zekko said:
Rollo, what do you think of Espi's definition of Nice Guy as one who treats others with respect? Do you walk around disrespecting people in your day to day life? I doubt that you do.
Let's look at this from the perspective of the typical Nice Guy. By that I mean the type of guy who's been told by more than a few women, "you're such a nice guy, any girl would be happy to be with you (except me)." As such, the self-described nice guy will generally be prone to determine what is or isn't 'jerk' behavior based on what he perceives are inconsistent with his own nice guy (see feminized) mindset.
Thus, the behaviors that exemplify a strong personality, determination, confidence, decisiveness, self-interest, and respectability - traits we'd otherwise read as positive in a block of text - are conveniently cast as negatives because they conflict with his own self-image of how a guy should compose himself in order to identify with women. 'Treating others with respect' is a pretty broad field to land on. If by respect you mean greeting everyone you meet with a smile and a handshake, I would think that even the most self-aware jerk might manage to fake that behavior.
There are relatively few, true, sociopathic Jerks in the world who have the means to endure as overt jerks in society. However, as is constantly recognized by the community, 80%+ of men are generally beta males looking for some means to improve their very limited options with women.
Beta Game is such that it necessitates a nice guy to disqualify his sexual competitors and the easiest way to effect that is to cast their actions, no matter how noble the intent, as being reprehensible.
Now add to this that nice guys, in their constant misguided efforts to identify with women as a means to their vaginas, will eagerly adopt the social interpretations of "jerk" qualities women complain of as their own definitions of "jerk". To be more acceptable to the girl he wants to ƒuck, the nice guy's got to differentiate himself as best as possible from the behaviors she purportedly hates. More often than not, those exact same behaviors that men would otherwise agree denote confidence, decisiveness, ambition, self-interest, 'respectability', etc. are the ones that women find most annoying because they remove the emphasis on her and put the focus on the 'jerk' she's regularly ƒucking.
Let that sink in for a moment; the nice guy assimilates into his own definition of what constitutes 'jerk' behavior based on what a woman he's interested in complains to him are HER definitions of 'jerk' behavior. What's important is to separate what women define as the acts of jerkness with the corresponding qualities they imply. For instance, a guy who blows off a childishly emotionally female outburst gets defined as being "an inconsiderate jerk indifferent to her feelings" by her, yet in another context his actions are a stoic, confident, and decisive response to her exaggerated emotional response. The definition the nice guy adopts and then passess onto other's is tainted with her bias.
