do spoilt demanding princesses still act that way even when they are attracted to u?

[pete101]

i matched someone on tinder tonight, good looking iranian woman but had a fat a$$ (for some that's their thing for me not so much).

i asked her where she lived in town she told me and asked me same, i knew she wanted me to say the same area as her (she's a super rich girl i could tell) and was moving away soon to be nearer my family. i then suggested we get together in the area tomorrow for chocolate treats at a nice cafe i know in our area and to leave me the number. she did.

this is how the text convo ensued:

me: HB this is my number, pete (tinder)
her: that's a cool name
her: i can meet u in the morning xuz i'll be busy from lunch
her: i have a friend from cali here
me: thanks. im busy till lunch, i could do around 11.45am or 4-5pm, how's then?
her:we can meet up at 11:45
her: which restaurant or cafe?
me: ok cool, let's make it 12 just in case then, im coming from brunch so dont want to be late. see you tomorrow.
me: we'll go to (name) chocolatier in x place. met me outside y station it's 2mins walk from there.
her: u r comign from brunch i must go to bring her for 1pm. let's meet up another time.
her: maybe next weekend for brunch

(this is where i made an initial mistake)

me: i can do 11.45am then i'll just leave a bit early. we can meet for a quick coffee if you're pushed for time. what time do you need to leave by?
me: i have to meet friends at 1pm so that suits me too anyway.

(yes i know i must come across too eager to accommodate her my mistake)

her: no, im not in hurry to find someone nor it's a business meeting. if you like you can invite me next sunday to a nice place for brunch.

(this is where i started to get annoyed, she was demanding brunch somewhere nice - typical spoilt behavior from iranian/russian women)

what should i have done at this point? i didn't like she was demanding brunch somewhere nice etc.. being a spoilt demanding princess.. my normal reaction is to seek conflict at this point and be aggressive but i know that isn't how to handle these things. would the right thing to be to ignore what she said and just offer coffee again next weekend? (she'd decline but im not caving in to her demands)


ok so now what i actually did (i know it's wrong now but i need to learn):

me: i meant it more to see if we have chemistry first and foremost, then we can talk about brunch. i need to know you're meeting me for the right reasons besides we dont know if we'll like each other in person.
me: p.s. im not really into spoilt demanding princesses so if that's you then we're not a match. you must be iranian.
her: yes im not a one night stand fast
her:good luck
her: i dont ask to go to brunch on a yacht in monaco
her: save ur money if that's ur worry. i dont have that issue.

how did she know it was about money? was it that obvious? i didn't like how she's unsubtely tryna rub it in my face she has money and i dont.

me: im not looking for a one night stand im looking for a relationship. im just not attracted to women who demand 'brunch' at a 'nice place' before i have even met them! (for the record wherever i choose would have been nice) if you have to ask..you dont get. i want a woman to like me for me..not where we're going..it seems your priorities lie elsewhere.
me: that's isn't my worry, it's whether you're in this for the right reasons.. or just want to be spoilt. if you hadn't unsubtly demanded it i would been inclined to offer..now im not as your motives are suspicious. only iranian and russian women seem to behave this way.

was it that obvious it was about money issue when she brought it up? i thought she was just playing the 'one night stand' card and the being cheap issue.

what would have been the alpha thing to do? i felt that if she matched me on tinder then she was reasonably physically attracted yet her spoilt unsubtle demanding princess thing kicked in regardless.. is this to be expected?

i always thought it they are physically attracted to you they'd do anything you want.. go for coffee.. etc.. they should just be happy to meet you.. it's not as if what i suggested was that bad even for a spoilt princess who demands dinner/brunch etc.

 

[marmel75]

My comments in bold..

i matched someone on tinder tonight, good looking iranian woman but had a fat a$$ (for some that's their thing for me not so much).

i asked her where she lived in town she told me and asked me same, i knew she wanted me to say the same area as her (she's a super rich girl i could tell) and was moving away soon to be nearer my family. i then suggested we get together in the area tomorrow for chocolate treats at a nice cafe i know in our area and to leave me the number. she did.

Why are you taking her to a chocolate place? Drinks brother. Drinks.

this is how the text convo ensued:

me: HB this is my number, pete (tinder)
her: that's a cool name
her: i can meet u in the morning xuz i'll be busy from lunch
her: i have a friend from cali here
me: thanks. im busy till lunch, i could do around 11.45am or 4-5pm, how's then?
her:we can meet up at 11:45
her: which restaurant or cafe?
me: ok cool, let's make it 12 just in case then, im coming from brunch so dont want to be late. see you tomorrow.
me: we'll go to (name) chocolatier in x place. met me outside y station it's 2mins walk from there.
her: u r comign from brunch i must go to bring her for 1pm. let's meet up another time.
her: maybe next weekend for brunch

You are seriously arguing over 15 minutes? Whats the difference between 11:45 and 12 pm really?? She probably wouldn't have gotten there til 12 pm. Should have left the date at 11:45 and then texted her around 11:15 or 11:30 "I might be running a few minutes late".

(this is where i made an initial mistake)

me: i can do 11.45am then i'll just leave a bit early. we can meet for a quick coffee if you're pushed for time. what time do you need to leave by?
me: i have to meet friends at 1pm so that suits me too anyway.

That came off as really eager and desperate to meet with her. You killed your chances right there. Never try go back and say you can do something if you already told them you couldn't. Then you add something that sounds like you just made it up by saying you need to meet friends as well, even if its true. Makes you seem as if you are rearranging your life for a first date for them. Comes off as lame and makes you look like a loser. Better reply would have been "OK, its cool, some other time" and then hit her up in a few days or early next week.

(yes i know i must come across too eager to accommodate her my mistake)

Yeah, exactly

her: no, im not in hurry to find someone nor it's a business meeting. if you like you can invite me next sunday to a nice place for brunch.

(this is where i started to get annoyed, she was demanding brunch somewhere nice - typical spoilt behavior from iranian/russian women)

She already decided that she wasn't going out with you. You fvcked up, how can you be annoyed with her when you did it to yourself? That's what you need to learn, accept and fix. YOU are the problem in these situations most times, NOT her. Her behavior isn't spoiled, its disinterested. The "nice place" for brunch was basically like her way of making it so she at least got something out of going out with you since she wasn't interested anymore.

what should i have done at this point? i didn't like she was demanding brunch somewhere nice etc.. being a spoilt demanding princess.. my normal reaction is to seek conflict at this point and be aggressive but i know that isn't how to handle these things. would the right thing to be to ignore what she said and just offer coffee again next weekend? (she'd decline but im not caving in to her demands)

Again, why the hell are you willingly trying to set up dates that don't involve alcohol?

ok so now what i actually did (i know it's wrong now but i need to learn):

me: i meant it more to see if we have chemistry first and foremost, then we can talk about brunch. i need to know you're meeting me for the right reasons besides we dont know if we'll like each other in person.
me: p.s. im not really into spoilt demanding princesses so if that's you then we're not a match. you must be iranian.
her: yes im not a one night stand fast
her:good luck
her: i dont ask to go to brunch on a yacht in monaco
her: save ur money if that's ur worry. i dont have that issue.

how did she know it was about money? was it that obvious? i didn't like how she's unsubtely tryna rub it in my face she has money and i dont.

Again, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE THEM ON A DATE THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE ALCOHOL? You should have just ignored it and then next week invited her out for a drink. Your response was really childish. Your 5% chance of getting her out on a followup evaporated to -100% after that.

me: im not looking for a one night stand im looking for a relationship. im just not attracted to women who demand 'brunch' at a 'nice place' before i have even met them! (for the record wherever i choose would have been nice) if you have to ask..you dont get. i want a woman to like me for me..not where we're going..it seems your priorities lie elsewhere.
me: that's isn't my worry, it's whether you're in this for the right reasons.. or just want to be spoilt. if you hadn't unsubtly demanded it i would been inclined to offer..now im not as your motives are suspicious. only iranian and russian women seem to behave this way.

I don't even know what to do with this. If you are going to behave like this, just stop messaging and talking with women. They don't owe you anything. You set yourself up for all of this to begin with by trying to take her on a date that was not meeting up for a "drink", then you act all Butt Hurt when she shuts you down and calls you out for acting childish.

was it that obvious it was about money issue when she brought it up? i thought she was just playing the 'one night stand' card and the being cheap issue.

what would have been the alpha thing to do? i felt that if she matched me on tinder then she was reasonably physically attracted yet her spoilt unsubtle demanding princess thing kicked in regardless.. is this to be expected?

STOP BLAMING HER BECAUSE YOU FVCKED UP!!! STOP IT!! THE ALPHA THING TO DO WOULD BE TO STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR YOUR BEHAVIOR AND FIX IT!! YOU CAUSED THIS, NOT HER! ACCEPT THE FACT YOU FVCKED UP AND THEN LEARN FROM IT AND DON'T DO IT NEXT TIME!! THAT 2 or 3 PAGE TEXT WAS JUST DREADFUL...JUST HORRIBLE

i always thought it they are physically attracted to you they'd do anything you want.. go for coffee.. etc.. they should just be happy to meet you.. it's not as if what i suggested was that bad even for a spoilt princess who demands dinner/brunch etc.

Here you go again, blaming her...until you realize YOU are the problem, you are going nowhere with women. She might be physically attracted to you, but you managed to turn her off before you even met her. Get it together bro. I mean stop with the "She's a spoiled princess" routine. You fvcked up and now she's a spoiled princess because she doesn't want to go out with you? Who the fvck cares where she wants to go? Ignore it and tell her to meet you for a drink.

You need to realize that until you are willing to stop blaming women for the problems you are causing yourself and start looking at ways to fix them, you are going to be in a really bad place---I mean its pretty hard to fvck up that bad before even meeting a woman.

 

[pete101]

My comments in bold..



You need to realize that until you are willing to stop blaming women for the problems you are causing yourself and start looking at ways to fix them, you are going to be in a really bad place---I mean its pretty hard to fvck up that bad before even meeting a woman.

i understand what you're saying and i accept after that point of going back saying i could do it was the mistake, i just wanted to know what i should have done at that point and you said just say 'ok let's meet some other time'

she is spoiled, it isn't what i did that turned her off i dont care frankly she is a spoilt woman asking for 'brunch somewhere nice' demanding sh1t. what you said above to not go back on what i said, in fact i should have just said 11.45am see you tommorrow.

reason i dont go for drinks is because it'll be ridiculously expensive.. she's not going to go to some dive bar she lives in the most expensive borough here im not dropping 50 dollars on drinks with someone i've never met before (yes drinks are 25 dollars each here) she would only go somewhere expensive as she is spoilt.

 

[marmel75]

i understand what you're saying and i accept after that point of going back saying i could do it was the mistake, i just wanted to know what i should have done at that point and you said just say 'ok let's meet some other time'

she is spoiled, it isn't what i did that turned her off i dont care frankly she is a spoilt woman asking for 'brunch somewhere nice' demanding sh1t. what you said above to not go back on what i said, in fact i should have just said 11.45am see you tommorrow.

reason i dont go for drinks is because it'll be ridiculously expensive.. she's not going to go to some dive bar she lives in the most expensive borough here im not dropping 50 dollars on drinks with someone i've never met before (yes drinks are 25 dollars each here) she would only go somewhere expensive as she is spoilt.

Your mindset is your biggest problem. You keep inferring characteristics on people you don't know based on where they live. How do you know she wouldn't have met you in a dive bar? Why are you predetermining outcomes based on nothing? You know how many rich girls go to ghetto clubs? Tons. Why? Cause the dudes there have "I don't give a fvck mindsets"

Your mindset is terrible, I would suggest spending time correcting it before continuing because you will keep self destructing otherwise

 

[pete101]

Your mindset is your biggest problem. You keep inferring characteristics on people you don't know based on where they live. How do you know she wouldn't have met you in a dive bar? Why are you predetermining outcomes based on nothing? You know how many rich girls go to ghetto clubs? Tons. Why? Cause the dudes there have "I don't give a fvck mindsets"

Your mindset is terrible, I would suggest spending time correcting it before continuing because you will keep self destructing otherwise

because i know these women from this area, i look at her photos, i see how she's dressed, i see how she suggested 'brunch at a nice place'.. she wouldn't go to a dive bar. 100%. you can say all you like 'how do you know?' i know for certain given the information i do have.. however IF she had super high IL and was super attracted she'd go with me to a dive bar, but she doesn't (even before i messed up) that's why she won't.

it's just playing it smart, girls like this wouldn't be caught dead in a ghetto club.. im not from the US the rules don't apply here. snotty europeans look down on establishments like that, that's why they stay in this area.

 

[marmel75]

You got all the answers brother...how that working out for you?

 

[LMFAO]

There are typically only two ways of arranging a first date:
1) Taking her out for drinks in the evening. If it's that fvcking expensive then just split the bill, many split the bill these days it's normal especially if it's going to cost you 50 dollars.
2) Escalating big time on text and inviting her to your place. Avoids time wasters. If the girl is really hot and won't go for it then I go for 1.

When pressed for time, as in if a girl lives in another city and has to leave by train in a couple of hours I would go for coffee and just kiss close, but that is an exception.

Marmel is bang on point, you should be taking her out for drinks.

You came across far too needy with your texts, don't re-arrange your life for her and if it's not possible try again a few days later. Also do the evenings/nights only. Why the fvck are you trying to arrange a date for noon, and then trying to accommodate her when she has to leave for friends within an hour?

Avoid long texts. Keep it short and don't attack a girl you haven't met even for a first date.

The alpha thing to do would be to say you're busy, but you'd be free in the evening and tell her to meet me at this bar at this time and not to be late with a wink. It's quite simple.

 

[apprenticedj]

me: HB this is my number, pete (tinder)
her: that's a cool name
her: i can meet u in the morning xuz i'll be busy from lunch
her: i have a friend from cali here
me: thanks. im busy till lunch, i could do around 11.45am or 4-5pm, how's then?
her:we can meet up at 11:45
her: which restaurant or cafe?
me: ok cool, let's make it 12 just in case then, im coming from brunch so dont want to be late. see you tomorrow.
me: we'll go to (name) chocolatier in x place. met me outside y station it's 2mins walk from there.
her: u r comign from brunch i must go to bring her for 1pm. let's meet up another time.
her: maybe next weekend for brunch

Here is where I would've stopped. In these situations I feel it's better to leave the ball in their court. She didn't seem too keen on meeting you overall so I would've replied to her last text with "Ok sounds good, I'm not sure of my schedule for next weekend but text me later this week and we'll figure something out".

More than likely you'll never hear from her again but at least you left the door open. This, combined with total ghost NC, may have got her curious. Women who are on the fence about someone will throw out sh*t tests, like shifting dates and times of meetups to see if you follow her lead, ie if you let her boss you around. If you kept a strong frame she may have come back around.

The worst part IMO was that this interaction went from a potential meet up to a lame argument that involved the mention of money and ethnicity. Bad move my friend. This one is unsalvedgable but in the future be relaxed, never let them see you sweat. I've been guilty of this before and it's blown up on me EVERY SINGLE TIME. If you're losing frame I walk away BUT I leave the door open, you never know.

 

[Trunks]

her: no, im not in hurry to find someone nor it's a business meeting. if you like you can invite me next sunday to a nice place for brunch.

I would've just said "haha let's keep it light, perhaps another time" and left it at that