Do I need to swallow the age pill or can I really get laid abundantly in mid 30s to mid 40s?

[Yam_Naem_Kluk]

Unlike many men, I didn't spend my 20s or early 30s with a diverse number of sexual partners. I was in two long-term relationships, and both of them failed for various reasons. There seems to be contrasting information out there on the reality I'm faced with as someone in their mid-30s who wants to make up for lost time. Let's be honest...20s and early 30s are prime time for many guys.

I would like to sleep with roughly 40-50 women between my mid-30s and early to mid-40s. I don't see myself wanting to focus on raising my lay count beyond that point. I think it's a good number at which I'd be content in terms of experience with women and finding out what I like.

I'm not sure how realistic that goal is, though. Something tells me I need to swallow the age pill and admit that I can't realistically turn myself into some sort of player. There is zero evidence of me being capable of that during my youth, let alone as I start to get older and less attractive.

One thing I will say is that I'm not overly fussy about the age of the women I would bang. Ideally, 18-23 is best, but I am more open to a diverse span of age ranges than many guys. I guess another thing potentially on my side is that I'm willing to look outside my country, perhaps where age is less of a big deal than in the Western world. I'm open to visiting places like South America or South East Asia, most likely for 2-3 weeks at a time. I wouldn't be travelling just to bang; these are countries in these regions I would already enjoy visiting for other reasons.

Guess I'm looking for advice on whether my goals are realistic.

 

[SW15]

Your goals of sex with 40-50 women in the next 10 years will be difficult to achieve. You'll have to become a top tier seducer to do that. You'll take a lot of rejections. Tons of flaking.

There's been nothing wrong with your 2 LTRs at age 31-32. I'd focus more on your sex frequency than partner count. For most men, a solid LTR will result in more frequent sex because you're not constantly having to approach and get rejected. Your life path up until now was decent for getting laid regularly.

I'd look into changing your goals. Running up a big partner count doesn't mean a lot. After a certain notch count, a new partner doesn't mean a whole lot.

And Then What? – Roosh Valizadeh

Many men raised in the West are programmed to set ambitious goals for themselves. They spend months or years trying to accomplish a specific goal, thinking that once it happens, their life will unfold like a movie where they are the hero carried off on the shoulders of admirers. This doesn't happen.

www.rooshv.com

Roosh wrote this in 2018, when he had a partner count in the hundreds and was a year away from a religious conversion.

I would say that at 32, it would be best if you only had sex with women younger than you. That's a reasonable standard for a 32 year old.

 

[Yam_Naem_Kluk]

I'd look into changing your goals. Running up a big partner count doesn't mean a lot. After a certain notch count, a new partner doesn't mean a whole lot.

Thanks for your reply. I know after a certain notch count it will probably lose its value (I certainly don't ever plan to keep continuously chasing some high numbers for the sake of an ego boost), however, it's hard to know at what number notch count it will feel enough. The average man has something like 6-10 lifetime sexual partners...I thought 30 seemed a good target to shoot for that's above average but also feasible.

 

[SW15]

Thanks for your reply. I know after a certain notch count it will probably lose its value (I certainly don't ever plan to keep continuously chasing some high numbers for the sake of an ego boost), however, it's hard to know at what number notch count it will feel enough. The average man has something like 6-10 lifetime sexual partners...I thought 30 seemed a good target to shoot for that's above average but also feasible.

A 30 notch count is a solid count. It looks from your post count that you have 2 notches. A LTR from ages 18-21 and an LTR from ages 23-32.

I wasted my youth and I'm struggling to let my regrets go. Any tips or advice?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like the vast majority of people look back fondly at young adulthood (18-30) as the best time of their lives particularly woman-wise. I'm sure the majority of people here spent their young adulthood in a haze of glorious hedonism. Having a wild 20s is the...

www.sosuave.net

You didn't miss that much with your college sex life. Most men enter college at 18 and expect it to be a vagina fest. It isn't. Check out this thread for the reality of college sex lives for most men. It's not your fault for believing what you believe about your college years.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

I'd say the most important thing for you right now would be to develop healthier interactions with women. You spent 9 years in an LTR and a good portion of them were toxic.

 

[Yam_Naem_Kluk]

I'd say the most important thing for you right now would be to develop healthier interactions with women. You spent 9 years in an LTR and a good portion of them were toxic.

While my partner wasn't completely devoid of blame, much of the toxicity was down to my own mental health difficulties (chronic depression) that went untreated for a large part of my life. But yes, I certainly will be more careful in the future about the women I settle down with whenever that happens again. I don't plan on it until my mid 40s anyway...time to enjoy a decade or so of being single.

 

[Plinco]

I would like to sleep with roughly 40-50 women between my mid-30s and early to mid-40s. I don't see myself wanting to focus on raising my lay count beyond that point. I think it's a good number at which I'd be content in terms of experience with women and finding out what I like.

I'm not sure how realistic that goal is, though. Something tells me I need to swallow the age pill and admit that I can't realistically turn myself into some sort of player. There is zero evidence of me being capable of that during my youth, let alone as I start to get older and less attractive.

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Why do you want to sleep with that many women? If you have a woman you really like, perhaps you can stick with her.

I guess another thing potentially on my side is that I'm willing to look outside my country, perhaps where age is less of a big deal than in the Western world. I'm open to visiting places like South America or South East Asia, most likely for 2-3 weeks at a time. I wouldn't be travelling just to bang; these are countries in these regions I would already enjoy visiting for other reasons.

Latin American doesn't have a hookup culture like we do in the west. Also you'll be dealing with different cultures. Maybe that's not a deal breaker but something you really have to consider.

 

[viking22]

If you are above average in looks and live in a major metropolitan centre you should be able to sleep with average looking and occasionally good looking women in their 30s. It really is not much of an achievement if you are good at playing the numbers game and learn to be sexually aggressive to weed out time wasters. And for casual sex all you really need is a bit of chemistry so it does not really matter if she is only average looking and you can still enjoy a lot of variety in terms of body type/ethnicity etc.

But you will soon realize that the real difficulty is finding quality women for a relationship. Most of the attractive women still single in their 30s are incredibly picky and while it is possible to date them or even have short term casual relationships they will not commit unless you are much higher than them in looks/status/money etc.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

If your goal is to tap a lot of new repeatedly your goal is lofty unless you're a top-tier guy like the proverbial chad but with bank.

You can, however, in your 40s and 50s maintain a stable harem of several women if you're dedicated to the craft and have something to offer that differentiates you. It does require some work and attention to detail to pull off, and preventative maintenance as a plate will fall off now and then. I have managed 5-6 in rotation with 70% of them bi-weekly taps and the balance bi or tri-monthly. Some plates have been in play for years - it works for us, as we both have demanding careers and whole other lives we've lived.

If you want the 20-30 crowd good luck, they're utter attention sinks, they want to CONSUME your resources and your time. You can pull one here and there and keep them for a bit, but they'll drop most likely when they try to consolidate on you and fail.

Just my $.02.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

It is doable.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Assuming you’re attractive & decent game. It should not be hard. However, in my case, as i got older, job pressures, too much hard partying and women wanting to stake a claim on me led me to (mostly) settle down.

 

[Kotaix]

depending on the country, some south american cultures haven't had historical exposure to certain ethnicities, so you might run into some issues banging women in those countries (depending on your ethnicity). I would do some further research if you're planning a trip there if banging is part of the experience you're looking for.

That said, south american women are more open to hookups with foreigners than they are with men from their own countries because there are no strings attached. South American women are very much worried about the "..But what will everyone say..." scenario if the guy is going to be around after the fling.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I have seen a number of men do this so it is not as tough as others in this thread make it sound like. However, the issue for your age is not more external as it is internal. If you are asking a thread like this, you have certain beliefs embedded in you which would make it tough to get the rational confidence and swagger needed to bed a lot of women. By your late 20s, your brain gets very stubborn on what it wants to believe so whatever negative thoughts you had about women get amplified ten fold at that point. Older usually means bitter.

However, if you do things like daygaming aggressively, committing to a good pickup program, maximizing your looks, and getting good logistics, you can easily hit the 50 notch count mark in a year.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Unlike many men, I didn't spend my 20s or early 30s with a diverse number of sexual partners. I was in two long-term relationships, and both of them failed for various reasons. There seems to be contrasting information out there on the reality I'm faced with as someone in their mid-30s who wants to make up for lost time. Let's be honest...20s and early 30s are prime time for many guys.

I would like to sleep with roughly 40-50 women between my mid-30s and early to mid-40s. I don't see myself wanting to focus on raising my lay count beyond that point. I think it's a good number at which I'd be content in terms of experience with women and finding out what I like.

I'm not sure how realistic that goal is, though. Something tells me I need to swallow the age pill and admit that I can't realistically turn myself into some sort of player. There is zero evidence of me being capable of that during my youth, let alone as I start to get older and less attractive.

One thing I will say is that I'm not overly fussy about the age of the women I would bang. Ideally, 18-23 is best, but I am more open to a diverse span of age ranges than many guys. I guess another thing potentially on my side is that I'm willing to look outside my country, perhaps where age is less of a big deal than in the Western world. I'm open to visiting places like South America or South East Asia, most likely for 2-3 weeks at a time. I wouldn't be travelling just to bang; these are countries in these regions I would already enjoy visiting for other reasons.

Guess I'm looking for advice on whether my goals are realistic.

I've banged at least 60 women from my mid 30s to mid 40s so yeah, you can definitely get laid at that age. This includes 3 LTRs that lasted about 5.5 years in total so that number would have been far higher if I was a free agent for all that time.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have seen a number of men do this so it is not as tough as others in this thread make it sound like. However, the issue for your age is not more external as it is internal. If you are asking a thread like this, you have certain beliefs embedded in you which would make it tough to get the rational confidence and swagger needed to bed a lot of women. By your late 20s, your brain gets very stubborn on what it wants to believe so whatever negative thoughts you had about women get amplified ten fold at that point. Older usually means bitter.

However, if you do things like daygaming aggressively, committing to a good pickup program, maximizing your looks, and getting good logistics, you can easily hit the 50 notch count mark in a year.

It isn't hard at all to be honest. Just have to put yourself out there and keep at it, working on improving yourself to the best of your ability and improving your game. With every failed interaction/date you should be able to at least take an honest look back to see what you could have done better or things you did that you shouldn't have so that you can improve next time.

Incremental improvements will take you very far over time. The problem a lot of guys have is they aren't willing to start at the bottom and climb their way out because the progress is the slowest down there. It picks up exponentially once you hit certain points.

I got to the point where I had women stroking my c0ck as we were having drinks, me rubbing their pvssy over their pants(and sometimes sticking my hand down them) and sometimes begging me to take them somewhere to fvck them if I got them horny enough...BJs in the car in parking lots were commonplace.

But it took quite a bit of work and quite a few dates and failed dates til I got to that point. You have to find something that works FOR YOU. What I did or others are doing might not work for you due to personality differences, ability to read the woman and/or ability to properly escalate. What SHOULD happen over time is more and more dates lead to makeouts, sex and second dates, third dates and plates.

I also was in elite shape, muscular and fit. But that is part of it. The farther from great shape you are in, the harder you'll have to work. That does a lot of talking for you.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

It isn't hard at all to be honest. Just have to put yourself out there and keep at it, working on improving yourself to the best of your ability and improving your game. With every failed interaction/date you should be able to at least take an honest look back to see what you could have done better or things you did that you shouldn't have so that you can improve next time.

Incremental improvements will take you very far over time. The problem a lot of guys have is they aren't willing to start at the bottom and climb their way out because the progress is the slowest down there. It picks up exponentially once you hit certain points.

I got to the point where I had women stroking my c0ck as we were having drinks, me rubbing their pvssy over their pants(and sometimes sticking my hand down them) and sometimes begging me to take them somewhere to fvck them if I got them horny enough...BJs in the car in parking lots were commonplace.

But it took quite a bit of work and quite a few dates and failed dates til I got to that point. You have to find something that works FOR YOU. What I did or others are doing might not work for you due to personality differences, ability to read the woman and/or ability to properly escalate. What SHOULD happen over time is more and more dates lead to makeouts, sex and second dates, third dates and plates.

I also was in elite shape, muscular and fit. But that is part of it. The farther from great shape you are in, the harder you'll have to work. That does a lot of talking for you.

+1

It's plausible but majority of men don't approach. Aren't stepping their game up. It's spectator mode &&& boomer pods. Most fellas switch off before 30 let alone 40. Fellas need to cultivate game. Get a life. Have things going on in life. Put these hoes on ice when they get out of pocket. Source lots. #next @ everyone that crosses your boundaries. Turn on the charm 1sec. Be icy as ****kkk the next.

These hoes need a pair of skates. She's secs away from being put on ice or placed on disregard. Act accordingly OP. The game is catch &&& release.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

It isn't hard at all to be honest. Just have to put yourself out there and keep at it, working on improving yourself to the best of your ability and improving your game. With every failed interaction/date you should be able to at least take an honest look back to see what you could have done better or things you did that you shouldn't have so that you can improve next time.

Incremental improvements will take you very far over time. The problem a lot of guys have is they aren't willing to start at the bottom and climb their way out because the progress is the slowest down there. It picks up exponentially once you hit certain points.

I got to the point where I had women stroking my c0ck as we were having drinks, me rubbing their pvssy over their pants(and sometimes sticking my hand down them) and sometimes begging me to take them somewhere to fvck them if I got them horny enough...BJs in the car in parking lots were commonplace.

But it took quite a bit of work and quite a few dates and failed dates til I got to that point. You have to find something that works FOR YOU. What I did or others are doing might not work for you due to personality differences, ability to read the woman and/or ability to properly escalate. What SHOULD happen over time is more and more dates lead to makeouts, sex and second dates, third dates and plates.

I also was in elite shape, muscular and fit. But that is part of it. The farther from great shape you are in, the harder you'll have to work. That does a lot of talking for you.

If the venue is empty enough you can actually take your c0ck out lol.

 

[SW15]

It's plausible but majority of men don't approach. Aren't stepping their game up. It's spectator mode &&& boomer pods. Most fellas switch off before 30 let alone 40.

Majority of men don't approach but majority of men are a part of committed relationships and have no need to approach. My closest friends and some of their friends (mere acquaintances to me) are not a representative sample. All of these men are 30-40 year old men in committed relationships. Some have impregnated their wives within the past 2 years and have newborns or a currently pregnant wife. All exited.

The male friends you made in your 20s or even earlier in life have become more distant for me. I am on the fringes of social circles because most social circles of people 30+ are dominated by couples. General social gatherings are established couples hanging out with each other. In the last 4-5 years, I have attended these events less and less. There were only 2 such events for me in 2021 and 0 in 2022 thus far. The established couples don't want you around and you don't want to be around them either.

Let's talk about one of those 2021 events. I had some event attended by a bunch of established couples 4th of July weekend in 2021. It has been ~380 days since then. Among the attendees of that event, there have been 3 pregnancies since then. All the women getting pregnant then are 30+ women with their first pregnancies. I'd call 2 of the 3 women careerist. These are definitely "last call" type pregnancies. Beta male-dom and the blue pill is still real.

This is why I am a lone wolf mostly. I don't see most of these men on an individual basis except for every 2-3 months.

 

[corrector]

Unlike many men, I didn't spend my 20s or early 30s with a diverse number of sexual partners. I was in two long-term relationships, and both of them failed for various reasons. There seems to be contrasting information out there on the reality I'm faced with as someone in their mid-30s who wants to make up for lost time. Let's be honest...20s and early 30s are prime time for many guys.

I would like to sleep with roughly 40-50 women between my mid-30s and early to mid-40s. I don't see myself wanting to focus on raising my lay count beyond that point. I think it's a good number at which I'd be content in terms of experience with women and finding out what I like.

I'm not sure how realistic that goal is, though. Something tells me I need to swallow the age pill and admit that I can't realistically turn myself into some sort of player. There is zero evidence of me being capable of that during my youth, let alone as I start to get older and less attractive.

One thing I will say is that I'm not overly fussy about the age of the women I would bang. Ideally, 18-23 is best, but I am more open to a diverse span of age ranges than many guys. I guess another thing potentially on my side is that I'm willing to look outside my country, perhaps where age is less of a big deal than in the Western world. I'm open to visiting places like South America or South East Asia, most likely for 2-3 weeks at a time. I wouldn't be travelling just to bang; these are countries in these regions I would already enjoy visiting for other reasons.

Guess I'm looking for advice on whether my goals are realistic.

Two LTRs is great experience already. You can still pair-bond.

 

[The Duke]

I was 32 when I got divorced. I had only been with the woman I married. I worked very hard on getting better with women and became quite successful as well as had a blast. Some times i would go out 3-4nites a week chasing girls. I had over 70 women in a ten year span. All ages. A few HB7's, mostly HB8's, and a HB9. Even had a 4yr relationship with one girl during that time period. How bad do you want it. It will take work and commitment.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

Your goals of sex with 40-50 women in the next 10 years will be difficult to achieve. You'll have to become a top tier seducer to do that. You'll take a lot of rejections. Tons of flaking.

There's been nothing wrong with your 2 LTRs at age 31-32. I'd focus more on your sex frequency than partner count. For most men, a solid LTR will result in more frequent sex because you're not constantly having to approach and get rejected. Your life path up until now was decent for getting laid regularly.

I'd look into changing your goals. Running up a big partner count doesn't mean a lot. After a certain notch count, a new partner doesn't mean a whole lot.

And Then What? – Roosh Valizadeh

Many men raised in the West are programmed to set ambitious goals for themselves. They spend months or years trying to accomplish a specific goal, thinking that once it happens, their life will unfold like a movie where they are the hero carried off on the shoulders of admirers. This doesn't happen.

www.rooshv.com

Roosh wrote this in 2018, when he had a partner count in the hundreds and was a year away from a religious conversion.

I would say that at 32, it would be best if you only had sex with women younger than you. That's a reasonable standard for a 32 year old.

How would different 50 women in 10 years be difficult for anyone to achieve?

That's like 5 a year!!!