Do I text this girl this week or wait?

[Exhumed]

Text her this week obviously you pvssy! Right? I hate reading these pathetic stories involving one girl followed by an idiotic question, and I don't want to type this, but I figure I should, because I'm honestly unsure what to do now.

I had like a fifteen minute conversation with her and her friend on Friday at a party at my fraternity, we talked about completely non-sexually-charged topics but we stood really close, spoke with a sexual tone, the eye contact was strong, there was some 'kino'...it was just her and another friend, so I couldn't just start making out with her in front of the friend. And then her friends made her leave with them. So before she left, she handed me her phone, had me put my number in, and then said she'd text me with her name (thank god because I didn't remember it...a serious issue I should work on). She said it was "so you can text me when you're having parties" but I figure that was just to be discreet.

So five minutes later:
Her: (her name)
Me: got it
Her: Yes!!

So the next night I text her:

Me: hey, you should come to (fraternity) and hang out
(ten minutes later)
Her: Were watching mean girls with people on my floor lol but maybe next weekend?
Me: aight

In retrospect I maybe should have busted on her for staying in on a Saturday night, maybe set something up for this week, but I was high and drunk so I decided to keep it simple in the interest of not typing too much and saying something retarded.

So anyway...we talked for 15 minutes, we haven't even kissed...but she made damn sure to give me her full name and number, and responded "Yes!!" when told her I got it. Like, who does that?

So the words I'm focusing on in her response are "We're" (we didn't even kiss, so she's probably not going to respond positively if I ask her and her alone to come over to my apartment for drinks or something) and "next weekend" (implying her interest level possibly isn't high enough to set something low-key up during the week).

Do I play it cool and just invite her out next weekend? Sounds like she wouldn't want to meet up with me alone, and I don't want to sound too eager, in case she really meant "We only talked for fifteen minutes and didn't even kiss, invite me out to your next party and we'll go from there" rather than "Call me up this week and we'll fvck"
OR do I try to set something small up for this week? After all, I'm still fresh in her mind, and she seemed pretty interested initially.

Please don't respond by bolding "we haven't even kissed" and claiming I have oneitis, or assuming I haven't read any pickup theory. This girl is only average looking, and I've read plenty of pickup stuff. I know I typed like five paragraphs by now, fvck me.

 

[Scars]

Text her this week obviously you pvssy! Right? I hate reading these pathetic stories involving one girl followed by an idiotic question, and I don't want to type this, but I figure I should, because I'm honestly unsure what to do now.

I had like a fifteen minute conversation with her and her friend on Friday at a party at my fraternity, we talked about completely non-sexually-charged topics but we stood really close, spoke with a sexual tone, the eye contact was strong, there was some 'kino'...it was just her and another friend, so I couldn't just start making out with her in front of the friend. And then her friends made her leave with them. So before she left, she handed me her phone, had me put my number in, and then said she'd text me with her name (thank god because I didn't remember it...a serious issue I should work on). She said it was "so you can text me when you're having parties" but I figure that was just to be discreet.

So five minutes later:
Her: (her name)
Me: got it
Her: Yes!!

So the next night I text her:

Me: hey, you should come to (fraternity) and hang out
(ten minutes later)
Her: Were watching mean girls with people on my floor lol but maybe next weekend?
Me: aight

In retrospect I maybe should have busted on her for staying in on a Saturday night, maybe set something up for this week, but I was high and drunk so I decided to keep it simple in the interest of not typing too much and saying something retarded.

So anyway...we talked for 15 minutes, we haven't even kissed...but she made damn sure to give me her full name and number, and responded "Yes!!" when told her I got it. Like, who does that?

So the words I'm focusing on in her response are "We're" (we didn't even kiss, so she's probably not going to respond positively if I ask her and her alone to come over to my apartment for drinks or something) and "next weekend" (implying her interest level possibly isn't high enough to set something low-key up during the week).

Do I play it cool and just invite her out next weekend? Sounds like she wouldn't want to meet up with me alone, and I don't want to sound too eager, in case she really meant "We only talked for fifteen minutes and didn't even kiss, invite me out to your next party and we'll go from there" rather than "Call me up this week and we'll fvck"
OR do I try to set something small up for this week? After all, I'm still fresh in her mind, and she seemed pretty interested initially.

Please don't respond by bolding "we haven't even kissed" and claiming I have oneitis, or assuming I haven't read any pickup theory. This girl is only average looking, and I've read plenty of pickup stuff. I know I typed like five paragraphs by now, fvck me.

This is how I personally would handle it, I'm not saying it's right, and some people might see it as wrong, but this is simply what I would do..

I wouldn't contact her. Not until she contacts you first. She is eventually going to be bored one weekend and go through her phone and see your name. She is going to then hit you up. It seems like this girl is only interested in using you as a "party finder" so you must accept it for what it is.. for now at least. You need to get her at another party. But don't invite her. Let her ask herself, pretty much INVITE herself. Next, when she is at this party, you MUST make a move. She will then gain respect for you. Her IL will rise. After that, do the same thing. Wait for her to contact you. More than likely it won't be on a friday/saturday anymore. It might be a wednesday and she might actually be taking the initiative to get to know you. So run a little game on her. Be flirty, confident, and sexual.

For now, treat it as a "next". I'm not saying you should next her at all, but get the "mindset" of it. This will get her curious and coming back to you.

Good luck.

-Scars

 

[ArcBound]

So the timeline goes
Friday: You meet her at a party get number
Saturday: Text her to come out to another party

I know girls who go to parties every week but back to back rarely. Inviting a girl to a party after you met her to a party the day before, is like going on a date and then inviting her the next day to come out for a date. It will happen but rarely. Let some tension build and wait more than a day.

A simple way to get out of this trap is to first text her "Hey wat r u doin?" or anything of the like.

Then she says nothing much: you tell her to come
Then she says watching movie: fluff talk and end the convo

I'd say wait a week or til whenever you're having another party and then shoot her a how are you doing text.

 

[Following_of_Me]

Not a good call texting her next day. When you got her number, you came off as the partying fun guy...when you texted her the next night, you revealed you dont really have all that much going on considering you asked her to come hang out immediately... I like to come off like there's a waiting list for my attention, but I'm still interested, just need to make time. I prefer not to come off like everytime I meet a girl she becomes top priority.

 

[Elky]

Considering the fact that you're 19, girls at that age still play games. So yes, it was a bad move to text the next day, but don't give up!

Make sure you call her and get that date! Don't wait to long, because your rapport with her is probably quite low! I'd give it 3 days, and then make the call.

Meanwhile, you should also be talking to multiple girls, its not a good idea to get oneitis from this broad!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

This is how I personally would handle it, I'm not saying it's right, and some people might see it as wrong, but this is simply what I would do..

I wouldn't contact her. Not until she contacts you first. She is eventually going to be bored one weekend and go through her phone and see your name. She is going to then hit you up. It seems like this girl is only interested in using you as a "party finder" so you must accept it for what it is.. for now at least. You need to get her at another party. But don't invite her. Let her ask herself, pretty much INVITE herself. Next, when she is at this party, you MUST make a move. She will then gain respect for you. Her IL will rise. After that, do the same thing. Wait for her to contact you. More than likely it won't be on a friday/saturday anymore. It might be a wednesday and she might actually be taking the initiative to get to know you. So run a little game on her. Be flirty, confident, and sexual.

For now, treat it as a "next". I'm not saying you should next her at all, but get the "mindset" of it. This will get her curious and coming back to you.

Good luck.

-Scars

This is about 75% spot on! Nice post.

Only part that's wrong is waiting for her to contact you once you get to see her again and kiss close or more. After she's let you cross that barrier, you can hit her up and set up something easily if her interest in high.

Which leads me to the point of my post......


You didn't create enough attraction in your initial meeting with her. And Scars is 100% right, at this point your only value you her is the fact that your in a frat and you throw parties, she's using your association and potential for more free alcohol and meeting attractive guys as a cruch that your mistaking for interest.

Stop being afraid of escalating when another girl is there, just ignore the other girl and she will either a) get the hint b) or get bored and leave. If you always wait for the most opportune time to create and escalate attraction you'll be left with nothing more times than not.

So here's your play from here, as Scars said, don't hit her up next week. Focus on meeting more girls, and if you don't hear from her in a couple weeks, then hit her up next time your having a party.

Lastly, you need to realize that girls making plans days in advance, so if your gonna text a girl about a party, at least give her a day notice, once she's on your nuts hardcore you can text her the day of and she'll probably still show up, but don't expect to text a girl you barely know on Sat night and have her come over..... not gonna happen unless she has high interest.





PIMP

 

[Szyzzlin]

Dude... don't invite her to a party!!!

Based on your post it sounds like she wants to go out with you... not hang around a bunch of drunk frat idiots at 3 in the morning.

Give it a week. Send her a text like... "hey u wanna go out for a drink on Sunday? " Don't ask her out on Fri/Sat... these are not appropriate for 1st dates. Then take her out to a quite pub and grab a drink for MAXIMUM 1 hour. Give her tonnes of Kino & Eye contact. Be sure to end the date first... say that you gotta get outta here because you have an exam the next day or something. Then when you drop her off.. just lean over and kiss her on the lips.

Then don't contact her for another 3 or 4 days. Set something up a week or so later... I like to go with the "wanna go rent a movie". If she agrees... she is basically saying that she wants to make out with you for a couple of hours... and maybe gear down and get naked. Then you're pretty much set.

Remember not to overwhelm the girl with attention. Only see her once a week max. This way she will fall in love with you and want you more.

 

[Exhumed]

One of my friends thought that maybe when I texted her the next day she responded the way she did because she thought I was just inviting her and her friends out to a party like she asked me to, rather than explicitly showing interest in her. And then since I just answered with "aight" it doesn't sound like I'm super interested, so she may not be inclined to chase me.

Scars: That's one way to look at it, that is option #1 as far as a plan of action goes. However she's not using me as a party finder, that was just to be discreet.
ArcBound: Good point
Following: I used to worry about that kind of stuff but I do so less now, though maybe I should have waited one more day.

Elky: That's the other thing I was thinking, if she was looking to hang out this week, her interest level will be decreased by next weekend, and she'll be out doing other sh!t with her ****blocking friends, and she'll think I'm just inviting her to a party rather than contacting her to hook up. But fvck you for the oneitis comment, this girl is nowhere near attractive or cool enough to get oneitis for and I established that already.
Syzzlin: Those are some pretty bad example texts! But yeah, you're absolutely right. I'm from the USA though, mate. No bars for me for another 2 years as I'm 19. And once a week max translates to twice a week in college time.

Oh, so I left out a very very key point, in my post and also in my own thinking: She's apparently been to my fraternity many times this summer, a couple of the brothers have her number (I don't think any have hooked up with her though), and her friend hooked up with my pledge brother often over the summer. I didn't know this because I wasn't here over the summer. So she didn't want me to invite her out to a party. Duhhh, oops! Haha.

That changes things, clearly she doesn't want me to just invite her out to parties, so I'm going to go with option #2, hit her up later this week for a small informal one on one thing. And yeah, since I texted her last, I either have to wait until she texts me or not contact her until Wednesday or Thursday at least (That's okay, I've got a ton of work, various appointments, and fvcking halo is coming out tonight). But I won't feel too bad about it if I make the next move; I invited her out at 11pm saturday night when she had just been out the night before, made it sound like I was hardly interested and was just inviting her out to a party. For all I know, she prrrrobably thinks I'm not so interested and took her number to be nice (she's average looking and probably knows it), and she won't pursue me.

So yeah, maybe I'll just tell her to come play frisbee with me in the quad? And then from there I can invite her inside to show her my record collection or guitars or some sh!t, conveniently located in my room, several feet away from my queen sized double-pillow-top mattress bed.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

One of my friends thought that maybe when I texted her the next day she responded the way she did because she thought I was just inviting her and her friends out to a party like she asked me to, rather than explicitly showing interest in her. And then since I just answered with "aight" it doesn't sound like I'm super interested, so she may not be inclined to chase me.

Scars: That's one way to look at it, that is option #1 as far as a plan of action goes. However she's not using me as a party finder, that was just to be discreet.
ArcBound: Good point
Following: I used to worry about that kind of stuff but I do so less now, though maybe I should have waited one more day.

Elky: That's the other thing I was thinking, if she was looking to hang out this week, her interest level will be decreased by next weekend, and she'll be out doing other sh!t with her ****blocking friends, and she'll think I'm just inviting her to a party rather than contacting her to hook up. But fvck you for the oneitis comment, this girl is nowhere near attractive or cool enough to get oneitis for and I established that already.
Syzzlin: Those are some pretty bad example texts! But yeah, you're absolutely right. I'm from the USA though, mate. No bars for me for another 2 years as I'm 19. And once a week max translates to twice a week in college time.

Oh, so I left out a very very key point, in my post and also in my own thinking: She's apparently been to my fraternity many times this summer, a couple of the brothers have her number (I don't think any have hooked up with her though), and her friend hooked up with my pledge brother often over the summer. I didn't know this because I wasn't here over the summer. So she didn't want me to invite her out to a party. Duhhh, oops! Haha.

That changes things, clearly she doesn't want me to just invite her out to parties, so I'm going to go with option #2, hit her up later this week for a small informal one on one thing. And yeah, since I texted her last, I either have to wait until she texts me or not contact her until Wednesday or Thursday at least (That's okay, I've got a ton of work, various appointments, and fvcking halo is coming out tonight). But I won't feel too bad about it if I make the next move; I invited her out at 11pm saturday night when she had just been out the night before, made it sound like I was hardly interested and was just inviting her out to a party. For all I know, she prrrrobably thinks I'm not so interested and took her number to be nice (she's average looking and probably knows it), and she won't pursue me.

So yeah, maybe I'll just tell her to come play frisbee with me in the quad? And then from there I can invite her inside to show her my record collection or guitars or some sh!t, conveniently located in my room, several feet away from my queen sized double-pillow-top mattress bed.

I mean no offense to you, but you are really over-analyzing to the MAX! What her friend did with your pledge bro, what she did this past summer partying at your house means NOTHING in this current scenario with you and her.

The bottom line is you didn't create HIGH INTEREST on the initial meet, but you do have things to offer her: a) party invites b) free alcohol c) possibility of taking her to formals, cool events.

Now I'm not saying she's completely using you, but you have some work to do if you want her to be on your nuts.

Wait a week and set something up with her one on one as planned, if she can't make it and doesn't offer another night, ditch her for now, you WILL see her again at one of your parties.

Lastly, WTF are you doing latching on to this one chick when your in a frat? Being in a frat is the EASIEST access you will have to hot, young @ss on a consistent basis in your WHOLE LIFE, don't get caught up on one chick! Have fun, meet tons of girls, hook up and date casually here and there, you will regret getting tied down to a girl when you constantly see new hot girls coming in each semester.





PIMP

 

[Alien]

then said she'd text me with her name (thank god because I didn't remember it...)

:crackup:

im the same, but im working on it.

 

[Exhumed]

I'm not getting tied down dude, it's a random girl I met at a party, I analyze the situation just the same regardless, I'm an analyzer. There's no way in hell I'd get into a serious relationship with this girl. Yeah, I type a lot, and I'm a virgin, but I'm not some kind of pvssy.

And it does mean something that she goes there often/her friend hooked up with a brother, it means she didn't give me her number unprompted because she wants me to tell her about parties, she gave me her number because she's interested. She didn't text me "Yes!!" (refer to original post) because she's super excited to never miss a party at my frat, she wants to hook up.

My only mistake was in missing a not-so-subtle clue and taking her "so you can umm let me know about parties" thing literally, and in looking for subtle clues that she's not interested when she texted me. So yeah I guess I overanalyzed.

I think I'll text her thursday and see if she wants to meet up, if she's busy and doesn't make another offer then case closed.

 

[DonJuan11]

I had like a fifteen minute conversation with her and her friend on Friday at a party at my fraternity, we talked about completely non-sexually-charged topics but we stood really close, spoke with a sexual tone, the eye contact was strong, there was some 'kino'...it was just her and another friend, so I couldn't just start making out with her in front of the friend. And then her friends made her leave with them. So before she left, she handed me her phone, had me put my number in, and then said she'd text me with her name (thank god because I didn't remember it...a serious issue I should work on). She said it was "so you can text me when you're having parties" but I figure that was just to be discreet.

So five minutes later:
Her: (her name)
Me: got it
Her: Yes!!

So the next night I text her:

Me: hey, you should come to (fraternity) and hang out
(ten minutes later)
Her: Were watching mean girls with people on my floor lol but maybe next weekend?
Me: aight

Not "aight". If she's says "maybe next weekend", you should have put the onus on her to come up with a date and time. You left it open and not it too ambiguous now. If you text her tomorrow, she will forget, she will be busy, she won't remember. Alot of guys forget this, but you always have to CLOSE THE DEAL.

Also, why are you inviting a girl you want to make out with to a fraternity where there could be 6'1 hockey players competing with you? Not a good idea. If you want to get physical with her, you have to set it up so you are ALONE with her and there NO DISTRACTIONS.

In retrospect I maybe should have busted on her for staying in on a Saturday night, maybe set something up for this week, but I was high and drunk so I decided to keep it simple in the interest of not typing too much and saying something retarded.

Do I play it cool and just invite her out next weekend? Sounds like she wouldn't want to meet up with me alone, and I don't want to sound too eager, in case she really meant "We only talked for fifteen minutes and didn't even kiss, invite me out to your next party and we'll go from there"

I don't understand what you are talking about here.

1 - You don't want to sound to eager to be alone with her? You SHOULD sound EAGER to be alone with her. You should sound like you want to give her the BEST SEX of her life and she will be missing out if she doesn't get physical. This is where alot of guys get confused as well, they think women are these delicate creatures who only like soft gentle guys who don't push their buttons and only touch them with permission. This is usually NEVER the case. Women WANT you to HAVE SEX with them.

rather than "Call me up this week and we'll fvck"
OR do I try to set something small up for this week? After all, I'm still fresh in her mind, and she seemed pretty interested initially.

She said "maybe next weekend" so you should have called her on it right there. If you do something with her, make sure it's an activity where you are ALONE with her. ANY activity with others and she will be DISTRACTED which won't work in your favor.

 

[Exhumed]

Good call, that's what I plan to do, and you're right, "aight" was a terrible response, I just didn't trust my drunk and high self to come up with something better.

 

[Exhumed]

Oh sh!ttt so I texted her today "Hey. what are you up to?" and she responded a half hour later "At work now but probably going to get off early you?" and a half hour later I said "(what I'm doing). hang out later? Watch a movie perhaps?"

So now it's an hour and 20 minutes later...I decided to facebook creep because, why the hell not, and found out she has a boyfriend! Hahah I'm guessing she's just not going to answer now. Unless she didn't get off work early and is busy now. Nahh, this case is probably closed at least for now.

If she does answer, I might still go for it, but probably not...if we hook up and then her boyfriend kills me, at least I won't die a virgin?

I've never had a girl flirt with me, excitedly offer up her number without me asking for it, text me, and then....err, probably not text back because she has a boyfriend. I guess that's women for ya.

NEXT!

 

[Exhumed]

She texted back "Haha nice sorry i just got of work now and have tons of hw to do"

so, yeah, NEXT!