do some girls really like nice guys?

[Jair213]

watt u guys think?

 

[floydb25]

Yes, but most nice guys aren't interested in them, since being a nice guy means you have issues, and seek after those who fulfill them, or have similar issues. Ex: Trying to save crazy *****es.

 

[Jair213]

Yes, but most nice guys aren't interested in them, since being a nice guy means you have issues, and seek after those who fulfill them, or have similar issues. Ex: Trying to save crazy *****es.

being a nice guy means you have issues? wtf???

 

[floydb25]

Yes. Co-dependancy, insecurity, approval-seeking, low self-esteem... These are some of the issues of nice guys, and why they act as they do - to get people to like them. They're not actually genuinely nice. They end up seeking after those who don't want them, or treat them poorly, and try to gain their acceptance / love / affection. Thus, they end up with crazy *****es, and try to save them - in hopes that they'll accept them. They want people to like them, and that's why they're so nice, over-eager, available, etc. They're really just desperate and insecure, which leads to neediness, smothering, clinginess, etc. They don't genuinely want people to like them, though.

On the flip side, predators specifically seek out nice guys to control, abuse, manipulate, tease, use, etc. So, they end up with a lot of bad people from both genders. Both parties seek each other out, and have issues.

 

[Maximummax]

You should read this book
"No more mr.nice Guy"

 

[Mike32ct]

of course girls like nice guys as long as you look like and are as famous as matthew mcconaughey

^This.

Please understand that the whole nice guy vs. jerk thing is one big SMOKESCREEN to hide what is really going on. It's about LOOKS.

If she considers you hot, it doesn't matter if you are nice or a jerk.

If she doesn't find you attractive, being nicer or more of a pr$ck isn't going to change things.

Do nice guys often have issues? Sure, but it's more about their average or below average looks that hold them back. Bad boys have plenty of insecuritues too (of a different kind), but get a free pass because of their looks.

Nice guy = slightly above average to ugly guy with insecurities

Bad boys = hot to good looking guy with insecurities.


Do whatever you can to optimize your looks.

 

[zekko]

Nice guy = slightly above average to ugly guy with insecurities

Bad boys = hot to good looking guy with insecurities.

Ha ha, well said.
Everybody is "nice" in some way.
If they weren't, they wouldn't get along in society at all.

 

[Mike32ct]

Agreed. Social circle is a wildcard of sorts that defintely can help the average guy. A lot of girls are "i n c estuous" of sorts and are sometimes more likely to secretly sleep with an average social circle guy (discreetly) via a drunken party hookup or post-club hookup then leave with a better looking but strange club guy in front of her friends.

Then she secretly can become FWB with the average guy out of convenience. Then maybe he gets upgraded to boyfriend because all the sex made her attached. This is a very common scenario.

 

[floydb25]

^This.

Please understand that the whole nice guy vs. jerk thing is one big SMOKESCREEN to hide what is really going on. It's about LOOKS.

If she considers you hot, it doesn't matter if you are nice or a jerk.

If she doesn't find you attractive, being nicer or more of a pr$ck isn't going to change things.

Do nice guys often have issues? Sure, but it's more about their average or below average looks that hold them back. Bad boys have plenty of insecuritues too (of a different kind), but get a free pass because of their looks.

Nice guy = slightly above average to ugly guy with insecurities

Bad boys = hot to good looking guy with insecurities.


Do whatever you can to optimize your looks.

Yeah, this too. But neither party lasts with women (or men). Being a nice guy or bad boy isn't ideal for anyone. There's other things you should work on, in addition to looks. The whole package, if you will. Being good looking doesn't mean much in the long run. There's gotta be more. It also depends on what you want. Not to downplay looks, as they are vitally important.

Plus, its better for YOURSELF to not be a nice guy, and get trampled on by people. A hot nice guy will still get used, played, manipulated, abused, controlled, and discarded. No question... I used to be one. I was a prime target for predatory women... Being good looking just means they have more to use you for, which actually makes it even worse. And, with your core insecurities, you're gonna let them jerk you around - as you sympathize with them, make up excuses for them, and so forth. They know all of this, and use it against you. Not good.

This applies to nice girls, as well. It's best to be good looking AND of sufficient self-esteem, confidence, etc. The whole world changes, just like that. I think a lot of people pretend to not be nice guys, but those core issues are still intact. Gotta kill 'em, or nothing is going to change. You might get more women with your looks and social standing, but once they find out who you really are - they're going to treat you like all others. And, you're still going to chase after the crazies. Bad boys are just cowards who try to hide their insecurities / act like they don't care / don't let anyone get too close. They're still miserable and afraid. Gotta eliminate all that garbage, and it starts within.

Don't just pretend - become.

 

[Mike32ct]

By the way, I'm not discounting Floyd's points either. I do agree.

Besides the looks issue, the nice guy's insecurities are also a liability when it comes to attracting women. I'm just saying that the less looks you have, the more she will judge you harshly on your other characteristics.

 

[nismo-4]

Yes. A very small pool. If they're physically and/ or financially fit, then women will love them! :cheer:

If they're both, then said "nice guy" will finish first. You'll finish last/ far behind (or won't qualify for the race) if you're neither.

Having status can help too. If a woman wants you, you can be as much nice guy as you want. Beta nice guys only win in cartoons and movies and video games. Not in real life!

 

[K2000kidd]

I often wonder if when a woman is concerned about looks she's worried about what her friends think more than her own level of attraction. once upon a time me and this girl were vibing real well or so i had thought, dinner at my mother's putput golf, made out twice and even got to fngrbng it. Then i met her friends then she seemingly dropped offf the face of the earth.

 

[ArcBound]

If she considers you hot, it doesn't matter if you are nice or a jerk.

If she doesn't find you attractive, being nicer or more of a pr$ck isn't going to change things.

This. I alluded to this in another post. Looks are one of those make or break qualities along with fame, money, charisma, game, etc.

When girls say they like certain attributes "Humor, confidence, NICENESS, swagger, etc...) it's only if you have one of the qualities above as well. It's the difference between funny and tryhard, confidence and desperation, NICE AND WEAK

Once you have one or some of those qualities if you are a jerk? He's just a strong man. If you are nice? He's just showing his sensitive side. They will backwards rationalize your qualities and attributes based on your value.

If man = high value she will spin EVERYTHING into a positive light. Small ****? He knows how to work it.

If man = low value she will spin EVERYTHING into a negative light. 9 inch penis? Smallest penis in the world.

That's why people on this site tell you: develop your career, focus on grades, build your body, learn charisma because they are all ways to increase your value...

 

[Jair213]

well im not bad looking at all! lol i just have social anxiety and aproach anxiety but ive being working on that and its almost non existent now.

oh and im mexican so i know a couple of girls that are raced by good old traditional familys, really nice, charming sweet girls, some can be hoes though, but im talking about nice girls that are wifey material etc, not that am putting them on a pedestal but u know wat i mean, and this girls seem to like ''nice guys'' idk if that makes any sense..

 

[Zerro]

I often wonder if when a woman is concerned about looks she's worried about what her friends think more than her own level of attraction. once upon a time me and this girl were vibing real well or so i had thought, dinner at my mother's putput golf, made out twice and even got to fngrbng it. Then i met her friends then she seemingly dropped offf the face of the earth.

This goes for guys as well, dudes don't want to be known among their friends as the one with the ugly girlfriend. Just pay attention around here for a while and see how many times posters will admit that the range of women they'll sleep with is larger than the range of women they'd want to be seen with in public. They only want their friends to know about the 8s and 9s they've laid, not the 7s and below.

However a guy is more likely to give less of a damn if he likes the chick enough, while when it comes to women if her friends don't like you then you're pretty much done for.

 

[Single4Life]

If by nice guy, you mean a dude who lets himself get walked on and just does anything she says, and follows her around like a puppy dog, then no.

If by nice guy, you mean a confident man with his own opinions, strong, his own life and independence and doesn't compromise his values/himself, but still a gentlemen and a sweetheart and nice to everyone, then yes.

 

[juicywa]

well fvck me.. now I'm wondering if I'm a nice guy.

First of all, my philosophy in life is that I could die anytime. This makes me "nice" to people. I don't care about giving away free sh*t, not big sh*t but small sh*t.. but then if I was rich as fvck, I'd probably give away bigger sh*t.


What stuff do I give away? for example, if I know you are struggling with money and we go to lunch I'll pay for you. But if I know you aren't then of course I wont pay for your meal.

Another example, If I go buy myself some snack and I know I'll be seeing a group of people I know, I'll buy something extra to give away to someone who might be hungry.

I do all of these without expecting anything in return.


Not to turn this into a politics thread but if I would love to live in a communist world. A true/perfect communist/socialist world where people share everything and no one complains; no corrupt people and sh*t.


I don't only give away free stuff; but I am also cordial to everyone. I talk to everyone with respect. Even ugly fat women. Old, young, etc. I dont care. Basically not an a$$hole and slightly nicer.

 

[Mr Wright]

Nice guys have one main problem. As soon as they make a move on girls, they instantly lose that nice guy label and lose.

 

[backseatjuan]

Girls like successful and famous guys as much as they like an exiting ***** moisturizing alpha male. I don't see a girl giving it to a looser, most want a girl-man-friend like that, like in that movie kickass, she thought he was gay and felt sorry for him.

 

[a gruesome time]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a "Nice" guy - even an average looking niceguy. Take it from me, I consider myself average looking, a bit overweight and I'm a genuinely(I like to think) nice person.

I figured out the secret early in life was to just not quite give a **** what people think of you. I've never had a problem picking up attractive women, and have always gotten the girl I wanted - much to the disdain of my better looking friends, in college I used to mystify my room mates with the girls I would bring home. They would want to know my secret and I've thought about it in depth for a number of years and the conclusion I've come to, the secret to women is to just be yourself.

BE INTERESTING, it's not something you can fake - involve yourself in everything you are passionate about even if it may seem weird to other people. Embracing ones own weirdness I truly feel is the greatest form of confidence. Be the person you want to be, because you want to be that person... Not because you are trying to pull some hot ass. Read books, listen to great music, research things that interest you.

Me as an example... Careerwise - I've got a bachelors in Computer Sciences - it's what I thought I wanted to do... turns out I hated it, rather than just giving in to a career I hated I said "**** this" put in 2 weeks notice, and went on to the next dream - Being an auto mechanic... 6 months later I'm Honda Certified working in a dealership making great money - 2 years later I realize I loved working on my car, but hated working on others cars. NEXT: Taught myself graphic design and web design and built a marketing and promotions company for the local Live music scene... mainly big Jazz and Soul acts. I loved the music, it just started killing my social life and being uncompromising in life I reassessed what else I enjoyed - COOKING, I had worked a number of cooking jobs over the years, I could go pro... Sent my resume and an explanation of my passion for great food in to every restaurant I wanted to work for - landed a great job working with a great chef. He helped me hone my skills - 3 years later I've made it into the career I love, Sous Chef for one of Atlanta's most well reviewed restaurants.

Musicwise I'm passionate about everything from Doom Metal to Avant Garde Jazz. I played trumpet in highschool - picked it back up a few years ago and landed this suburban white kid with hipster tendencies playing trumpet for a 12 piece Funk band called "The Dirty South Classics"

Maybe I'm just different but I don't think thats the case.

You be happy with being you and then everything else just falls in to place. I've never dated an ugly girl, nothing sub level 8 even. Be comfortable talking to women as people, not just a piece of ass - even if it's just a front - she can still tell if your freaked out even a little on the inside. Get to the point where you're not uncomfortable in any situations - comfortable silence is great, awkward silence is hilarious. LAUGH. Be ****y - life is far too short not to be your own biggest fan and once you realize that the sky is the limit. Morality very rarely has anything to do with ones personality.