Do looks mean everything? :(

[cali4nialove]

Looks are probably my biggest source of insecurity. I am best friends with a 10/10 guy that all women drool over (no homo)

I on the other hand am an average to below avergage looking guy. I look decently good from the front, but from the side I have a huge long nose.

Today I was at the library at the snack bar, and these two super cute chicks are waiting for the cashier to come back with me, and I start by letting them know he wasnt coming for 5 mins. Then we do a little small talk, I make them laugh a little and I leave. I see them once more walking to get the stapler and they wave at me as they walk back to the snack bar.

BUT... it all changes when my friend comes to study with me

They start acting all funny and walk up to our floor and act as if they are getting books. Then we had the idea to throw a paper plane on them with my number just as a joke and they throw us a paper ball before we even get the chance. We still threw the plane and they threw another small plane letting me know they stole my pens and pencils. So we go over there. Start talking, I make them laugh by joking about my pencils and pens.

And I texted the number they gave us on the paper...HERE IS WHERE IT DEPRESSES ME:

ME: message about number
HER: My phone died whoops (1 hour after we leave)
ME: Haha same here, so which one of the cuties is this?
HER: Youll find out (; haha wait theres 2 of you whats the other guys number?
ME: Hold up, lemme ask him if I can give it to you, or give him yours.
HER: Haha ya you can just give him mine.
ME: ight he's cool with it. (555)555-5555
HER: haha cool thanks (;
ME: start talking about other stuff, got a few more responses but they stopped

How do other people cope with this. It just kills my drive and happiness.

 

[Eph]

Quit with the negative thinking, it does nothing but hinder you, as you can see. Texting isn't the best indicator of interest. There could have been low interest from the start, they could of actually had something to do, etc. You don't know, and you won't know.

If you say your friend is better looking than you (which is still only YOUR opinion), then its likely you are their second option. If they can't have your friend, then you might be on their second choice list. If they don't know who their texting either, then could be trying to get your number and think they're texting you friend. Pray for the best, prepare for the worst.

 

[Gro0ver]

Don't beat yourself up about it, it becomes less of an issue as you get older. In high school it's all about looks and popularity but it won't always be this way.

Maximize what you have and then forget about it. Life is not about the cards you've been dealt but how you use them. Some poker players can win with an awful hand whereas some will always find ways to screw up even with a great hand.

 

[LearningSlowly]

A lot of girls deliberately go for personality over looks. You just actually need to have a good personality, and that can't happen overnight.

Your attractive friend will be a good wingman if you can talk to groups of 3 or more girls, so you don't always get stuck with the second girl.

 

[DanZy]

Dude you may just have been damn boring and uninteresting and they were being nice because they're polite.

 

[apocolipto]

I think you are overthinking this. My friends are all cool, and a handful are much more alpha than me. Physically they would kill me! But, not all of them are picture perfect! Looks ain't that big, just become an alpha with a great personality.

 

[nroug7]

Stand out from the crowd, don't be afraid to talk to random girls etc.

 

[typical]

I hardly ever visit this sub forum but here goes.

YES, Looks mean EVERYTHING in High-school, and you want to know something else, after high-school it doesn't change much either.

Think of it this way, you as a guy want a hot girlfriend, one that makes other guys drool and get jealous of you because she's with you and not with them right. Guess what Girls are exactly the same. It's all about holding up the new significant other in front of other people and being all "Hey guys look what I have isn't he/she hot".

The people that say it changes as you get older are fooling themselves, it's been biologically ingrained into you to seek out the most attractive mate possible so you can pass you genes onto the next generation, and if your mate has a very high attraction factor that means your offspring will have a better chance at life. Biology 101 for you.

In humans as we age women do find guys that are successful more attractive BUT they will always get wet for a guy with a ripped body and cute face. The only reason why many women get with a guy that isn't good looking but is successful is because that man provides her the security for a easy stable lifestyle with all the perks money can buy.

Everything else people say is absolute rubbish any person that isn't good looking but still has game to pull tail will tell you that looks don't matter. But put him in a room with a guy that looks better then him and put 2 hot girls into the same room, both girls will gravitate towards the good looking guy. No amount of game changes this fact, yes you can out do the good looking guy with game but why waste your breath ? Why not play on a equal playing field. Pick up a sport get good at it I mean really good at it, get a good body and see the changes for yourself.

Good luck.

 

[sambwoy]

Why the hell they get their warped views of reality from TV I dunno, especially at that age. In my circles virtually NONE of us are models.

Also isn't a majority of elements of looks make-up etc?. That's not genetics.

 

[apocolipto]

I hardly ever visit this sub forum but here goes.

YES, Looks mean EVERYTHING in High-school, and you want to know something else, after high-school it doesn't change much either.

Think of it this way, you as a guy want a hot girlfriend, one that makes other guys drool and get jealous of you because she's with you and not with them right. Guess what Girls are exactly the same. It's all about holding up the new significant other in front of other people and being all "Hey guys look what I have isn't he/she hot".

The people that say it changes as you get older are fooling themselves, it's been biologically ingrained into you to seek out the most attractive mate possible so you can pass you genes onto the next generation, and if your mate has a very high attraction factor that means your offspring will have a better chance at life. Biology 101 for you.

In humans as we age women do find guys that are successful more attractive BUT they will always get wet for a guy with a ripped body and cute face. The only reason why many women get with a guy that isn't good looking but is successful is because that man provides her the security for a easy stable lifestyle with all the perks money can buy.

Everything else people say is absolute rubbish any person that isn't good looking but still has game to pull tail will tell you that looks don't matter. But put him in a room with a guy that looks better then him and put 2 hot girls into the same room, both girls will gravitate towards the good looking guy. No amount of game changes this fact, yes you can out do the good looking guy with game but why waste your breath ? Why not play on a equal playing field. Pick up a sport get good at it I mean really good at it, get a good body and see the changes for yourself.

Good luck.

I think your wrong. Yes if you get fit you get more attractive. BUT, biologically attraction differs for male and females. We want beauty because it means she has high reproduction value. They want someone to protect their offspring and them, so they want an alpha. Sure you'll out game a guy with good looks and no game.

BUT, if both guys have equal game, the good looking guy will be more attractive.

 

[Blistex]

YES, Looks mean EVERYTHING in High-school, and you want to know something else, after high-school it doesn't change much either.

If that's true then why do movie stars have divorces so frequently? After all, according to you looks mean everything and most actors and actresses are good looking.

The reality is that no, looks do not mean everything. They probably account for 10% of attraction while the other 90% comes from personality. If a woman had to choose between a good looking guy with an awful personality compared to an ugly guy with a great and fun personality, who do you think she would choose? At first glimpse, she may be interested in checking out the good looking guy but once she realizes how terribly boring he is, she'll have a go at the ugly guy and when she sees how fun and interesting he is, she will choose him.

If you want to attract a woman, be fun and interesting (have a great personality). Hence why when people go to parties, it is often suggested that they be having fun because fun attracts others...especially women! :rockon:

 

[typical]

WOW, this generation is more brainwashed than I thought.

Divorce ? Mate I'm not an advocate of getting married in fact I'm against it because it offers no value to the modern man.

Personality ? Is that why most good looking guys that play sports in high school ALWAYS have the girls drooling over them even though they sleep around and treat the girls like trash.

Alpha male ? So coming from a sporting background with a decent body isn't "Alpha" enough for you ? Carrying yourself as if you know your the sh!t isn't "Alpha" enough for you ?

Biologically attraction DOES NOT DIFFER between the sexes, physical attributes are key indicators of good genes. Having a big strong masculine body is a key subconscious indicator that this male is in prime condition as a hunter and protector. Just as big boobs small waist and wide hips for a woman are key indicators.

I think I'll take my leave of this forum for now as I'm talking to scrawny ugly kids that get bullied by the sports players in their schools, and are too wussy to take action and even the playing field.

 

[Blistex]

WOW, this generation is more brainwashed than I thought.

Definitely so. Socialization is a form of brainwashing in my view anyway. But if you are going to throw out these bold claims that we are being brainwashed about certain things, you should explain how and by who.

Divorce ? Mate I'm not an advocate of getting married in fact I'm against it because it offers no value to the modern man.

You can replace my use of "divorce" with "breakup" or "separation." Same example. Same logic. Same effect.

Personality ? Is that why most good looking guys that play sports in high school ALWAYS have the girls drooling over them even though they sleep around and treat the girls like trash.

Alpha male ? So coming from a sporting background with a decent body isn't "Alpha" enough for you ? Carrying yourself as if you know your the sh!t isn't "Alpha" enough for you ?

If you read my prior post, I did make mention that girls will at first glimpse go after the more good looking guy but if he has a boring personality, she won't (in majority of the cases) stay with him for a relationship. The best he can get out of good looks with a boring personality is one night stands. Some men are OK with that, others want a more meaningful relationship with a woman.

Everyone's interpretation of what it means to be an alpha male will differ. Your claim that having good looks means everything sounds absurd right from the start. Go back in history (Renaissance for example), most women were portrayed in art as "fat" and not skinny and underweight like they are today. That was how the "ideal woman" was visualized and that was considered attractive. If you don't believe me, go search on the Internet, you'll find plenty of evidence supporting my claim. That also shoots down your other argument about biology or whatever you were arguing about.

Ironically, it seems like your "brainwash" claim applies to you since you have been brainwashed by the media(?) into believing that skinny women have always been attractive.

I think I'll take my leave of this forum for now as I'm talking to scrawny ugly kids that get bullied by the sports players in their schools, and are too wussy to take action and even the playing field.

I think you should stick around actually. You're demonstrating AFC behaviour with your weak insults and inability to cope with people disagreeing with you. Read up on the DJ Bible mate. :trouble:

 

[Tyler FC]

I think that popularity and social status mean almost everything( u gotta have some game,too) .

At least in highschool.

 

[DanZy]

Blistex your comment on the hollywood thing is a load of sh1t. What happens in their relationships means nothing.

It's really quite simple. Looks do matter but they're not everything. If you're good looking but boring as ****, your results won't be great. If you're ugly but really cool, your results won't be any better. You definitely need both, though being good looking is more useful by itself. Make an effort - dress well, hit the gym etc.

 

[typical]

It is High School, the girls you date aren't going to be with you for a very long time. In fact being with any women for a very long time before the age of 25 is a very bad idea, this is the time that any young man should be improving himself in any way possible so that he can live an enriched life without getting tied down so some bird with a hopeless future.

Your comment about the renaissance period is correct BUT that view was the view of greater society not what you have been biologically programmed to do. It does not matter whether society wants you to like plump women or skinny women, biologically you will always respond to a woman with a decent hip to waist ratio regardless of her weight.

Also the DJ bible is not the absolute word on everything it is just a huge guideline to follow nothing more. Trust me when I say that having a decent body while in high school and university/college will get you more tail because I've been there and the amount of girls that literally throw themselves at you because you are a up and coming sports player is absurd. Yes it is a mixture of high social status and looks but you wouldn't have the status if you weren't a good sportsman and you wouldn't be a decent sportsman without having a decent body. It all correlates.

By all means develop your personality, wit and street smarts because later in life when you enter the workforce these skills will become crucial in your success or failure. But for now hit the gym and sports hard and the girls will come. Learning game now is a added bonus but not a necessity during high school while trying to pull tail.

 

[zekko]

When I was around 19 or 20 I used to have this good friend of mine. He never dated much, and he was pretty much afraid to talk to girls. I was not afraid to approach, so if we saw some girls I would go up to talk to them. Now here's the crappy part:

Almost every time I did this, the girls wanted my friend. Even though he just stood back and didn't really say anything. He was on the football team so he had a better build than I did, but I guess I underestimated him lookswise. After awhile I got sick of this so I quit approaching girls while he was around.

Sometimes a girl I had tried to get with would come back to me after she found out she wasn't getting anywhere with my buddy - he didn't really know how to talk to girls. I always promptly told her to fvck off since she had already had her chance. Looking back at it now, I realize I could have gotten with several of those girls if I hadn't gotten so butthurt over it. But you're right, it's no fun when it seems like you're the second choice.

Chin up, you're a young guy, keep working on yourself and I bet someday things turn around for you.

 

[Blistex]

Blistex your comment on the hollywood thing is a load of sh1t. What happens in their relationships means nothing.

Because...? We're free to disagree and in fact I encourage different perspectives but if looks mean everything (and I'm using that term literally), then actors and actresses would not be getting divorced so frequently because attraction would be high since looks mean everything, right? Why get separated from someone when you're very attracted to them? On the other hand, if it is personality that plays the important role then that does help to explain why breakups occur. When the attraction is low (ie. the male is no longer fun), the woman will explore other options where she can find someone who is fun and interesting.

That conclusion is based on experience, rationality and observations. Feel free to disagree but if so, tell us why so we can all learn.

 

[DanZy]

It's just a totally stupid example. Looks won't do **** for a relationship and everyone knows that. Celebrities (well the one's always in tabloids) are fvcking idiots, what happens to them means nothing. Most of the time they don't even seem to be functioning adults.

Obviously looks aren't everything, but they're not worth 10% of attraction. That value is way higher, a fvck ton higher. You're over-complicating this so much.
Here it is: Looks matter, deal with it. Personality matters, deal with it.

EDIT: Your views on relationships are far too simple though. It's not just attraction ends because the one partner became boring, there's so many other compounding factors. People break up and get divorced everyday yet you're using ego-driven, wealthy for good reason celebrities as an example. Congrats you read the DJ bible (I haven't, got better things to do), you don't know everything. Finally, don't be such a condescending knob.

 

[Blistex]

Finally, don't be such a condescending knob.

lol. You must be very mature. With that in mind, I cannot be bothered to debate someone ignorant. Not worth my time.