change - every experience changes us - it makes us who we are.

But changing basic character attributes? I think it's possible but unlikely.

 

[Click Here]

Originally posted by NewMan
What in particular are you talking about? Major character flaws? or some minor things?

Yes, people change - every experience changes us - it makes us who we are.

But changing basic character attributes? I think it's possible but unlikely.

A girl who for one reason or another feels she has to try to do better then you at some point, when for a while you had her whipped for example. Do women "settle down" and realize what they had is better then what they can get eventually after then go out and have "their fun"?

 

[NewMan]

Do women "settle down" and realize what they had is better then what they can get eventually after then go out and have "their fun"?

I think people do settle - without a doubt. But there are several things here to note.


Perhaps in some areas the woman settles - for example, perhaps one of her ex's had a bigger D@ck - or performed oral sex better - or made more money - had big arms etc etc. Does that mean she's really settling - no because perhaps you (or whoever) are a better overall package - so these things that are not quite up to scratch on you (and we all have them) are just part and parcel of the situation.

I relate to your question - being - this girl had her fun - went out with the jerks, the bad boys, the guys with bikes etc.... had fun with these guys - screwed around etc - and now she's with some guy who can provide for her - has a good job and will be a good father - so thats why she's with him....

Is that what your thinking about?

I think this happens alot. But being a DJ - we need to provide the excietment in our relationships. We need to live our lives well - with that comes a sense of creativity, doing htings out of the ordinary - and every now and again being crazy.

But it's also something of self confidence. The guy need the cofidence to say - yeah I am the man - and if I feel that this woman is settling, then I'm going to move on for my piece fo mind.

I don't know if this makes sense or answers your questions?

 

[penkitten]

i think that eventually everyone changes. time has a way of growing us all up, women and men.
however, usually the things you want someone to change never change and people tend to get set in their own ways of thinking and acting and reacting,
and the things you didnt want them to change is the things that actually get changed.
i agree with the guy who said if you would want to change someone to be with them why bother.
if you feel that there are red flags and dont want to waste your time in the long run decide if what you want to be changed will bother you too much if it never changes.
make a decision from there.

 

[WaterTiger]

I can't tell you how many times my friends have been gushing over some new guy by saying "He'd be perfect if he would just change this one little thing."

I agree with New Man when he says that minor things can be changed, but major charactor flaws are there for life. If she WANTS to change these things for you then she probably can. But the problem is, she won't be the person you went for in the first place. She'll be a different woman, and you might not like what she becomes.