Do I tell her she's pi$$ing me off?

[Tantric]

Well...

HBOreo flaked on me AGAIN!!!!!

Here's the story from the last 3 weeks:

#Close HBOreo...she then asks me for my #. We decide to make plans to get together on Saturday, i tell her i will call her on Thursday.

I call her thursday, she has plans for Sat already.

Monday she apologizes and re-schedules to hook up Friday.

Friday she completely flakes. No phone call, nothing.

Tuesday she apologizes (her phone was messed up), and we schedule Friday. I take her home that night and fvck her. She hadn't had an orgasm in 7 months and was VERY happy!!!!

Friday rolls around and she says she's sick, but still wants to hook up on the weekend.

Saturday she is feeling better, and a friend is coming over to visit. We decide to hook up Sunday...she was wondering if i was up for "Round 2" . I was going to be busy until around 6:00, so i told her i would call her when i get back, and we'll go out for a drink.

I call her...she's not home.

Now, this girl has already told me she likes me, and did not want it to be a ONS on Tuesday. She also "cuddled" with me...kisses me in public, etc. afterwards.

I guess what's pi$$ing me off is the fact that everytime we make plans or have "tentative" plans, something comes up. It seems like she's just playing games. She did tell me at one point, that she WASN'T playing games.

I also REALLY like this girl. I've been playing around for a while...ONS, FB's etc. Her and I are both 28...and I no longer want to "play"...especially with her because i like her.

Is it just my ego getting bruised by her flakiness? Or do i have serious reason to be mad. Do i bring it up?

Part of me wants to eject completely and move on.

 

[niggah]

she wouldnt be blowing you off if you were a good LAY!!!!
I suggest you pop in and surprise her once, seems she doesnt like to make plans

 

[Big Pappy]

Don't let the ego get bruised; she's just playing the same game you are. You had to wait and see; she's just letting you know that she's not going to sit around and wait on you.

Believe me, this is a good thing! The last thing you want is a girl who has no friends, no life, etc.

She has already told you she digs you. She's ready for round 2. Just make the plan, something she won't want to miss. Give the girl some excitement outside of the bedroom if you want excitement in the bedroom!

Just date her every couple of weeks. Talk to her once a week to make plans. If you want the LTR, ease her into your world.

Good luck.

 

[Tantric]

Yeah, i do want the LTR...

it was a wild night, and she said she'd be bragging to her friends he he...

I've just never had a girl be this flakey before.

It's bothering me to hell.

 

[OpenMind]

Back off from her a bit since you do want the LTR. Let her chase you, because she will value you more when she has to work for you.. you are in the driver's seat because she has already given up the pvssy.. as soon as you come across to a woman as a man wanting more she will back off.. so detach yourself from this situation and date other women if you have to.. she will smell it on you and if she really wants a relationship she will persue you.. good luck!

BTW: she knows it is bothering you that is why she is so flakey! when it doesnt bother you the game playing will slow down!

 

[Big Pappy]

I believe that fellow OpenMind knows something!

 

[drixsa]

tantric,

i knew u were gonna fall for this girl

yet i told u to keep this a F-buddy at most.

this is becuase you have already seen way too much flaky behavior from her so early on, which is not a good thing.

the fact that you actually think this girl is worth dating is beyond me.

she really seems to have a lack of personality except for all the c+f that you 2 shoot back and forth

you need to be in control of the relationship or else you will be pulling out your hair like you already seem to be doing.

and you have to risk it by cutting this girl off.

i dont care if she is "shy" or whatever it doesnt matter becuase you will end up crashing down if you continue to go after this girl.

by cutting her off and making her pursue you, you are telling her that her behavior is unacceptable regardless if she comes back to you or not.

i have a feeling she is used to playing and winning such games, so be prepaired.

think about it a girl that was really into YOU wouldnt constantly be flaking with you. FVCK EVERY EXCUSE she throws your way b/c if she really wanted to get in contact SHE WOULD

and you want to get into an LTR with this girl?, imagine what she will be doing months down the line if shes already flaked close to every time you have had plans with her since day 1.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Tantric
Saturday she is feeling better, and a friend is coming over to visit. We decide to hook up Sunday...she was wondering if i was up for "Round 2" . I was going to be busy until around 6:00, so i told her i would call her when i get back, and we'll go out for a drink.

I call her...she's not home.

My guess: she doesn't want to be "waiting by the phone for you to call." High-school girls and AFC chicks do that.

Either way, don't get angry. As far as she's concerned, you called up one of your backup women and had better sex than she can imagine. Call her up the next day and be like, "Sorry I missed you last night...let's do xxxxxx at xxxxxx at xx:xx"

And if she declines that, just vanish for a week. When she realizes that YOU'RE not waiting by the phone either, she may start reconsidering the game she's playing.

Originally posted by OpenMind
BTW: she knows it is bothering you that is why she is so flakey! when it doesnt bother you the game playing will slow down!

 

[Tantric]

Originally posted by drixsa
tantric,

i knew u were gonna fall for this girl

yet i told u to keep this a F-buddy at most.

this is becuase you have already seen way too much flaky behavior from her so early on, which is not a good thing.

the fact that you actually think this girl is worth dating is beyond me.

I hear ya...I hear ya...I'M JUST TIRED OF HAVING FB's!!!!!! Ah, well...I'll switch my mentality to that today.

Originally posted by drixsa

she really seems to have a lack of personality except for all the c+f that you 2 shoot back and forth

you need to be in control of the relationship or else you will be pulling out your hair like you already seem to be doing.

Well...i wouldn't say she has a lack of personality. I really haven't touched base on our other convos. However, i do agree with the "control" thing (i had to go back and read my own post in the Bible )...and i'm not pulling my hair out...yet

Originally posted by drixsa

...and you want to get into an LTR with this girl?, imagine what she will be doing months down the line if shes already flaked close to every time you have had plans with her since day 1.

Yeah...i agree. I'm sure she'll some up with some BS excuse, so i should probably play it cool and not care right? Make it sound like it didn't bother me cuz i hooked up with "another girl" i know. If she tries making BS "Date" plans on the weekend, I'll tell her I am busy. I WAS going to invite her to spend the night today (I'll get a ride home with her). Should i invite her up anyway and go for the lay? Or do i keep the convo short and leave it at that? I told myself that if she flaked out (which she did), then I won't EVER call this chick again until she smartens up.

I remember someone saying to "to keep her attracted, do the things that made her attracted to you in the first place". So...at school I'll still pretty much talk to all the other girls in class instead of her...keep up the c/f...demonstrate more value, etc.

Sound good?

 

[So pimp its scary]

I would say apply a soft next on this girl...

To me, she has been WAAYYY to flakey to even bother with, but to each his own.

What I mean is, basically put her on probation... stop calling her, and tell her that it's her turn to make plans when she finally calls you back.

Take control of this situation. The only way you can do that, is to carry on with your life. Go on a date with another woman in the meantime. It is this target girl that must put in some effort now, or cut the chain. Unless you just want the FB, because I think that is all she will ever be for you.

I think you would be alot happier with a girl that wouldn't play all these little games. Flakey girls don't get better with time...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Gimme a N!!!

Gimme a E!!!

Gimme a X!!!

Gimme a T!!!


Listen, if her IL was high, she wouldn't flake out twice in a row... Think about it....

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Tantric, like I said over on mASF, you've got to get out of your head that this will end up being a BF - GF thing. It is strictly ST, an off and on hook-up. This is very important for your mental well-being but even more importantly, it will cause you to do things the right way with the resulting effect that her attraction to you will continue to rise.

HB 9.0s do not want just another guy falling for them. Every guy they have ever hooked up with has fallen for them. They have had enough of these guys. They are looking for that rare guy that can take 'em or leave 'em.

You have to bust her, however, on flaking on you again. You have to let know that you do not find it acceptable. She has to know you have rules even if it is just a bump and run situation.

But then go back to your normal C&F self. Let her see that flaking is not acceptable but you are not going to flip out and lose control over it. You are used to dealing with flaky really hot chicks like her.

This is what she is looking for from you now.

And then give her the 2 hour treatment when you two get it on again. Remember 9.0 models are not looking for sex or even good sex. They are only looking for awesome sex. Oh, did I mention I have a bit of experience with the 9.0s and 9.5s.

 

[Tantric]

JustDoItAlways...

yup...changed my viewpoint as of this afternoon.

In class we didn't say too much, but eventually i told her that the flakiness was pissing me off. I didn't say it confrontational, or with a lot of emotion...just kind of "matter of factly". She apologized, and then i got back into the c/f routine.

It's VERY good thing that i know what i am doing in bed! I will ALWAYS concentrate on the girl, before myself, and that usually works out fantastic for me. She commented a few times on how good i was.

I totally remember you saying that it was only going to be FB, or an occasional hookup, and after this afternoon, i changed my thinking process...yeah...i did want to date her...but whatever...Besides, she told me today that she wants to take the time to get to know me.

Actually, the kicker from the evening is that i was doing my usual c/f ****, and i pi$$ed her off!!! She started to make me feel bad giving me the cold shoulder and angry stares...WTF...

We sorted out everything after class, and then she apologized for "over-reacting".

This whole thing in getting dumb, and i know i will never call her again...though i'll probably invite her up tomorrow depending on how i am feeling...give her the 2 hour routine.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

she is a wh@re and u r a wh@remonger - quit chasing her as a candidate for your future wife and start treating her like the wh@re that she is!

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
she is a wh@re and u r a wh@remonger - quit chasing her as a candidate for your future wife and start treating her like the wh@re that she is!

L M A O !!!!!!!! Damn youre wild as all he11...lol

 

[MikeYikes122]

Hey Tantric. So I didn't have time to read how this whole post progressed, but I feel like I should just reiterate what I said last time. I don't think you should next her at all. Remember the last time you were so close to nexting her? Yeah you fvcked her all night long like two days later.

YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER MAN the downfall of asking for advice on here is that half of the guys who are on here have probably never even delt with a girl this good looking, and another half of that population probably just reads the bible over and over again then recites responses verbatum from it. (Hence all the next responses). It blows my mind how some of these guys try to look at girls so logically. This used to be a huge problem of mine until I finally realized that there is nothing logical about girls at all, and especially the super hot ones at that. You can't say "Well she didn't call you and her phone didn't work and she didn't come back after you fvcked her so well, so obviously you're wrong. You don't pass go. You don't collect 200 dollars. NEXT HER!" You can't look at such an illogical being in such a logical format. This is going to sound cliche, but you just have to trust your instincts with these broads. I am finally starting to learn myself that the way that she looks at me the first time I meet her, or the way that she talks to me the first time, if I think "this chick wants my balls", then that is really the best thing to bet on. This is before she has a chance to play any games with you. From my personal experiences I think it is extremely hard to change the first impression a girl has on you.

In your situation I think that yeah she does like you, and she is just trying to fvck with you. I don't think any of us can decide whether or not she is LTR material man, but I can tell you that 9 out of 10 of these guys are just going to tell you to next her - it's the most generic and easy response.

I can tell you that I have many times in my life been in your situation, and every fvckin one of them does this sh!t. Hell I even have this hot chick pulling this exact same crap on me right now. It's ridiculous, and it's hard to make sense out of. I personally think they just have so many guys going after them that they have to do this **** to find a keeper (every guy I know hits on my current girl), but I'm breaking my own cardinal rule with that explanation: looking at them logically. I also think that maybe these broads are so fine that they are extremely insecure and so scared of looking desperate that they have to do this hot cold sh!t with guys. So by that thinking I guess these games are good things.

Sorry I got longwinded

I guess I think you should just talk to other girls and then call her at a later date. This is what I've found out to be the best cure. I've found that when I talk to other girls two things happen. I start to realize that there are other hot girls out there that I could get easily, and I stop worrying about little sh!t that my current prospect does - often this puts things into perspective and I end up saying things like "Why the hell did I get so fvcking worked up over that!? She so obviously liked me..." I hope you see my point. I used to worry about **** like this so much that I thought I had a mental problem. Hell I had one chick fvck me up so bad with this stuff that I quit talking to girls for almost half a year last year. (Not literally, but you get what I mean.)

God I could keep going on this subject for hours, but I'm just going to end on that note. I hope you managed to get something out of this post Tantric because it's starting to sound more like a blog entry.

So you all can fire up those fingers. Get typing. Tell me how wrong I am. Tell me about how the bible says this, Doc Love says this, or Pook says this. (Nothing against him at all. I think he is an inexhaustable source of advice for us all. I'm just coming at those that insist on jerking him off at any chance they get.) Tell me how big of an AFC I am because if I had a middle finger to give you over the internet I guarantee you you'd see it in a heartbeat.