Do the rules change for average chicks?

[Matt Rogers]

Over the years I have come to realise that I prefer the sweet, girl next door sort of girl. The 6s of this world who are pretty but far from perfect and very down to earth. I like them slightly shy (I find hot, arrogant chicks emasculating) and often a little bit geeky in a cute sort of way (think Michelle Flaherty in American Pie)

I am a pretty average looking sort of guy, and not especially sporty, outgoing or aggresive, and have long realised that the really hot girls are out of my league and are not worth all the effort. So I have decided to lower my visual standards somewhat and focus more on personality-looking for a girl who would make me happy. I know this is anathema on these boards, as the focus seems to be on average guys getting gorgeous girls who are used to having every guy swoon over them.

My question is do the DJ rules change with the average girls? For example I often find that compliments and making an effort to draw these girls out by asking them about themselves works really well. I have also found that if you are too much of a challenge or use too much ****y and funny it turns them off.

Can anyone else think of subtle ways in which the rules change with these sort of girls?

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Yes they do.

 

[RussianRocket]

Why would you sell yourself short like this?

It depends on what makes you happy. If you dig those average chicks, if THEY are worthwhile to you, then go for it.

Personally, I get my high from boning the 9s and 10s. I can't settle for less, that is selling myself short. It doesn't do ME justice.

The rules would not change I supose. Scrutinise these average looking females, I'm guessing if you have the basics down, anything will work at this point - As long as you don't intimidate them. This might be something they aren't used to and might think you're mocking them. Heh.

 

[Caveman]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
Yes they do.

Short but simple and true

The only thing that's different for average girls is that you don't need neg-hitting. Personally I wouldn't even want a chick that I need to neg-hit first.

The point about being a DJ is that you are confident with who you are and you don't suplicate to anyone. You will also not have your whole world revolve around this girl. This attitude goes for all girls.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
I have also found that if you are too much of a challenge or use too much ****y and funny it turns them off.

Can anyone else think of subtle ways in which the rules change with these sort of girls?

Replace ****y/funny with highly confident talk and be a tad bit aloof. They should feel lukewarm about whether you are really all that interested in them.

 

[Don_Marko]

Good question, yes the rules change somewhat but a lot of the principles remain the same.

I'm assuming that you are reffering to 7s and 8s and hoping that you won't compromise your visual standards further. The best way to approach them IME is to be direct - You're cute and I'd like to get to know you, then focus on building rapport and establishing connection by elicting and mirroring values. Don't bust on her balls, do it a little by challenging her and making her explain herself more and then act like you finally understand her. If done properly this will only intensify the feeling of connection on her part.

By your posts you seem like a deep and thoughtful guy so rapport shouldn't be a problem as long as you aren't acting all wussy and overly nice, in fact don't be nice at all, nice is bullsh!t, being quiet, thoughtful and deep while keeping a great convo going on will work much better for you. And also be careful that there is a window of time at which you can make your move, or otherwise you'll be welcomed to the Friend Zone

 

[Matt Rogers]

Thanks for the compliments Don Marko. They made my day! I always felt that being quiet, thoughtful and deep was a disadvantage with chicks and it was better to keep the convo light and be very energetic and funny. Nice to know that it is an angle that can be worked.

As far as settling goes-I am not selling myself short I am just being realistic. I have realised that provided the girl is nice to look at and desirable, personality is a lot more important for a relationship. If given a choice between a cute, sweet girl who is fun to be with, and a beautiful girl with an attitude who is boring, I would go for the former every time. Of course if I could find a beautiful girl with the attributes of the former I would marry her. I also know that I am young at 20 and inexperienced. With experience and maturity (and higher status and greater wealth) I will be able to graduate from 6s and 7s to 8s and maybe even 9s should I choose.

Is there more of a role for showing interest in the chick? With beautiful girls they tend to assume you are interested regardless so I tend to lean back a bit at first and play it cool. But presumabely with less good looking girls they are more insecure about their looks and will assume you don't like them unless you make a show of giving them a compliment or two, and giving them a bit of attention and asking them out sooner rather than later. That was the message I was getting from Don Marko and just wanted to confirm my interpretation is right?

 

[DLS]

Your doing good. Experience is the key here. As you get more experienced a wider selection of girls will be avaliable to you. And in no time you will no longer be attracted to 6's, since you know you can score a 7 or 8 easily, an so on. Just do yourself a favor and realize that your not in love with the 1st relationship that works out pretty good.

To your questions about showing signs of intrest in shy/average looking girls. I think you do understand the general idea. Like allready mentioned the only thing I would do differently is not bust on her as much. But you still have to be a challenge.

For example, when she tells you she likes you a lot, instead of responding with an I like you even more answer, you say nothing. Just smile say I know and kiss her. You are not being cold and it goes perfectly with your deep and thoughtful personality. Show her you like her with your actions not words.

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
But presumabely with less good looking girls they are more insecure about their looks and will assume you don't like them unless you make a show of giving them a compliment or two, and giving them a bit of attention and asking them out sooner rather than later.

THE FORTUNE FAVOURS THE BOLD
It is very important to make your sexual attraction appearant without reservations and apology. Sorta Gunwitch styles. She will naturally feel flattered for your interest, so do not excuse for it and tell her right away. That means to be bold with a little touch of arrogance, and IMO it will go over well with your inherent deep/nice guy qualities. Contradictory personalities convey depth and envoke attraction.

 

[Matt Rogers]

I like the sound of that Don Marko!! Catching girls by surprise by doing something that they would not expect from a guy like me.

I wasted a lot of my time chasing unattainable (for a beginner) 9s and 10s in the belief that having read the DJ bible that despite being a pretty average guy I could immediately pull hotties. But I realise that the main thing holiding me back is lack of confidence with women and confidence comes from experience.

One thing that does puzzle me though is the following: why is it that with girls if they are not so hot all they have to do is lower their standards and they can get lots of men, whereas with us men, less hot girls are only a little bit easier than hot girls? I have been rejected by girls who are actually quite plain despite their not having a boyfriend, but then I have had some success with a few girls who I initially felt were out of my league (before screwing it up by placing them on a pedestal).

 

[Luveno]

What are you doing talking to average chicks?

Average chicks aren't worth anyone's time. Look at athletes: average athletes don't get on the good teams, so why should an average chick play on my game? Not even worth your time bro.